Laurel et Hardy au Far-West (1937)

James Finlayson: Mickey Finn

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mickey Finn : I'm Mary's legal guardian. What do you want to see her for?

  Ollie : [smiling and shutting his eyes in his famous charming disarming way]  Well, sir, we aren't supposed to talk about that to anyone else.

  Stan : [attempting to speak in a serious, slightly self-important tone, but obviously just blabbing away carelessly]  Yeah, you see, it's PRIVATE. Her father died and left her a gold mine, and we're not supposed tell it to anyone but her, right Ollie?

  Ollie : [looking disgusted at Stan's stupidity]  Now that he's taken you into our CONFIDENCE...

  [gives Stan an annoyed shove] 

  Ollie : You might as well know the rest!

• [Finn pushes the $1 key on the cash register and .10 shows up, he opens the cash register case to examine it, and .10 appears when he presses the $1 key again] 

  [first lines] 

  Mickey Finn : Hey, this thing ain't workin' right.

  Bartender : It's working all right for me.

  [Finn does a double take] 

• Lola Marcel : [shows Finn the deed]  Ha - *ha*!

  Mickey Finn : Ho - *ho*!

  Ollie : [grabs the deed]  He - *he*!

• Mickey Finn : Can you do it?

  Lola Marcel : [scoffs]  Can I do it? For a gold mine, I could be Cleopatra!

• Patron : Hey Finn, you're a lucky man to have a swell gal like that.

  Mickey Finn : Yeah I... What are you talking about? She's the lucky one to have a swell guy like me!

• Mickey Finn : [enters room]  Lola, Lola, we've got a fortune right in the palm of our hand!

  Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : What do you mean?

  Mickey Finn : There's a couple of desert rats downstairs looking for Mary Roberts.

  Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : What about it?

  Mickey Finn : They've got a deed to a very valuable gold mine left to her by her father, and they're here to deliver it to her in person.

  Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : Well, ain't that just grand!

  Mickey Finn : It would be... if you were Mary Roberts.

  Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : I gotcha, but I'd never get away with it.

  Mickey Finn : Sure you would; they've never seen Mary Roberts.

  Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : Then it's a cinch!

• Mickey Finn : [the real Mary knocks at the door]  Who's there?

  Mary Roberts : Mary.

  Stan : Mary who?

  Mickey Finn : [nervously]  Mary - Merry Christmas. Ohhh...

  [opens the door] 

  Mary Roberts : Excuse me, Mr. Finn, one of these gentlemen dropped this at the foot of the stairs.

  Ollie : [takes the deed from her hands, not recognizing her as the real Mary]  Oh, oh why thank you, little lady, you don't know what you've done, thanks!

  Mickey Finn : [shows Mary out of the room, closing the door]  All right, all right, all right.

  Ollie : [hands the deed to Lola, unaware that she's pretending to be Mary]  There you are: signed, sealed, and now delivered.

  Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : Oh, thank you so much.

  Ollie : Not at all.

  [Mickey Finn utters a sigh of exhausted relief] 

  Ollie : Come Stanley, we'd better be going.

  Stan : Oh say, what about the locket?

  Ollie : That's right I...

  Stan : We've got something else for you.

  Ollie : I almost forgot it.

  [puts on his derby and loosens his necktie] 

  Ollie : And besides that...

  [unbuttons his shirt and takes out the locket] 

  Ollie : your father left you this family heirloom.

  Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : Oh yes, I - I remember it well.

  Ollie : Help me get it off, Stanley.

  [Ollie loosens his collar while Stan tries to take the locket chain off of Ollie's neck by pulling it up around his chin] 

  Stan : Am I hurting you?

  Ollie : No, just a minute.

  Stan : Won't be long.

  [Stan tries again to take the chain off of Ollie] 

  Stan : Maybe I'd better try and open it again.

  Ollie : I think so.

  [Stan loosens Ollie's collar to get to the clasp] 

  Stan : It slipped.

  [Stan unbuttons Ollie's shirt] 

  Stan : Maybe you'd better take your coat off.

  Ollie : [starts to take off his coat]  Pardon me just a minute.

  [Stan removes Ollie's necktie and collar; Ollie takes his suspenders off and the locket falls down his trousers leg to the floor] 

  Ollie : [Stan reaches up Ollie's back and finds a thread, Ollie breaks the thread and discovers an unraveled undergarment]  We'll find it in just a moment.

  [Ollie takes off his shirt, and Stan notices the locket on the floor and picks it up] 

  Ollie : We got it.

  [Stan hands the locket to Lola] 

  Ollie : I'm gonna go in and change, pardon us.

  [Ollie goes into the bedroom to put his clothes back on, and Stan follows] 

• Stan : [Ollie lays his clothes on the bed, Stan sits down]  Say Ollie?

  Oliver : What?

  Stan : Now that you've got your clothes off, why don't you take a bath?,

  Oliver : Would you mind leaving the room? Can't I ever have a little privacy?

  Stan : I was just trying to kill two birds with one stone.

  Mickey Finn : [in the living room]  And I'll take care of those two bozos and get them out of town.

  Lola Marcel : [Stan opens the door and overhears Lola talking to Mickey]  Don't worry, leave everything to me. I've done pretty good up to now, haven't I?

  Stan : You certainly have, I wish you were in my shoes.

  Mickey Finn : Eh-hrm, oh how about a drink on the house?

  Oliver : That suits me fine.

  Stan : How'd you get dressed so quick?

  Oliver : None of your business.

  [Finn goes to open his front door] 

  Oliver : Goodbye Miss Roberts, and thanks for the use of your boudoir.

  Lola Marcel : You're very welcome.

  Stan : Goodbye. Now that you've got the mine, I bet you'll be a swell gold-digger.

  [Ollie pushes Stan out the door as Finn leaves the room] 

  Lola Marcel : [Lola examines the deed as Finn re-enters the room a moment later, hiding the deed behind her back]  What did you leave them for?

  Mickey Finn : I'll send her right up, you have her sign that deed over to us.

  Lola Marcel : Oh, don't worry about me, get those guys out of town, and pronto!

  Mickey Finn : All right!

  [Finn goes down to the saloon] 

  Lola Marcel : What a cinch!

• Stan : [Ollie knocks on Mickey Finn's door]  Who's there?

  Ollie : Me.

  Stan : Me, who?

  Ollie : [annoyed at Stan's response]  "Me, who?"

  [Mickey Finn goes to the door, Ollie knocks on his head] 

  Mickey Finn : Well - What do you want?

  Ollie : Out of my way, you snake in the grass!

  [Ollie brushes Finn aside] 

  Stan : You toad in the hole.

  [Stan yanks Finn's necktie, Finn kicks Stan in retaliation] 

  Lola Marcel : Say you slugs, what do you mean busting in here like this?

  Stan : We want to know why you are not Mary Roberts.

  Ollie : I'll take care of this matter.

  Lola Marcel : So you got wise, huh? Well, if it's this deed you're after, you're just out of luck.

  [Ollie grabs the deed from Lola, and a chase ensues] 

  Lola Marcel : Give that back to me!

  Ollie : Take it, Stan!

  [Ollie pursues Mickey Finn] 

  Ollie : Beat it!

• Mickey Finn : [holding a pistol]  Now, get out of here!

  [knock on the door] 

  Mickey Finn : Who's there?

  Sheriff : The sheriff.

  Ollie : Just in the nick of time! Now we'll get justice! Come in, Sheriff, you're just the man I'm looking for!

  Sheriff : And you're just the man I'm looking for.

  Ollie : Oh thank you, this man -

  [Ollie recognizes the Sheriff whose wife was pestered by Stan and Ollie in the stagecoach] 

  Ollie : Ohhh!

  [Stan laughs hysterically] 

  Sheriff : [Ollie taps Stan on the shoulder, he stops laughing]  I thought I told you two dudes to catch the next coach out of town.

  Ollie : [meekly]  Yes, sir.

  Sheriff : Well, it left ten minutes ago.

  Ollie : It did? Well, maybe we'd better try and catch it.

  Sheriff : Well, I'd say you'd better!

  [the Sheriff fires his guns, chasing Stan and Ollie out of town] 

  Sheriff : Look at 'em go!

  Mickey Finn : Ha, you can't see 'em for dust!

  [Sheriff laughs] 

• Mickey Finn : [crowd chants "We want Lola! We want Lola! We want Lola!"]  And now gentlemen, it has always been my aim to give you the best entertainment that money can buy. I have brought here at great expense...

  Patron : Aw, get a piece of fat and slide off!

  Mickey Finn : Who said that?

  [a customer fires a gun and the shot blows Finn's top hat from his head, laughter and a scream are heard] 

  Mickey Finn : All right, you'll get Lola!

• Mickey Finn : Splendid. Splendid!

  Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale : She fell for it, like you fell for me.

  Mickey Finn : Lola, my gal, we're sittin' pretty.

• Mickey Finn : [from the staircase]  Hey! If you come upstairs, I'll introduce you to Mary Roberts.

  Oliver : Right away, sir.

  Mary Roberts : [enters from the kitchen]  Did you call me, Mr. Finn?

  Mickey Finn : [runs down the stairs]  Ohhh! Get back into the kitchen where you belong! Go ahead now, don't bother me!

  [goes up the stairs to his residence] 

  Mickey Finn : This way gentlemen, come right this way.

  [stumbles on the staircase]