- Alex: Hey, boss, you ain't goin' upstairs, are ya? Where those ghosts is?
- Larry Lawrence: Listen, you stay there, and if a couple a fellas come runnin' down the stairs in a few minutes, let the first one go. That'll be me.
- Alex: If somebody passes you, that'll be me.
- Larry Lawrence: No, my name is Lawrence.
- Mary Carter: Lawrence what?
- Larry Lawrence: Lawrence.
- Mary Carter: [in mocking/sarcastic tone] Lawrence Lawrence.
- Larry Lawrence: Yeah, and my middle name is Lawrence too. My folks had no imagination.
- Larry Lawrence: [about Alex] He always sees the darker side of everything. He was born during an eclipse.
- Larry Lawrence: The girls call me Pilgrim, because every time I dance with one I make a little progress.
- Mary Carter: You may be a Pilgrim, but I can see you're no Puritan.
- Larry Lawrence: How'd you like the program?
- Telephone Girl: Oh, you were wonderful, if you're any judge.
- Larry Lawrence: This is no penny ante game, Alex.
- Alex: Well, what are you gonna get out of it?
- Larry Lawrence: Heart failure.
- Raspy Kelly: He's drivin' his car, see? Another car comes along, runs him into a ditch. Marky gets all smashed up.
- Larry Lawrence: When did it happen?
- Raspy Kelly: Well, I can't tell you exactly, but it'll probably be tomorrow.
- [Alex jumps on the assailant in armor struggling with Larry and pulls off the assailant's helmet to see a disfigured man]
- Alex: [gasps] It's a zombie!
- Larry Lawrence: It ain't Baby Snooks!
- Larry Lawrence: Maybe you know what a zombie is.
- Mary Carter: A what?
- Larry Lawrence: Well, Parada just told me about a caretaker on Black Island. A negro woman, lives in a little shack with a zombie son.
- Geoff Montgomery: Yes, that's more voodooism, and not very pleasant. When a person dies and is buried, it seems there are certain voodoo priests who - who have the power to bring him back to life.
- Mary Carter: How horrible!
- Geoff Montgomery: It's worse than horrible because a Zombie has no will of his own. You see them sometimes walking around blindly with dead eyes, following orders, not knowing what they do, not caring.
- Larry Lawrence: You mean, like Democrats?
- Parada: Are you the one advising Miss Carter to sell the castle?
- Larry Lawrence: No, my advice is keep the castle and sell the ghosts.
- Parada: I myself have heard of only one ghost: the spirit of Don Santiago.
- Larry Lawrence: Tell me, does he appear nightly or just Sundays and Holidays?
- Alex: A lot of folks don't like you, boss. I expect some of these mornings when I come to get you outta the bed, I'll have to pull the sheet up instead of down.
- [last lines]
- Francisco Mederes: He wasn't playing. That was the real ghost!
- Larry Lawrence: Now we have something to worry about on our honeymoon.
- Mary Carter: Our what?
- Larry Lawrence: Our honeymoon. Didn't I tell ya?
- Mary Carter: No, but I'd like to hear about it.
- Larry Lawrence: You would?
- Parada: I am simply doing my best to make clear to you that Miss Carter is taking her life in her hands if she goes into the castle tonight.
- Larry Lawrence: You know, that gives me an idea that scares me out of my wits.
- Parada: What?
- Larry Lawrence: I'll go there first.
- Parada: You are a brave man.
- Larry Lawrence: Me? No, my nerves are the break-away kind. I've got rabbit blood in me. Why, do you know what's liable to happen if I see a ghost there tonight?
- Parada: No.
- Larry Lawrence: I'd be so scared I'd probably take a shot at it... Won't I feel silly shooting ghosts?
- Larry Lawrence: Don't move, and above all, don' t scream. If there's going to be any hysterics around here, I'll have 'em!
- Larry Lawrence: [to Alex] Oh, you look like a black out in a blackout. This keeps up, I'm gonna have to paint you white.
- Larry Lawrence: Me, I'm mentally retarded. I'm still 11 years old when it comes to the 4th of July, circuses and haunted castles.
- Alex: What's all the commotion about?
- Police Officer: Unknown man shot on the 14th floor...
- Alex: He ain't unknown to me!
- Raspy Kelly: They don't mind a little publicity. They kinda like it.
- Larry Lawrence: I know. I plug them, and they'll plug me.
- Larry Lawrence: If that's Raspy Kelly, I owe him some money.
- Alex: Well, from the tone of his infections, you better pay him.
- Larry Lawrence: You're bleached!
- Alex: No, I ain't, boss. When I get scared, my albino blood shows through.
- [first lines]
- Mary Carter: Hello, operator? Operator? Operator, the lights in my room. What? The lightning? Well, do you suppose you could send up some sort of light? I'm leaving for Cuba tonight and I still have packing to do.
- Larry Lawrence: I'm a ghost breaker.
- Parada: A what?
- Larry Lawrence: Well, you've heard of trust breakers and home breakers? I'm a ghost breaker. I take family skeletons out of the closet and dust them off. I explain mysteries that people don't want explained. I make a nice living, too, chasing ghosts of the past, if you'll pardon the poetic reference.
- Larry Lawrence: Well, what'll you take with your aspirin? Scotch or rye?
- Mary Carter: What are you having?
- Larry Lawrence: I think I'll start with an Old-Fashioned and bring it up to date.
- Mary Carter: Oh, where did you learn to dance so divinely?
- Larry Lawrence: Oh, didn't you know? I used to dance with Sally Rand.
- Mary Carter: Oh.
- Larry Lawrence: It's quite a feather in my cap, too.
- Larry Lawrence: Are you all right?
- Mary Carter: A lot of cold chills are running up and down my back.
- Larry Lawrence: Yeah. They must've run over from mine.
- Larry Lawrence: Well, lovely. I beg your pardon. Are you engaged for this dance, Lady Wimplesnood?
- Mary Carter: Dance?
- Mary Carter: Yes. Lovely party the vice president is giving. Ah, good old vice. Shoot the chassis to me, lassie.
- Mary Carter: [on the phone] Larry, there's somebody outside my window!
- Larry Lawrence: What? Oh, that's only Alex. Yeah, he'll be there all night and I'll be there all day. We tossed a coin for the night shift and I lost.
- Larry Lawrence: Honest, Mary, I just love murder mysteries. Ever since I was a little shaver. Before I started to shave even.
- Mary Carter: Are you sure you should stay on board?
- Larry Lawrence: Oh, I won't be too much trouble. Just one meal a day and put me out for a few minutes at night and in the morning.
- Mary Carter: Gesundheit.
- Raspy Kelly: What'd you say, boss?
- Mary Carter: I always say "Gesundheit" when anybody sneezes.
- Raspy Kelly: I didn't sneeze. I ain't got the strength.
- Mary Carter: You didn't sneeze? Well, if you didn't sneeze and I didn't sneeze, something smells around here.
- Raspy Kelly: It ain't fried chicken.
- Havez: The lights are out all over the city. New York has had many storms, but never has the whole place gone dark. It's very strange.
- Mary Carter: Exciting, isn't it.
- Larry Lawrence: Tomorrow we'll be up in those trout streams.
- Alex: Don't forget your muffler.
- Larry Lawrence: Ah, that's the life. Those great open spaces, fresh mountain air. Go to the window at six o'clock in the morning, open it, climb in and go to bed. Ah, life, love and the pursuit of happiness.
- [storm rages outside]
- Larry Lawrence: Remember that redhead in Poughkeepsie?
- Alex: I is coming, boss. Oh. Thunder and lightning going. What a night and ain't nobody don't want me.
- Larry Lawrence: And now, ladies and gentlemen, you jive hounds of the java, I bid you good night and goodbye.