Top Secret Affair

With the powerful energy and sex appeal present in both Kirk Douglas and Susan Hayward, isn't it strange that when they finally made a movie together, it was a comedy? It's an oddball comedy, a supposed battle of the sexes that doesn't really hit the mark of any target, but if you want to see both their energies up on the silver screen together, you've got to rent it.

Kirk is a war hero, a general up for a big promotion. Suzy is a journalist, in charge of a great deal of publicity (good or bad) in the country. She doesn't know him and doesn't like him, and she plans to turn a seemingly harmless interview into a damning reputation crusher. Kirk arrives at her house with his faithful sidekicks, Paul Stewart and Jim Backus, and his precise regime of eating, exercise, bedtime, and moral etiquette immediately irritate Suzy. What does she do when she realizes there's no legitimate dirt to find? She forgets she's a journalist and remembers she's a woman; in other words, she fights dirty.

Even though this is far from a romantic comedy, some naughty bits made it through the censors and amused audiences. In order to be alone with him, Suzy says she gets "inhibited with more than one man in the bedroom," effectively sending Jim and Paul away. When she's particularly mad, Kirk reminds her she can't yet make good on her threat to kill him, because "generals die in bed," and in that scene they're nowhere near a bedroom. There were some funny moments, and some more dramatic moments, but all in all it felt like a waste of their talents. Since we all know they're capable of making better movies, have one of your favorites on hand for next weekend.