La Petite Boutique des horreurs (1960)

Jonathan Haze: Seymour Krelborn

Photos 

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Quotes 

• [Seymour walks into the shop holding a bag with Dr. Farb's corpse in it] 

  Audrey Jr. : Feed me!

  Seymour : Aw, take it easy, Dracula. What do you think I'm carrying here, my dirty laundry?

• Leonora Clyde : Speak for yourself, John.

  [Seymour snaps out of his trance] 

  Seymour : My name is Seymour.

  Leonora Clyde : [mockingly]  My name is Seymour!

  Seymour : That's my name, too!

• [Seymour is impersonating Dr. Farb to a new patient] 

  Wilbur Force : My name is Wilbur Force.

  Seymour : Wilbur Force what?

  Wilbur Force : Just Wilbur Force. My first name is Wilbur, my last name is Force. I don't have a middle name.

  Seymour : Well, do you have an appointment, maybe?

  Wilbur Force : No, but you were very highly recommended to me by one of your patients, a Mrs. S. Shiva. I do a lot of undertaking for her relatives.

  Seymour : Well, as you can see I have a customer now. And I'm all booked up for the rest of the day, so you'll have to come back tomorrow.

  Wilbur Force : Oh, I couldn't do that. I have three or four abscesses, I touch of pyorrhea, nine or ten cavities, I lost my pivot tooth, and I'm in terrible pain!

  Seymour : Well I can't help you today.

  Wilbur Force : Oh, that's all right. I'll just wait outside.

• Seymour : Don't waste your pity on me, Audrey. I'm not worth it.

  Audrey : Who says you're not?

  Seymour : Everybody.

  Audrey : Yeah, I know.

• Seymour : You mean I'm fired?

  Mushnick : No, I'm electing you President from the United States! *Yes*, you are fired!

• [repeated line] 

  Seymour : I didn't mean it!

• Seymour : I didn't mean it.

  Mushnick : You didn't mean it. You never mean it. You didn't mean it the time when you put up the bouquet with the 'get well' card in the funeral parlor, and sent the black lilies to the old lady in the hospital, you didn't mean it. But this time, I, Gravis Mushnick, mean it!

  Fouch : [to Seymour]  He means it.

• Audrey : Why don't you give him a chance to resurrect himself?

  Mushnick : I give him chance to quit!

  Seymour : I ain't gonna quit!

  Mushnick : You're a brave boy, you're fired.

• [a patient has just ran out of Farb's office screaming] 

  Dr. Phoebus Farb : Seymour, Seymour, got a bad tooth, huh?

  Seymour : [frightened; turns around to leave]  No, I thought this was the men's room.

  Dr. Phoebus Farb : Seymour, come back here, you bad dog, you, get in there!

  [Farb grabs Seymour and pushes him into his office] 

• Seymour : This is gonna hurt you more than it is me.

  Wilbur Force : Oh, goody, goody. Here it comes.

• Audrey : Don't worry, you're gonna be another Luther Glendale.

  Seymour : Pasadena.

  Audrey : Burbank.

• Leonora Clyde : What's the matter? Don't you like me?

  Seymour : Too bony.

  Leonora Clyde : Too bony? Nobody's ever told me that before.

  Seymour : Beef is better than veal.

  [she stands up] 

  Leonora Clyde : You're such a do-do! What do you call this, chopped liver?

  [he pokes her side] 

  Seymour : Master would like more fat.

• [repeated line] 

  Seymour : Oh boy!

• Seymour : Did you call me, Mr. Mushnick?

  Mushnick : No, I was calling John D. Rockefeller for to make a loan on my Rolls Royce!

  Seymour : Sorry I said it.

• Mushnick : Who... I mean... what did it eat this time?

  Seymour : Uh... about a million Japanese beetles.

• Mushnick : You have perhaps an explanation?

  Seymour : No, but if you give me a minute I'll think of one.

• [last lines] 

  Winifred : SEYMOUR?

  Seymour : I didn't mean it!

• Seymour : Look, Ma, I've gotta go. Can I bring you anything?

  Winifred : Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring me the Evening News. They're running a self-diagnosis contest The winner gets to go the Mayo Clinic.

• Seymour : It's this tooth, over here.

  Dr. Phoebus Farb : Seymour, who's the dentist here, you or me?

• Wilbur Force : I'd almost rather go to the dentist than anywhere, wouldn't you?

  Seymour : Yeah.

  Wilbur Force : Now, no novocaine. It dulls the senses.

• Winifred : She's out after your money.

  Seymour : I don't have any money.

  Winifred : Oh, she's a smart one. She'll latch onto ya until you get some, and then goodbye fortune.

• Seymour : But Audrey's an honest girl, ma.

  Winifred : Ya never trust a woman who's too healthy.

• Audrey : What kind of a plant is this, Seymour?

  Seymour : Well, I'm not sure. I got the seeds from a Japanese gardener over on Central Avenue. He found them in with an order he got from a plantation next to a cranberry farm.

• Winifred : Did you stop at Dr. Mallard's and get the results of my tests?

  Seymour : Yeah. He said there's nothing wrong with ya.

  Winifred : Ah, not Dr. Mallard! He... He's one doctor I thought would tell the truth.

  Seymour : He said you should be playing fullback for the Rams.

  Winifred : He wants me dead! I'll bet he's Assistant Coroner.

• Winifred : Here you are. Now try.

  Audrey : Sure smells different.

  Winifred : It's different.

  Audrey : Some kind of oil, isn't it?

  Winifred : Cod liver oil. Wonderful for the colon.

  Seymour : And that's sulphur powder on top.

• Seymour : [after getting dumped by Audrey, for which Audrey Jr. is responsible]  I'm getting pretty tired of you.

  Audrey Jr. : [oblivious to Seymour's situation]  I need food!

  Seymour : I don't care what you need. Look what you done to me, you not only made a butcher out of me but you drove my girl away.

  Audrey Jr. : [completely rude]  Shut up and bring on the food!

  Seymour : [fed up with the plant's selfish rudeness]  Don't tell me to shut up - YOU shut up! Who raised you from a bunch of little seeds? Who fed you all them high-class fertilizers and sat up with you when you were sick? Nodody else would have done that for you. You think anybody else would have brought you human beings to eat?

  Audrey Jr. : [appalled that Seymour has just dared to talk back to him]  Damn right, they wouldn't.

  Seymour : Well, I've helped you and you've helped me. Now shut your trap and go to sleep. I'm tired.

  Audrey Jr. : [still not taking no for answer, Jr. starts to hypnotize him]  Krelborn! Turn around! Close your eyes. You are asleep. Open your eyes. Now you will do as I say. Will you follow me?

  Seymour : Yes, master.

  Audrey Jr. : You will go out and find me some food!

  Seymour : Yes, master.

  Audrey Jr. : Now begone. And waste no time.

• Seymour : I gave it a name.

  Mushnick : What name?

  Seymour : Aw, gee...

  Mushnick : What? You gave it a dirty name that you can't even mention it?

  Seymour : Well... I named it Audrey Jr.

  Audrey : [excited]  You named it after me!

• Mushnick : Look, Audrey. Isn't he beautiful? Isn't he delicious? Isn't he got a $2 raise? What happened to your fingers?

  Seymour : Bee stings. Oh, so how come I am all of a sudden so wonderful?

  Mushnick : Five bees, one for each finger?

  Seymour : [hold up both hands]  Ten bees.

• Seymour : Ain't it something?

  Audrey : It's - it's monstrosinous!

• Seymour : Oh, boy, you kiss *good*, Audrey.

  Audrey : Well, I guess I just have a good kisser.

• Fouch : Look, I've eaten in flower shops all over the world. And I've noticed that the places that have the most weird and unusual plants do the best business.

  Audrey : See?

  Seymour : See?

  Mrs. Shiva : See?

  Mushnick : What is this, a tango?

• Seymour : It's a cross between a butterworth and a venus flytrap.

  Mushnick : Venus flytrap! And what are the habbits of this Venus flytrap?

  Seymour : Well, the book says it eats insects. It eats them three times in it's life - and then it's full grown.

  Mushnick : Excellent! And how many times is this one eat?

  Seymour : Well, once or twice.

  Mushnick : You don't remember?

  Seymour : Well, this is kind of an unusual type flytrap.

• Seymour : [to Audrey, Jr]  Oh, gee. You opened up just like you do every night at sunset. I wish I knew how to make you grow. Here, let me move this out of your way so you can breathe.

  [accidentally pricks his finger] 

  Seymour : Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow! Hey, what happened? How come you woke up? Blood? You like blood? You must be kidding.

• Audrey : I think you're a fine figurative of a man, and - and I know that Audrey Jr. will be the sweetest thing in the whole, wide world!

  Seymour : Well, I don't know. I've given it every kind of fancy fertilizer and atomic plant food and distilled mineral water that you can buy; but, it just gets sicker and sicker.

• Seymour : What's the matter little plant? Haven't I done everything I could for you? Where did I goof? You're the first little plant I ever tried to grow, and if you die, I dunno what I'll do! Please don't die.

• Mushnick : I want to talk on you about the future. Look on this fly trap. Look on it. Soon we got no more Skid Row. We will be rich. Us. I am building for you, a giant greenhouse in which you are making impossible flowers, which in turn I am selling at ridiculous prices in my giant new flower saloon in Beverly Hills. Do you see that big sign in the sky? It is saying, "Gravis Mushnick", in French.

  Audrey : Isn't it exciting? And we'll have an orchestra right by the cash register, and Gravis will wave his arms and the orchestra will play Mendelssohn's Spring Song. I'll come out in a gown, wrapped by somebody expensive and say...

  Mushnick : "The carnations are 600 dollars a dozen, two dozen for a thousand!"

  Seymour : It's a bargain!

  Audrey : Get 'em while they last!

• Audrey Jr. : Feed me!

  Seymour : I am sorry, pal. I am fresh out of blood. Talk to somebody else.

• Audrey Jr. : Feed me!

  Seymour : Look, chow-hound. Don't bother me. I got problems of my own.

• Seymour : Gee, Audrey. You don't have to kiss me.

  Audrey : Don't you like me to kiss you?

  Seymour : Yeah, but, you don't like to kiss me.

  Audrey : Why shouldn't I?

  Seymour : Nobody else ever did.

  Audrey : Well, I do like to.

  Seymour : You do? You really do? You like to kiss me?

  Audrey : Sure, I do.

  Seymour : Would - would you like to kiss me again?

  Audrey : Okay.

• Winifred : You thinkin' to get married?

  Audrey : He hasn't asked me yet.

  Winifred : Who hasn't?

  Audrey : Seymour.

  Winifred : Seymour's too young to get married. Look here. A boy's got to go and play around a little bit. Go out on the makin'. Have a ball.

  Seymour : Gee, Ma. I don't wanna have a ball. I wanna be with Audrey.

• Seymour : I don't think there gonna be will be any more, Miss, uh...

  Mrs. Hortense Feuchtwanger : Feuchtwanger. Mrs Hortense Feuchtwanger.

  Seymour : I think this is gonna be the only one, Mrs. Fishswinger.

  Mrs. Hortense Feuchtwanger : Feuchtwanger.

  Seymour : Feuchtwanger?

• Audrey : Seymour, do you feel all right?

  Seymour : Well, I don't know. I'm not sure.

  Audrey : Well, then stop all this nonsense and kiss me.

• Winifred : You promised you wouldn't get married until you bought me an iron lung.

  Seymour : You've been breathing for years, Ma.

  Winifred : Well, it ain't easy. It ain't easy, son.

• Winifred : Why don't you get yourself a real female with something decent like pneumonoconiosis, or - or gall stones?

  Seymour : Well, maybe she could catch something like that.

  Winifred : The only thing she'll catch is you. And she'll take you off to some shady sanatorium and leave me to chiropractors and faith healers. I know when I'm not wanted.

• Seymour : [singing while feeding a severed foot to Audrey Jr.]  Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la-la!