- Mike Edwards: Hey kid, how would you like to kick me in the shin?
- Boy: How would I like to kick you in the shin?
- Mike Edwards: Uhum.
- Boy: Mister are you drunk?
- Mike Edwards: No. I'll tell you what, if you kick me in the shin I'll give you a quarter, here.
- [Gives the boy a quarter and the boy kicks him]
- Mike Edwards: [in pain] Yeoww! That's good! Thanks kid.
- [limps off]
- Boy: [shaking his head] Adults, they're all nuts!
- Henry Johnson: [walks in on Dorothy and Mike "relaxing" on the couch] Well?
- Dorothy Johnson: Well, you're home early.
- Henry Johnson: I'd say we got home just in time!
- Emma Johnson: I hope!
- Mike Edwards: We were just going to have some iced tea. Would you like to join us?
- Henry Johnson: Get me my gun, Emma.
- Mike Edwards: And if you don't like iced tea, I can go get some beer.
- Henry Johnson: I said to get my gun!
- Danny Burke: You didn't tell me she was put together like that!
- Mike Edwards: Can't you tell a nice girl when you meet one?
- Danny Burke: Oh oh! Now he's a cub scout. What happened, somebody steal your wolf whistle?
- Mike Edwards: When I was all alone up in the blue with Bessie, I just didn't feel the need for anybody else.
- Diane Warren: "Bessie"?
- Mike Edwards: She's my airplane.
- Diane Warren: Oh, you're a flyer?
- Mike Edwards: Yeah. 9,000 hours in the air. 8,000 with a plane.
- Diane Warren: There is *nothing* in either eye.
- Mike Edwards: Well, maybe it's right in the middle, just passing under my nose, and going from one eye to the other?
- Diane Warren: I'm afraid that would be medically impossible.
- Mike Edwards: Well, you can't tell. Science is making new discoveries every day.
- Diane Warren: Yes. And it's too bad they haven't come up with a wolf repellant!
- Mike Edwards: My name is Mike Edwards. I'd like to start over again, Miss Warren.
- Diane Warren: The only thing that I want you to start, Mr. Edwards, is *out*!
- Mike Edwards: Look, I know I have a tendency to press, but it's a personality flaw. Basically, I'm not a bad guy, really.
- Diane Warren: Do you want me to call the guard?
- Mike Edwards: I like it better with just the two of us.
- Mike Edwards: Diane, believe me, the kid is an absolute stranger!
- Diane Warren: And you're an absolute liar!... As far as I'm concerned, you can go back up the Space Needle and jump off!
- Danny Burke: You going to give up flying?
- Mike Edwards: Well, not exactly. I've been thinking about signing up for something in the Space Program.
- Danny Burke: Space! Beautiful! You'd be perfect for it - you got a head full of it!
- Second Attendant: [Mike brings Sue Lin to the nurse's station] Good heavens, what's the matter?
- Sue Lin: I got a stomach ache.
- Mike Edwards: She kinda' went overboard on the groceries, ma'am. I'm afraid it's my fault.
- Second Attendant: That's generally the case. Are you all right?
- Mike Edwards: Oh, sure. My stomach went through 3 years in the Army, ha ha.
- [the nurse is not amused]
- Mike Edwards: [singing] Don't know where I'm going, Don't know where it ends, Till the grass is greener, beyond the bend...
- Dorothy Johnson: [kissing on the couch] Please, Mike, I think I better make us some iced tea.
- Mike Edwards: Cool down, honey. You're like a fluttering bird.
- [kiss]
- Dorothy Johnson: I really ought to go and see about that iced tea.
- Mike Edwards: Honey, you're going to have a seizure carrying on like this.
- Dorothy Johnson: I am?
- Mike Edwards: Sure. Racing that sweet little motor of yours on a warm day.
- Danny Burke: Look, you spend all your dough on dolls and duds. What's that supposed to mean? Penance?
- Mike Edwards: Well, at least I've still got the duds, now, about the dolls, it's a different story.
- Danny Burke: I know, you're makin' a scalp collection.
- Mike Edwards: [looking in his little black book] Now, let's see. Anne, Betty, Claudette - Dorothy. Thirty-eight, Twenty-... . Maple Street.
- Mike Edwards: [singing] I wanna see everything, do everything, While we're doin' it all, I'll buy the peanuts and popcorn, We'll have us a ball...
- Mike Edwards: [singing] Relax... mmmmm... .let loose... mmmm... defrost... .mmmmm... .mmmmm... .
- [kiss]
- Mike Edwards: [singing] Cut loose, let your hair down honey, Unwind, turn the lights down low, Relax, let's uncork the stopper, Come to papa, come on let's go...
- Danny Burke: What tears you away from a Pinochle game? A couple of desperados headed this way?
- Sheriff Garland: Nope. Just a couple of deadbeats.
- Mike Edwards: Well, I sure hope you find 'em.
- Sheriff Garland: I just did.
- Mike Edwards: She's the kind that might go for the sympathy bit.
- Danny Burke: Who?
- Mike Edwards: The nurse I met at the fairgrounds today. Florence Nightingale, servant of humanity, and all that jazz.
- Danny Burke: The rabbit hunter rides again. Some doll gives him the brush and right away its a challenge.
- Mike Edwards: I'll tell her she's keeping me up at nights. Ruining my health. Breaking my heart.
- Danny Burke: She'll probably hand you a pill.
- Danny Burke: What happened?
- Mike Edwards: You're probably gonna laugh yourself to death when I tell you. I ran into this girl today.
- Danny Burke: Flash! He ran into a girl. Today!
- Mike Edwards: Yeah, I know, I know. But, this girl is - I must be flippin' my lid. She's not even my type.
- Danny Burke: You mean like aloof?
- Mike Edwards: Worse. Chilly! Ice cold!
- Danny Burke: Well, they all have to be room temperature, right?
- Mike Edwards: Right.
- Mike Edwards: You'd be surprised, Danny. Some women love to think that they can destroy you.
- Danny Burke: And do.
- Mike Edwards: Oh boy, and I had to fall for her. A dame that likes to go around making everyone's decisions for them. She must think she's got the only brain in town!
- Lily: Two bourbons on the rocks for table three.
- [Danny walks up and spanks her behind]
- Lily: Danny Burke!
- Danny Burke: Hi ya, gumdrop!
- Lily: [Danny asks Lily for a favor] You name it, Danny.
- Danny Burke: I'll do that, doll face.
- Lily: See you later.
- [Danny spanks her behind]
- Lily: Danny!
- Danny Burke: Say, I forgot the name of the mouse at the bar.
- Vince Bradley: Oh, Lily.
- Danny Burke: Lily, yeah.
- Mike Edwards: [singing] I think that you can play the part, And give a guy, a happy heaaaaAAAAaaart, Happy ending...
- Diane Warren: Happy ending!
- Mike Edwards, Diane Warren: Give me a story with a, Happy ending...
- Mike Edwards: Tell me some more about this space program.
- Diane Warren: All right. Are you really a pilot?
- Mike Edwards: Sure.
- Diane Warren: Well, the space program has a lot of jobs that a pilot can qualify for.
- Mike Edwards: I might just look into that. You know, there may come a time when we'll remember this as the day that I started out with a broken leg and, thanks to you, ended up strapped in a nose cone.
Contribute to this page
Suggest an edit or add missing content
Top Gap
By what name was It Happened at the World's Fair (1963) officially released in India in English?
Answer