Un monde fou, fou, fou, fou (1963)
Mickey Rooney: Ding Bell
Photos
Quotes
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Benjy Benjamin : Look! We've figured it seventeen different ways, and every time we figured it, it was no good, because no matter how we figured it, somebody don't like the way we figured it! So now, there's only one way to figure it. And that is, every man, including the old bag, for himself!
Ding Bell : So good luck, and may the best man win!
Benjy Benjamin : [to Mrs. Marcus] Right! Except you,lady. May you just drop dead!
Lennie Pike : All right, all right, we all agree on that. Now look, let's be sensible about this thing. There's money in this for all of us. Right? There's enough for you, there's enough for you, and for me, and for you, and there's enough for...
[they all race to their cars]
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Tyler Fitzgerald : You know what I need? I need a drink. There's some ice and stuff back there. Why don't you make us all some old fashioneds?
Ding Bell : "Old Fashions"? Do you think you oughta drink while you're flying?
Tyler Fitzgerald : Well stop kidding, will ya, and make us some drinks! You just press the button back there marked "booze". It's the only way to fly!
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Tyler Fitzgerald : Uh... Just a minute. I... I cahhn't see.
Ding Bell : What?
Tyler Fitzgerald : Something's happened to my eyes. I-I-I cahhn't - I cahhn't see.
Ding Bell : You cahhn't see? He cahhn't see.
Benjy Benjamin : Must be an eye cold.
Tyler Fitzgerald : George! George!
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Benjy Benjamin : Wall?
Ding Bell : No.
Benjy Benjamin : Walnut tree?
Ding Bell : No, no.
Benjy Benjamin : Walnuts?
Ding Bell : No.
Benjy Benjamin : In bags?
Ding Bell : *No*!
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Air Traffic Control Tower Staffer : If you can, give us your position. Who is flying the plane?
Ding Bell : [Benji is at the controls] What do you mean "who's flying the plane"? Nobody's flying the plane!
[Benji scowls at Ding]
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Ding Bell : Hey. It's that hokey dentist.
Benjy Benjamin : Yeah.
Ding Bell : Pass that cab.
Second Cab Driver : What's the rush?
Ding Bell : What do you mean rush?
Benjy Benjamin : We ain't in any rush, we just wanna get there in a hurry.
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Ding Bell : Ah, this is hopeless. We're gonna get noplace if we're gonna continue listening to this old bag.
Benjy Benjamin : What are you trying to do, lady? You trying to split us up so it becomes every man for himself?
Ding Bell : ...And every woman for HIMself?
Mrs. Marcus : One more funny remark from you, buster...
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Melville Crump : Filibuster. Filibuster. Ha. Now you can stick around and watch us take off.
Ding Bell : Listen, Dentist: I *hate* dentists! And I hate *you* so much, that I'm not able to *tell* you how much I hate you, in front of your wife-!
Benjy Benjamin : And visa versa.
Melville Crump : [enraged] Why you... Come on over here!
[Ding and Benji run]
Melville Crump : *Come on* over *here*!
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Benjy Benjamin : [while Benji tries to fly the plane, Ding tries putting head phones on Benji's head] Hey, get outta here.
Ding Bell : Put them on.
Benjy Benjamin : I don't wanna.
Ding Bell : Benji, I tell you, he said the man who's flying should be talking on this thing.
Benjy Benjamin : What, am I supposed to everything? You want me to fly the airplane, you want me to work the radio, what are you gonna... What are you, the hostess?
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Benjy Benjamin : [in a hospital in bandages and casts] It's all your fault. It's all your fault right from the beginning to the end.
J. Algernon Hawthorne : You know, even for a policeman, your behavior was ruddy outrageous.
Sylvester Marcus : Yeah, you could have taken a fair share like the rest of us, but no. You had to go and wrap up the whole scene, baby.
Ding Bell : We had three hundred and fifty-thousand bucks right in our hands.
Melville Crump : Fourteen into three hundred and fifty-thousand dollars...
Ding Bell : [groans] Oh, shut up!
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Ding Bell : You see our grandmother lives in Rosita Beach, see, and she's dying and she kinda like to have us be with her when she goes.
Benjy Benjamin : Otherwise she won't go.
Benjy Benjamin : [after Bell bumps him] Uh, she'll go!
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Mrs. Marcus : You're overlooking one little thing.
J. Russell Finch : Yeah, one little thing.
Ding Bell : What little thing?
J. Russell Finch : Yeah, what little thing?
Mrs. Marcus : We can all count, can't we? There were eight of us there.
J. Russell Finch : She's right. There were eigt of us there.
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[first lines]
J. Russell Finch : [as all the cars pull over one by one, the men quickly jump out in shock at having just witnessed Smiler Grogan pass them recklessly fast, careen off the side of the hilly road, and terribly crash down below] Whoa! Hey d-did ya see it, the way he went sailing right out there? D-d he just went *sailing* right out there.
Melville Crump : It was terrible, I m-a-mean just terrible. He musta been doin' over eighty ya know.
J. Russell Finch : An ambulance - we better, we oughta call an ambulance.
Ding Bell : Oh... oh look at that car.
J. Russell Finch : [the group starts bickering and talking over one another] He went sailing right out there.
Ding Bell : How 'bout you doin' ninety miles an hour?
J. Russell Finch : I wasn't doin' - he was passin' me.
Ding Bell : We weren't standin' still when he passed us...
J. Russell Finch : I never saw such a crazy guy in my life!...
Lennie Pike : Come on, let's get down there!
[the group immediately starts scrambling down the rocky hill]
J. Russell Finch : [to Emmeline and Mrs. Marcus] W... we're gonna go down there, you stay in the car.
Emmeline Finch : Now Russell be careful, remember your condition.
Mrs. Marcus : [gestures her hand with disdain] Eh.
J. Russell Finch : [to himself] Ooh, boy the way he just *sailed* out there.
[Finch follows down after the group]
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Melville Crump : Speaking for my wife and myself, we'd be just as happy with...
Ding Bell : You'd be perfectly happy with two-eighths instead of a quarter? Awfully big of you.
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Melville Crump : The man said there was a certain amount of money buried down in this park.
Lennie Pike : That's right. It was under a big W. Say what is a big W?
Ding Bell : If we find out, we'll send you a wire.
Melville Crump : It's only a possibility now, it's only a possibility that this man was telling the truth. And if it was the truth, then it is a fact that this place is almost two hundred miles away. Now I suggest that we quietly get into our cars and drive down there at a safe, sound speed, keeping each other in sight of each other. And then when we get down there, we dig up the money - providing there is some money there. And if we do find it, we share it amongst us in a simple manner.
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Smiler Grogan : Aunt Belle, I didn't mean to do it!
Lennie Pike : Holy mackerel, take it easy, mister!
J. Russell Finch : Easy!
Smiler Grogan : Please! Please say it don't make any difference, Aunt Belle! Please! You gotta say! You gotta tell me it don't make any difference!
Ding Bell : For heaven's sake, tell him.
Melville Crump : It - It don't make any difference.
[Smiler Grogan kicks the bucket - literally]
Lennie Pike : That guy is dead. You better believe it.
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Lennie Pike : It's buried under a big W. Say, what is a big W?
Ding Bell : When we find out, we'll send you a 'Wire'.
Benjy Benjamin : Ha ha ha ha ha ha.