- Benjamin: Oh, my God!
- Mrs. Robinson: Pardon?
- Benjamin: Oh no, Mrs. Robinson. Oh no.
- Mrs. Robinson: What's wrong?
- Benjamin: Mrs. Robinson, you didn't... I mean, you didn't expect...
- Mrs. Robinson: What?
- Benjamin: I mean, you didn't really think I'd do something like THAT.
- Mrs. Robinson: Like what?
- Benjamin: What do you think?
- Mrs. Robinson: Well, I don't know.
- Benjamin: For God's sake, Mrs. Robinson. Here we are. You got me into your house. You give me a drink. You... put on music. Now, you start opening up your personal life to me and tell me your husband won't be home for hours.
- Mrs. Robinson: So?
- Benjamin: Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me!
- Mrs. Robinson: [laughs] Huh?
- Benjamin: Aren't you?
- Mrs. Robinson: Benjamin.
- Benjamin: Yes?
- Mrs. Robinson: Isn't there something you want to tell me?
- Benjamin: Tell you?
- Mrs. Robinson: Yes.
- Benjamin: Well, I want you to know how much I appreciate this. Really.
- Mrs. Robinson: The number.
- Benjamin: What?
- Mrs. Robinson: The room number, Benjamin. I think you ought to tell me that.
- Benjamin: Oh, you're absolutely right. It's 568.
- Mrs. Robinson: Thank you.
- Benjamin: You're welcome. Well... I'll see you later, Mrs. Robinson.
- Mr. Braddock: Ben, what are you doing?
- Benjamin: Well, I would say that I'm just drifting. Here in the pool.
- Mr. Braddock: Why?
- Benjamin: Well, it's very comfortable just to drift here.
- Mr. Braddock: Have you thought about graduate school?
- Benjamin: No.
- Mr. Braddock: Would you mind telling me then what those four years of college were for? What was the point of all that hard work?
- Benjamin: You got me.
- Mr. McGuire: I just want to say one word to you. Just one word.
- Benjamin: Yes, sir.
- Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
- Benjamin: Yes, I am.
- Mr. McGuire: Plastics.
- Benjamin: Exactly how do you mean?
- Mr. McGuire: There's a great future in plastics. Think about it. Will you think about it?
- Benjamin: Mrs. Robinson, I can't do this anymore.
- Mrs. Robinson: You what?
- Benjamin: This is all terribly wrong.
- Mrs. Robinson: Do you find me undesirable?
- Benjamin: Oh no, Mrs. Robinson. I think, I think you're the most *attractive* of all my parents' friends. I mean that. I find you desirable.
- Room Clerk: Are you here for an affair, sir?
- Benjamin: What?
- Room Clerk: The Singleman party, sir?
- Benjamin: Ah, yes, the Singleman party.
- Benjamin: I've had this feeling ever since I've graduated, this kind of compulsion that I have to be rude all the time, you know what I mean?
- Elaine: Yes, I do.
- Benjamin: It's like I've been playing some kind of game, but the rules don't make any sense to me. They're being made up by all the wrong people. No. I mean, no one makes them up. They seem to have made themselves up.
- [Mrs. Robinson comes into Elaine's room, naked, and locks the door with Benjamin inside with her]
- Benjamin: Oh God. Oh, let me out.
- Mrs. Robinson: Don't be nervous.
- Benjamin: Get away from that door.
- Mrs. Robinson: I want to say something first.
- Benjamin: Jesus Christ.
- Mrs. Robinson: Benjamin, I want you to know that I'm available to you, and if you won't sleep with me this time...
- Benjamin: Oh, my Christ.
- Mrs. Robinson: If you won't sleep with me this time I want you to know that you can call me up anytime you want and we'll make some kind of arrangement.
- Benjamin: Oh...
- Mrs. Robinson: Do you understand what I...
- Benjamin: Let me out.
- Mrs. Robinson: Benjamin, do you understand what I just said?
- Benjamin: Yes! Yes. Let me out!
- Mrs. Robinson: I find you very attractive.
- Mrs. Robinson: Benjamin, I am not trying to seduce you.
- Benjamin: I know that, but please, Mrs. Robinson, this is difficult...
- Mrs. Robinson: Would you like me to seduce you?
- Benjamin: What?
- Mrs. Robinson: Is that what you're trying to tell me?
- Benjamin: I'm going home now. I apologize for what I said. I hope you can forget it, but I'm going home right now.
- Benjamin: [It's morning. Mr. Braddock is in the kitchen. Ben walks in] I'm going to marry Elaine Robinson.
- Mr. Braddock: Well, well, well!
- [He almost giggles as he crosses to Ben and takes his hand to shake it. Mrs. Braddock appears in the doorway]
- Mrs. Braddock: What's happening
- Mr. Braddock: Ben says he and Elaine are getting married.
- Mrs. Braddock: [screams for joy] I don't believe it.
- Mr. Braddock: That what he says. Right?
- Benjamin: I'm going up to Berkeley today.
- Mrs. Braddock: Oh, Ben. This is so exciting.
- Mr. Braddock: Come on, let's call the Robinsons. We've got something to celebrate.
- Benjamin: No. I think you'll want to wait on that.
- Mr. Braddock: They don't know?
- Benjamin: No, they don't.
- Mr. Braddock: Well, when did you decide all this?
- Benjamin: About an hour ago.
- Mr. Braddock: Wait a minute. You talked to Elaine this morning?
- Benjamin: No. She doesn't know about it.
- Mr. Braddock: She doesn't know that you're coming up to Berkeley?
- Benjamin: No. Actually, she doesn't know about us getting married yet.
- Mr. Braddock: When did you two talk this over?
- Benjamin: We haven't.
- Mr. Braddock: Ben, this whole idea sounds pretty half-baked.
- Benjamin: No, it's not, Dad. It's completely baked. It's a decision I've made.
- Mrs. Braddock: But what makes you think she wants to marry you?
- Benjamin: [Ben picks up his suitcase, walks to the door] She doesn't. To be perfectly honest, she doesn't like me.
- Mrs. Braddock: What makes you think she wants to marry you?
- Benjamin: Oh, she doesn't. To be perfectly honest, she doesn't like me.
- Mr. Braddock: Hey, what's the matter? The guests are all downstairs, Ben, waiting to see you.
- Benjamin: Look, Dad, could you explain to them that I have to be alone for a while?
- Mr. Braddock: These are all our good friends, Ben. Most of them have known you since, well, practically since you were born. What is it, Ben?
- Benjamin: I'm just...
- Mr. Braddock: Worried?
- Benjamin: Well...
- Mr. Braddock: About what?
- Benjamin: I guess about my future.
- Mr. Braddock: What about it?
- Benjamin: I don't know. I want it to be...
- Mr. Braddock: To be what?
- Benjamin: [looks at his father] ... Different.
- [Offering Mrs. Robinson a coat hanger]
- Benjamin: Wood?
- Mrs. Robinson: What?
- Benjamin: Wood or wire? They have both.
- Elaine: Benjamin, I would like to know what you're doing here.
- Benjamin: Here? In Berkeley?
- Elaine: Yes.
- Benjamin: Well, I have this very pleasant room on Carter Street, and I've been getting to some classes.
- Elaine: But you're not enrolled.
- Benjamin: No, I just sit in. They don't seem to mind. They've been very congenial about it.
- Elaine: [annoyed] Benjamin, you're... I don't know what to say.
- Benjamin: [nonchalantly] Maybe we can get together sometime and talk about it.
- Elaine: [exasperated] Really incredible.
- Benjamin: Mrs. Robinson, if you don't mind my saying so, this conversation is getting a little strange.
- Benjamin: Listen to me. What happened between Mrs. Robinson and me was nothing. It didn't mean anything. We might just as well have been shaking hands.
- Mr. Robinson: Shaking hands? Well, that's not saying much for my wife, is it?
- Mr. McCleery: I like to know who's living in my house. I like to know what my boys are up to.
- Benjamin: I'm not up to much, actually. I'm just visiting. I mean, I've always wanted to see Berkeley.
- Mr. McCleery: You're not one of those agitators?
- Benjamin: What?
- Mr. McCleery: One of those outside agitators?
- Benjamin: Oh, no.
- Mr. McCleery: I hate that. I won't stand for it. I won't stand for that.
- Mr. Robinson: [after Ben has driven Mrs. Robinson home, Mr. Robinson unexpectedly comes home early] Is that Ben's car in front?
- Benjamin: [nervously] Yes, sir. I drove... I drove Mrs. Robinson home. She wanted me to drive her home so I drove her home.
- Mr. Robinson: Swell. I appreciate.
- Benjamin: She's upstairs. She wanted me to wait down here till you got home.
- Mr. Robinson: Standing guard over the old castle, are you?
- Benjamin: Yes, sir.
- Mr. McGuire: [behind Benjamin] Ben.
- Benjamin: [to Joanne] Excuse me.
- [turns]
- Benjamin: Mr. McGuire.
- Mr. McGuire: Ben.
- Benjamin: Mr. McGuire.
- Mr. Robinson: Do you ummm... do you want to tell me *why* you did it
- Benjamin: Mr. Robinson!
- Mr. Robinson: Do you have a special grudge against me? Do you feel a particularly strong resentment? Is there something I've said that's caused this contempt, or is it just things I stand for that you despise?
- Gas station attendant: It's six blocks up and... three over.
- [as Ben races out and leaps into the car]
- Gas station attendant: Do you need any gas, Father?
- [the empty fuel gauge fills the screen just as Benjamin drives off]
- Mr. Robinson: All right, come on, let's have a nightcap together.
- Mr. Robinson: [reaches for a bottle] Scotch?
- Benjamin: Bourbon.
- Mr. Robinson: Ben... How old are you now?
- Benjamin: Twenty. I'll be 21 next week.
- Mr. Robinson: [as he fixes drinks for both of them] That's a hell of a good age to be.
- Benjamin: Thank you. Thank you very much, sir.
- Mr. Robinson: I, uh... I wish I was that age again. Because, Ben...
- Benjamin: Sir?
- Mr. Robinson: You'll never be young again.
- Benjamin: I know.
- Mr. Robinson: Ben, can I say something to you?
- Benjamin: What?
- Mr. Robinson: Uh, how long have we known each other now? How long have you and I known each other? How long have your dad and I been partners?
- Benjamin: Quite a while.
- Mr. Robinson: I watched you grow up, Ben.
- Benjamin: Yes, sir.
- Mr. Robinson: In many ways, I feel as though you were my own son.
- Benjamin: Thank you.
- Mr. Robinson: So I hope you won't mind my giving you a friendly piece of advice.
- Benjamin: I'd like to hear it.
- Mr. Robinson: Ben, I think... I think you ought to be taking it a little easier right now than you seem to be. Sow a few wild oats. Take things as they come. Have a good time with the girls and so forth.
- Mrs. Robinson: [Mrs. Robinson joins them; Ben abruptly stands up] Don't get up.
- Mr. Robinson: I was just telling... Ben. Ben, here, that he ought to sow a few wild oats. Have a good time while he can. You think that's sound advice?
- Mrs. Robinson: Yes, I do.
- Benjamin: I've got to go.
- Mr. Robinson: You have yourself a few flings this summer. I bet you're quite a ladies' man, huh?
- Benjamin: Oh, no.
- Mr. Robinson: [taken aback] What?
- Mr. Robinson: You look to me like the kind of guy who has to fight 'em off.
- Mr. Robinson: [to his wife] Now, doesn't he look to you like the kind of guy who has to fight them off?
- Mrs. Robinson: Yes, he does.
- Mrs. Robinson: Benjamin, I thought I made myself perfectly clear about this.
- Benjamin: Look, we'll go out to dinner and have a drink, and I'll bring her right back, because it was either that or a dinner party for the two families, and I'm afraid I couldn't quite handle that, if you don't mind. Look, I have no intention of ever taking your precious daughter out again in her life, so don't get upset about it.
- Mrs. Robinson: I am. I'm *extremely* upset about it, Benjamin.
- Elaine: [Mr. Robinson comes in with Elaine next to him] Hello.
- Benjamin: Hello.
- Mr. Robinson: [playfully giving advice to Elaine about Benjamin] Well, I want you to keep your wits about you tonight. You never know what *tricks* Ben picked up back there in the east. Heh heh...
- Benjamin: Don't talk about Elaine?
- Mrs. Robinson: No.
- Benjamin: Well, why not?
- Mrs. Robinson: Because I don't want you to.
- Benjamin: Well, why don't you? I wish you'd tell me.
- Mrs. Robinson: There's nothing to tell.
- Benjamin: Well, why is she a big taboo subject all of a sudden? Well, I guess I'll have to ask her out on a date and find out what the big deal is.
- Mrs. Robinson: [turns on the lamp] Benjamin...
- Benjamin: Ow!
- Mrs. Robinson: Don't you ever take that girl out! Do you understand me?
- Benjamin: Look, I have no intention of taking her out.
- Mrs. Robinson: Good.
- Benjamin: I was just kidding around.
- Mrs. Robinson: Good.
- Benjamin: But why shouldn't I?
- Mrs. Robinson: I have my reasons.
- Benjamin: Well, let's hear them.
- Mrs. Robinson: No.
- Benjamin: Let's hear them, Mrs. Robinson, because I think I know what they are; I'm not good enough for her to associate with, am I? I'm not good enough to even talk about her, am I?
- Mrs. Robinson: Let's drop it.
- Benjamin: We're not dropping it! I'm good enough for you, but I'm not good enough to associate with your daughter. That's it, isn't it! Isn't it?
- Mrs. Robinson: [lengthy pause] Yes.
- Benjamin: You go to hell! You go straight to hell, Mrs. Robinson! Do you think I'm proud of myself? Do you think I'm proud of this?
- Mrs. Robinson: I wouldn't know.
- Benjamin: Well, I am not! No sir, I am not proud that I spend my time with a broken-down alcoholic!
- Mrs. Robinson: I see.
- Benjamin: And if you think I come here for any reason besides pure boredom, then you're all wrong; because Mrs. Robinson, this is the sickest, most perverted thing in the world that ever happened to me! And you do what you want, but I'm getting the hell out!
- Mrs. Robinson: Are you?
- Benjamin: Goddam right I am!
- Benjamin: Elaine, I like you. I like you so much. Do you believe that? Do you?
- Benjamin: Yes.
- Benjamin: You're the first - you're the first thing for so long that I've liked. The first person I could stand to be with. My whole life is such a waste. It's just nothing. I'm sorry. I'll take you home now.
- Elaine: Benjamin, are you having an affair with someone?
- Benjamin Braddock: [runs into the Robinson's house, up the stairs to Elaine's bedroom] Elaine! Elaine!
- Elaine Robinson: Benjamin?
- Benjamin Braddock: I'm coming up!
- Elaine Robinson: I'm not dressed yet!
- Elaine Robinson: [Ben barges through her bedroom door] Benjamin, I said I wasn't dressed.
- Benjamin Braddock: You've got to go over the back fence, and I'll meet you in the courtyard.
- Elaine Robinson: What's the matter?
- Benjamin Braddock: Hurry, put your shoes on.
- Elaine Robinson: [hysterically] Benjamin, Benjamin!
- Benjamin Braddock: Elaine.
- Elaine Robinson: What are you doing?
- Benjamin Braddock: Elaine, I have to tell you something.
- Elaine Robinson: What is it?
- Benjamin Braddock: That woman...
- Elaine Robinson: What?
- Benjamin Braddock: That woman - that older woman that I told you about?
- Elaine Robinson: You mean that one?
- Benjamin Braddock: Yes, the married woman; that wasn't just some woman.
- Elaine Robinson: What are you telling me? Benjamin, will you just tell me what this is all about?
- [Elaine turns around, and sees her mother, Mrs. Robinson standing in the bedroom doorway; her expression turns to shock]
- Elaine Robinson: Oh, no.
- Benjamin Braddock: Elaine...
- Elaine Robinson: Oh my God.
- Benjamin Braddock: Please.
- Elaine Robinson: Get out of here.
- Benjamin Braddock: Don't cry.
- Elaine Robinson: [screams] Get out! Get out, out! Get out!
- Mrs. Robinson: Goodbye, Benjamin.
- Mrs. Braddock: [Ben is shaving in his bathroom] Oh, my.
- Benjamin: Hi.
- Mrs. Braddock: Hi, can I talk to you for a minute?
- Benjamin: Sure.
- Mrs. Braddock: Benji... darling, I'm, uh... going to ask you something, but you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.
- Benjamin: What?
- Mrs. Braddock: Well, I was going to ask you what you do when you go off at night.
- Benjamin: When I go out?
- Mrs. Braddock: You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to.
- Benjamin: No, I do, i want to tell you: I drive around.
- Mrs. Braddock: What else?
- Benjamin: Nothing else.
- Mrs. Braddock: Well, you don't drive around from midnight til noon the next day, Benjamin?
- Benjamin: Oh, no.
- Mrs. Braddock: Well then, what do you do? Do you meet someone?
- Benjamin: [Benjamin nicks his finger with the razor] Meet someone?
- Mrs. Braddock: Hm.
- Benjamin: Why do you say that?
- Mrs. Braddock: Well, this is your business. I won't play games with you.
- Benjamin: No wait, wait! I don't meet anyone, Mother, but why do you say that?
- Mrs. Braddock: Benjamin, I don't want to pry into your affairs, but I would rather you didn't say anything at all than be dishonest. Good night.
- [Mrs. Braddock leaves]
- Benjamin: Well, wait! Wait a minute!
- Mrs. Singleman: Hello.
- Benjamin: Hello.
- Mrs. Singleman: Oh, you must be one of the porters.
- Benjamin: No, actually, I'm not...
- Mrs. Singleman: Yes, I'd like you to meet my sister, Miss DeWitte.
- Miss DeWitte: How do you do?
- Benjamin: How do you do, Miss DeWitte?
- Mrs. Singleman: And that's my husband, Mr. Singleman.
- [Mr. Singleman holds his hand out in greeting]
- Mr. Singleman: Oh, sorry.
- Geoffrey: Fine, thank you.
- Mrs. Singleman: That's Geoffrey, of course.
- Mr. Singleman: I didn't get your name, sir.
- Benjamin: Benjamin Braddock, sir, but I'm...
- Mrs. Singleman: Braddock? Branham?
- Benjamin: Yes, but I'm afraid I'm...
- Mrs. Singleman: Oh, no no no, I'll find your table in just a moment.
- Mrs. Singleman: [looks through the guest list] Braddock, Braddock, Braddock, not Branham, we have a Branham.
- Benjamin: No, actually, I'm just looking for a friend.
- Mrs. Singleman: Oh, but I don't understand.
- Benjamin: I'm not with your party. I'm sorry.
- Mr. Singleman: Hey, I don't get it.
- Mrs. Singleman: I've enjoyed meeting you, Mr. Braddock.
- Mr. Robinson: [in Ben's boarding house room] All right, now listen to this. I don't know whether I can prosecute, but I think I can. I think I can get you behind bars if you ever *look* at my daughter again. Now, I've seen Elaine, and I've made damn sure you can't get to her. Stay away from me, Ben!
- Mr. Robinson: [heading for the door] I don't want to mince words with you. As far as Elaine is concerned, you're to get her out of your filthy mind right now! Is that *perfectly* clear to you? And that's all, Ben. You'll pardon me if *I* don't shake hands with you.
- Mr. Robinson: I think you are filth. I think you are scum. You are a degenerate!
- [heads down the stairs, brushes past Mr. McCleery]
- [first lines]
- Pilot: Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to begin our descent into Los Angeles. The sound you just heard is the landing gear locking into place. Los Angeles weather is clear; temperature is 72. We expect to make our 4 hour and 18 minute flight on schedule. We have enjoyed having you on board, and look forward to seeing you again in the near future.
- Mr. McCleery: [after the incident with Elaine screaming] I want you out of here.
- Benjamin: What do you mean?
- Mr. McCleery: You heard me - out of here.
- Benjamin: What for?
- Mr. McCleery: Because I don't like you.
- Mrs. Robinson: [gets into Benjamin's car] Drive down the block.
- Benjamin: Mrs. Robinson, Elaine and I have a date, we're going for a drive.
- Mrs. Robinson: [angrily] Do exactly as I say!
- Benjamin: [Ben drives down the block] Now, it seems to me...
- Mrs. Robinson: Listen very carefully to me, Benjamin: You are not to see Elaine again, ever! Those are my orders, is that clear?
- Benjamin: Mrs. Robinson, do you think...
- Mrs. Robinson: I can make things quite unpleasant.
- Benjamin: How?
- Mrs. Robinson: In order to keep Elaine away from you, I'm prepared to tell her everything.
- Benjamin: [Ben stops the car] I don't believe you.
- Mrs. Robinson: [threateningly] Then you better start believing me.
- Benjamin: I just don't believe you would do that.
- Mrs. Robinson: Try me.
- [Ben gets out of the car]
- Benjamin: [a knock on the apartment door as Ben's shaving] Who is it?
- Elaine: [Elaine enters the room] I want to ask you a question, and then I'm going!
- Benjamin: Come in.
- Elaine: No. I want to know why you're here in Berkeley.
- Benjamin: Because... I am.
- Elaine: Is it because I'm here?
- Benjamin: What do you think?
- Elaine: I think it is. I said, "I think it is!"
- Benjamin: All right, then yes.
- Elaine: Well, I want you to leave.
- Benjamin: Well, look, I love you!
- Elaine: How could you do that, Benjamin? Do you just hate everything? How could you possibly rape my mother?
- Benjamin: What?
- Elaine: I don't understand. I don't understand how you...
- Benjamin: Did you say "rape her"?
- Elaine: How you or anyone could do a thing like that!
- Benjamin: What did she say? You've got to tell me what she said!
- Elaine: Why?
- Benjamin: Because it isn't true! Tell me!
- Elaine: She said that she was having a drink at the hotel with a friend, and that you... waited for her in the parking lot, and told her that she was too drunk to drive home, and that you would get her a room for the night.
- Benjamin: Oh, then what?
- Elaine: Then you took her upstairs, and you raped her.
- Benjamin: Oh, no no, that's not what happened. What happened was that there was this party at my parents, I drove your mother home...
- Elaine: I don't want to hear this!
- Benjamin: Then we went upstairs to see your portrait...
- Elaine: No, I don't!
- Benjamin: When we got up in the room, she started taking her clothes off...
- Elaine: This is my mother, Benjamin!
- Benjamin: And suddenly, there she was without any clothes on, I mean, reallly naked!
- Elaine: Okay!
- [Elaine screams hysterically, lying face down on Ben's bed, crying]
- Benjamin: What kind of car was it?
- Mrs. Robinson: What?
- Benjamin: Do you remember the make of the car?
- Mrs. Robinson: Oh, my God.
- Benjamin: Really, I want to know.
- Mrs. Robinson: It was a Ford, Benjamin.
- Benjamin: [laughs] A Ford, a Ford! Goddam it, that's great. A Ford!
- Mrs. Robinson: That's enough.
- Benjamin: [Mrs. Robinson turns off the lights] So old Elaine Robinson got started in a Ford.
- Mrs. Robinson: Don't talk about Elaine.
- Benjamin: Don't talk about Elaine?
- Mrs. Robinson: No.
- Benjamin: Well, why not?
- Mrs. Robinson: Because I don't want you to.
- Benjamin: Well, why don't you? I wish you'd tell me.
- Mrs. Robinson: There's nothing to tell.
- Benjamin: Well, why is she a big taboo subject all of a sudden? Well, I guess I'll have to ask her out on a date and find out what the big deal is.
- Mrs. Robinson: [Mrs. Robinson turns on the lights,sternly warning Benjamin] Benjamin.
- Benjamin: Ow!
- Mrs. Robinson: Don't you ever take that girl out! Do you understand that?
- Benjamin: Look, I have no intention of taking her out!
- Mrs. Robinson: Good.
- Mrs. Singleman: Hello.
- Benjamin: Hello.
- Mrs. Singleman: Oh, you must be one of the porters.
- Benjamin: No, actually, I'm not...
- Mrs. Singleman: Yes, I'd like you to meet my sister, Miss DeWitte.
- Miss DeWitte: How do you do?
- Benjamin: How do you do, Miss DeWitte?
- Mrs. Singleman: And that's my husband, Mr. Singleman.
- [Mr. Singleman holds his hand out to be shaked]
- Benjamin: Oh, sorry.
- Geoffrey: Fine, thank you.
- Mrs. Singleman: That's Geoffrey, of course.
- Mr. Singleman: I didn't get your name, sir.
- Benjamin: Benjamin Braddock, sir, but I'm...
- Mrs. Singleman: Braddock? Braddock?
- Benjamin: Yes, but I'm afraid I'm...
- Mrs. Singleman: Oh, no no no, I'll find your table in just a moment.
- [Mrs. Singleman looks through the guest list]
- Mrs. Singleman: Braddock, Braddock, Braddock, not Branham, we have a Branham.
- [laughs]
- Benjamin: No, actually, I'm just looking for a friend.
- Mrs. Singleman: Oh, but I don't understand.
- Benjamin: I'm not with your party. I'm sorry.
- Mr. Singleman: Hey, I don't get it.
- Miss DeWitte: I've enjoyed meeting you, Mr. Braddock.
- Benjamin: I don't know. They must think I look like this guy Gladstone.
- Miss DeWitte: Hello, Mr. Braniff!
- Elaine: I'm sorry I screamed.
- [pauses]
- Elaine: Benjamin, when you came up here, what did you think was going to happen between us?
- Benjamin: Elaine, right now, I don't feel like talking much. I'm sorry about everything, but I think I'll just do this now.
- [he opens the cupboard door and started getting his stuff and closes the door]
- Elaine: Can I just sit here while you're packing?
- Benjamin: If you want.
- [Elaine was still waiting for his stuff to be packed up]
- Elaine: What are you going to do now?
- Benjamin: I don't know.
- Elaine: Are you going home?
- Benjamin: No.
- Elaine: Well, where are you going?
- Benjamin: Elaine, you're gonna have to stop asking me that.
- [she nods at him and starts opening the door]
- Elaine: I don't want you to leave tomorrow.
- Benjamin: [looks at Elaine] I don't understand.
- Elaine: I don't want you to go anywhere - until you have a definite plan. Goodbye.
- [she leaves Benjamin's room leaving him behind]
- Benjamin: [repeated line; while banging on the glass window while imitating Fred Flintstone from The Flintstones] ELAINE!
- Mr. Braddock: [at the kitchen table] Elaine's back from school. It might be a nice gesture if you asked her out.
- Benjamin: [in the swimming pool] I suppose she's not good enough for you! Is that it?
- Benjamin: Look, Elaine Robinson and I do not get along.
- Mr. Braddock: How do you know? You haven't seen her since high school. I suppose your evenings - whatever you do with them - are just too valuable.
- Benjamin: That has nothing to do with it.
- Mr. Braddock: I guess I'll just have to tell Mr. Robinson that you're too busy every evening, doing God knows what.
- Mrs. Braddock: Now, don't go on like this!
- Mr. Braddock: I'm not.
- Mrs. Braddock: If Benjamin absolutely refuses to take her out...
- Benjamin: I do.
- Mrs. Braddock: Then I will simply have to invite all of the Robinsons over on Thursday.
- [Ben falls off his air mattress and splashes into the pool]
- Benjamin: [Benjamin pulls up to the service station] Can I use your phone?
- Gas station attendant: Yeah.
- Dr. Smith's answering service (voice): [Ben starts looking through the telephone directory; after finding the number, he dials it] 657-2036.
- Benjamin: Hello? Who is this?
- Dr. Smith's answering service (voice): This is Dr. Smith's answering service.
- Benjamin: Is the doctor anywhere?
- Dr. Smith's answering service (voice): I'm afraid the doctor can't be reached right now. If you'd like to leave...
- Benjamin: I have to know where he is!
- Dr. Smith's answering service (voice): Well, you see, the doctor is at his son's wedding, but I'm sure it's over by now. He should be checking in any moment.
- Benjamin: Listen to me! I'm Dr. Smith's brother... Reverend Smith, and I'm supposed to perform the ceremony. I just got in from Portland, and I've forgotten what church, you see?
- Dr. Smith's answering service (voice): Oh, well, I'm not sure, but you might try the First Presbyterian. Now that's on Allen Street.
- Benjamin: Thank you.
- [Ben hangs up, leaving the service station]
- Benjamin: Allen Street, where is it?
- Gas station attendant: Allen, uh... it's, uh... it's, uh... it's six blocks up and, uh... three over. Hey, you need any gas, Father?
- [Ben drives away]
- Mrs. Robinson: Will you come in, please?
- Benjamin: What?
- Mrs. Robinson: I'd like you to come in till I get the lights on.
- Benjamin: What for?
- Mrs. Robinson: 'Cause I don't feel safe till I get the lights on.
- Mrs. Robinson: Is there an ashtray in here?
- Benjamin: No.
- Mrs. Robinson: Oh, yes, I forgot, the track star doesn't smoke.
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