I've always been after movies featuring strippers. I'm a South African who grew up in a repressed country, so that explains everything. An illicit thrill, yeah, that's what a guy searches for. But like I said, South Africa. The authorities were powerful, they blocked everything that showed skin. Many titles were released quite a lot later in this country. So I don't really remember when I saw them, but at a certain golden time, there were KANDYLAND, STRIPPED TO KILL and STRIPPER. That last one I am not at liberty to discuss in detail here, it has not been released on DVD. But that one, though merely a documentary, is something else, a docu-drama that is a classic, an emotional tearjerker almost, especially if you have a very big soft spot, like myself. For you life the contest, and you feel it when hopes get shattered...
...hey, I must get with the program! This is about KANDYLAND, stop digressing!
The harsh verdict first: KANDYLAND is a largely uneven movie. The first half is much better than the second half. The male lead is a boyish-looking fiasco, and the drug pushing blowdried lounge lizard is a cardboard character. The strippers have good bodies, but as secondary characters, when they have lines to speak, they do so as if in the neighborhood school play. The character of Mad Dog, which could have led to more, is largely wasted.
Kim Everson and Sandahl Bergman are total finds. Both of them have bodies to die for! Prior to watching, I didn't remember the movie, only very little, and reading the only other review, saw that there were no pole-dancing, only real dancing, so, bummer! I thought, there would have to be pole- dancing, it's needed... But, watching, I can see why she approved so much. KANDYLAND is actually quite classy, the girls give virtuoso performances, by many or even most contemporary standards, this is even wholesome! This really is, to quote something uniquely South African, 'the teaze without the sleaze' and I think many people would dream about going to an upmarket club like this.
And what I really, really like is that it is shown from the girls' viewpoints. They see it as an addictive thrill. This is something I have known, that female performers often do these dances for that naughty reason, and it's great to get away from the mercenary "cheap hussy" stereotype.
There is nothing wrong with nudity. The problem lies with the onlookers. But this movie beautifully shows the artistry involved. The girls and the dancing are classy. Bare breasts? Of course! Kim's breasts are even natural! Former Playboy Playmate, Miss August 1984, say three years earlier. I don't need to say anything more than that, guys, go for it!
I'm not saying this is a good movie. But the performances by the two female leads are worth watching. Unfortunately, Sandahl was much better as a solid character. She couldn't even nearly portray the falling-to-pieces part. Started off so well... Still, her presence is fantastic. I wouldn't want anybody else for the part. Most of the rest of the (acting) cast serves as wrecking crew. They are clearly called in from the street, almost that bad. But it's way better than its contemporary, even if it gets way unhinged as well. Just don't get involved with STRIPPED TO KILL, that gone-way- sour thing. That thing's dismal. There are laughable attempts here, make no mistake. But The Raven is partial to a movie with such exciting (yet tasteful) topless dancing scenes.
***Spoiler Alert***
As Miss Harlow Divine disintegrates, so too does the movie along with her. When she is no longer in the movie, the level of junky scenes just increase. Check it out!
The attempted rape scene is the weakest attempted rape ever committed to film. Kim stands there screaming and sobbing and sniffling and covering up with no attempt to even run away from a guy whose trousers are almost halfway down? Talk about passive! Presented all wrong, so stupidly executed it ruins the whole movie, undermining the heroine.
***End Spoiler Alert***
Not recommended if you want a serious movie. High-brow entertainment it is not. Us low-class folks might get a kick out of at least some of it. Not recommended if you don't want to see nipples. But highly recommended if that is what you want. There's enough. Be warned that the whole thing turns quite unerotic towards the end, the scene with the marquee, which is what I remembered best of the movie. Badly performed as it is.
On a lighter note:
You know what I'd like? To climb into my pink Cadillac and drive out into the country, stopping in the sparse shade of the electricity pylons, and put my own long-legged Joni through her paces. Like Sandahl's character. I mean, what a toy! And a light-footed prancer at that! Sure beats a radio-controlled airplane pants down! :)
