- Coach Hayden Fox: You graduated from college and now you won't wash my car?
- Dauber: Uh-Huh
- Coach Hayden Fox: You see, this is why I hate education.
- Assistant Coach Luther Horatio Van Dam: I've made out my will, and I'd like you to be my executioner.
- Coach Hayden Fox: I think you mean "executor."
- Assistant Coach Luther Horatio Van Dam: You're the only man that I can look in the eye and say "I love you." And I know you love me, Even thought you don't say it. I mean, I don't expect you to say it all the time, you know. Wouldn't KILL you every once in a while, though!
- Coach Hayden Fox: You think I didn't respect you Christine, but the truth is, I didn't even think of you.