- Amelia Roosevelt Morrison: [about her autograph book] Pablo Picasso drew me a little picture, but I couldn't make it out, so I threw it away.
- Inspector Lestrade: It appears that Signor Marconi and his wife are on holiday, on their way to America.
- Dr. John Watson: On that brand new vessel, the Titanic, I should imagine.
- Inspector Lestrade: No, no, the maiden voyage was delayed, so they had to change to another vessel.
- Dr. John Watson: Rotten luck.
- Sherlock Holmes: Watson, I think you should perform a post-mortem on this woman.
- Dr. John Watson: Good God, Holmes, she was ripped apart by crocodiles!
- Dr. John Watson: Which means?
- Sherlock Holmes: Son of pig.
- Dr. John Watson: Really? I wouldn't expect a lady of any caste to say such a thing.
- Dr. John Watson: Are you absolutely sure it will be tonight, Holmes? It's almost tomorrow.
- Sherlock Holmes: I have been wrong on three occasions, Watson, who can tell, this might be the fourth.
- Dr. John Watson: Well I never. So you had the real stone all the time, and the thieves had the fake one. Could that be true?
- Sherlock Holmes: When you write the story, Watson, you decide.