Incorrigible Cory (1993–2000)

Danny McNulty: Harvey 'Harley' Keiner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Harley : Didn't I tell Frankie to dispose of you two?

  Cory : Yeah, and he did. He killed us. Big time.

  Shawn : And now we're the angels of ourselves.

  Cory : And now it's time for us to float away.

  Shawn : Float.

  Harley : Have either one of you angels seen my girl.

  Cory : You mean Gloria?

  Shawn : No, we haven't seen her.

  Cory : There's no reason for us to have seen her.

  Shawn : We were in the locker the WHOLE time.

  Harley : The whole time WHAT, boys?

  Cory : Come on, Shawn. Float.

• Harley : How come last night you kept me waiting for 20 minutes outside your house?

  Gloria : How come you parked outside my house, honked the horn, and didn't come in?

  Harley : Because maybe I saw your father standing by the door and I didn't feel like saying hello.

  Gloria : That was my mother.

  Harley : Then I definitely don't wanna meet your father.

• Harley : That was then, this is... not then.

• Cory : You see, my mom's mad at my dad because he got her a trash compactor for their anniversary.

  Harley : What a yutz.

  Gloria : Oh, yeah. That's a long way away from tires.

• [Harley's about to beat up Cory and Shawn when Shawn sees Gloria] 

  Shawn : Harley, why would you waste your time beating us up when you could be spending your time with Claudia Schiffer's cuter younger sister.

  Gloria : Well, I wouldn't say cuter.

  Harley : Turn it off.

  Shawn : Turning it off, sir.

• Harley : Frankie, remember that pinata I promised you for your birthday.

  Frankie : Yeah.

  Harley : Here's two. (shoves Cory and Shawn his way) Feliz Navidad.

• Cory : In some countries me calling your hair greasy would be considered a compliment. For instance... Greece.

  Gloria : That's funny.

  Harley : Yeah, he's a pretty funny guy.

  Cory : So, I get to live, huh?

  Harley : There's that humor again. I will miss that.

• [all said very fast] 

  Joey : That's a good one, Harley. That's a great one. I'll be laughing at that one for years and years. I'll probably be telling my grandkids about it, like sixty years from now. Unless of course, if I don't have grandkids, and then I suppose I'll have to tell some strange kids in a park. And the cops'll come and say, "Hey, you in the raincoat... "

  Harley : Shut up.

  Joey : Yeah, okay.

• [Harley has just caught Frankie and Gloria together] 

  Frankie : Harley, I can explain.

  Harley : I look forward to hearing it.

  Frankie : I went behind your back and stole your girl.

• Harley : Frankie, what's wrong with you? You haven't said a word all morning.

  Frankie : Just having some quiet time.

  Harley : That's good. Some people (looks at Gloria) should try that sometime.

• Gloria : Name one thing you got me that ever made me feel special.

  Harley : Tires. Steel belted.

  Gloria : Three.

  Harley : The guy came back.

• Gloria : My girlfriend's boyfriends actually come up to the door.

  Harley : That's because they don't have cars.

• Gloria : My girlfriend's boyfriends have manners.

  Harley : You call sticking your finger in my face manners?