In the Kingdom of the Blind, the Man with One Eye Is King

The plot: A cop's loyalty is tested when his brother blah blah blah, whatever... it's not terribly important.

Let's start with the title. "In the Kingdom of the Blind, the Man with One Eye is King". It's hilariously long, clunky, and tells you almost nothing about the actual movie. As soon as I saw the title, I knew that I was going to love this movie. How could it not be a B movie, with that title? I was not disappointed. It really does open itself to some kind of snarky review title like, "In the Kingdom of the Bland, This Movie is King".

Let there be no mistake: this is a low budget, derivative, clichéd, B movie that takes itself very, very seriously. Like many B movies, it's got a bait-and-switch scam regarding one of its advertised stars (Michael Biehn, who's got a brief cameo). If you are not very demanding, I think this movie can be legitimately enjoyed for what it is. It's not particularly bad, but it's ruthlessly mediocre. To some extent, I might even compare it to Tommy Wiseau's The Room, in that it tries so hard to set up tense, dramatic scenes, full of powerhouse acting -- and then fails. Maybe the entertainment that I derived from it wasn't entirely intentional, but I just can't bring myself to hate this movie. Though it lacks the over-the-top ineptitude and unintentional campiness of The Room, it makes up for that with generous helpings of overacting and pretentious seriousness.

Recommended only for those who have a high tolerance for B movies. If you're looking for something to enjoy non-ironically, then you might want to skip Kingdom of the King, as I like to think of it.