Shooting Fish (1997)
Stuart Townsend: Jez
Photos
Quotes
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[inside the night-club]
Dylan : [seductively] I want to pleasure you with my tongue.
[Georgie walks away in disgust. She sees Jez who has been waiting for her outside the night-club, dressed in his shorts after escaping from his "quick-release trousers"]
Georgie : Hello.
Jez : Hi.
Georgie : This is a surprise.
Jez : Yeah, isn't it.
Georgie : What are you doing here? Was it Scouts tonight?
Jez : No, no. I was just passing. Are you OK?
Georgie : [unconvincingly] Yeah.
Jez : Did he try to "pleasure you with his tongue"?
Georgie : Is it that obvious?
Jez : It's kind of a compulsion with him. He has to exchange fluids with everyone he meets. That's why we never have pets.
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Jez : Dylan's completely trustworthy. He's just a bit unreliable in some areas.
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Dylan : Now *that* is a thing of beauty.
Jez : Who you're flirting with.
Dylan : You fallen?
Jez : No I haven't.
Dylan : Jez, you've got a little bit of a crush? You're wasting your time.
Jez : I know: you're good looking and I'm too technical.
Dylan : Jez, you've got to stop punishing yourself. You're not too technical, just ugly, gross ugly.
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Friend of Lady Georgina : Well done! Marvellous race, Lady Georgina.
Georgie : Oh thank you. Oh, I forgot to mention that.
Jez : *Lady* Georgina?
Georgie : You're not cross, are you? No, you're pleased.
Dylan : Doctor, peer of the realm and with secretarial skills? Who'd be cross?
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[Jez is discovered in the Rays' house. He tries to escape but Geoff catches hold of his trousers as he is climbing over the fence]
Geoff : [gleefully] I've got you now, boy. I've got you now.
[Jez presses a button on his waistband and shoots upwards and over the fence, minus his trousers]
Jez : [to himself] All praise to my quick-release trousers.
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[filling in "complete the following phrase" coupons for prize draws]
Jez : "In not more than eight words, explain why you buy Zappy Nappies."
Dylan : "I buy Zappy Nappies for my kids..." Shit, I've run out of words.
Jez : We could try that: "I buy Zappy Nappies for my kids' shit." I've got it: "Weighs less that a bun. Holds more than a ton."
Dylan : That's completely disgusting.
Jez : But it's honest.
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[Georgie is fast asleep next to Jez in the car]
Dylan : You know, I can see it now - she's a stunningly attractive woman.
Jez : It means she's relaxed in our company.
Dylan : If she relaxes any more it could get very messy.
Jez : Don't. She might hear you.
Dylan : Jez, look at her. She's wasted. God only knows what she was up to last night.
Jez : You're twisted. She's got charm and warmth and...
Dylan : ...and neat little sit-up breasts.
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Jez : I was wondering... would you... perhaps you'd might consider... or... or think about... possibly...
Dylan : I think he's trying to ask you if you'd like to kiss him.
Georgie : Oh, go on then.
[Jez and Georgie kiss passionately]
Dylan : Has the British aristocracy lost all sense of decency?
[sees Floss approaching]
Dylan : I certainly hope so.