Since You've Been Gone (1998 TV Movie)

Thom Cox: Clay Mellon

Quotes 

• Clay Mellon : I'm working on a children's book. Yeah, it's kinda like the tooth fairy, only this one takes the teeth while they're still *in* the mouth.

• Clay Mellon : I saw this old lady crossing a street today. Man, she was real fuckin' old... I mean decrepit. I figured I'd help her across. So, I walked up to her and took her by her arm and offered to help her cross the street, when she suddenly pulled away from me and she yelled: "fuck you! I can do it myself!" And it wasn't any Alzheimer's thing. I didn't even knew old ladies said "fuck you".

  Duncan Sheperd : Everybody says "fuck you." Some people say "F-you".

  Clay Mellon : The point is... I mean, here I am going out of my way to help this old lady so that she doesn't fall down on her ass and all she can say to me is "fuck you"?

  Duncan Sheperd : Did you say anything to her?

  Clay Mellon : Yeah, I told her, WELL, FUCK YOU! That's it! I'm just not going to be nice to people anymore. So... how was the museum?

  Duncan Sheperd : It was great.

  Clay Mellon : Good.

• Duncan Sheperd : Clay, I don't want to be here. Did you see all those people out there? I heard many of them talking about how great their lives are. Everyone has the BMW's, the fancy jobs, the houses. I'm just here because you wanted to come and you're my best friend and so I can keep an eye on you and make sure you don't have another episode.

  Clay Mellon : I'm not going to have an episode. I took my lithium. At least I think I took it.

  Duncan Sheperd : What am I gonna say when they ask me what I'm doing now? I went bankrupt? I'm unemployed? I lost everything? I lost my car, my house, my job?

  Clay Mellon : Come on, Duncan. It's all on how you say it. You can say it like a loser... "oh, I'm unemployed. I lost my job." Or you can say it with confidence. Think James Bond. "I'm sifting through offers."

  Duncan Sheperd : Clay, I'm not even looking for another job. I'm living on a sofa bed in your apartment. I'm going every day to museums, art galleries, taking long walks in parks. I'm the lowest of the low. I'm at the bottom of the barrel.

  Clay Mellon : Maybe. But at least you're still wearing the suit and tie.

• Zane Levy : You know, you really should stop mixing vodka with your antidpresseants.

  Clay Mellon : Yeah, tell me something I don't know.

  Zane Levy : So what's the story with your family? Father still hitting your mother?

  Clay Mellon : Yeah, big show at the Labor Day barbecue last week. We all have our relatives over, right? And my Ma, she's been drinking since like... 8:00 a.m. or so. During dinner my Dad, who has been drinking since like 10:00 a.m., says to Ma, "pass the yams", and out of fuckin' nowhere, my Ma says "you want yams? I'll give you yams!" And she picks up the fuckin' bowl and throws 'em out the fuckin' window. Oh, and then she did this thing to my Dad. Oh, what's that word?

  Zane Levy : Bludgeoned?

  Clay Mellon : Emasculated. So, what's with you? How's the music thing going? I hear your song on the radio all the time.

  Zane Levy : [sarcastic]  Yeah, they play it like 100 million times a day.

  Clay Mellon : It doesn't really sound like you.

  Zane Levy : It doesn't? Hmm.