- Paul: The wonderful thing about falling in love is you learn everything about that person and so quickly. And if it's true love, then you start to see yourself through their eyes. And it brings out the best in you. It's almost as if you're falling in love with yourself.
- Joan: I feed the fucking thing. I take her to the vet, all you do is pet her twice a day... which is a HELL of a lot more than you've been doing to me lately.
- Paul: When I came home that day I realised that I was more in love with you than ever before.
- Hannah: Well how did that thunderbolt strike you?
- Paul: Because I made a choice. I took one look at you and I knew I made the right choice. And Hannah: you're still the right choice.
- Hannah: We made a child that day.
- Paul: We did indeed. Our Jo-Jo.
- Hannah: Yeah. We did indeed.
- [On the Phone]
- Joan: What, is that a rhetorical question? Why is my life so complicated? Gee, I don't know. Why is your life so fucking simple?
- Joan: No, no, STOP. I've waited my entire life for somebody that I cared about to tell me they loved me and if you think you're getting out of this car now, you're INSANE.
- Paul: You know, I never knew what happiness was until I married your mother. And by then it was too late.
- Max: I uh... I like your tight body. It looks like it would do what I tell it.
- Joan: What?
- Max: I said...
- Joan: No, I heard what you said. And I'll admit 'What?' was a rather banal, cliché, noncolorful response. What I really meant to say was: 'Why don't you do the world a big fat fucking favor and crawl back into your mother's womb?'
- Joan: Last time I saw Harry he was wearing a blue sweater and an idiotic expression. The sweater was new.
- Meredith: Look, Trent, you're a nice guy, I don't...
- Trent: [groaning] Oh, oh, that's - you know...
- [heading for the railing]
- Trent: I'm swimming to shore, you can call the Coast Guard.
- Meredith: Oh, come on!
- Trent: Nice guy? That's - I haven't been dismissed with that since high school!
- [pause]
- Trent: Does that mean no second date?
- Mark: Let's play a game.
- Mildred: Okay, want me to get a pack of cards?
- Mark: Not that kind of game.
- Mildred: Okay, what?
- Mark: Tell me something that I don't know.
- Mildred: What do you mean?
- Mark: You know, something I wouldn't have known about you.
- Mildred: Oh, I don't know...
- Mark: Please, mom.
- Mildred: Okay.
- [pauses for about 2 seconds]
- Mildred: Well, I never loved your father.
- Mark: [totally shocked] What?
- Mildred: I never did.
- Mark: Wow, you're really good at this.
- Mildred: Truth be told, when he died, I felt relieved more than anything else.
- Mark: [still totally shocked] Gee, Mom, don't hold anything back.
- Meredith: I don't deal with passion well.
- Trent: Maybe you don't like that loss of control. You prefer to be the director, telling everyone what to do.
- Meredith: It's pretty painfully obvious, isn't it.
- Trent: Somewhat painful, yes... You know there's something to find out about me.
- Meredith: What's that?
- Trent: That I take direction pretty well.
- Paul: [a waiter arrives with a tray of champagne] Ah, champagne!
- [Paul offers a glass to Joan]
- Paul: Jo-Jo?
- Joan: [smiling self-consciously, waves it away] Oh, um, Dad, that's okay. Keenan and I are just going to have a couple of cokes.
- Hannah: [Paul and Hannah look at each other, shocked that Joan has passed up alcohol, then they both look at Keenan] Keenan, have I said how very nice it is to meet you?
- Joan: Funny.
- Keenan: I can't stop thinking about you.
- Joan: I love conversations that start with the guy saying "I can't stop thinking about you." Mind you I've never actually been on the receiving end of any of those conversations...
- Keenan: Just looking at you makes me happy.
- Joan: I have - I have to sit down.
- [almost knocks over the chair sitting down]
- Keenan: When we're together, whether or not I show it, I just can't wait to hear the next words out of your mouth. But right now I need to ask you to do something for me.
- Joan: Anything.
- Keenan: Shut up.
- Joan: Blanche can look at you with a gaze of unflappable superiority that springs from total detachment and disinterest... not unlike how you're looking at me know.
- Mark: This is a hell of a way for you to find out.
- Mildred: Find out what?
- Mark: Well, that I'm gay for one thing... come on, you never suspected?
- Mildred: You were always so good at sports.
- [They laugh]
- Mildred: So what's the other thing?
- Mark: What other thing?
- Mildred: You said "that I'm gay for one thing" so what's the other thing?
- Mark: That I'm dying.
- Hugh: Fucker works for NBC. He's sitting in my home, with my wife, and my dog, and he doesn't have to worry about the Thursday night fucking schedule.
- Lana: I may be a fabulous looking broad, but I got a penis. This ain't no disco and I don't want no "Crying Game" drama.
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