Da Hip Hop Witch (2000)
BOMB (out of 4)
Incredibly awful and rather pathetic "movie" about five idiot white people who go into the ghetto to look for the title creature. This witch just happens to stalks various rap artists so the white kids try to get famous by looking for her. This parody (?) of THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT is beyond awful in every way imaginable. The screenplay is awful. The acting is awful. The direction is awful. The entire intent of this thing is awful and for the life of me I can't understand what writer-director Dale Resteghini was trying to do other than get idiots like me to watch this film. What we've basically got is a bunch of scenes that make no sense thrown together and the "highlight" is seeing various hip hop artists talk about their encounter with the witch or stories they've heard about the witch. These include Eminem talking about how the witch tried to stick her butter finger up his butt. Really? Was this meant to be funny? Were we supposed to take this serious? Mobb Deep, Rah Digga, Pras, Killah Priest, Ja Rule and Vanilla Ice also show up. There's no question that this film wasn't made to try and win an Oscar but at the same time you'd hope for at least some cheap entertainment or fun. This movie really offers neither and it actually gets worse as it goes along. It's just mind-blowing that the director would make a film like this but, again, I'm sure it was for money. Even then, was there a reason for this to clock in at 90-minutes? The entire film looks incredibly cheap and from what I've read the director just pretty much showed up at the various artists' locations, threw them some money and then had them talk. It's clear none of them knew what the heck was going on as their stories just drag on and there's no point to any of them. DA HIP HOP WITCH is a complete piece of junk that probably ranks as the very worse I've ever seen. I at least can't think of another movie where less effort was done.
