Hyper Noël (2002)
David Krumholtz: Bernard
Photos
Quotes
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Bernard : Don't listen to him! This guy's not Santa! He's a toy! He has a rubber face and a plastic tushie!
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Bernard : OK, Chet. This is it. You ready to rock and roll?
Principal Carol Newman : Chet?
Bernard : Yeah. He's still in training.
Scott Calvin/Santa Claus : How much flight time has he had?
Bernard : About a minute and a half.
Curtis, the Experimental Elf : Yeah but he's had a lotta crash time.
Scott Calvin/Santa Claus : Curtis.
Curtis, the Experimental Elf : He's just a baby.
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Scott Calvin/Santa Claus : I have to get married?
Bernard : Yes. It's the Mrs. Clause.
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Bernard : Curtis, you're 900 years old, grow up!
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Curtis, the Experimental Elf : Well, I think he's learning at an excellent rate!
Bernard : Oh really? This morning, he ate a bowl of wax fruit.
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[talking about the new Toy Santa]
Bernard : So I caution you all not to point, or stare, or use the word plastic!
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[the elves are being confronted by the toy soldiers in the courtyard]
Bernard : [to elves] Snowballs on the count of three! One!
[the elves drop to their knees and make snowballs]
Bernard : Two!
[elves aim their snowballs]
Bernard : THREE!
[Bernard and the elves throw their snowballs at the toy soldiers like crazy]
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Toy Santa : [while reading the contents of handbook of rules] Wait a minute. I need the naughty and nice list.
Bernard : Nope.
Toy Santa : Oh yes, yes, it says I'm supposed to check it twice.
Bernard : Santa already checked it!
Toy Santa : No, I didn't.
Bernard : The real Santa.
Toy Santa : I am the REAL Santa!
Bernard : Sorry?
Toy Santa : I'm in charge here!
Bernard : WHAT?
Toy Santa : I check the list twice. That's the rule. I like the rules. I think you're aware of how I feel about that.
Bernard : I think you're misunderstanding something.
Toy Santa : No, no, I'm a rule maker. I like the rules. Santa likes the rules.
