Service non compris (I) (2005)
Wendie Malick: Monty's Mom
Quotes
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Monty's Mom : So I called your house today, at two. You were still asleep, weren't you?
Monty : That's an understatement.
Monty's Mom : So what did you do last night? I trust my little angel didn't do anything immoral.
Monty : Well, ummm... Let's see. I started by getting completely hammered drunk. It was bad. Then drove, while intoxicated, to pick up this disease-infested hooker.
Monty's Mom : Uh huh...
Monty : From there... uh, let's see. Me and the hooker went back to my place...
Monty's Mom : The hooker and I.
Monty : Excuse me. The hooker and I went back to my place and from there... God, it was just a blur of intravenous drug abuse and unprotected sex, while taking the Lord's name in vain.
Monty's Mom : Dean, did you know that when Monty was a child everyone thought he was retarded?
Monty : Dean, doesn't my mom look old? I mean, much older than she rightfully should?
Monty's Mom : So why aren't you and Serena still together? I liked her.
Monty : I don't know. I guess it got old. We had a relationship based on orgasms.
Monty's Mom : Oh, how charming. You are being safe aren't you? I don't think I could handle the idea of you reproducing.
Monty : Come on, mom! Of course I'm being safe. I pull out.
Monty's Mom : Yes, well your father pulled out too but we've all seen the tragic end of that story.
Monty : You think I wanna have kids? Absolutely not! That's why I stick to anal sex.
Monty's Mom : If only I had been so lucky.