"Cheaper By the Dozen" would have at least been an amusing film if it hadn't already been made about a hundred times before. In the early stages of production I was actually misled into thinking it was a direct adaptation of the book, and was excited to see how they'd pull that off. Little did I know the title is all the film has in common with its source.
Steve Martin plays Tom Baker, an average Joe with twelve kids who drive him insane. When he decides to chase after the money and head out to the big city, his kids throw a fuss and protest by performing "hilarious" physical comedy that will "have you in stitches." I suppose we're meant to sympathize with the little brats. The problem is that it's hard to find sympathy for the spawn of Satan. I felt like slapping the kids and throwing them out the window of a thousand-foot skyscraper.
Ashton Kutcher makes a "delightful" cameo. Just what we need - another ugly mug from MTV grinning at the camera.
What happened to Steve Martin? Why on earth did he feel the need to star in this film? Was it just the money? Was it the prospect of pretending to have Bonnie Hunt as a wife? Or was it trying to appeal to the masses again and using children's familiarity with Hilary Duff to reintroduce himself into the family market and therefore appeal to his own children? Is he really that pathetic? Please, Steve...come back...we miss you. Stop doing this. Do you really want to end up like Eddie Murphy? Oh, wait. Too late.
