53 reviews
Wretched from start to finish
This movie is one sorry mess and its hard to believe it was ever made. There had to be some kind of tax shelter deal that enabled the birth of this monstrosity, because I fail to see how any rational person would ever willingly invest money into a script like this.
The plot involves a government-owned oil rig conducting secretive drilling operations deep underground. Something goes wrong and the crew from a tugboat delivering supplies to the rig investigates. Of course, there are government agents involved and higher-level military officers trying to keep the oil rig experiments a secret from the outside world.
This could have been a decent horror/thriller but the filmmakers obviously didn't care. Some scenes were so blatantly stupid that one would have thought of them as parodies of horror film clichés, but no, they were actual attempts at generating suspense and drama. Usually scenes are included in movies to move the story forward and to develop the characters, but the makers of "Sea Ghost" decided it would better to include scenes that made absolutely no sense in the context of the movie. To top it all off, the CGI was pathetic, I'm sure an eight year old using a Mac could have developed better effects, and would have saved the producers some money to boot. At least the no-name actors tried, although some seemed to be playing it as a comedy and others as a serious horror.
The plot involves a government-owned oil rig conducting secretive drilling operations deep underground. Something goes wrong and the crew from a tugboat delivering supplies to the rig investigates. Of course, there are government agents involved and higher-level military officers trying to keep the oil rig experiments a secret from the outside world.
This could have been a decent horror/thriller but the filmmakers obviously didn't care. Some scenes were so blatantly stupid that one would have thought of them as parodies of horror film clichés, but no, they were actual attempts at generating suspense and drama. Usually scenes are included in movies to move the story forward and to develop the characters, but the makers of "Sea Ghost" decided it would better to include scenes that made absolutely no sense in the context of the movie. To top it all off, the CGI was pathetic, I'm sure an eight year old using a Mac could have developed better effects, and would have saved the producers some money to boot. At least the no-name actors tried, although some seemed to be playing it as a comedy and others as a serious horror.
- jack_thursby
- Jun 27, 2005
- Permalink
Please let me die!
There are no words to describe the absolute misery that this movie will subject you to. Before its end, you too would gladly welcome death.
The plot is awful. The CGI looks like it was hand-drawn onto the frames in production. The beginning credits attempt to be creative but butcher the intro. The same footage is shown over and over again, and most of it looks like it came from a 1980's 8bit video game.
What's worse is the insulting attempt to cover up how awful this film is by including a few busty women. If that's all you want from a movie, then you'll find it here. Just don't expect to be entertained.
If you're considering watching this movie, please don't throw away your life like that. Your time will be much better spent by watching that horrible Ewok movie that Lucas put out in '84. You deserve better than this.
The plot is awful. The CGI looks like it was hand-drawn onto the frames in production. The beginning credits attempt to be creative but butcher the intro. The same footage is shown over and over again, and most of it looks like it came from a 1980's 8bit video game.
What's worse is the insulting attempt to cover up how awful this film is by including a few busty women. If that's all you want from a movie, then you'll find it here. Just don't expect to be entertained.
If you're considering watching this movie, please don't throw away your life like that. Your time will be much better spent by watching that horrible Ewok movie that Lucas put out in '84. You deserve better than this.
- fadedirony
- May 12, 2006
- Permalink
worst use of CGI that I ever witnessed
a drilling platform off the Gulf of Mexico raises the worst, most incompetent CGI sea creature that you're likely ever to see from deep under the ground. It breaks free of the containment that it's being held in and goes on a rampage. Apparently it can change people's perception of reality to (I have no clue either). The government is trying to keep this particular oil rig secret, if only the Producers of Jim Wynorski's latest in a LONG series of awful movies dating back to 1990 (when he made his last enjoyable film) opted to do the same thus sparing us 94 minutes of our lives that will never be returned. Avoid this incompetent trash like Paula Poundstone and you were an orphan. The thing is if it wasn't for the CGI it wouldn't be THAT bad. Don't get me wrong it would still suck, just not as much.
Eye Candy: Glori-Anne Gilbert dances topless for no reason whatsoever
My Grade: D-
Eye Candy: Glori-Anne Gilbert dances topless for no reason whatsoever
My Grade: D-
- movieman_kev
- Sep 7, 2005
- Permalink
Worst movie I've ever seen
Brought this movie home from the video store since it seemed pretty good. I mean there was a whole wall of this movie and almost all were taken so we decided to give it a shot. I looked it up here before I watched the movie and all I can say is that I totally agree with what others had to say. This movie is horrible....It's probably the WORST movie I've ever seen. The CGI is awful....doesn't even look real. Actually the whole time I was watching this I was laughing at how lame it was. The story could have been really good but it seems they just didn't care. If you see this at the video store....skip it....it's not worth wasting 94 minutes of your life.
Nothing below
*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*
"The Thing Below" is a completely unnecessary movie. I didn't need to see it and no one needed to spend two seconds making it. In fact, I would dare say that no one should have even thought about making it. I rented it expecting a cheap "Deep Rising" rip-off. It's a sad day when your movie watching hopes are dashed because they weren't low enough. I thought mine couldn't possibly get any lower. A "Deep Rising" rip-off was asking too much? Yes. Yes it was.
"The Thing Below" starts off with the usual B-movie scientists doing stupid things in an isolated setting. This time they're on an oil rig and let loose The Thing Below. A cargo ship arrives to check out the situation. Then the movie spins off into oblivion as the monster is not a beast with fangs, tentacles and other cool monster appendages but some sorry telepathic creature that can read your mind and exploit your fears, hopes, dreams etc. This leads to a scene where the monster turns into Glori-Anne Gilbert so it can do a strip tease for one of the crew members and another scene where there's an Old West style shootout (?!). I'm sure once the filmmakers saw the quality of their monster special effects, (terrible, awful, etc), they decided to take the telepathic creature route. It didn't really matter which monster they chose because there's no suspense, no thrills and pretty much nothing below. Well, nothing worth getting excited about that's for sure. Any way you look at it, this movie needs to be tossed away and forgotten.
"The Thing Below" is a completely unnecessary movie. I didn't need to see it and no one needed to spend two seconds making it. In fact, I would dare say that no one should have even thought about making it. I rented it expecting a cheap "Deep Rising" rip-off. It's a sad day when your movie watching hopes are dashed because they weren't low enough. I thought mine couldn't possibly get any lower. A "Deep Rising" rip-off was asking too much? Yes. Yes it was.
"The Thing Below" starts off with the usual B-movie scientists doing stupid things in an isolated setting. This time they're on an oil rig and let loose The Thing Below. A cargo ship arrives to check out the situation. Then the movie spins off into oblivion as the monster is not a beast with fangs, tentacles and other cool monster appendages but some sorry telepathic creature that can read your mind and exploit your fears, hopes, dreams etc. This leads to a scene where the monster turns into Glori-Anne Gilbert so it can do a strip tease for one of the crew members and another scene where there's an Old West style shootout (?!). I'm sure once the filmmakers saw the quality of their monster special effects, (terrible, awful, etc), they decided to take the telepathic creature route. It didn't really matter which monster they chose because there's no suspense, no thrills and pretty much nothing below. Well, nothing worth getting excited about that's for sure. Any way you look at it, this movie needs to be tossed away and forgotten.
pure crap
- adriennemdavid
- Jun 18, 2006
- Permalink
Terrible sci-fi horror crap.
- poolandrews
- May 16, 2009
- Permalink
Don't waste your time.
This film's plot is a rehash of Alien. Only here the evil critter is not found in outer space but fifteen miles under the Earth. Of course the US Government wants this thing, and wants to keep it hush hush, God knows why. Of course it gets loose on the oil platform where it was pulled out of the ground from and mayhem ensues.
One of the many problems is, the group of characters boarding the oil rig is straight out of the movie cliché handbook. The haunted leader, the bald black man, the inexplicable hot blonde chick, and the eccentric guy, who in this case thinks he's Butch Cassidy (including hat and six shooter).
Another is, this was made in Canada and many of the actors portraying Americans speak with a Doug and Bob MacKenzie accent, kinda weird eh? On the plus side, there is a far too long strip tease sequence performed by what looked to be an up and coming porn star (this accounts for my second star).
They obviously had some money to spend but the lousy acting, hokey cartoon alien and woeful, annoying "on the nose" dialogue drag this thing deeper than the underwater tomb their monster allegedly came from.
One of the many problems is, the group of characters boarding the oil rig is straight out of the movie cliché handbook. The haunted leader, the bald black man, the inexplicable hot blonde chick, and the eccentric guy, who in this case thinks he's Butch Cassidy (including hat and six shooter).
Another is, this was made in Canada and many of the actors portraying Americans speak with a Doug and Bob MacKenzie accent, kinda weird eh? On the plus side, there is a far too long strip tease sequence performed by what looked to be an up and coming porn star (this accounts for my second star).
They obviously had some money to spend but the lousy acting, hokey cartoon alien and woeful, annoying "on the nose" dialogue drag this thing deeper than the underwater tomb their monster allegedly came from.
is this some sick Hollywood joke
I have seen better acting in sixth grade plays. And better sets. And better productions. You get the idea. Its the lamest movie I have ever watched. Fortunately I didn't pay for it at a rental, came across it on TV and only watched it because at first I thought it was Saturday Night Live or something making fun of the movies. The people who are part of this movie should be blacklisted and not allowed to be part of any movie ever again! I feel like calling my cable company and demanding a pro rata share of my monthly bill back for them putting such garbage on TV. If you see this movie on, unplug your TV! That being said, I think some "B" movies make fun of themselves or the genre. Or some, like Shawn of the Dead, are really funny. The problem with The Thing Below is more serious, everyone seems to think they are making a real movie of interest and entertainment. Sometimes I wonder what the old guys, like Alfred Hitchcock and Rod Serling (Twilight Zone), who are masters of suspense, would have done if they had the technology and special effects to add to their craft.
Bad, Bad movie
I am writing this review to warm others about this film. This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Do not waste your time. As a friend of IMDb and my fellow movie commentators, I am sure that if this ever made it to the cinema, it flopped and the makers got rich from the 'bad movie' insurance because the box office receipts could not have exceeded fifty bucks. I am surprised the makers weren't picketed. The CG was just plain awful. There are scarier monsters in Super Mario from Nintendo. Don't even try to put this junk in the league with Leviathon, Deep Star Six, Deep Rising etc. which I would rate as pretty good 'B' films. It just may be worse than 'Plan 9 from Outer Space'. If I mentioned any details, I may be accused of adding a spoiler, but I won't even waste my and your time 'cause this flick is not spoiled, it is rotten to the core. The concept, even though played so many times and to a much higher level of sophistication, may have been OK with much improved CG, dropping the nudie scene, and a script re-write.
Don't even waste your time unless you just want to take a peek for curiosity sake. If you do more than peek and hang to the end, I hate to say it, but you gotta get out more.
Don't even waste your time unless you just want to take a peek for curiosity sake. If you do more than peek and hang to the end, I hate to say it, but you gotta get out more.
So bad they named it twice...
I had the misfortune to catch this movie on Cinemax in Asia, where it had been renamed "Sea Ghost" for reasons that are now obvious.
The film brought back memories - unfortunately not pleasant ones - of science fiction past: the shaky sets; the cinematic clichés; the blatant plot inconsistencies; and best of all, the very shaky special effects, which appear to have been produced on one of the production assistant's kid brother's home computer.
Yes, it sucks big time. Only watch it if it the last movie on earth, and it's a quiet night in oblivion.
PS Sometimes it hard to compose a 10 line comment for a movie this bad!
The film brought back memories - unfortunately not pleasant ones - of science fiction past: the shaky sets; the cinematic clichés; the blatant plot inconsistencies; and best of all, the very shaky special effects, which appear to have been produced on one of the production assistant's kid brother's home computer.
Yes, it sucks big time. Only watch it if it the last movie on earth, and it's a quiet night in oblivion.
PS Sometimes it hard to compose a 10 line comment for a movie this bad!
This movie certainly delivered
Now, call me strange, but I like to watch the occasional gash movie and I have to say, this movie tops it.
Yes, the script was so cheesy mice were asking where party was, the cgi looked like they were done on a ZX Spectrum, the acting was appalling but it was great. For gash, it was the gashest. Had to watch it over three nights just to fully appreciate how delightfully bad this movie was.
You have to wonder who read the script and said "This is good.", as every rotten line in creation was stuffed into it. And the actors were obviously giving it their all, which just made it funny.
Worth a watch if you want a laugh, but definitely not worth taking seriously, and definitely not worth getting annoyed about. Good grief, even the synopsis of the movie was telling you it was gash.
Yes, the script was so cheesy mice were asking where party was, the cgi looked like they were done on a ZX Spectrum, the acting was appalling but it was great. For gash, it was the gashest. Had to watch it over three nights just to fully appreciate how delightfully bad this movie was.
You have to wonder who read the script and said "This is good.", as every rotten line in creation was stuffed into it. And the actors were obviously giving it their all, which just made it funny.
Worth a watch if you want a laugh, but definitely not worth taking seriously, and definitely not worth getting annoyed about. Good grief, even the synopsis of the movie was telling you it was gash.
- danny_friel
- Jul 28, 2013
- Permalink
Rent something else. Change the channel.
This movie and its twin Deep Evil (2004) (TV) are painful to watch.
I won't go into too much detail or reiterate what others have written. I did watch the whole thing but my excuse is that I was watching this in the background while on the computer.
I kept on having deja vu while this played and I just could not put my finger on it - cheesy CGI, less than enthusiastic acting, and some other details.
The overall idea, some of the effects, scenery, bio-hazard outfits, black eyeballs, and "lumpy" skin all looked too familiar - I looked up the cast and crew for this movie and Ah ha! I had seen Deep Evil (2004) recently. They share so much: plot, effects, and one of the writers. Who knows maybe some of the footage got mixed up on the cutting room floor? Don't bother with the movie. Watch paint dry. (Or watch both movies and compare, for fun!)
I won't go into too much detail or reiterate what others have written. I did watch the whole thing but my excuse is that I was watching this in the background while on the computer.
I kept on having deja vu while this played and I just could not put my finger on it - cheesy CGI, less than enthusiastic acting, and some other details.
The overall idea, some of the effects, scenery, bio-hazard outfits, black eyeballs, and "lumpy" skin all looked too familiar - I looked up the cast and crew for this movie and Ah ha! I had seen Deep Evil (2004) recently. They share so much: plot, effects, and one of the writers. Who knows maybe some of the footage got mixed up on the cutting room floor? Don't bother with the movie. Watch paint dry. (Or watch both movies and compare, for fun!)
- chriscarado
- Jan 1, 2006
- Permalink
The Thing Below
- Scarecrow-88
- Mar 31, 2007
- Permalink
Awful
- sharontriplet
- Oct 8, 2005
- Permalink
Why?
One of the most horrible movies I've ever seen, if not the single most horrible. I have no idea why it was made.
The plot, possibly the best part of the film, was awful. It switched on and off between two extremes: either it was bizarre and confusing, or it was dull and predictable.
The acting would have made William Shatner sick to his stomach. The dialogue was written trite and cliché, and the delivery certainly didn't help. It was all strained, and in the rare case where there was emotion in a line, it was fake-sounding, and sometimes even the wrong emotion. It seemed like they were reading lines off the script for the first time. And the directing was just as bad. None of the motions that anybody made were natural-looking. Just a tip for the 'actors' in this film: if the camera is moving to try to (poorly) replicate the feel of a tossing boat, it's best not to just stand still, but to actually be tossed around. Especially if there's one actor who's moving around (albeit awkwardly) as if he's being tossed by the boat in the same room with you, at the same time that you're standing still! And the CGI was horrible. 'Nuff said there.
The plot, possibly the best part of the film, was awful. It switched on and off between two extremes: either it was bizarre and confusing, or it was dull and predictable.
The acting would have made William Shatner sick to his stomach. The dialogue was written trite and cliché, and the delivery certainly didn't help. It was all strained, and in the rare case where there was emotion in a line, it was fake-sounding, and sometimes even the wrong emotion. It seemed like they were reading lines off the script for the first time. And the directing was just as bad. None of the motions that anybody made were natural-looking. Just a tip for the 'actors' in this film: if the camera is moving to try to (poorly) replicate the feel of a tossing boat, it's best not to just stand still, but to actually be tossed around. Especially if there's one actor who's moving around (albeit awkwardly) as if he's being tossed by the boat in the same room with you, at the same time that you're standing still! And the CGI was horrible. 'Nuff said there.
- pensivepoetbabblingbard
- Feb 11, 2006
- Permalink
Craptacular Ineptapalooza!
I can not recommend this movie less. It is so stunningly beneath awful that it drops through the floor of the universe and comes out on top. If that makes sense. Which this movie does not.
In a nutshell, the story is a composite of Alien, Event Horizon, Leviathan, and Ghost Ship, with a knock-off crew from The Abyss and Armaggeddon. Seriously, you have seen this story many, many times before. And why is there always one guy with a cowboy hat?
Stilll, if you have a Roku box and time not spent on something more productive like porn, this movie offers so many unintentional laughs that it's really worth watching. It truly earns the Academy award for the very antithesis of good dialogue. And the casting? Ah, tres merdefique! The casting director's couch is still sweating Astroglide and incompetence. Personal favorite is the hottie "professor" that might be old enough to vote 5 years from now.
In the end though, it's the horrendous CGI that truly lowers the bar for all. Rendered at some resolution so low it must be measured in Kelvin, the creature is a testimonial to any 12-year-old with a dream, and a pirated copy of After Effects.
In a nutshell, the story is a composite of Alien, Event Horizon, Leviathan, and Ghost Ship, with a knock-off crew from The Abyss and Armaggeddon. Seriously, you have seen this story many, many times before. And why is there always one guy with a cowboy hat?
Stilll, if you have a Roku box and time not spent on something more productive like porn, this movie offers so many unintentional laughs that it's really worth watching. It truly earns the Academy award for the very antithesis of good dialogue. And the casting? Ah, tres merdefique! The casting director's couch is still sweating Astroglide and incompetence. Personal favorite is the hottie "professor" that might be old enough to vote 5 years from now.
In the end though, it's the horrendous CGI that truly lowers the bar for all. Rendered at some resolution so low it must be measured in Kelvin, the creature is a testimonial to any 12-year-old with a dream, and a pirated copy of After Effects.
Just Plain Lousy
Thank God it was only a rental. First off the acting was just horrible. The plot is the overused "alien in a meteor wants to kill everybody" story that just makes me think that no one put any real effort into making a halfway decent movie. The obligatory nudity comes in the form of a 5 minute strip act. This was probably added to take the viewers mind off what they were watching for a few minutes. But I would have rather have the movie be that much shorter.
But the worst part is (as always) the monster itself. The current trend of movies being filled with CGI is a good thing if it's done right. Here it's done very wrong. The Monster CGI is atrocious. Simply put: Nintendo games have more convincing monsters. There's a scene near the end where a tentacle come out of a person's mouth to strangle another victim. The animation was not even lined up with the film properly.
Do yourself a favor and don't even bother with this movie.
But the worst part is (as always) the monster itself. The current trend of movies being filled with CGI is a good thing if it's done right. Here it's done very wrong. The Monster CGI is atrocious. Simply put: Nintendo games have more convincing monsters. There's a scene near the end where a tentacle come out of a person's mouth to strangle another victim. The animation was not even lined up with the film properly.
Do yourself a favor and don't even bother with this movie.
- pershing2006
- Sep 27, 2005
- Permalink
Pretty much a basic rehashing of 1981's Intruder Within, but not as good
Bad movie!
Not the worst movie I've ever seen, but in the top 10. Acting was not very believable and character development left me wondering "who cares"? To many cliché stereotypes...evil government men, unemotional doctor, some sort of sibling rivalry (I think), etc. I actually fast-forwarded thru several scenes just to get on with it. The sets and props were low budget and I think in one scene, the camera actually showed an adjoining set as it panned to view the actors. I think the producers threw in some 'sexual content' just because they needed a hook or kill some movie time. The plot could have been interesting, but the way the story line developed with the uninteresting characters, watching it was like slogging knee-deep thru a swamp.
Amazing movie if looking for a drunk bad movie night
Don't get me wrong, this movie is absolutely terrible. However, if you attach a drinking game to this film, it's an absolute gem. It has everything, terrible cgi, takes itself too seriously, incredibly cliché, absolutely nonsensical logic decisions and explanations, a surprisingly explicit nonsensical sex scene that comes out of absolutely nowhere. Honestly I think this movie was made by some armatures, scrapped the project, sold the footage to Hellfire Productions and then they edited and reshot it into this amazing train wreck. If you love watching bad movies with your friends with a bottle of hard liquor next to you, this is the movie for you. We followed just these rules, and I had to get multiple refills: bad monster cgi, explosions, one liners, unnecessary sex scene, nonsensical explanation, and weird music choice. Again, really terrible movie, but really fun to rip apart while drunk with friends.
- monteorlins
- Jul 30, 2022
- Permalink
wow bad bad film
God awful
- DormentDragon
- May 1, 2006
- Permalink
pick any synonym for pathetic, disgrace, and ridicule.
I was watching The Movie Channel last night and I stumbled upon this title: The Thing Below. Sounded like a good movie because I'm in to horror and gore. The very first time I saw the visual effects and horribly lame acting, I asked myself: WHAT THE @#$% AM I LOOKING AT?!?!? I kid you not this movie has some of the most cheesiest visual effects and acting. If anyone reads this and decides to waste their 94 minutes on a piece of crap like this, then copy everyone's reviews from this movie and read them while you're watching it.
In my honest opinion, even Uwe Boll could of done it better. Don't waste your precious time on something that could've had more time put into it.
In my honest opinion, even Uwe Boll could of done it better. Don't waste your precious time on something that could've had more time put into it.
A Pearl in Reverse
- PeterGriffinLives
- Apr 27, 2007
- Permalink