G-Force

G-Force should be titled C-Forced for "cute forced"—a witless, partially animated adventure about a team of talking guinea pigs working for the FBI to stop a billionaire from ruling the world with Jerry-Bruckheimer-like household appliances, currently patterned after Mr. B's transformers.

If the plot doesn't anesthetize you, the wasting of Bill Nighy as the crazed mogul will depress you because he has not one line to capitalize on his considerable sardonic delivery. And except for a fly buzzing in and out of the 3-D frame, that process doesn't distract from the banality of the film.

I suppose a few in the preview audience laughed occasionally, but I was too preoccupied with the feeling that g-forces were strapping me into the seat so I couldn't bolt before the next near-cute animal came onto the scene.

At least now I know the difference between a guinea pig, a gerbil, and a g-string, or I think I can identify at least one of those.

So it's summer--Kristin Dreyer Kramer reminds me kids need mindless entertainment once in a while in the summer, too. Since I am a kid at heart, I'll do that.