The Dwelling

Buxom scream dream, Michelle Bauer and a spectacularly sleazy, Burt Ward star in, Jeffrey Lynn Ward's entertaining skid row Satanic schlocker 'The Dwelling'. Amiable country rube, Andy (Donny Valenti) enrols into college, and rents a skeevey-looking L. A apartment managed by titanic tool, Crasmire (Burt Ward), his growing sense of estrangement sweetened by some meet-cute shenanigans with his bodacious neighbour Pam (Michelle Bauer). Andy is disturbed by sinister scuttling from the ostensibly vacant above him which fatefully foreshadows his crude capture by the cowl-wearing cultist creeps in apartment 33! Low on shocks, high on yucks, 'The Dwelling' features some sleazily distracting T & A, plentiful smoke-slathered cornball deviltry, and, as always, Michelle Bauer delivers another pristine performance far brighter than this gleefully grubby film deserves!

There's an endearing, Ray Dennis Steckler/Al Adamson quality to this low rent Luciferian lunacy that tweaked all my B-Movie buttons the right way! By all rights this should be a flushable, odoriferously unpalatable turd-cake, and, yet, 'The Dwelling' inadvertently provides some next-level bad movie jocularity! The heroically unfiltered hamming by, Burt Ward as the irascible, devil worshipping landlord, Crasmire is a masterclass of pantomime absurdity! Michelle Bauer fans should get an unholy kick out of her toothsome, Top-Popping,sinfully salacious, manhood masticating, scenery chewing succubus! Pentagrams, cockroaches, switchblade hookers, white bread Satanic cops, Nunchuck gangs, and douchey jocks, hey! It's just another f'd up night in Hollyweird!

The only real point of interest in this bland film is the presence of Burt Ward who played Robin in the camp Batman series of the sixties. He's the manager of a block of apartments where our hero rents one. Small town farm boy who has moved to the big city (LA)to find fame and fortune,etc.Most of the film is taken up with his trials and errors as he tries to find a job,loses his wallet,runs out of money,etc. He befriends his good looking neighbour and her controlling boyfriend and starts to hear noises from the room above which is supposed to be empty. Finally after what seems an eternity,he finds out there is actually a devil worshipping cult using the flat,there are inserts during the film where they kill and do rituals but it's all random and doesn't make a great deal of sense really.

Cue our hero getting it off with the neighbour before she is abducted by the cult to be used in one of their nonsensical rituals. There is a grand finale but to be honest I'd forgotten the denouncement about half an hour after the film had finished...

Burt Ward is really the only professional actor and that's stretching it a bit too. I always think when there is a lot of topless women and full nudity all the way through a supposed horror film that the filmmakers know their product is rubbish and have to include that to keep viewers (i.e.men) interest.

This type of devil cult stuff has been so many times before and so much better too.