Postal (2007)

Lindsay Hollister: Recorder

Quotes 

• Blither : [Dude has just seen the decapitated heads on some spikes]  I see you noticed the heads. Motivational. Those are every fucking bastard I had to climb over to get this job.

  Dude : [Shocked]  Jesus...

  Blither : [laughs]  Foul. They're paper mache. Heh-

  [to Recorder] 

  Blither : He thought they were real.

  [chuckles; then, to Dude] 

  Blither : Sit down.

  [Dude sits down as he notices one of the 'fake heads' bleeding] 

  Blither : Let's get started. Now, I hope you don't mind the recording. We're gonna use it as training later.

  [Dude is struggling to sit straight on a seemingly broken chair as Blither is telling him this] 

  Blither : What the fuck is wrong with you?

  Dude : Uh, it's, uh, the chair is...

  Blither : [Interrupting]  Alright, we're on a time clock. So let's get started, alright?

  Dude : Alright. Well... so, uh, I'm here for the job, sir.

  Blither : [looking through Dude's resume]  Right, you're a factory worker.

  Dude : I WAS a factory worker, but the factory got closed down. So, I got laid off.

  Blither : I have interviewed fifteen other people for this job. What makes you think you're better than them?

  Dude : Well, I don't know if I am better than them...

  Blither : Well, god damn it, pal! If you want this job, you better reach out and grab it! You better put those fucking heads on the wall!

  [pause] 

  Blither : You know what? Fuck it, let's go to questions.

  Recorder : What is your greatest strength?

  Dude : Uh... I'm a really good team player.

  Recorder : Wrong.

  [Types for a while] 

  Recorder : What is your greatest weakness?

  Dude : Uh, I'd say I work too hard.

  [chuckles] 

  Recorder : Wrong.

  [Types again] 

  Recorder : How would you move a mountain using only a spoon?

  Dude : A spoon?

  Recorder : If you were in a box, how would you think outside it?

  [Dude starts to think of an answer] 

  Recorder : Wrong.

  [Types again] 

  Recorder : Last question: What is the difference between a duck?

  Dude : [Long awkward pause]  And...

  [Another pause; Dude is waiting for more to the question, but nothing. Then, Dude stands up in frustration] 

  Dude : What the hell is wrong with you people? A wha- a duck? I don- I came here for a job! A JOB! As far as I know, that job has nothing to do with a cocksucking, motherfucking DUCK!

  Blither : [after a long pause]  Congratulations, pal. You're our leading candidate. How does it feel?

  Dude : [Surprised]  It feels good?

  Blither : No, no, no. How does it feel, huh? How does it feel? I mean, how does it feel to put fucking fifteen heads on that wall? I'll tell you how it feels! It feels fucking great, doesn't it? It feels fucking great.

  [Starts making pelvic thrusts] 

  Dude : [Excited]  So, I got it! I got the job!

  Blither : Oh, hell no. No, no, no, this is just a getting-to-know-you interview. We still have some more, uh, one hundred and twenty? Yeah, some more candidates, but hell of a start, though.