Chevy Chase credited as playing...
Ted Roark
- Ted Roark: Put him in the helicopter. Kill the CIA agent.
- Steve Bartowski: He's my son.
- Ted Roark: He's your son? Congratulations! That's great! I had no idea! Kill the son.
- Ted Roark: Of course, if this doesn't work, I'm afraid I'm going to have to go back to that bit where I kill everybody.
- Chuck Bartowski: What if it does work?
- Ted Roark: If it does work, same result. But you know, you should root for it. Nobody likes a cynic.
- Chuck Bartowski: Oh God, someone shoot me now.
- Ted Roark: I can help you with that, Chuck. A real shotgun wedding. Just think. That terrible pun is the last thing you'll ever hear.