Megamind (2010)
Jonah Hill: Tighten
Photos
Quotes
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[a giant hologram of Megamind's head appears in the sky above Metro City]
Megamind : YOU DARE CHALLENGE MEGAMIND?
Titan : This town isn't big enough for TWO super-villains!
Megamind : Oh, you're a villain, alright! Just not a SUPER one!
Titan : Oh, yeah? What's the difference?
[Megamind's giant hologram head opens its mouth and from the inside appears Megamind]
Megamind : PRESENTATION!
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Titan : [on TV] Hey, Metro losers! This is Metro Tower! They say it's supposed to be a symbol of our city's strength...
[shows Roxanne tied to the tower]
Titan : ...but for me, it's a reminder of the day this woman ferociously ripped out my heart! And I hate reminders!
[rips out part of the tower's foundation, swaying it]
Roxanne Ritchi : HAL! Please don't do this. I know there's still good in you, Hal...
Titan : You're so naive, Roxy. You see the good in everyone, even when it's not there. You're living a fantasy. There is no Easter Bunny. There is no Tooth Fairy. There is no Queen of England. This is the real world, and you need to wake up!
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Megamind : I can't believe you! All your gifts, and you squander them for your own personal gain?
Titan : Yes!
Megamind : No! I'm the villain, you're the good guy! I do something bad, then you come and get me! That's why I created you!
Titan : Yeah right, you're nuts! Space Dad told me...
Megamind : Look, I'm your Space Dad!
[transforms into Space Dad]
Megamind : You should be more like Metro Man.
Titan : [screams] You tricked me?
Megamind : Don't like that, hmm? Well there's more!
[transforms into Bernard as he slowly backs up into his giant robot battle suit]
Megamind : I'm also the intellectual dweeb dating Roxanne.
Titan : No!
Megamind : And we were smooching up a storm!
[makes kissing noises as he closes his giant robot battle suit]
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[Megamind flips TV channels in prison]
Titan : [on TV] Hey, Megamind, you and I have unfinished business! I'll be waiting at Metro Tower, oh, and just so you don't get cold feet...
[reveals a captured Roxanne]
Megamind : Roxanne!
Titan : Come on, Roxie, call for your hero to come rescue you!
Roxanne Ritchi : Megamind... I don't even know if you're listening... but if you are, you can't give up! The Megamind I know would NEVER run from a fight, even if he knew he had no chance of winning! It was your best quality!... You need to be that guy, RIGHT now. The City needs you... I need you.
Megamind : Roxanne...
Titan : You have one hour. DON'T keep me waiting!
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Hal : If I were Metro Man, Megamind wouldn't be kidnapping you all the time.
Roxanne Ritchi : Hmmm...?
Hal : And I'd be watching you, like a dingo watches a human baby!... Okay, that sounded a little creepy...
Roxanne Ritchi : JUST a little.
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Titan : [hitting Megamind] This is for stealing my girlfriend! This one's for Space Dad making a fool out of me! And Megamind, this one's for Space Stepmom! You lied to her!
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Megamind : Well done! I thought that battle went really, really well! I mean, I have a few notes...
Titan : Notes?
Megamind : But they can wait. You can take me to jail now.
Titan : Oh no no no, I was thinking more like the morgue! You're dead!
Megamind : Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! This isn't how you play the game...!
Titan : GAME OVER!
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Roxanne Ritchi : Happy Metro Man Day, Metro City! It's a beautiful day in beautiful downtown, where we're here to honour a beautiful man: Metro Man. His heart is an ocean that's inside a bigger ocean. For years, he's been watching us with his super-vision, saving us with his super-strength and caring for us with his super-heart. Now it's our turn to give something back. This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting live from the dedication of the Metro Man Museum.
[gestures to her cameraman Hal to cut]
Hal : Wow. Okay, the stuff they make you read on air, that's un-freaking-believable! It's crazy!
Roxanne Ritchi : I wrote that piece myself, Hal!
Hal : What I was trying to say WAS, I can't believe that in our modern society, they let like, actual art get onto the news!
Roxanne Ritchi : Nice save, Hal.
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[fleeing from Titan]
Megamind : I'm calling time out! Time out! Time out!
[the chaos from the chase causes an oil tanker to explode, throwing Megamind onto the road]
Megamind : Brain bots! Initiate the failsafe!
[Titan is about to punch Megamind, when a round, hollow shell lands on top of Titan, trapping him]
Megamind : [laughs] Guess what, Buster Brown? It's made from copper! You're powerless against it! It's the very same metal used to defeat...
[Titan punches a hole in the sphere]
Megamind : ...Metro Man?
Titan : [rips himself free] You should stop comparing me to Metro Man!
[Titan throws the sphere at Megamind]
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Hal : Who are you?
Megamind : I sent you to this planet to teach you about honor, justice, and nobility. I am your father.
Hal : So... you're like my space dad?
Megamind : ...Yeah. I'm like your space dad.
Hal : [to Minion] And you are... what?
Minion : I'm your space stepmom! I've had some work done recently.
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[Titan tosses Roxanne over a building]
Titan : [catching Roxanne] What were you saying? I'm sorry, I was too busy saving your life!
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Titan : Whoa, you almost died but I saved you!
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Titan : I'm the superhero, you're supposed to be with ME!
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[last lines]
Titan : [dancing in prison] I'm bad! I'm bad! That's right! YEAH!
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Titan : [to Roxanne] You never got to know me!
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Titan : Look at us, we're fighting like an old married couple!
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Megamind : [disguised as Space Dad] Do you have someone special in your life, Hal?
Hal : No, not yet. But, there's this really, really good-looking one I've got my eye on currently.
[uses his super vision to check up on Roxanne]
Megamind : That's very good. Romance is very inspiring.
Hal : That's what I hear.
Megamind : All you have to do is save her, and she'll be yours.
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Titan : Enjoy your flight!
[hurls Megamind into the air]
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Hal : What's wrong with me? "Rented a bouncy house?" Chicks don't like bouncy houses! They like clowns!
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Titan : I think you and I should team up.
Megamind : Wait, what?
Titan : Yeah! With my strength and your big-headedness, we could rule Metro City! I even drew up some new costume designs, see?
[holds out some drawings]
Titan : You'd be the brain, so you'd get a little brain wearing glasses on your costume or something. And since I'm the cool one, I'd have, like, two tanks sword-fighting...