Eric & Ernie (2011 TV Movie)
Daniel Rigby: Eric Morecambe
Quotes
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Eric Morecambe : Was it dark?
Ernie Wise : Was what dark?
Eric Morecambe : Hiding in Churchill's cigar box until the War was over.
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[Arthur is being carried off stage]
Ernie Wise : Poor Arthur.
Eric Morecambe : He must've tripped over Des O'Connor.
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Eric Morecambe : What do you think of it so far?
Audience Member : Rubbish!
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[Eric and Ernie have just done their first television show and it has received very poor newspaper reviews. Even Eric's mother thinks it was a disaster]
Sadie Bartholomew : [shouting] I can't show me face outside the house! I think we're going to have to move! I told you time and time again to trust your own material! I drummed it into you! And what do you do the moment me back's turned? You forget *everything*!
[Eric walks off and finds his dad sitting alone]
Eric Morecambe : Can I borrow your bike?
George Bartholomew : Where are you planning on going?
Eric Morecambe : Anywhere that they don't have televisions.
George Bartholomew : You could try Barrow-on-Furness. You'll soon be back - people'll forget.
Eric Morecambe : They won't forget this.
[Eric shows George a newspaper cutting of a TV critic's article]
Eric Morecambe : Here, read that.
George Bartholomew : "Definition of a TV - the box they buried Morecambe and Wise in last night". You know what I think. There's nothing harder to find than yesterday's paper.
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[Eric and his mother discuss the disastrous TV series]
Sadie Bartholomew : How long are you going to keep this up - this sulking malarkey. You used to sulk when I made you wear that schoolboy outfit - right up till when it got you a big laugh.
Eric Morecambe : Television isn't about dressing up as a schoolboy and singing, you know.
Sadie Bartholomew : Well it certainly isn't about being funny. Not if what I saw you two do is anything to go by.
Eric Morecambe : [sarcastically] Don't go easy on me just because we're related, will you.
Sadie Bartholomew : I don't know how to soft-pedal - it's not in me nature.
Eric Morecambe : You don't have to tell me that.
Sadie Bartholomew : I'm hard on you because you and Ernie are better than that. When I saw you on that television show, doing that *tripe*... Biggest break? Your chance? You forgot everything. You and Ernie *know* what's funny. You know what plays funny, you know what tells funny. You must have known deep-down that material was not funny.
Eric Morecambe : What d'you want me to say?
Sadie Bartholomew : You could start by telling me I'm right.
[Ernie is lost for words. He knows his mother is right but he can't admit it]
Eric Morecambe : I'm sorry if you feel we've let you down.
Sadie Bartholomew : I'll get over it. Will you?
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Usherette : So, what went wrong with the telly show, lads?
Eric Morecambe : Scripts, cast, music, director, lighting.
Usherette : Apart from that, it were great, eh?