- Liz tries to keep a judgmental Jack away from her new boyfriend, Tracy begins an "idiot protest" in response to public comments made by Liz, and Kenneth and Jenna accidentally break a box of fluorescent lights in the storage closet.
- Drama erupts at TGS when a cell phone video leaks onto the web with Tracy Jordan on an offensive rant. Liz tries to do damage control. Meanwhile, Jack's refusal to approve of Liz's new boyfriend causes her to question the validity of her relationship. Kenneth and Jenna Maroney call on Kelsey Grammer when a problem arises that only the Best Friends Gang can handle.—NBC Publicity
- Open with Kelsey Grammer popping in to Liz's office to tell him there is something wrong with Pete. She finds Pete lying on the floor with a plastic bag over his hands, no pants on, and a magazine on his chest.
EIGHT HOURS EARLIER
Jenna wants Kenneth to help her replace a light bulb in her dressing room.
We see Liz at home with her new boyfriend of three months. Things seem to be going very well, with him giving her the gender-neutral doll she played with as a child. They plan to stay home and have pancakes, but Liz sees on TV that Tracy has angered gay rights organizations with some recent comments.
Liz goes to work and walks by a protest against Tracy and the show.
In the office Pete tells Liz that TGS is losing sponsors because of Tracy. Liz finds out that Tracy's comments were that "being gay is stupid. If you want to see a penis, take off your pants. If I got turned into a gay, I'd sit around all day and look at my own junk." She tells him the dumb things he says have an impact and he needs to apologize. He says he's tired of apologizing for being himself, and gives her permission to write his statement.
In an attempt to find out about Liz's new secret boyfriend, Jack asks her to be "friends with benefits." He slowly starts to pull information from her about the guy: His name is Criss and he is living with her while he tries to get funding for his organic gourmet hot dog truck. She didn't want to tell him about Criss because she knew he wouldn't approve. Jack thinks that down deep she knows he's right about the guy.
Kenneth tells Jenna that the maintenance guy won't replace her light bulb until Tracy apologizes -- they'd have to figure it out themselves. Only maintenance is allowed in the supply room, but Jenna has to have her special fluorescents.
Apologizing on behalf of Tracy, Liz writes that Tracy is "just an idiot who doesn't know what he's saying." This upsets Tracy, who walks into the writers' room and smashes the TV on which he saw the report. He feels humiliated and is going to organize a protest on behalf of all idiots.
Tracy's rant compels Pete to go into his "Hornberger Crisis Mode," during which he takes sleeping pills with scotch and passes out in his secret napping place.
Jenna and Kenneth get into the supply room. Kenneth drops the entire box of lights. They read on the box that the bulbs contain mercury and people should not be around them if they break. They leave to get trash bags and we see Pete stagger in after them to take a nap.
While having lunch with Criss, Liz sees a ghostlike version of Jack in the background making fun of just about everything he has and does, such as Criss's thumb ring tan line and Sunglass Hut credit card.
Liz walks by Tracy's idiot protest, which Denise Richards has joined as its celebrity spokesperson. All the members of the idiot community are present -- including frat guys, "the tramp-stamped," the anti-vaccination community and people who won't shut up about scuba diving.
Liz wants Jack to tell her he approves of Criss. But he won't approve him without meeting him. But she won't let him meet Criss, since she knows he'll never approve. In reference to Tracy's protest, Jack points out that Liz needs idiots, because they make up the largest demographic of TGS viewers.
Kenneth and Jenna return to the supply room and find an unresponsive Pete sitting in a chair. They are worried his condition is because of mercury. Kenneth wants to call an ambulance, but Jenna says she has too much to lose if this becomes a scandal. Jenna doesn't know how to help Pete, but she knows someone who does. She calls Kelsey Grammer.
Liz leaves a voicemail for Tracy. Criss Skypes Liz and tells her that he's found an investor and shows her the $10,000 check he received. To Liz's horror, the investor is Jack, who wrote on the check, "I used your bathroom."
TO BE CONTINUED
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