- Finnegan: Have you noticed whenever we're around baseball all we talk about is pussy. Now, we're actually around a few potentially interesting young women, all you talk about is baseball. It's a little fucked up!
- Roper: [singing] I'm Rope a Dope. A proud Cherokee. I stay busy chopping girls' cherry trees. I'll show you my buns if the booze is free. Hands on the wheel and fondue my cheese. Hey, ladies, please pass me another. I'm not a rubber lover glover, I don't need no love buffer. I'ma do like Pete Ward and go undercover. Make a sister leave a brother. We goin' make a little trouble.
- McReynolds: [exhales, speaking] You're the new guy?
- Dale: [resuming song] Dale Douglas! Flier than a Cutlass Supreme. Southeast Texas Cherokees. We the team. Finn, me, and Coma. We got Mac in between. Number one position player. Make these girls wanna scream. Wakin' up in a dream. Lucid so sweet. We make you toothless. To put it plain and simple. We the cream of the crop. Cherokees are never leavin' the top. Douglas.
- Willoughby: My name is Wiiloughby. I know the master plan. I got the sun and the stars in the palm of my hand. Carl Sagan knows the universe is eternal. I'm gonna burn this down till my brain's a kernel.
- Finnegan: Dr. Finnegan, so epicurean. Indulge in the BMOC. There's only one thing bigger than my IQ. And it stops around my knee. Let me drop a Finnegism and make a Finnegasm. Expand the universe. Make it shudder and spasm. 'Cause when you party like a savage. Speak like a poet. You cha-chao before you even know it.
- Brumley: [rapping in fast monotone] Hey, guys. The name's Alex Brumley. I'm gonna break it to you fresh. All the guys around here punch me. 'Cause they know that I'm the best. It's my first days of college. I'm just trying to fit in. So won't you come with me and please be my friend? Please?
- Nesbit: Brumley, shut the fuck up!
- [sings]
- Nesbit: Now, I'm Nesbit. No shame with no game. I'm throwing money down the drain like no thing. The best in a-gambling. Nesbit's a-rambling. Submarine pitch. And the Mac can't handle it. Cherokee chow. Coo-coo-capow in Texas. With the cactus and cows. Amityville? More like Amity-vile. Sick to the bone but we come with style.
- Coma: So they call Coma. Told the girl "hop on." Throwing cheers to my boys. 'Cause I'm a superstitious fella. Known to get a little drunk. But I'm here to make some noise.
- Jay: Master plan for a higher man. Do it all wrong. Don't fuck it up to make it all right. Drink my cup. Schlong as long as the Nile's bong. Hit it, bitch, I'm 95 strong. I'm the raw dog. Rawest of raw. Four screwdrivers. One fat straw, baby!
- Plummer: My name's Tyrone but they call me Plum. I call the whole game but they call me dumb. Beer for breakfast. My Cap'n Crunch. Spread your girl's legs and then I have lunch.
- Beuter: [rapping the last lines] Well, hey, oh hey. This will make your day. Boy, they call me Billy A. I like to chew and a-spit. And throw a ball a little bit. Boy, you better stay out of my way.
- Jake: Enough with that, Jake here. Just a chill dude. I'll sweep you off your feet. No need to be crude. If I sense any question. I'll put you to the test. If it's a crime to be sexy then you're under arrest.
- Beuter: You talkin' to me?
- Jake: No, can't you see?
- Beuter: Well, who you talking to?
- Jake: Uh, dude, not you.
- Beuter: Well, okay, dude, you kinda rude. I ain't really a fan of that attitude.
- Jake: As I was saying before Billy interrupted. We just having good times, baby. Nothing too corrupted. If you need a little insight on who I am. Let me break it down for you right now with my jam. Unlike Finn I don't drop to the knee. 'Cause I got a bigger secret I drop to my feet. I'm the kinda guy that'll meet you after class. Take pride in my pitching. Like Rope and his ass. Now, come over here with those luscious thighs. I'll make you feel loved while Willy's getting high.
- [fade out]
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