- Jacob Kowalski: Uh, Mr. Scamander?
- Newt Scamander: Oh, call me Newt.
- Jacob Kowalski: Newt. I don't think I'm dreaming.
- Newt Scamander: [mildly amused] What gave it away?
- Jacob Kowalski: I ain't got the brains to make this up.
- Newt Scamander: I need to get going. Find everyone who's escaped before they get hurt.
- Jacob Kowalski: Before *they* get hurt?
- Newt Scamander: Yes, Mr. Kowalski. For they're currently in alien terrain surrounded by millions of the most vicious creatures on the planet:
- [pauses]
- Newt Scamander: humans.
- Jacob Kowalski: [standing at the apparently empty bar] How does a guy get a drink in this joint?
- [a bottle pops off the shelf and flies into his hand]
- Bartender: [behind the bar] What? Ain't you ever seen a house-elf before?
- Jacob Kowalski: [covering] Oh, no, no, of course I have. I love house-elves. My uncle's a house elf.
- Bartender: [scoffs] Yeah...
- Newt Scamander: [hands Jacob a helmet] Put this on.
- Jacob Kowalski: But why would I have to wear something like this?
- Newt Scamander: Because your skull is susceptible to breakage under immense force.
- [from trailer]
- Porpentina Goldstein: You wiped his memory, right? The No-Maj.
- Newt Scamander: The what?
- Porpentina Goldstein: No magic. The non-wizard!
- Newt Scamander: Sorry. We call them Muggles.
- Jacob Kowalski: [talking to himself] What did you do today, Jacob?
- [laughs]
- Jacob Kowalski: I was inside a suitcase.
- Jacob Kowalski: Did... Did you say school? Is there a school? A wizardry school here in, uh, America?
- Queenie: Of course. Ilvermorny. It's only *the* best wizard school *in* the whole world.
- Newt Scamander: I think you'll find that the best wizarding school in the world is Hogwarts.
- Queenie: [incredulous and semi-insulted] Hogwash.
- Newt Scamander: [as he is strapping body protection on to Jacob] Now there's absolutely nothing for you to worry about.
- Jacob Kowalski: Tell me, has anyone ever believed you when you told them not to worry?
- Newt Scamander: Well, my philosophy is that worrying means you suffer twice.
- Percival Graves: You're an interesting man, Mr. Scamander.
- Porpentina Goldstein: Mr. Graves...
- Percival Graves: [silences her with a finger] You were thrown out of Hogwarts for endangering human life...
- Newt Scamander: That was an accident.
- Percival Graves: ...with a beast. Yet one of your teachers argued strongly against your expulsion. Now... what makes Albus Dumbledore... so fond of you?
- Newt Scamander: People like you, don't they, Mr. Kowalski?
- Jacob Kowalski: Oh. Well, I'm, uh, I'm sure people like you, too, huh?
- Newt Scamander: Not really, no. I annoy people.
- [Porpentina Goldstein sees Newt Scamander close the case as she walks in]
- Porpentina Goldstein: It was open?
- Newt Scamander: Just a smidge.
- [from trailer]
- Gnarlack: So you're the guy with the case full of monsters, huh?
- Newt Scamander: News travels fast.
- Jacob Kowalski: You, uh, you know how to read minds?
- Queenie: Oh, don't worry, honey. Most guys think what you was thinking first time they see me.
- Jacob Kowalski: [yells to Newt while holding an egg that Newt lost] Hey! Mr. English Guy! I think your egg is hatching.
- [Newt pulls Jacob forward with his wand and transports them to an isolated place]
- Jacob Kowalski: [about to lose his memory] Hey. This is for the best. Yeah. I-I was... I was never even supposed to be here. I was never supposed to know... a-any of this. Everybody knows Newt only kept me around because... Hey, Newt, why did you keep me around?
- Newt Scamander: Because I like you. Because you're my friend. And I'll never forget how you helped me, Jacob.
- Newt Scamander: [as a lion appears in the street] You know, New York is *considerably* more interesting that I'd expected.
- Porpentina Goldstein: Mr. Scamander, do you know, anything about the wizarding community in America?
- Newt Scamander: I do know a few things, actually. I know that you have rather backwards laws about relations with non-magic people... That you're not meant to befriend them, that you can't marry them, which seems mildly absurd to me.
- Newt Scamander: [to Jacob and Queenie] You two, head that way. And try very hard not to be predictable.
- Porpentina Goldstein: And you were just in Equatorial Guinea?
- Newt Scamander: And I've just completed a year in the fields. I'm writing a book about magical creatures.
- Porpentina Goldstein: Like an extermination guide?
- Newt Scamander: No. A guide to help people understand why we should be protecting these creatures instead of killing them.
- Customs Official: First trip to New York?
- Newt Scamander: Yes.
- Customs Official: Anything edible in there?
- Newt Scamander: No.
- Customs Official: Livestock?
- [a creature in his suitcase opens one of its latches]
- Newt Scamander: Must get that fixed. Um... No.
- Customs Official: Let me take a look.
- [Newt moves a latch on his suitcase that switches it to "Muggle Worthy"]
- Customs Official: [Customs Official opens up Newt's suitcase and we see it contains his clothes]
- Customs Official: Welcome to New York.
- Mr. Abernathy: Queenie! Where you going?
- Queenie: I, uh... I'm sick, Mr. Abernathy.
- [fake cough]
- Mr. Abernathy: Again?
- [from trailer]
- Porpentina Goldstein: Mr. Scamander, do you know anything about the wizarding community in America? We don't like things loose.
- Queenie: [referring to Newt and Jacob] Teenie, you brought men home.
- Porpentina Goldstein: Gentlemen, this is my sister. Wanna put something on, Queenie?
- Queenie: Oh, sure.
- [Queenie has a dress float over and puts it on while Jacob watches]
- Queenie: So, who are they?
- Porpentina Goldstein: That's Mr. Scamander. He's committed a *serious* infraction of the National Statute of *Secrecy*.
- Queenie: He's a criminal?
- Porpentina Goldstein: Uh-huh. And that's Mr. Kowalski. He's a No-Maj.
- Queenie: A No-Maj?
- [whispers]
- Queenie: Teen, what are you up to?
- Porpentina Goldstein: He's sick. It's a long story. Mr. Scamander has lost something I'm going to help him find.
- [last lines]
- [Jacob Kowalski now has his own bakery, "Kowalski." He is surrounded by pastries which resemble the magical creatures he encountered on his journey with Newt Scamander]
- Female Customer in Bakery: Where'd you get your ideas from, Mr. Kowalski?
- Jacob Kowalski: I don't know. I don't know.
- [chuckles]
- Jacob Kowalski: They just come. Here you go. Don't forget this. Enjoy. Hey! Hendry.
- [hands a staffer some keys]
- Jacob Kowalski: Storage, all right? Thanks, pal.
- [the doorbell jingles and Jacob turns to see an alluring woman. It's Queenie, who turns to smile at him. Though all his memory of her are supposed to be erased, something sparks in his eyes which may be recognition. He reaches to his neck where he was bitten by the Murtlap and smiles]
- Seraphina Picquery: He was responsible for the death of a No-Maj. He risked the exposure of our community. He has broken one of our most sacred laws...
- Percival Graves: A law that has us scuttling like rats in the gutter! A law that demands we conceal our true nature! A law that directs those under its dominion to cower in fear lest we risk discovery! I ask you, Madam President, I ask all of you... Who does this law protect? Us? Or them?
- [smiles bitterly]
- Percival Graves: I refuse to bow down any longer.
- Porpentina Goldstein: [after she and Newt capture a beast] Tell me the truth. Was that everything that came out of the case?
- Newt Scamander: You're a Legilimens?
- Queenie: Mmm. Yeah. But I always have trouble with your kind. Brits. It's the accent.
- Porpentina Goldstein: Graves always insisted the disturbances were caused by a beast. We need to catch all your creatures so he can't keep using them as a scapegoat.
- Newt Scamander: There's only one still missing. Dougal, my Demiguise.
- Porpentina Goldstein: [amused] Dougal?
- Newt Scamander: Slight problem is that, um, he's invisible.
- Porpentina Goldstein: Invisible?
- Newt Scamander: Yes. Most of the time. He does, um...
- Porpentina Goldstein: How do you catch something...
- Newt Scamander: With immense difficulty.
- Queenie: Are all No-Majs like you?
- Jacob Kowalski: [suave] No, I'm the only one like me.
- [He knocks back a shot of Gigglewater, and immediately lets out a high-pitched bark of laughter]
- [as a Billywig zips around them]
- Porpentina Goldstein: What was that?
- Newt Scamander: Uh, moth, I think. Big moth.
- Percival Graves: So setting a pack of dangerous creatures loose here was just another accident, is that right?
- Newt Scamander: Why would I do it deliberately?
- Percival Graves: To expose wizardkind. To provoke war between the magical and non-magical worlds.
- Newt Scamander: [scoffs] Mass slaughter for the greater good, you mean?
- Percival Graves: Yes, quite.
- Newt Scamander: I'm not one of Grindelwald's fanatics, Mr Graves.
- Porpentina Goldstein: [Newt prepares to wipe Jacob's memory] You can't Obliviate him. We need him as a witness.
- Newt Scamander: I'm sorry, you just yelled at me the length of New York for not doing it in the first place.
- Queenie: I'll come with you. We'll go somewhere. We'll go anywhere. See, I ain't never gonna find anyone like you.
- Jacob Kowalski: There's loads like me.
- Queenie: No. No. There's only one like you.
- Jacob Kowalski: Sorry, Mr. Gnarlack...
- [punches Gnarlack in the face, knocking him to the floor]
- Jacob Kowalski: Reminds me of my foreman!
- Newt Scamander: You can tell me to mind my business, but I saw something in that death potion back there. I saw you hugging that Second Salem boy.
- Porpentina Goldstein: His name's Credence. His mother beats him. She beats all those kids she's adopted, but she seems to hate him the most.
- Newt Scamander: And she was the No-Maj you attacked?
- Porpentina Goldstein: That's how I lost my job. I went for her in front of a meeting of her crazy followers. They all had to be Obliviated. It was a big scandal.
- Porpentina Goldstein: Madam President, I'm sorry to interrupt, but this is critical...
- [looks around to all the people in the room]
- Seraphina Picquery: You better have an excellent excuse for this intrusion, Ms. Goldstein.
- Porpentina Goldstein: Yes. I do. Ma'am, yesterday a wizard entered New York with a case, this case, full of magical creatures. And, unfortunately, some have escaped.
- Seraphina Picquery: He arrived yesterday?
- [Tina nods]
- Seraphina Picquery: You've known for twenty-four hours that an unregistered wizard set magical beasts loose in New York, and you see fit to tell us only when a man has been killed?
- Porpentina Goldstein: Who's been killed?
- Seraphina Picquery: Where is this man?
- [Tina sets the case down, unlatches it and then knocks]
- Jacob Kowalski: Can someone please tell me what this Obscurial... Obscurius thing is? Please?
- Porpentina Goldstein: There hasn't been one for centuries.
- Newt Scamander: I met one in Sudan three months ago. There used to be more of them, but they still exist. Before wizards went underground when we were still being hunted by Muggles, young wizards and witches sometimes tried to suppress their magic to avoid persecution. Instead of learning to harness or control their powers, they developed what was called an Obscurus.
- Porpentina Goldstein: It's an unstable, uncontrollable dark force that busts out and attacks. And then vanishes. Obscurials can't survive long, can they?
- Newt Scamander: There's no documented case of any Obscurial surviving past the age of ten. The one I met in Africa was eight when she... she was eight when she died.
- Jacob Kowalski: [incredulous] What are you telling me here? That Senator Shaw was killed by a... by a kid?
- Jacob Kowalski: What brings you here?
- Newt Scamander: Same as you.
- Jacob Kowalski: You're here to get a loan to open up a bakery?
- Newt Scamander: [distracted, looking for his Niffler] Yes.
- Jacob Kowalski: What are the odds of that?
- Jacob Kowalski: What the hell was that?
- Newt Scamander: Nothing that need concern you. Now, unfortunately, you have seen far too much. So if you wouldn't mind, if you just stand there, this will be over in a jiffy.
- Jacob Kowalski: Mm-hmm. Sure. Yeah. Okay.
- [he whoops Newt with his suitcase and flees]
- Jacob Kowalski: Sorry.
- Newt Scamander: [holding his head in pain] Bugger.