Le Crime de l'Orient-Express (2017)

Kenneth Branagh: Hercule Poirot

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Quotes 

• Edward Ratchett : You are a strange, peculiar man.

  Hercule Poirot : I am of an age where I know what I like and what I do not like. What I like, I enjoy enormously. What I dislike, I cannot abide. For instance, the temporary pleasantries before what is determined to be a business discussion.

  Edward Ratchett : You're fun.

• Hercule Poirot : [thinking as he walks through the train towards the bar car]  My Dear Colonel Armstrong, finally, I can answer your letter, at least with the thoughts in my head and the feeling in my heart that somewhere you can hear me. I have now discovered the truth of the case and it is profoundly disturbing. I have seen the fracture of the human soul. So many broken lives, so much pain and anger giving way to the poison of deep grief, until one crime became many. I have always wanted to believe that man is rational and civilized. My very existence depends upon this hope, upon order and method and the little grey cells... but now perhaps I am asked... to listen instead... to my heart.

  [pauses] 

  Hercule Poirot : [addressing the passengers in the bar car]  Ladies and gentlemen, I have understood in this case that the scales of justice... cannot always be evenly weighed. And I must learn for once, to live with the imbalance. There are no killers here, only people who deserve a chance to heal. The police have accepted my first solution to the crime: the lone assassin who made his escape. I will leave the train here to conclude formalities. You are all free to go. May you find your peace with this... May we all.

  [exits train] 

• Hercule Poirot : There was right. There was wrong. Now there is you. I cannot judge this. You must decide.

• British Military Escort : How did you know it was him, sir? From just a tiny crack on the wall?

  Hercule Poirot : I have the advantage. I can only see the world as it should be. And when it is not the imperfection stands out like the nose in the middle of a face. It... it makes most of life unbearable, but it is useful in the detection of crime.

  British Military Escort : But it's as though you see into their hearts and divine their true natures.

  Hercule Poirot : And whatever people say, there is right, there is wrong. There is nothing in between.

• Hercule Poirot : Whatever people say, there is right. There is wrong. There is nothing in-between.

• Hercule Poirot : I detect criminals. I do not protect them.

• Hercule Poirot : My name is Hercule Poirot and I am probably the greatest detective in the world.

• Hercule Poirot : I have the advantage. I can only see the world as it should be so the imperfections stand out.

• Hercule Poirot : Have you ever been to America?

  Edward Henry Masterman : Once. Years ago, briefly.

  Hercule Poirot : For what purpose?

  Edward Henry Masterman : To confirm a suspicion.

  Hercule Poirot : Which was?

  Edward Henry Masterman : That I wouldn't like it.

• Hercule Poirot : You tell your lies... and you think no one will know. But there are two people who will know. Yes, two people. Your God... and Hercule Poirot... It is time to solve this case.

• Bouc : You know, with your books and your capers, you are missing out on romance.

  Hercule Poirot : Romance never goes unpunished.

• Hercule Poirot : [having just stepped in animal droppings with one of his shoes]  It is not the, uh... it is the imbalance of the...

  [steps with his other shoe in the droppings] 

• Hercule Poirot : Bring forth the accused. The Rabbi. The Priest. And the Imam. It is like the - eh - the old joke. Yes? The Rabbi, the Priest, and the Imam. Ma, non. Forgive me, I am Belgian.

• Hercule Poirot : I see evil on this train.

• Miss Mary Debenham : To a man with a hammer, every problem is a nail. You live crime. You see evil every day.

  Hercule Poirot : Not so. I see enough crime to know that the criminal act is the anomaly. I believe it takes a fracture of the soul to murder another human being.

• Hercule Poirot : The killer is mocking me. Good. His first mistake.

• Hercule Poirot : If there was a murder; then, there was a murderer. The murderer is with us - on the train - now.

• Hercule Poirot : You know, there is something about a tangle of strangers pressed together for days with nothing in common but the need to go from one place to another and never see each other again.

• Caroline Hubbard : [Hubbard gasps as Poirot almost runs into her as he boards train]  Oh!

  Hercule Poirot : Apologies, madame, I meant no disrespect.

  Caroline Hubbard : [says flirtatiously]  Well, you could try to mean a little.

  [chuckles] 

• [after an avalanche derails the train] 

  Hercule Poirot : [crawls out of his compartment]  Did we die?

• Hercule Poirot : We seek the truth from within, not without.

• Caroline Hubbard : I woke up in the dark and I knew there was a man in my room.

  Hercule Poirot : You are certain it was a man?

  Caroline Hubbard : I know what it feels like to have a man in my bedroom.

• Bouc : And yet, the best things on the train are not food. You know there's something about a tangle of strangers pressed together for days on end with nothing in common but the need to go from one place to another, then never to see each other again. Boredom plus anonymity plus a... constant gentle rocking.

  Hercule Poirot : With your hobbies you will never amount to anything.

  Bouc : God, I hope so. Hmm.

• Hercule Poirot : [Addressing MacQueen]  The train is full. I think that we are, how do you say... 'bunkies.'

  [Long pause. MacQueen says nothing] 

  Hercule Poirot : I am equally disappointed in you. This is nice!

• Hercule Poirot : I am tired. I have earned myself a little holiday. I want to look at paintings and have too much time on my hands.

• Hercule Poirot : I have my Dickens!

  Bouc : Damn your Dickens!

• Hercule Poirot : Sir, I need you pass key immediately. We need to find a uniform and a red kimono!

• Hercule Poirot : [angrily to MacQueen]  You tried to burn Ratchett's accounts! But, they are still legible in places the math does not tally! Because you have been stealing from him! It is full of - deh - deh - deh...

  [to Bouc] 

  Hercule Poirot : [impatiently]  What is den English? Deh English word - deh - deh - deh chocolata?

  Bouc : The fudge?

  Hercule Poirot : [furiously to MacQueen]  THE FUDGE! IT IS FULL OF THE FUDGE!

• Hercule Poirot : I'm sorry to wake you, Madama Contessa.

  Countess Elena Andrenyi : I'm always awake at night. In the day I sleep. Some fear darkness; but, I cannot stand the light.

• Miss Mary Debenham : [recognizes Poirot on a boat]  I know your mustache... from the papers. You're the detective, Hercules Poirot?

  Hercule Poirot : *Hercule* Poirot. I do not slay the lions.

• Bouc : This is my dear old friend, the esteemed Poirot, who I knew before the esteem. Hercule Poirot, this is...

  Hercule Poirot : A prostitute.

  Bouc : She is.

  Prostitute : I am!

• Hercule Poirot : Ah, Mrs Hubbard, I'm sorry to have kept you. You have a head full of steam and a mouth full of words.

  Caroline Hubbard : You're goddamn right, I do.

• Hercule Poirot : I am at my happiest alone.

• Bouc : You have to find who did this. Please, I implore you, on behalf of the Orient Express. When the police arrive, you present them with a case closed. You are the only one who can save me.

  Hercule Poirot : Your faith touches me, mon cher. But, I must have this rest.

  Bouc : Well, think of it as a little beachside puzzle. That's nothing to your mind! You, you look up the antecedents of the passengers, you establish their bona fides and then you do what you do.

• Hercule Poirot : You were fond of him?

  Hector MacQueen : I was fond of his money.

• Hercule Poirot : I prefer to understand why a clue is left, rather than what the object is.

• Princess Dragomiroff : The coincidence must seem unbearable.

  Hercule Poirot : You may be permitted a coincidence.

• Pilar Estravados : You said your role was to find justice.

  Hercule Poirot : What is justice here?

  Pilar Estravados : Sometimes the law of man is not enough.

• Edward Ratchett : So, you say no to my dirty mind.

  Hercule Poirot : I say no to you, Mr. Ratchett.

  Edward Ratchett : Business with the gun, right? Is that what it was?

  Hercule Poirot : It is far more personal than that. I do not like your face.

• Hercule Poirot : Miss Estravados, why do your hands have the calluses of a boxer?

  Pilar Estravados : I do my work in dangerous cities where I cannot be governed by fear. I trained to fight.

  Hercule Poirot : But you do not trust your god anymore since your 'surprise'?

  Pilar Estravados : No, in case He is busy.

  Hercule Poirot : God is always busy.

• Hector MacQueen : Have you considered the Latin man? Marquez. Hell of a guy. And, well, you know, his kind, they don't have the same distaste for murder, historically speaking.

  Hercule Poirot : You said you don't hold a man's race against him.

  Hector MacQueen : I suppose... depends on the race.

  [MacQueen leaves] 

  Hercule Poirot : And he was doing so well.

• Hercule Poirot : I love the little cakes.

• Hercule Poirot : You come from Baghdad?

  Miss Mary Debenham : It's true. No detail escapes his notice!

  Hercule Poirot : [points in her purse]  Your ticket.

  [Debenham politely closes her purse] 

  Hercule Poirot : I might also ask you if you enjoyed your time there - as a governess? The chalk on your sleeve and the Geography Primer. A governess or a cartographer.

  [Debenham chuckles] 

  Hercule Poirot : I made my gamble.

  Miss Mary Debenham : I always begin them with geography and monster them until the have the world down cold. They may get lost in math; but, I'll be damned if they don't know where they are.

• Hercule Poirot : I do not approve of murder, my friend. Every day we need people to work and to do better without; yet, we do not kill them. We must be better than the beasts. So, let us find this killer.

• Dr. Arbuthnot : You won't listen to reason.

  Hercule Poirot : Never!

• Caroline Hubbard : I found it at the foot of my bed on the cover. Right where I slept. What do you call that?

  Hercule Poirot : I call it evidence.

• Hercule Poirot : You must have worked very hard to become a doctor. Not many of your race are allowed the opportunity.

  Dr. Arbuthnot : Middlesex Medical College permits one, per class. I had the honor in '24.

• Hercule Poirot : You are a dancer, like your husband?

  Countess Elena Andrenyi : No. Not like my husband... He is touched by angels, I've been shoved by passion and hard work to become adequate.

• Hercule Poirot : Human nature is perverse in its complexity - to plumb it, it takes the right tools.

  Miss Mary Debenham : [says cynically]  These are toys, not tools, Hercule. I prefer you put them away.

• Hercule Poirot : Monsieur Bouc!

  Bouc : Poirot! In the kitchen! Well, of course, this man will sniff out a perfect pastry faster than he catches a jewel thief.

• Hercule Poirot : I understand.