- [opening lines]
- Henry Gamble: How big is yours?
- Gabe: Soft or hard?
- Henry Gamble: Hard.
- Gabe: I don't know. Last time I checked it was, like, six inches, but that was in... like, seventh grade, so it probably grew.
- Henry Gamble: Oh.
- Gabe: It's probably more like seven now, maybe even eight.
- Henry Gamble: Do you want to measure it now?
- Gabe: I'm not hard.
- Henry Gamble: Oh.
- Gabe: Are you?
- Henry Gamble: No.
- Gabe: How big are YOU?
- Henry Gamble: Like... six and a half.
- Gabe: That's cool. Not bad.
- Christine: I'm gay.
- Henry Gamble: Wait. What? Seriously?
- Christine: Yeah. How did you not know this?
- Henry Gamble: I... I don't know these things.
- Christine: Wait, wait, so do you have, like, a problem with it?
- Heather: Surely YOU don't.
- Henry Gamble: Wait. What does THAT mean?
- Kat Gamble: You need to spend some time with your boy.
- Bob Gamble: But he needs you.
- Kat Gamble: No, he needs you more. He needs your blessing.
- Jon: [homosexuality] It's not a good thing, that's for sure.
- Cheyenne: Well, what do you think?
- Candice Noble: Well... I mean, I think Christ teaches us to love everyone.
- Jon: Yeah.
- Jon: Whether they're addicts or criminals or gay people.