David Gerrold, who wrote "The Trouble With Tribbles" and became fairly closely associated with Star Trek: TOS, once told a story about reviewing story ideas from screenwriters who were total ignoramuses when it came to astronomy. One pitched the story, "The Federation is in crisis due to an imminent eclipse of the galaxy." When he stopped laughing, Gerrold explained to the writer why his story idea was utter nonsense. Well, that's the disgusted laugh you laugh when you read the first words on the screen of "Nine Minutes": "The United Earth Space Administration has sent out astronauts to the far corners of the Universe in hopes of discovering a solution to Earth's energy crisis." Right away, the filmmakers have let us know that they possess a 2nd-grade understanding of space SF. To quote Wikipedia, "While the spatial size of the entire universe is unknown, the cosmic inflation equation indicates that it must have a minimum diameter of 23 trillion light years, and it is possible to measure the size of the observable universe, which is approximately 93 billion light-years in diameter at the present day." So much for sending astronauts to the far reaches of the Universe. And there are a dozen different ways to solve Earth's energy crisis right here in our own solar system. Solar energy, either on Earth or in space; materials that are exotic on Earth but abundant in the asteroid belt...Workable FUSION energy is far less fantastic than sending astronauts to "the far corners of the Universe."
So the premise is idiotic. What about the film itself? Each mission has just ONE astronaut. If there's anyplace where the buddy system will keep you alive, it's in space. But not here, because that would ruin what passes for drama. It starts out with a very picturesque failed liftoff from what appears to be a desert planet with pillars of something in the landscape. Salt? Rock? Sugar? Anyhow, astronaut Lilian manages to eject safely. Bravo 2 crashes behind a rock formation, leaving Lilian sprawled on the ground near her parachute, with no one but her AI M. A. R. C. to talk to. "Nine minutes" refers to her oxygen supply. We watch Lilian emote and listen to her talk as time runs out, but believe it or not, we're bored. This short film starts with a ridiculous premise and then peters out entirely.
Constance Wu is miscast as the astronaut: Her girlish, petulant voice ruins the lines she is saying. Reggie Watts does a good job with the voice of M. A. R. C. the AI. If you've ever seen pictures of Reggie Watts, you'll find it hard to believe that that voice came out of a guy who looks like two unmade beds.
