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Superman III (1983)
Oh, well, we got two great movies.
This movie is tremendously, incredibly, awesomely bad.
There's just no excuse for it. After watching Superman I, which was not perfect but became the blueprint for comic book movies afterwards, and II, which started to turn into a farce (except for the Donner version, which was a bit better, IMHO), this movie feels like a slap on the face.
The addition of Richard Pryor was, IMHO, what makes this movie so bad. Pryor is an amazing comic.. when working within his style. He simply fails spectacularly when trying to do a "family" movie. He's simply unfunny and makes the movie drag tremendously. I'd rather believe a man can fly than Pryor's character.
And then, we have what may be the best scene out of the 4 original Superman movies: the fight between Superman and Clark Kent. This was the only part of the movie which I thought was up to par, or better, than the 2 first movies.
But the rest? It was almost Superman IV quality.
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)
Maybe the EPA was right about the Ghostbusters
Ever since the original movie, it's all gone downhill. Even though Ghostbusters II was sort of OK-ish, the sequels after it have been one bomb after another.
This movie banks heavy on nostalgia again, and short on everything else. The story is a bit of a rehash of both of the first Ghostbuster movies, even going as far as to recreate some key scenes out of them. The fan service is OK, I guess - and it's a great thing to see the original Ghostbusters, plus Annie Potts, back at the firehouse. Also, the original theme is back.
From there on, pretty much everything is a disaster. Scenes that are supposed to be fun (like a certain character singing the original song) fall flat on their face. Too many, FAR too many characters to care. Several glaring editor's mistakes (such as cutting the brass pole in one scene, just to appear intact in the next one, or the Ecto 1 spinning its tires while being on park, and then going into drive), lot holes (who discovered Phoebe in the lab? Why did they look for her there? Nobody knew where she was!) and an inconclusive ending don't help at all.
I hope we've seen the last of the franchise... I'd rather remember it fondly for I and II rather than endure the 3 latest sequels.
Madame Web (2024)
Just about as terrible as everyone says it is
After being available online, I decided to give this movie a shot, since - how bad could it be?
I was absolutely stunnned at how terrible it really was.
Basically, the movie seems like a bunch of ideas that were loosely interconnected, because most of the time, nothing makes a lot of sense. After watching some reviews, I've understood why ; ADR. The movie seems to have been written to take it on a different direction,and post-production, several big changes seem to have been made. It shows, since characters make several big time decisions (like a certain trip to Perú) for no reason whatsoever.
The biggest thing (besides this movie being awfully boring, that is) is the fact that the movie is not really a superhero one. There's a villain (with weird and illogical motives), but the heroines *never* show up. Yes, the 3 Spider-women NEVER appear, excepf for 10 or so seconds at the end, as a vision of the future. You basically get a movie that is a teaser for a sequel that will never come.
Further- the protagonist; Dakota Johnson. I never thought I'd see someone with less facial expressions than Henry Cavill as Superman. Well, we just got a winner. Johnson looks as bored during the movie as she was during interviews for it. She just doesn't seem to care about anything and has a single facial expression throughout the movie - the "I don't give a spider's ass" one. It's obvious she knew this was going to be a bomb, but it'd have been very appreciated if she at least had put some effort behind it.
Terrible acting on everyone's part, terrible story, boring movie. Perhaps its only saving grace may be the special effects, which may not be as terrible as others. But that's such a low bar to clear.
Todas menos tú (2024)
Dumb, empty, shallow and boring
A "romantic comedy" full of whitexicans that think they are very funny because of the bad words they use and how vulgar they can be. Full of stereotypes, and just about as predictable as you can expect from a movie where the entire story can be guessed just by looking at the faces of all the actors on the cover of the poster. Camerawork is reality-tv like - with plenty of handshake - trying to look realistic, it just ends up being amateurish.
Just another irrelevant movie made by wannabe actors in order to get some government funding or sponsorship from someone. Don't waste your time on this, you'll be glad you didn't.
Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver (2024)
Stupid, formulaic, paint by numbers, ugly looking.
So, let's start with the good things.
At least Snyder didn't put us up with another 4 hour "epic" as he did with his version of the justice league.
But it's obvious Part 1 and 2 were supposed to be a single movie. Instead of "epic" he gave us an inflated, color by numbers, slow motion boring fest.
Stealing every idea from every sci-fi movie he could, including obviously The Matrix ideas and palette, the whole Star Wars universe, and The Magnificent Seven and A Bug' s Life, Snyder fired up his video editing suite, lowered brightness until nothing could be seen, added HDR, lens flares and color, and then thought he had made a great movie. Sadly, his kindergarten-grade storytelling abilities betray him everytime he tries to direct.
He could be an amazing videogame cutscene designer, or an interesting director of photography. But writing and directing? They are so above and beyond his capabiities it's not funny.
Ms. Marvel (2022)
How Marvel lost its course.
This is not a "bad" series. That is, if you are a teen girl who likes iCarly or one of the Nickelodeon shows.
But then, it has these gory scenes with people being murdered with knives. So, I guess it's not really a teen series.
But then, it has some superhero action... which happens halfway around episode 4 and 6.
It seems to be tied to the MCU by Carol Danvers... but only in mentioning for a couple of seconds. So, it really doesn't matter whether you watch it or not.
And it really seems to be more focused on comedy... or historical aspects... or how many boys Miss Marvel dates... or saving the world from annihilation (apparently, this aspect was so ignored it may as well not exist).
This is a rudderless series that shows how badly Marvel has failed us, its fans. It tries to include everything for everyone, and it ends up being pretty much nothing.
Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
Unbelievably boring
I can tolerate many things. A badly written movie. Bad special effects. Bad acting.
But not a boring movie. This is a boring movie.
Good points: some shots, I guess. They are stunning.
Bad things: The whole story could have been told in 5 minutes, or as a rolling text, as in Star Wars. I could not follow the story because it was SO boring. Everything is just BORING. Nothing interesting happens.
Some special effects, much to my surprise, were terrible. I honestly wasn't expecting this from Snyder. There's a certain scene with a spaceship bombing a city where the ship looks worse than an early 2000's videogame.
I've read the story was stolen from other sources. Probably, but honestly, I was so bored I didn't even care which stories they took it from.
Everything is sepia colored and dark. It's just too hard to try and make out what's going on at times because of the darkness.
I find it weird how people complained about Rey being overpowered to the point of being a Mary Sue, when the main character in this movie is even worse. She can take on entire armies with her bare hands. FFS.
But the worse thing - the movie is boring. Nothing really happens. It's as if Snyder thought that creating some scenes with "impressive" visuals and cheap violence would cover up the fact that he didn't tell a good story.
History of the World: Part II (2023)
Awful. Just awful. And I'm a Mel Brooks fan.
I can't believe this. It's as bad as Spaceballs: The series. 10 minutes into the first episode and not a single laugh, no interesting plot, nothing. A bore of a series, badly acted, absolutely uninteresting. Who greenlighted this?
It should be obvious this was going to be a bore. During the beginning, Mel Brooks claims he's a legend. In his own mind, I suppose. And then he shows up as a very muscular man, claiming it's him during the 80s. Honestly, this seems the funniest part of the entire series.
Easily the worst Mel Brooks ever.... at least its on par with Spaceballs. At least this one isn't a cartoon.
Beavis and Butt-Head Do the Universe (2022)
Perfection
Mike Judge brought back Beavis and Butt-Head absolutely intact from the 90's, and it's such a glorious thing to see. Times have changed, but our need to simply laugh our asses off at something this dumb, hasn't. Jackass Forever and Do the Universe remind us that MTV was as cool as anything else out there 20-30 years ago.
I'd rate it a 69 if I could.
Action Point (2018)
Not bad, but not boring. It makes so much sense if you know about Action Park
Most of the fun we got out of the movie was watching replicas of the real Action Park attractions, and getting a feel of the overall mayhem the original park must have been. Johnny Knoxville and Chris Pontius bring a lot of chemistry on screen, stunts are as painful as in Jackass, and the overall tone is light and unassuming. I was surprised to see how closely the story mirrors the original Action Park, I guess they could have just said it was "based on real events", and it would have been somewhat true. It could have been so much better, but it's OK as is.
Chernobyl (2021)
A cheap imitation of the vastly superior HBO Series
No spoilers here, but if you want to watch a movie about Chernobyl.. don't waste your time. Every event, and the timeline itself, is fabricated. There's not an ounce of historical truth here, but plenty of made up drama. Skip, and watch the vastly, vastly superior HBO Series.
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)
A gentle love letter to Ghostbusters fans, and Harold Ramis.
It's not perfect. Sure, the film focuses far too much on Phoebe and "podcast". Trevor is ignored, as well as his story arc. Far too many "Deus ex machina" moments.
BUT - and this is a huge one - the movie has its heart in a perfect place. A homage to a friend of everyone involved in the original movie. It plays so nicely, you can't help but end up liking this movie, beyond its faults. It's just such a gentle farewell to Egon, the character, and Harold Ramis, the man. Everyone came back to say goodbye.
Such a lovely trip down memory lane. Thank you for erasing the 2016 reboot. This is the movie we fans deserved since 1984.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
The Matrix can be many things, but never boring. Resurrections is a bore.
I'm beginning to think that the Wachowskis had a single great idea (The Matrix), an extra good movie after that (V for Vendetta), and the desire for some of the greatest eye candy ever (Speed Racer). Because everything else they have done is simply terrible.
The first 30 minutes are terrible. They are full of exposition, rehashes of the old movies and boring stuff. But the rest of the movie is worse.
I never understood why there was a new Matrix, or who created it. Or why. Nor I cared about it. Keanu Reeves spent the entire movie with his "whoa" face. And at the end I had it, too. But a bad "whoa".
Avoid at all costs.
Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)
It's pretty much the same JL we got, only with more slow motion, and unnecessary scenes. There's a good movie in there waiting to be released, but this one is not it.
Mild spoilers here.
8.4 does not truly describe this movie.
Is it better than JL 2017? Yep.
Action scenes are better. There are some truly breathtaking scenes. Snyder is a master when it comes to fights. There were certain parts where I was glad I was watching the movie. His JL looks far better than the 2017 one, which seems austere and pale in comparison.
Now, for the bad things.
Snyder tried again to cram 20+ movies into one. He seems to desperately want to measure up to Marvel. First of all - he can't. He's not a good director. He can chroeograph incredible fighting scenes. He can create some out of this world visuals. But he cannot direct a movie with the right pacing and amount of detail. He should let that to the pros. He's obviously way out of his depth here.
If we take out the slow motion scenes, so many of them deeply and completely unecessary, the movie would last 30 minutes less. If we took out all of the unnecessary moments, scenes, and dialogue (like the flying car scene, which leads to nowhere, or the "Martian Manhunter" easter egg that has no place in the movie) we could probably take 30 minutes more out of the movie. 3 hours would make for a snappier experience.
Still - the major issues are there. There's just not enough time to care about anybody or everybody. WW had her movie, Bats and Superman did, so, yeah. But we don't know a thing about Aquaman, Flash or Cyborg. And there's just not enough time to tell their stories.
I wanted for all the exposition to end to watch the fight scenes, just because of how amazing they looked. But it was like a demo of a good movie, not the good movie in itself.
Corny melodies accompanying the protagonists, strange changes in sound design (Voices sometimes felt and sounded different from the rest of the movie(, and the fact that the pacing was uneven and SLOW made this movie boring.
I'll never watch it again. 4 hours is far too much to waste on a still unfinished product. Still, nice try, Snyder. It's better than the other version. I'll give you that.
UHF (1989)
Surprisingly fun and enjoyable.
Not bad at all. Expectations were ridiculously high for this movie- there's no way Weird Al could deliver on them, and considering the competition. it's no surprise this movie was deemed a failure. Having said that, it's still as enjoyable and fun and clean as it ever was.
In retrospective, it was a better movie, than, say, Ghostbusters II, and most of its competition.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
What an absolute mess
I just kept watching to see if it would get better.
It did.
Nothing makes sense. At all. The whole movie is based on a premise that would have probably been at home on an old Superfriends 7 minute cartoon (come to think of it - that's the quality of the writing). The acting, beyond Gal Gadot and Pedro Pascal's , is completely abominable. Dialog is cringue-worthy. The ending sis stupid.
Honestly, just reboot the whole DCU at this point.
Rebelión de los Godínez (2020)
Garbage. Don't bother
Another one of those mexican films that are made so that the government spends every last cent in formulaic, no brainer crap.
Don't waste your money watching this. It's exactly as dull and pointless as the poster, where everyone looks completely fake and posing.
How many times can you laugh at a "Godinez" (cubicle dweller?). Yes, we know about tupperware. We know about the clothing. Yes, it has already been shown in at least one more movie (with Godinez on the title).
The only fair thing about the movie is Alejandro Suarez, but then again, this is not saying much.
Technically inept and crude, stupid, badly filmed and dumb. Don't bother.
Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
Better than expected. Thank GOD Sonic was re-done
Not a bad movie, after all. Nice message, very well made CGI, and Sonic looked and acted as I imagined it should be.
The fact that he was re-done was reason enough for me to go and see the movie. A company listening to its customers and actually delivering a quality product because of complaints? That's pretty much unheard of in the movie industry. This could have been a "Cats" level disaster. Instead, it was pretty enjoyable, sweet and fun.
But, oh, Jim Carrey. Did he steal the show? Yes, indeed. His acting was superb, and on the level of his best movies. Just goes to prove - he should be let go and be himself every once in a while.
Sonic and Jim Carrey deserved to look and act this great. What could have been a disaster of a movie ended up being a pretty nice and sweet ride. Thank you Paramount, for doing the right thing.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
NOT the ending we deserved.
It's not a terrible, 1/10 movie. It's entertaining. The visuals are terrific. But that's it.
The story is terribly rushed. Everything happens and happens and happens. Once you exit the theater, you realize how rushed the movie is. And how many plot holes there are. Everything miraculously happens when it needs to. People land where they need to and find clues immediately. It's like watching a clockwork mechanism. Completely predictable and boring.
There is no chemistry between the main characters. You could see how Luke, Han and Leia were a tight unit. These guys.... Not so much.
In the end, you realize how this is just all about doing the old fans a service. But bringing back Lando, and copying verbatim several scenes from the old trilogy just won't cut it. We are smarter (and older) than that. So yeah, Disney could definitely do an incredible Marvel universe but they just didn't know what to do with Star Wars. A shame.
Coco (2017)
Stunning, beautiful, colorful, powerful, sad, happy. A joy of a ride.
I may be biased, since this movie portrayed perfectly what life is all about in a small Mexican town.
Or, perhaps I wanted to see Pixar really get back on the game. Go beyond Up, and make a complete movie that was as beautiful as the first 20 minutes of Wall-E.
I got my wish.
This is the movie I wanted Pixar to make, once again. A movie about what family means. A movie about the choices we make, and the roads not taken.
This is a stunning work of art. It'll move you from happiness to tears, from memories of the past to the joy of the future. To understanding, to remembrance. To the joys and pains of being alive.
I can't even begin to imagine how Pixar made a movie about life and death that is so colorful, so absorbing, so poignant, and so approachable for kids, and with so many layers upon layers upon layers of meaning and significance for adults.
To watch Coco is to love Coco, and to remember the Cocos in your life that are no longer among us.
Thank you, Pixar.
Rogue One (2016)
Mind blown. I thought I'd never experience Star Wars this way again since 1977
...when I was 3 years old.
This movie had me literally at the edge of my seat, hands sweaty. I couldn't stop staring at the screen. I felt I was, once again, piloting an X-Wing. I felt the excitement I thought I'd never feel again. I felt fear when the most famous bad**s of all time was back. I was exhilarated. I cried. I cheered. I had a new hope at the end of it all.
This is what the prequels should have been, instead of the garbage Lucas dumped on us. This is what we deserved all along. This is Star Wars, all grown up. And it's better than it ever was.
I'd consider this as good as Star Wars; better than every other movie, and quite frankly, far better than I could have ever expected.
Thanks Disney. You have definitely saved the franchise.
Ghostbusters (2016)
A movie can be good or bad, but it should never be boring. This one is.
You can enjoy bad movies (Manos, Plan 9). You can enjoy good movies (too many to mention).
But one thing a movie cannot ever be is boring. That never works for anyone.
This movie is a major bore. Nothing interesting happens (that you haven't seen before, with way funnier actors). It's a Ghostbusters rehash, with far worse acting. That's it.
The leads have NO chemistry whatsoever. The original Ghostbuster actors were a team inside and outside the set, and it showed. These actors have nothing going for them.
Dialog is boring, acting is boring, everything, everything is boring. It's just a waste of time.
It could have been bad, and it would have been a better movie than this.
Don't even download it from somewhere. It's honestly not worth's anybody's time.
Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)
This is "The Phantom Menace" of the Independence Day franchise
Yesterday, I watched ID4 (the original) just to make sure I wouldn't ignore any references on the new movie.
I shouldn't have. Because I was reminded of how silly great the original movie was. It was like a serialized comic book, everything made sense, the pacing was great, the characters were awesome, etc.
The new movie is like a boiling pot of good ideas that fail to impress. I went to see it with my son. When we came out, we started discussing which part was our favorite. We kept scratching our heads - and we couldn't remember a single scene!
The original is full of silly epic moments. The President's speech. The doctor being attacked by the Aliens. Will Smith punching the alien and screaming "WELCOME TO EARTH!"
The new one? My son said "dad, they made the aliens look stupid. They used to be so scary".
That was pretty much the extent of our conversation.
I couldn't imagine how they'd be able to make a bad movie out of the franchise. But they did.
No wonder the movie theatre I went to was basically empty!
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Awful. For all their money, DC can't seem to make a likable movie about Batman or Superman lately
First: we all knew Henry Cavill would suck. He sucked before, it was just a matter of time before he was absolutely unlikeable as Superman again.
Second: the minute Ben Assfleck was cast as Batman, we knew we were in deep trouble. He can be a good actor, but here's one word: Daredevil.
Third: Zack Snyder. Need I say more?
While Robert Downey Jr. and the rest create likable characters in a likable universe, with interesting settings and issues, this movie is all about big explosions, bizarre relationships and... well, not much more. Where did the third major player come out from? Why was she there? Where's the rest of the Justice League? Why was it all dumb explosions? Could they have found a dumber Lex Luthor? Why on earth would Batman care so much about what Superman was telling to him in the end?
Why did I waste 2.5 hours, when this movie was so absurd, so empty, so stupid?
Really, Ant-Man is Oscar material next to this. Guardians of the Galaxy is a thousand times better. And those are the small Marvel Universe movies.
Why did they insist on casting Henry Cavill and Ben Affleck is beyond me. They destroyed the franchise before it started.
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)
Is this the best Star Wars movie ever?
I was absolutely sure this was going to be an epic failure. Disney. Star Wars. The horrible taste the prequels left us with.
I watched the prequels before watching the movie. They were even worse than I remembered them. Atrocious. Unwatchable.
The best thing that could ever happen was Disney getting Lucasfilm off George Lucas' hands. There. I said it. George Lucas, thank you for not being involved AT ALL in this movie. You almost destroyed Star Wars with the "prequels".
But JJ Abrams and Disney... they created a masterpiece. This is movie is so stunning in so many levels I can only compare it to when I was 3 years old and watched Star Wars in a huge movie theatre. Goosebumps, chills, the whole deal. This movie feels real, looks real, just like the original trilogy did. This is amazing - I couldn't imagine Disney topping "Episode 4" - but in my humble opinion, they did.
Disney, JJ Abrams, everyone involved - feel proud about yourselves. You made me forget the prequels ever existed, and made me feel like a 3 year old kid for 2 hours.
If these guys do Episode 8 and somehow state that the prequels were "some sort of mythology that never happened", I'll be happy for the rest of my life.
10/10