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Reviews
Subservience (2024)
Come on, it's not that bad
Predictable? Sure. You pretty much know when the good looking Dad hires the extremely sexy female robot, he's going to have sex with her and the robot is going to get jealous of the wife. It's been done before, with and without robots. Megan Fox's limited acting ability fits perfectly with this role. I'm unfamiliar with the other two actors but they did decent jobs with what they were given.
Other reviews state Megan doesn't know how to act like a robot. I'm not exactly sure what else she could've done to robotize her performance any further. Well I enjoyed it for the one-off that it is, I have no desire for repeat viewings. Well Megan in lingerie is always a pleasant sight but if you're waiting for her to get totally nude you're going to be waiting a while.
Trap (2024)
A not bad movie done in by another M Night ridiculous ending
Let's put aside the ludicrous notion that the police would endanger the lives of thousands of people by trapping them in a building with a serial killer, for the needle in a haystack chance of catching him. I thought the performances were adecent. Josh Hartnett was a convincing dad/murderer and Ariel Donoghue did a good job as the daughter even if her Australian accident poked through on several occasions. Seleka Shayamalan tried her best but it was obvious it was her first movie and her limited range was very evident.
It really started to go downhill after Lady Raven visited Cooper and Riley's house. Numerous cinematic mistakes one after another while the dialogue got increasingly ridiculous and downright cringy. It's like M. Night had no idea how to end the movie and this is the best he could come up with. The conversation between Lady Raven and Cooper in the car. The conversation between Cooper and his wife. The fact that Cooper magically escaped from several inescapable situations with no explanation how he did it. The complete lack of proper tactics by the police especially after he got arrested. It took a borderline not bad movie and turned it into a complete crap show.
The Twilight Zone: Five Characters in Search of an Exit (1961)
I wondered where this one was going the whole time
And when the big twist was finally revealed, I thought it was one of the more original endings of a Twilight Zone episode. I really enjoyed this one. Sure the acting was a little bit hammy at times, but it was well worth the payoff. Imagine getting locked in a small space with not only a clown that won't stop talking but a bagpiper. I thought maybe they would have to wait for a 6th person to be tall enough to reach the edge of the container they're in but they managed to make it work with the five. That was my idea from the second I saw them all in there, stack up, people. Yes I'm using up words to get to the minimum. I really enjoyed this episode and I hope you will as well.
Expend4bles (2023)
Mind numbingly stupid
Bad dialogue, bad acting and extremely bad CGI. Every method of transportation is faked, planes, helicopters, especially the boats and even the motorcycle chase on a ship (sure, why not) is full of it. What the hell is Megan Fox doing there, she adds absolutely nothing. Was it in her contract that she couldn't appear in anything but full makeup at all times? And any fight scenes she's in, her face isn't shown because it's 100% her stuntwoman. Jason Statham, Tony Jaa and Iko Awais have some decent action scenes but that's about it. The new people add nothing to the movie, from 50 Cent playing the part of "Not Terry Crews" and the guy looking like a CGI de-aged Antonio Bandaras who just talks about sex the entire movie and adds little else. Just when you thought Expendables 3 was the worst one of the series, this one comes along.
The Wrath of Becky (2023)
Almost as ridiculous as the last one
I just read they only had three weeks to write the script. I think they probably put it off for two weeks and then crammed this piece of crap together in the final week. Becky the bionic teenager is back at it again, running through the woods, fighting rednecks. Oh speaking of, what's the absolute worst color you could wear if you wanted to blend into the woods? Because Becky the master outdoorswoman chose to be head to toe in bright red. Sean William Scott is convincing in a rare bad guy role but I have to wonder if he lost a bet and had to be in this. Having just watched the ridiculous ending, it leaves it open for yet another sequel. I gave the last one 1 star, this gets a two. Maybe Becky 3 will get a third.
Backcountry (2014)
How the hell is this rated 92% on RT?
It takes a full hour for the bear to show up and it looks like they stuck a stuffed bear head into the tent and waved it around and let the actors react to it. The acting is fine but it's another one of those movies where the animal and the humans don't share a single frame of film together and they've cobbled together footage to make it seem like there's an attack. And what's the deal with the Irish guy, he shows up, he acts weird then he's gone for the rest of the movie. Two stars for the two leads who did a good job but there's no saving this attempt at at a bear attack story. Fourteen characters left, ah there we go.
Jimmy Kimmel's the Terrific Ten (2017)
I think we know why the score is so low
This is the funniest thing that has happened on late night television ever. The whole thing is brilliant, from the characters to the actual dialogue written by a 9-year old Jimmy Kimmel. What a present to give to him for his 50th birthday. The first time I saw it, I thought "Matt Damon has to be the bad guy" and there he was. Too bad people can't just enjoy it for what it is and not bring politics into it which is exactly why the score is so low. The trailer park crowd is upset that Jimmy makes fun of their orange daddy, just like every other late-night host. So this is how they lash out, by downvoting a brilliant piece of comedy and also this review.
Weird: The Al Yankovic Story (2022)
One ridiculous claim after another
I love Weird Al and I just saw him in concert for the first and hopefully not the last time. I've been a fan of his music since I was a teenager. But this movie is just one ridiculous claim after another. He wrote "Another One Rides The Bus" off the top of his head at a party in front of the bass player from Queen? No he didn't. He claimed to have written "Eat It" as a completely original song and stuck a cigarette in the hand of the record executive that doubted him? No he didn't. He, a nobody at the time, had sex with Madonna who was at the height of her popularity? No he didn't. I might be missing something, like the overall purpose of the movie, but I turned it off halfway through. Daniel Radcliffe does a great job as well as the celebrity cameos in the movie. Al himself playing the record executive who turned him down for a record deal was brilliant. But unless this movie is intended as the ultimate parody upon a career of parody, I don't get it.
The Book of Boba Fett: Chapter 6: From the Desert Comes a Stranger (2022)
I couldn't possibly care less about Grogu
This will get downvoted all to hell but Grogu was amusing to begin with but his storyline should've finished when the Mandalorian shipped him off to be with his own kind. He's now a distraction from what could be a pretty interesting storyline. Everything else about this episode was great, lose the children's puppet. I fast forwarded through every minute of him and Luke doing his training. He got Yoda's lightsaber apparently, didn't see it, don't care. He had plenty of chances to use it in this episode and the last one but didn't. And now I see he's back for the Mandalorian season 3. As much as I've enjoyed it up until now, this might be it for me.
Run Sweetheart Run (2020)
Starts well but gets progressively dumber
The two lead actors are terrific in this. Ella Balinska is gorgeous and plays her part perfectly. Pilou Asbaek is perfectly cast as the very scary antagonist, but the movie never explains exactly what he is, vampire, werewolf, demon, manbearpig, we don't know. What was an okay movie is really let down by the ridiculous ending. Apparently, the secret to defeating manbearpig is a group of women in karate outfits that train to fight but don't end up doing anything. The "First Lady" says due to their network of pipes, manbearpig will smell Cherie's blood all over the city yet he's able to zero right in on her for the big final fight. He's able to disappear at will yet sticks around to get caught in sunlight. The only reason I even gave this two stars was for the two actors. This movie wasn't released, it escaped.
Smile (2022)
Well acted but lacking substance
I'd never heard of the lead actress, Sosie Bacon before but she's terrific in this. However, the first indication there's no decent plot in any movie is the cheap jump scares and this movie is nothing but. And the lead character makes some nonsense choices. She's alone in the house, she hears a voice so she makes the decision to turn off all the lights and go to bed. Then in the next scene it's suddenly the next day and the jump scare is her almost getting hit by a car. I had enough after that and turned it off. If you're a fan of cheap jump scares, then you might enjoy this movie but those of us who require an actual plot will not.
Prey (2022)
Requires major suspension of disbelief
Logically this movie should be 5 minutes long because that's how long it would take a futuristic alien warrior to decimate a village of primitive people with bows and arrows and spears. That 100 lb girl sure can take multiple hits from a 6'9 250 lb muscle-bound alien and bounce right back up like nothing happened. And that ending is far-fetched to say the least. She managed to lure the alien into the exact position, to the inch, where the laser site from his helmet would focus on his head. The lead actress did a great job and it's not a bad movie but like I said, major suspension of disbelief is required to enjoy it.
The IT Crowd: Bad Boys (2010)
To the guy who said he didn't laugh once
If you didn't laugh at the beginning when the cop doing the briefing about talking to troubled teens moves aside to reveal Moss trying to look tough, you're dead inside. That was one of the best laughs of the series. This show needs a reboot.
Dead to Me (2019)
Killer first season, second season not so much
The first season was flawless, funny, dramatic, witty, sarcastic, tragic, you got it all. Masterful performances from the two lead actresses as well. I don't know if either one of them has won an Emmy for this but if they haven't been at least nominated, it's a crime. Second season drags a bit as they've exhausted the premise of the first one and are now struggling to justify why we're still watching. It's still good, just not as good as the first season. A third season has been announced and I fear it's one too many.
Bull (2021)
If not for the ending it'd be a ten.
Masterful performance by Neil Maskell. I'm reminded of Alan Ford both in the way he speaks as well as the menacing performance. David Hayman is equally menacing as Norm. I really wish they'd explained how Bull managed to survive being set on fire and shot point blank twice with a shotgun, and without a scratch on him. So the ending, his eyes are completely black so he's what, the Devil now? That made zero sense. But overall a fantastic movie.
Famalam: Episode #3.4 (2020)
A 5.4 rating for this is a crime
"B*tch I'm Idris Alba" is permanently stuck in my head. That whole sketch was hilarious. Much more than 5.4 hilarious. I don't know what you all find funny if you're downvoting this episode.
Fargo (1996)
Almost a perfect movie except for one scene
I think you know where I'm going with this. Mike Yanagita. That whole scene is just cringe from beginning to end. First he hits on a married, pregnant woman then bursts into tears over his dead wife and cries how lonely he is. What's the point of this scene? It adds nothing to the movie. It actually takes you out of the story completely. It's a shame because the rest of the movie is absolute perfection. I'd watch a movie headlined by the two hitmen characters anytime.
The Freak Brothers (2020)
Does it get any better?
Despite liking the three guys playing the brothers, this is some unfunny stuff. They all pass out for decades, okay sure, why not. But the jokes just aren't there. And John Goodman doing a high pitched stoner voice just isn't working for me. He should've played it more in his natural voice. This show is definitely for the fans of the original comic book which I'm guessing is a very selective audience.
Nisser (2021)
I honestly don't get the bad reviews
I thoroughly enjoyed it. Yeah they made some questionable decisions but they certainly don't warrant the trash reviews I'm seeing. The CGI and puppetry were very believable, as were the performances from all the actors. The ending leaves it wide open for another season and I hope that happens.
South Park: Post Covid (2021)
The laughs are fewer but overall still very enjoyable
It's fun seeing the boys all grown up. Yeah there aren't as many laughs as a normal show but I think it's a worthwhile tradeoff. I really enjoyed the whole Tegridy Weed plot in the past so I got a kick out of it that it made a return. It does end on a bit of a cliffhanger so I assume there will be a part 2, probably in lieu of another full season. I want to know more about Butters and is Cartman pulling off the most elaborate prank on Kyle of them all? I guess we'll all have to be patient a little longer.
Jiok (2021)
It's not like the trailer
The trailer looked cool. Nervous guy is in a coffee shop, the time changes to 1:20 and three huge smoke monsters crash through the windows, chase this guy down, beat the crap out of him and send him to hell. Great special effects & acting, so what could go wrong? Well, for the first 4 episodes (which are all I made it through), the smoke monsters rarely make an appearance. Instead the focus is on this doomsday cult and it's leader. Everybody just talks and talks and talks. The guy who said it picks up after episode 3, no it does not. I finally had enough of the boredom after episode 4. Maybe 5 and 6 are the best ever but good luck making it there.
The Shrink Next Door (2021)
Three episodes in, and
We're starting to see a shadier side of Dr. Ike and that he almost definitely doesn't have Marty's best interests in mind. Up until now I was waiting for something to actually happen and while it didn't yet, Dr. Ike definitely has something underhanded planned for poor Marty. I'm interested to see where this show goes.
Adrift (2018)
I haven't seen it but...
Her fiance actually disappeared while she was knocked unconscious and she made the 41 day journey herself. Yet the trailer shows him alive and well on the boat. Details like this are enough to make me not want to see the movie.
The Ice Road (2021)
Could've been good
If it weren't for the ridiculous plot, this might've been a good movie. Decent acting and cinematography but the storyline is completely unbelievable.
Endangered Species (2021)
Really bad CGI animals
It's been mentioned a few times but it really ruins an already bad movie. What could possibly go wrong sending a group of tourists out into the wilds of Africa on their own? It's just one stupid mistake after another.