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Penthouse: Sexiest Amateur Video Centerfolds II (1996)
Still Pretty Solid
'Sexiest Amateur Video Centerfolds 2' stays true to it's theme, delivers mostly amateur ladies taking it off unlike the third and fourth titles in the series. However it must be said it doesn't reach the mile high mark found in the first Penthouse title. Things have slipped just a little. Few scenes, ladies miss the mark.
A bit longer than necessary montage intro (1.5 mins) before we get down to "Nicole". If she looks familiar that's because it's model Nikki Nova who says a few words before it flips to her getting naked in bed. The amateur title is definitely up for dispute, but what isn't is her killer body. Then it's back outdoors to strip from a top, jeans and again plenty of nice views, decent camera work make it pleasant (7 mins). "Jacqueline" a dirty blonde shows you her stuff as she strips from an orange dress. Plenty of nice views continue as she moves to a chair and in bed. Tons of spicy kitty, butt shots here (5.5 mins). "Sky" says some quick words then on a couch in all red - top, leggings, bra, panties - shows you her goods before it's her in white. Wraps with her completely naked in front of a fireplace and taking black lingerie off in a chair (6 mins).
"Alexandria" the third blonde in a row is quick to get wet & naked in a back yard via a garden hose. Then it's close-ups in a lounge chair getting out from a bikini before a trip into a pool and posing (6 mins). "Monika" is another blonde with a foreign twist. Scores creative points for featuring her spinning around a red pole as she seamlessly changes clothes. A spicy look at her kitty / butt comes from behind, but real nudity is actually gonna follow on a couch. As she puts yogurt over her boobs, body suggestively before a strip from a green nightie in bed. No shortage of spicy shots, poses wraps it up nicely (6 mins).
"Michelle" is a brunette in and out of a blue dress near a windowsill initially. Then it retreats to the bed, but the pace / visuals take a dip in hotness here (6.5 mins). "Martina" another foreign beauty slips out of her dress on a couch. It's simple, but efficient and then a trip to the shower supplies a bunch of wet closeups (6.5 mins). "Celine" has her entire segment take place in the backwoods and doesn't fail when it comes to showing her off naked. However it didn't really excite, grab me (4.5 mins). "Candice" is shown off plenty naked on a couch and quickly, but the scene moves at a real slow pace. Stripping in a bright kitchen keeps the slow and steady pace, but is way better visually. Has more close-ups that you can shake a stick at (6 mins).
If you want ladies getting naked in home videos you can't go wrong choosing 'Sexiest Amateur Video Centerfolds 2' as a title. Not all of them are strictly amateurs per se, but the visuals are largely on point. Plus because it's Penthouse there's no ignoring the lower half of a female or say "trying to stay classy" like examples from Playboy.
Penthouse: Sexiest Amateur Video Centerfolds (1994)
Truly the "Girl Next Door"
Working my way thru this series backwards, I was shocked to find Penthouse's 'Sexiest Amateur Video Centerfolds' a really solid title that delivers on it's theme. These are legit amateur ladies in well shot home videos that have no inhibitions about showing your the goods between their legs. If you're looking for the idea done right this is your meal ticket.
After a standard montage intro (1 min) it's blonde "Kista" who says a few words about herself. I appreciated it was brief and didn't drag on before stripping in a living room. More brief words in between a move to the bedroom that has good camera work, many nice close-ups (7.5 mins). "Julie" another blonde wastes no time showing off her enhanced rack and lovely tan lines in the right places. Again many more close-ups and "key" shots make this a winner as she takes it off on a couch, pool table and finally in a sauna (7 mins). "Nikita" a lovely brunette switches things up nicely taking it off indoors or at a pool. The camera work stays a bit too far away for my tastes and shaky cam is in effect, but there's no denying that Nikita looks great and it's still able to be satisfying (7 mins).
"Yvette" says a few words then proceeds to get out of a red sweater, panties, bra on a couch. Many naughty shots / a focus almost right from the start on her kitty take things up a notch. The rest of her body is shown off nicely too and the same goes for later in bed, an outdoor jacuzzi (7 mins). "Victoria" with dyed bright red hair, a tattoo make her stand out. Of course plenty shots of her meaty vajayjay on the couch don't hurt. A transition to bed is standard but enjoyable (6 mins). "Alana" a pretty Filipino takes it off in bed and then gets out of a see thru body suit on a rooftop. The only thing holding it back is a slight discomfort / nervousness in front of the camera (5.5 mins). "Kay" is a good looking brunette who gets out of sexy black lite bondage wear to begin. Then in a backyard she strips from a top, jeans and lastly her at the beach to close things out (6.5 mins).
Later sequels in the 'Sexiest Amateur Video Centerfolds' series turn into a collection of largely professional models which begs the point of the whole concept. Luckily the OG PH title starts things off on the right foot. Husbands, boyfriends or whoever shot them -- you did your ladies right. Playboy also did this concept, ran a very similar type of series, but the visuals here are superior. Really enjoyed this title.
Penthouse: The Great Pet Hunt - Part 2 (1993)
Major Improvement
Penthouse's 'Great Pet Hunt Part II' sticks with showcasing ladies in real strip clubs, but thankfully the sequel is miles better than the original. From the way it's shot to the quality of nude visuals this is what they should have been aiming for the first time. I'm still in disbelief about 'Part I', but this partly made up for it.
Intro is a standard clipshow (1.5 mins) before "Lisa Aiton" - Pet Aug 1988 - has an interview then a little build-up outside the actual club with patrons before taking it off on stage. Low lighting hurts visuals, but Lisa is enthusiast & interacts with a few men in the crowd (9 mins). "Dominique St. Croix" - Pet Apr 1986 - shows off her big hair as well as those big guns she picked up in the early 90's via a black bikini. Very nice and double that feeling during lovely close-ups (5.5 mins).
"Ashley Lauren" has the usual chat in a nurse costume which of course you then see her drop out of nicely on stage. What I wasn't 100% sure about with Dominique I can say here (there's no crowd). In any case her strip delivers where it counts (3.5 mins). The late "Leslie Glass" - Pet Feb 1992 - gets an extended interview while clips of her on stage are show (the crowd is back). Dressed as a sexy french maid the uniform comes off as she twirls around. A bit with her spraying whipped cream on her boobs and then feeding guys in the crowd is fun (7 mins).
"Amy Lynn" Baxter - Pet Jun 1990 - is dressed in a white bridal gown before lingerie underneath. Things kick into a higher gear as she pours oil over her boobs, body which is always a winner. I can tell you that her panties never come off, but her butt gets a ton of coverage (7.5 mins). "Theresa Presley" - Pet Apr 1991 - has the standard talk in a red polka dot dress that really shows off her cleavage. Then it comes off on stage (no crowd) and a nice shot of her butt as she pulls her panties down (4.5 mins). "Sandi Korn" - Pet Mar 1991 - works a pole (crowd again) ditching her leather jacket then mounts a motorbike on stage no doubt so you can admire her ass in those jean cutoffs she's wearing. It never goes full nude and it took longer than I'd like to reach topless, but there's a nice shot or two of her boobs in the mix (7.5 mins).
"Janine" Lindemulder - Pet Dec 1987 - turns up at a pool where before hitting the water she poses in a green bikini. You get to see her topless, but it's short, slow and kinda artsy. Follow-up of working out / hitting a bed loses control with video effects, but shows her better than before (5 mins). If I was questioning things before the appearance of "Darien" mounting a motorbike filled in the gaps. I'd seen both of these ladies scenes in 'Girls of Penthouse 2' title also released in 1993. The latter is largely a tease that goes topless near the end (4.5 mins). Don't know if they came up short for footage or extra was added on for DVD, but this signalled a drop-off point. "Theresa" returns for a quickie rolling in bed topless (1.5 mins). "Seana" Ryan - Pet Sept 1992 - is on a set meant to appear like a strip club stage. She looks slammin' but it's too short to really get excited about (1.5 mins).
It's not lost on me how visuals in 'Great Pet Hunt Part II' are lacking Penthouse's unique brand of lower body nudity and there's later parts that are too short or miss the target. Maybe I'm being too kind or the original title was so horrible that I'm enthusiastic they turned things around here.
Penthouse: The Great Pet Hunt - Part 1 (1992)
Wow ... So Bad
Penthouse's 'The Great Pet Hunt Part I' threw me for a loop right away with a bunch of dated visuals and a cheesy quote onscreen. Looking like the 80's, I was shocked to find it came out in 1992 shot entirely in Canadian and US strip clubs. Darkly lit scenes do it no favors and neither does staying pretty tame. This is a video with a respectable sounding title where the contents don't match up.
Intro a mix of horrible video effects, interview snippets and ladies on stage (4.5 mins). "Jenna Persaud" a dark skinned lady in a bomber jacket, bikini underneath is up first and here's the kicker. She's never shown nude (2.5 mins). "Vanity" I believe the late actress who battled substance abuse issues is up next. Very short in length, but at least is shown naked near the end (1 min). "Tasha and Tisha" are twin sisters in matching dresses, bra, thong panties, leggings. Fully nude by the end, but as far as camera work goes consider it topless only and not very hot (3.5 mins). "Tina Mounce" is shown briefly on the same stage, but majority has her posing on a motorcycle full nude by the end (2.5 mins).
'Vanessa Young' doesn't leave a ton to talk about although her boobs, butt get shown (1 min). "Sonni Shea" works out as she talks about a love of bodybuilding and nude on stage (1.5 mins). 'Christine' drops from her black dress and shown topless (2 mins). 'Courtney Cleavage' has an appropriate stage name, but posing onstage half in a seethru bathtub isn't super hot (1.5 mins). 'Sara Norton' has the same interview, voiceover as all of them, but takes too long to get naked (3.5 mins). 'Melissa Wolf and Vanna Lance' sees the first only topless near the end before the latter joins, but no more nudity from either of them. Consider this one large tease and waste of time (4 mins). 'Tera Heart' sees her butt in thong panties then quickly topless so you can't complain in that regard (2 mins).
'Shyla Fox' quickly shows boobs in close-up and then dressed she dances around the stage. Naked by the end again (3 mins). 'Leanna Chambers' on old fashioned roller-skates allows her butt in thong panties to be shown off nicely and they throw in footage of her skating in public. Back to the stage as she wraps the Canadian flag around her topless body (3 mins). 'Robin Brown' - Pet Apr 1992 - jiggles her bare breasts and the panties go as water gets added to the mix (2.5 mins). 'Dominique Simone' goes full nude in a locker room before a dress, panties comes off on stage. Then a quick moment of putting paint on herself & a shower setup on stage (3 mins).
'Jennifer Starr' sees the blonde strip down and talk per usual before crawling along the stage (2.5 mins). 'Glorianne' better known as Glori Anne Gilbert wastes no time showing off her killer rack in a seethru top or naked. Gets a bit messy via paint, water and then squeezing lotion on herself (2.5 mins). 'Blondeshell' has the lady in B&W then color stripping outside at a house before getting down to doing it inside near a fireplace. The most well shot, best look piece of the entire thing (4 mins). 'Theresa' Presley - Pet Apr 1991 - has an onscreen interview followed by a montage of footage. In bed, bathtub, kitchen, couch and lastly in a bar. It's not bad, but it's tacked on rather shamelessly coming from other PH titles I had already saw (6 mins).
'The Great Pet Hunt Part I' is one of Penthouse earliest titles that you should skip seeing for sure. There's not much more than needs to be said and I don't think this would have even cut it 1992. Really poor stuff and the title doesn't have anything to do as far as I can tell with what's going on inside.
Playboy: 50 Years of Playmates (2004)
History Lesson
'50 Years of Playmates' isn't really a comprehensive trip thru Playboy's ladies. At least not in the way you may be thinking, hoping. A relation that won't come as a shock to seasoned PB video viewers. You quickly find it's about the company, history and everything it has represented, stood for over time. You get naked ladies in snippets or pictorials throughout and there's no denying in a manner they're center stage, but it's largely yet another documentary. Recycling clips, doling out talking head interviews once again.
There's way too much here to unwind, talk about at length. The main presentation is well put together and flows well enough via a narrator. Celebrity faces, PB staff, Hef (of course) as the ladies get spoken to in modern interviews or vintage material. You can buy into the themes, a vibe (sometimes straight-up fluff) or not at all. There's no getting past a heavy use of self promotion rolls out towards the end just as there's no denying the magazine made a lasting impact on human history. However if you want a "legit" Playboy title this ain't it.
Sex Under Hot Lights: Adult Stars Before They Were Stars (2001)
Very Lightweight
Call it riding a wave or an attempt to cash in, but Playboy's 'Sex Under Hot Lights' is an inside peak into hardcore. Depending on what you already know / your tastes it might accomplish it's mission. However I didn't walk away having learnt anything new and the visuals weren't very titillating. Honestly I'm unclear how this censored look would appease anyone highly.
Intro tries to play up a level of glamour / allure for the young women who come in search of fame where some naturally find themselves in this biz, but it feels very phony (1.5 mins). Juli Ashton, Sid Deuce, Dallas & Jenna Jameson are the ladies featured here heavily as a barrage of samey clips, bts footage and interviews roll out. Soundbites from select others names both male & female from the industry too.
Sid starts things off talking about herself, the work and such (11.5 mins). Next comes easily the most famous / successful female pornstar of all time Jenna. It has a lot of talk from the lady herself then other's fond words, but also is in favor of fantasy / image (lies) rather than her true story (11 mins). A mild diversion follows as an amateur lady films her first hc scene is showcased (4.5 mins).
Dallas has the same formula - bts as movies, pics are shot, interviews - however a chat with her boyfriend stands out. He's more than cool with his lady being boned professionally for money. Acts as her assistant of sorts and actually watches getting turned on by it (7 mins). Juli wraps things up and right away zeros in on trying to dispel the notion that people within the industry are damaged, suffering from trauma or have broken pasts. Her work on set is shown and then self promotion follows per usual (15 mins).
'Sex Under Hot Lights' if it's doing it's job right is supposed to either get you turned on, tell you something you didn't already know or both. It struck out on all accounts for me. Maybe fans of the ladies here have something to gain, but you'd be better off watching an actual hardcore porno with them instead if that's your scene.
Felon (2008)
Prison Sucks. Animals be Animals.
'Felon' doesn't waste any time setting up it's main purpose. 10 minutes in and the ball is already rolling on the list of every legal system, prison and scumbag piece of truth turned movie cliche you've ever seen. If you tolerate the heavy dose of familiar ground, predictability there's still pieces to savior, some real emotions. Ultimately I thought director Ric Roman Waugh nailed the premise better in his second try 'Shot Caller'.
Wade (Stephen Dorff) is a man with everything that matters going for him. Runs a business on the verge of expanding, a young son and soon to be married to fiancé Laura (Marisol Nichols). That all takes a left turn when their house is robbed and he accidently kills the man. Due to technicalities it's ruled murder which gets him three years with a plea. Inside he quickly learns prison life, politics, color lines and the battle to not lose hope first hand and later from hardened cellmate John Smith (Val Kilmer) with a heavy rep. There's also the code by which guards lead by increasingly sadistic Lt. Jackson (Harold Perrineau) maintain order and respect.
Instead of continuing to beat on the tired story drum, I'll focus on more of the cast. First and foremost, I was happy to see Nichols not stuck with a one note female role. Her pain, anguish, sadness & anger feel real and it gets fleshed out. It was also refreshing to see Nick Chinlund (X Files, Training Day) do another good guy in Sgt. Roberts. The late Johnny Lewis (Sons of Anarchy), Sam Sheppard pop up along with Anne Archer as do Mark Sivertsen, Chris Browning who'd go on to have roles later in 'Shot Caller'.
Supposed to be a hard hitting piece not one moment within 'Felon' felt fresh. Main trio - Dorff, Kilmer, Perrineau - turn in good work and while they might be built on real human nature, psychology all is familiar to anyone already versed in this cinematic world. It trucks along decently however until the last act, ending which feels more than a little fake, forced and all too convenient. Ultimately to get max enjoyment this tale has to be new to you and you gotta cut it some slack. Unfortunately that leaves viewers like me with not much to rave about.
In the Shadows (2001)
Yin and Yang
Really enjoying director Ric Roman Waugh's 'Shot Caller' made me look into his back catalog and with it's cast 'In the Shadows' certainly stood out. I read some spoiler free reviews and tried to keep an open mind. Can't deny there was some parts I really enjoyed, but also can't escape the plot felt too large in scope and unable to bring it all together at the end in a real solid satisfying manner.
Jimmy (Lillo Brancato Jr.) son of a revered NYC mobster does stunt work on the side for movies shot in Miami. When he's down there to do both a mob deal, stunts the latter goes wrong and he's killed. Mob boss wants vengeance and blames the highly skilled stuntman turned stunt coordinator Lance (James Caan) who he wants dead. Eric (Matthew Modine) not only a trusted hitman, but friend of Jimmy gets the job. However once he's down there awaiting a green light to do the job, he falls in love with Lance's daughter Clarissa (Joey Lauren Adams). Then gains a taste for stunt work himself and a mentor in her father.
Modine with slick looking but obvious dyed hair is able to navigate the emotional arch the role requires. Caan steals the screen in scenes (his effortless charm) and Adam's role really pulls at your heartstrings as a pediatrician doc looking after children dying due to cancer. Brancato who delivered nicely in 'A Bronx Tale' & 'Sopranos' has a very small role much like Cuba Gooding Jr largely involving the side-plots with the mob that honestly aren't that interesting and only clutter up the story.
'Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood' & 'The Fall Guy' very recently has brought in a new wave of films focusing on stuntmen and either lightly or heavily basing it on their work. Of course 'The Stunt Man' in the 80's bears mention too. Maybe if 'In the Shadows' was more about that and it's likable characters it could have been better. Dangling plot threads about the mob are not just cliche, but also very boring. Of course a bum ending doesn't help too.
A Passion to Kill (1994)
Cloudy with a Chance of Stupidity
'A Passion To Kill' is a cheesy piece of work you can spot from a mile away so enjoy it as-is or avoid any potential headache. It looks fine, acting is generally decent, but the plot device used is tired to put it lightly. Real husband & wife team of Scott Bakula & Chelsea Field do the erotic thriller song & dance. You know the score. Common sense thrown out the window, lite mystery and a hitlist of red herrings.
Psychiatrist David Lawson (Bakula) doesn't know what to do when his best friend's new wife Diana (Field) starts coming on to him and he's attracted to her. Soon Jerry (John Getz) is telling him of trouble in their marriage and asks him to speak to her. Things quickly amp up, they bang and then the real doozy hits - Jerry is murdered. Diane is initially suspect #1, but David doesn't wanna believe it. More evidence paints her in a bad spot, but if it's not Diane than who's setting her up?
Primary cast is full of faces who know their way around a T&A flick. Bakula (Color of Night), Field (Snapdragon) & Sheila Kelley (Mortal Passions) as David's assistant DA girlfriend who of course is painted to be a possible suspect. Seeing Chelsea naked is a treat, but everyone's contained in one of those tales where a guy can't think with his big brain. There's one or two major plot points that I won't divulge as they verge on spoilers, but this psychiatrist isn't the sharpest.
I've seen enough of these flicks to say this isn't the worst as nothing ever becomes painful. However the writing is on the wall quickly not that the title 'A Passion To Kill' didn't already partially spell it out. If you crave a dose of sex with a dash of murder this may satisfy your eager appetite. It's a well made dtv flick, but nothing is original or stands out.
Under Oath (1997)
Do More With Less
I don't know about you, but I've seen so many hard boiled cop thrillers I've lost track. Including the type with an unfair world as otherwise good men are tempted to the dark side for cold hard cash. 'Under Oath' obviously belongs to this genre and while it's story beats are largely stale a solid cast amongst some palpable tension make this low budget dtv flick a better watch than it should be.
Veteran detective Hollit (Jack Scalia) and partner Ramírez (Eddie Velez) are getting tired seeing scumbags skate on technicalities then the city puts a freeze to any cop raises. Hollit gets the notion to ripoff one of them to even the playing field, but the target they choose flashing big sums of money turns out to be undercover ATF and they accidently kill him. Being assigned the case gives them some breathing room, but evidence left and right means time is running out.
"We're supposed to be the good guys ..."
You get known faces James Russo as a police captain, Richard Lynch & Robert LaSardo putting in rare good guy roles as ATF plus Abraham Benrubi. Lastly a blink and you'll miss it bit part for Clint Howard as a corrupt cop. The main characters might go down in predictable fashion, but Scalia & Velez ultimately hold everything together. Both feel real.
"It's just you and me now ... all we got is each other."
'Under Oath' is a flick with a tale that's a dime a dozen. However this familiar morality play hits better than some ones who did it with bigger budgets, casts, directors etc. Genre fans might want to check this one out and it's certainly head & shoulders above most pics New Concorde and legendary shlock producer Roger Corman put out.
Playboy: Inside the Playboy Mansion (2002)
Who's This For?
I'd love to know in hindsight how titles released by Playboy focusing on history and less about female nudity fared. Did anyone care? Did a lot of people buy 'Inside The Playboy Mansion'? I'm a fan of the company for the most obvious reason. A tale of Hef and the famous property thru the ages has never been my interest.
The intro plays up not just the ladies, but the celebrity parties and Hef's once spotless image (1 min). "Behind the Gates" is the allure, famous faces, all the kickass events over the years though purely surface level (8 mins). "Beautiful Roommates" plays up the fantasy, Hef's girlfriends for a photoshoot as candid footage and talking heads continue. In the mix is Shannon Tweed who says some real down to earth things (11.5 mins).
"Hot Off the Press" switches tracks from being heavily centered on Hef (at least initially) to those Playmates within the magazine as ladies are shown typically naked. Modern day examples, but also vintage shots. Then lots of talk involving his upbringing, "girl next door" look and other topics (9 mins). "Pampered Guests" (11.5 mins), "An Empire Grows" (12.5 mins), "Sexy New World" (11.5 mins), "Never Ending Gala" (9 mins), "Unstoppable Hef" (10.5 mins) and "Better Than Ever" (7.5 mins) keeps all the usual visuals, themes, people running with quick stops into the past up until circa 2002.
I quickly tired of every element found within 'Inside The Playboy Mansion'. Endless interviews, praise, an overly positive tone. There's a humorous soundbite or two along with groovy vintage party footage, but it's not worth 90 minutes. Just leave me be with your titles of pretty ladies getting naked and save the rest for someone else.
Renegade Force (1998)
Well Worn Territory
'Renegade Force' aka 'Rogue Force' starts off looking, feeling like an adequate little dtv actioner from the 90's especially if you like Michael Rooker, Robert Patrick. The obvious story cliches about vigilante hard boiled cops don't do it much favors and the story sinks as it goes along. Too many dumb characters, bum lines of dialog.
The efficient murder of a mansion full of scumbags is the latest case of vigilante justice, but Homicide Detective Simms (Diane DiLascio) can't pinpoint who's responsible. FBI Agent Cooper (Rooker) brought onboard has more of a handle on it. He's sure it's cops responsible and SWAT Sgt. Macllroy (Patrick) is looking more and more like the likely leader.
Early on scenes of action are shot, edited well which many people hype up due to the fact real SWAT police procedures are used. A title card in the end credits cements the fact that real life skilled men helped out, participated in the film. Though this sentiment is largely gone towards the end as the opening piece is really the best thing here.
As for the cast, Rooker gets to play a hardcore obsessed cop which is totally in his wheelhouse. Patrick dons the police uniform again after his breakout as the T-1000 in 'T2', but is also saddled with the pic's obvious bad guy. Plenty of speeches, mixed messages carried out hastily for his character. There is a few supporting roles, but none are memorable from either an acting standpoint or how they tie in.
'Renegade Force' got lost in the shuffle of countless 90's dtv action trips and for good reason. A few moments rise above, but as a whole it's a rather generic experience for seasoned viewers and cannot be taken seriously. Fans of the stars might wanna give it a go as it's certainly not the worst thing on either man's resume. However nothing will wow you.
Playboy: Celebrities (1998)
This Sucks
If you're in the mood for Playboy recycling footage to cash in once again then look no further than 'Celebrities'. 68 mins thrown together trying to pass itself off as a classy title. A look at the once famous PB at it's height and the more famous woman who appeared for them. As someone who's seen his fare share of vids, most was old-hat and what was not was a bore. That's the bottom line.
Your typical montage intro plays up old history going for charming, sophisticated and it might work on those who don't know any better. Know what really is going on here (1 min). Then to no shock they zero in on most popular lady Pam Anderson right away. Old pictorials, same narrator voiceover continues and nude material I've seen countless times - getting wet from a pipe, boy/girl romance (6 mins). Jessica Hahn and it's the same concept. Pics and a piece taken from her Celebrity title (6 mins). Shannon Tweed gets the same treatment (8 mins).
By now I think you get the picture. It's lazy, greedy. Carmen Electra (6 mins), Donna D'Errico (6.5 mins), Dian Parkinson (6.5 mins), Erika Eleniak (3 mins), Anna Nicole Smith (9.5 mins), LaToya Jackson (4 mins), Jenny McCarthy (9 mins). LaToya was the sole piece that was new to me and I had wondered if I should give her Celebrity title a go eventually, but this firmly squashed that idea if nude visuals doesn't go past topless going by this piece of evidence.
Any fans of the ladies would have already seen this material which means they either were trying to dupe the naive, excited or catch new viewers not in the know. Whatever the case 'Celebrities' is awful from all angles. I mean ... Carmen Electra ... the best piece you could show is a music video in which she sings, but never gets naked? Yeah okay.
Penthouse: Paradise Revisited (1992)
Showing It's Age
Penthouse's 'Paradise Revisited' is for all intense purposes the sister video to Penthouse's 'Passport To Paradise' that unfortunately shows its age. From dated title cards, graphics to lots of talking, nude visuals that don't come quick. A very mild level of titillation is all this has in store.
A typical montage intro gives way to a photographer yapping on about what makes for good photos, models (2 mins). "Linda Johansen" - Pet Sept 1990 - sets the stage in the jungle near a waterfall. Sporadic nude sights, talking, posing, setting up. It's gets more spicy showing off her kitty towards the end, but I can't lie and say I was really turned on by any of it (11 mins). "Lola Anders" - Pet Feb 1989 - is one gorgeous lady and the camera does the right think showing her oiled up body in close-up multiple times. Unfortunately more of the same elements. Setting up, talk, dated (10.5 mins).
"Thaina Mark" is a model who appeared within PH, but never became a Pet. The good news is once it gets down to showing her posing at the helm of a yacht the visuals are nice. The bad news is you had to endure talk, a bad story segment aiming for laughs (no nudity) before you arrived at this (10.5 mins). "Mikki Brenner" - Pet Nov 1989 - allows the foreign lady a moment to speak and do the standard mix of posing (11.5 mins). "Soraya Valdez" gets to posing on a raft and does a nice job of equally showing off her lovely accent and nice bum. Still a bit too slow for my liking, but Soraya looks great so not a complete waste (11.5 mins).
'Paradise Revisited' is one of those titles that leaves you nothing to get excited about. A product of a different period. If you enjoy the simpler things or can get onboard with a what-you-see-is-what-you-get bare bones presentation you may enjoy it in parts. Not a complete loss.
Penthouse Passport to Paradise: Hawaii (1991)
Tropical Sights
'Passport To Paradise: Hawaii' rewarded viewers with female nudity in 1991 when it came out, but watching it now dials up how dated the presentation is. On the flipside you get vintage looks at old names and for me the likable 90's big hairstyles for women and decent visuals.
"Fun In The Sun" serves as a high energy intro playing up the bikinis, sun and of course the tropical destination. All five women get a staged intro complete with title cards as they arrive at the resort before sights of them laying in the sand, playing beach volleyball and such. A topless lineup shot of them all is the highlight as far as nudity goes here (4.5 mins). "Paula Lerchenfeldt" a bikini model of the day bares it all quickly at the beach in a recliner looking great. Slow pace, but many nice shots of her (7.5 mins). "Kelley Jackson" - Pet Oct 1990 - is better known as hardcore star Racquel Darrian. Ordering a drink at the beach lapses into a romantic dream eventually arriving at her stripping from an evening gown solo. Lots of lusty shots of it coming off plus the bra, panties, leggings. Trip to a hot tub briefly wraps up the visuals (12 mins mins).
"Sandi Korn" - Pet Mar 1991 - treks thru Hawaiian brush, underground cavern before getting naked, wet in an outdoor shower. Obviously the part we crave it doesn't let you down. Plenty of close-ups and a copious use of slow-mo to soak up every itch of her body (10.5 mins). "A Night On The Town" sees them do their makeup, dress before heading out. Few topless shots in the mix (2 mins). "Janine Lindemulder" - Pet Dec 1987 - is front and center focus at a nightclub. Shakes, dances before a fantasy strip takes over where lighting becomes an issue (8 mins).
"The Coral Reef" sees the group take to a yacht, get into bikinis on deck and go scuba diving, snorkeling. Nudity takes a backseat to creatures under the sea and such thru tons of underwater photography though it does finish on them all laying out sunbathing nude quickly at the end (4.5 mins). "Amy Lynn Baxter" - Pet Jun 1990 - is on the yacht in a captains shirt that quickly comes off. Lot of topless shots of her when the bra goes and then finally the panties. With a sultry voiceover from Amy and her blonde tanned looks set the mood (6.5 mins).
'Passport To Paradise: Hawaii' feels like an old title from the outset. It never rises above, but I also ain't disappointed. If you hunger for a vintage piece of 90's softcore when talking, filler doesn't take over the nude sights this is a good pick all things considered. Not all of it is a winner, but enough to make for a decent watch.
Playboy: Strip Search Backstage (2000)
Quit While You're Ahead
'Strip Search Backstage' belongs to Playboy's long running 'Strip' series focusing on clubs, ladies dancing within. My first taste 'Sexy Showgirls & Dirty Dancers' was a good video verging on great if not for a few missteps. I was hopeful this entry could met that bar, maybe even surpass it. Unfortunately it went the complete other direction.
A typical montage intro drops nude sights and a lot of soundbites via "Helmetcam Man" interviews for a bad omen (1.5 mins). Double down with more interviews right away (1 min). "Sadie" chats briefly as she does her cowgirl strip and the visuals are on point. However they throw Destiny into the mix diluting it (3.5 mins). "Cheyenne" Silver follows next and she'd later become a Penthouse Pet with enhanced breasts (4.5 mins). Cue another minute of interviews afterwards. Yay.
"Amanda Love / Blake" has the two ladies intercut, but the visuals did as much for me as the generic rock track playing in the background. Which is to say not much (3 mins). "Autumn / Evette" chat, dual stage intercut routine. Wish they supplied more of Evette, but as a whole this underwhelms too (4 mins). More talking about what the ladies think is their best asset (1 min). "Julia Ann / Sabrina" is a duo act on the same stage. I've always been a fan of Julia since her appearance in PH vids, but this is a snooze quite honestly (2.5 mins).
Favorite thing about dancing is the next topic so boring soundbites can be dropped on you. What makes it even worse is these clips use woman who aren't even seen on stage. They talk to a delicious brunette who pulls out her guns and don't even tell you her name (1 min). "Jasmine" was last which flows into her stage strip. Like parts that came before the energy is off and they choose to cut away to blah shots (3 mins).
More chatting a bit spicier, but still filler (1 min). "Devon / Natasha" are the next ladies, but left me unfulfilled some more (3 mins). "Hope" has a chat then followed up by her on stage slipping from a white dress as another lady gets inserted into the mix (2.5 mins). More talk (1.5 mins) before former adult star "Alisha Klass" takes it all off (3 mins). "Santini" has a saucy interview and then does a red white & blue strip heavy on patriotic colors. Any excitement I had quickly went away (4 mins). More sex talk (1 min) leads to the strip of both "Pamela / Allie" but not much has improved (3 mins). More chatter (1 min) then "Dita Von Teese" and her unnamed female partner do lite bondage. Nothing great (4.5 mins).
There's not much to like about 'Strip Search Backstage' start to finish. From the way it's shot, edited, the vibe, all the damn filler. The visuals are largely lacking and it became a real pain to finish. You messed up royally when women stripping and taking their clothes off is boring. Skip it.
Small Town Girls (2002)
Not Quite
'Small Town Girls' has a title well within Playboy's usual themes, but get ready for a surprise. This isn't sights of small town America, simple but well shot setups of pretty "girls next door". Nope it's another edition in their 'Strip' series as clothes get taken off on stage in a club mixed with interviews, b-roll filler. Crystal Knight hosts an average package at best.
A typical montage intro and 'Strip Search: Small Town Girls' title card spells it all out (1 min). In a stripclub in Ohio you've about to see a mix of amateur ladies and professionals. "Alisha Lee" is up first getting out of a fashionable fuzzy getup winter approved. Camera work, angles is pretty good and shots, noises of the crowd amp up the energy at least initially. A bottle of champagne poured down her into a glass and given to a guy centerstage was cute. Happy to see him drink it too haha (3 mins). Street chat with the featured ladies & host gets you a quick shot of Crystal's boobs (1 min).
"Karma / Maria" has the first lady strip from a genie outfit while the second lady is shown "in the champagne room". Both are hotties for sure, but the constant cutting back and forth between them in quick clips tired. Maria could have gotten a scene to herself as far as I'm concerned if not more focus that she gets here (3 mis). "Felicia Fox" billed as an adult star gets a chat with host before hitting the stage as a sexy nurse. A bit of crowd interaction again is the highlight (5 mins).
More chatting with the ladies, host about boobies, nipples (1 min) before it's "Monica / Tabby" in the same main stage / champage intercut setup as before. Honestly not a ton here got me excited (3 mins). "Candie / Deeann" gets a chat with Crystal before a tame girl/girl romp on a bed involving candle wax, blindfold and lotion (3 mins). More chat kills time (45 secs) before "Haven" hits the stage. Some flame pyrotechnics stood out and she certainly looks great, knows how to move her body ... but wasn't this supposed to be about amateur small town girls? What happened to that (3.5 mins).
"Selina" talks with Crystal and hits the stage intercut with "Penni & Maria" on a bed. This back and forth mix is still not my fav and it's too bad because lighting, camera work is pretty good. Could have done without a light plug for the club too (3.5 mins). Another chat leads to "Candi / Brice" peeling out of dresses per the dual setup (3.5 mins). "Taya / Amanda" has a brief chat with the first lady and if she looks familiar it's Taya Parker. A future Penthouse PotY, reality tv contestant. Happy to see her get the lion share of focus on the main stage, but not as hot as I was hoping (4 mins).
A trip to sex shop is more filler (40 secs) before "Mina / Christine" do their thing on stage (3 mins). Back to the shop to kill more time (1.5 mins) before "Alisha Lee & Penni" do a duo routine on the main stage. Again candlewax is in play as well as a spicy closeup or two (2.5 mins). "Shannon Toy / Deeann" starts with a chat between Shannon, Crystal before the intercut routine (3.5 mins). "Sasha Detriech / Michele Katz" chat, do a lite bondage themed piece in bed (3.5 mins). Chat in a limo, all the girls on stage provides a wrap-up (3 mins).
Even if you don't get caught up on the title, theme and a bait 'n switch going on here, 'Small Town Girls' never becomes a solid video. There's likable bits & pieces, but it lacks momentum. Wasted potential, too much cutting to filler that no guy really cares about seals the deal.
Sledgehammer (1983)
Poor Jimmy
Remember in 'Friday the 13th' how Jason Vorhees's mom hated the camp counselors who didn't save her son from drowning so she lost her mind and went kill crazy? Ok well 'Sledgehammer' pulls a switcharoo. A crap mom locks her young son in a closet so she can sex her lover. Yes really. Yes he's only credited as "Lover". Yes both are killed for it. Now ten years later a bunch of young folks hit up this house for a vacation and he's all grown up waiting to bludgeon them to death.
Beyond the stale rip-off notes wafting thru your nose, I can tell you it's a shot on video extremely low budget nightmare ... but not in a good way. Director slash writer David A. Prior's very first foray into badness, he stretches out scenes like it's an art form here. Moments with no payoff are common. Dialog that sounds like it was made up on the spot. A supernatural element for the killer that comes and goes randomly.
A huge food fight ... a guy (Jimmy) actually resists having sex with an overly willing female ... taking the sledgehammer to the head done so hokey that it's funny. Padding the runtime means you see this twice. Painful dialog listening to two people argue about what to do after finding some of their friends killed and the voice of reason is talked down by the dumb hero (Ted Prior). Who I might add spends at least 50% of the flick topless to showoff his ripped physique.
Never thought highly of any David A. Prior films, but 'Sledgehammer' made a few seem competent in comparison. I won't give him credit, say he got better with time, but bigger budgets, experienced crews and known faces in the cast slumming it for a paycheck certainly help. I thoroughly disliked my time with this flick.
Raw Justice (1994)
All Pain, No Gain
'Raw Justice' has largely been forgotten about other than Pam Anderson getting naked. Let that idea simmer for a second because it doesn't get much better once you start watching. It's mostly par for the course for director / filmmaker David A. Prior. Cliches by the boatload and a real lack of energy cement the final result. Reading reviews some people actually think this is a mildly enjoyable time and want you to believe that. My advice? Don't.
Mace (David Keith) was a loose cannon cop who got bounced off the force and turned bounty hunter / skip tracer. He once dated Mayor Stiles (Charles Napier) daughter too. When she's murdered and patsy Mitch (Robert Hays) is framed, arrested for it, he's asked to keep an eye on him when he's mysteriously bailed out. Deputy Mayor Jenkins (Stacy Keach) is involved somehow and now the two men, a prostitute (Anderson) have to stay alive long enough to figure it out.
Leo Rossi turns up as a bent police detective (maybe Mace's ex partner) as the pic slowly drops in IQ. He fit into HER clothes? Why did that car blow up? That ramp just happened to be set up there? Plan is to forge a fake chapter in the deceased daughters book to get power?? Writing was never Prior's talent and it shows. Anderson is told she's gotta stick close because two hired goons (who are dead I should add) saw her with both Mace & Mitch.
Hays gets a flat role that doesn't offer him much. Keith is supposed to be cool - alcoholic, chain smoker, badass fighter - a walking talking cliche though not very smart. Almost gets his head blown off at the start. Pamela has sex with them both. Prior's brother Ted has a part of course and the Prior school of directing dictates a big burly fat man can sneak up on a hero if they're coming from offscreen. Yay.
'Raw Justice' is like most dtv titles ... low budget, low on fresh ideas. They had the common sense to shove Anderson on the box cover so they weren't stupid, but this isn't a solid b-movie. Not even fun in the "so bad it's good" kind of way. Track down the four min clip of Pam getting naked and use 85 mins to do something else with your day.
Girls of Penthouse 2 (1993)
Right Direction
'Girls of Penthouse 2' has scenes, women from the 90's era of the past company as opposed to the 70's, 80's sights found in the original. It's a wise move that greatly benefits viewers looking for a straightforward piece of erotic. Not all of it hits the mark, but enough pieces to make for an alright one time view.
After your standard montage intro (1 min) comes "Jasmine" - Pet May 1992 - first in the pool or posing nearby. Underwater shots, unique tan lines down below and spicy shots round out the package here to begin. A brief interview follows then a bunch of montage footage. Some in sepia or B&W which is blah, but also colored footage of her ripping out of leggings, having a picnic in the mix. Poolside and the latter easily the best material of her (10 mins). "Theresa" Presley - Pet Apr 1991 - is in a leadoff interview followed by a brief sight of her topless in bed. Then right to her in the bathtub pulling her panties aside, off. Like Jasmine it's a package montage deal here too. Before it settles down to an actual full blown strip inside a vacant bar (9 mins).
"Janine" Lindemulder - Pet Dec 1987 - probably most well known for her hardcore movie exploits. Posing, naked poolside starts things before a montage of her working out, naked at the beach or in a bed. It settles down into a proper scene of the latter, but the footage has a washed out look to it. Probably came from the 80's when she was named PH Pet (7 mins). "Darien" is on a motorbike in a high energy spot from the way she moves to the hard rock track playing. It's really a tease though. Takes quite a while to reach topless and then full nude (6 mins).
Back to "Theresa" as she talks about the joys of laying in bed thru voiceover as she slowly strips out of a bra, shorts. Yummy shots of her kitty standout before it turns to her (and two additional blondes) naked in a house's hallway. Silly sepia shots, but also many in color with lots to look at (6 mins). "Nightstalker" is a storied piece about a woman who looks to be trying to escape an attacker at night which leads her into an alley. Turns out to be a highly charged game between lovers. The lady in question (Pet Sonja McDaniel) looks great, but too much time spent on story and the simulated sex left me cold (8 mins).
In a series that got better as it went along, 'Girls of Penthouse 2' finds itself in the middle both literally and figuratively. There's good pieces to enjoy here - more so if you prefer blondes - but a few parts really miss the mark. Consider this a must-watch if you're a fan of Theresa Presley.
Girls of Penthouse (1984)
Visions of the Past
The original 'Girls of Penthouse' dips into the company's vintage ladies, footage. We're talking 70's and 80's here for the record. If you can make the adjustment or wanna give it a spin for nostalgic sake you'll find some merit. However if your purpose is much simpler - looking for some steamy erotica - pick a different title.
Vintage pics from the magazine highlight their preference for showing off the lower half of a woman. More spicy and serves as a light intro (1.5 mins). "Feline Fantasy" sees a lady (Maria Vargus) play a harp briefly in a scene high on artsy flavor, choices. Smoke machine, wardrobe changes, cat-like makeup, but also some nice brief shots of her laying on a bed (4.5 mins). "Bad To The Bone" plays up the attitude via a motorbike theme, title music track (cover version) and the featured lady (Danielle Martin). She struts her stuff on the bike, a bed within a set made to look like a trashy back alley (4.5 mins).
"The Locket" starts off on a lush estate of the olden days as a boy/girl romance goes down in the grass. Though as quickly as it starts its over - revealed to be a dream. Turns out the young woman is procrastinating over learning the piano. Help comes via another young lady (Raven) and the two end up making out, teaching each other pleasure in bed as angelic music plays (14 mins). "Ghost Town" is two young women out for a joyride who reach a deserted western-like town per the title. As they go off to explore things one girl encounters a cowboy (a ghost?) in a barn who equally pleasures / ravages her body romantically and it's another dream ... or was it? LOL (9.5 mins).
"Tattoo" is two ladies already partially nude as one gets a tattoo done. Naturally they get down to sexy times afterwards in bed. A spicy shot or two, but also slow and relaxed like most of the proceeding vintage scenes (5.5 mins). "Use Me" is a really cheesy number with a guy in sunglasses, max strobe lights and an energetic blonde who gets naked on a bed. Heavy on 80's vibes (5 mins). "Centerfold" is the last piece and at first feels tacked on. PH founder and photographer Bob Guiccone does a session with PotY 1977 Victoria Johnson. You get to hear from them as the scene rolls, on camera interviews and see her nude posing and such (13 mins).
There isn't anything in 'Girls of Penthouse' worth getting excited about. I appreciated the flashbacks, but the nudity isn't wall to wall and is naturally dated. A second viewing seems unlikely and it's a challenge to recommend this to modern audiences for the right reasons.
Penthouse: Forbidden Fantasies (1994)
Too Quick To Judge
'Forbidden Fantasies' has the honor of newly crowned PotY Julie Strain's name in the mix, but know right now she's only the host. Bookended in two dialog pieces and none of the naked sights you might be hoping to see from her. That's a real downer, but the rest of this 1994 title has some nice spots if you'll willing to look past that and the fact that no big named Penthouse Pets are here.
Typical montage intro, title card and setup from Julie starts things off (1.5 mins) before "Roller Rink Of Love". A very dated feeling, but well shot boy/girl that has fake humping, but also close-ups of the lady (Kelly Winter). Boobs, trimmed bush on the floor of an actual rink (8 mins). "A Tale from an Arabian Night" has a harem of ladies (Kelly, Jordan Jorelle, Timi Lynn) inside a tent dressed the part. As queen or princess, Jordan - a tanned brunette with a killer body for sure - gets touched, pleased, shown the most initially. Then she gets Timi naked and goes to work on her as Kelly touches on, pleases the soul male guard. The simulated sex did get old for me, but can't deny numerous great shots are still in the mix (10.5 mins).
"A Programmers Ultimate Dream" sees a hunky guy's creation come to life in front of him on a set. A blonde lady (Teana Ray) quickly shown nude solo, teases him before getting down to straight-up sex. Well shot, well lit, lots of nice shots of Teana make this pleasing amongst them doing it as a wind machine off camera goes crazy (9.5 mins). "The Lonely Senorita" sees a dude on horseback come riding in. Then the lady (Monica Turner) in question comes down to great him and quickly they get down to some passionate banging. Once again Monica is a tanned brunette with a killer body and although simulated sex scenes aren't my fav the pacing is pretty good (6.5 mins).
"Tribal Lust" isn't far from what came earlier. Ladies (Jordan, Timi) dressed the part are outdoors as a tribal dude bangs on a drum with a roaring fire nearby. The girl/girl happens pretty quick. Spicy shots of Timi bent over with her kitty on full display to the camera. Then a third lady (Beau) shows up and a brief threeway. A lite boy/girl between Timi and the guy as Jordan continues to be pleased by Beau. Well edited, many nice shots including Timi's boobs 'a bouncing in doggy-style before brief words from Strain closes things out (10 mins).
After viewing two videos from Penthouse featuring plots, heavy on simulated sex, feeling much like underwhelming T&A flicks, 'Forbidden Fantasies' was a treat. I was too quick to judge this based on recent history, but can't deny the visuals came thru. Sometimes in a really big way. It's not top tier PH, but it's a solid watch.
Lipstick Girls (1997)
Nothing To Write Home About
'Lipstick Girls' is another Penthouse 90's title with a T&A level of plot. A concept that flowed when that genre was much more alive and money was to be made. The story isn't painful and is actually quite threadbare. Only existing to get us from scene to scene of female nudity. Issue is the visuals won't largely knock your socks off.
Typical montage intro shows the boy/girl trysts, lesbian romps with Lydia Schone - Pet Jan 1995 - front & center (45 secs). Her having a massage sets up going to a club, an ex-flame thru dialog for story, but of course also turns into her getting a full body rubdown from the male employee (4 mins). A trip to a salon becomes a threeway girl/girl with ladies (Monica Mendez, Tammy Parks) that hits all the usual bases. Kissing, touching, emphasis on boobs. Tammy compliments Lydia's lipstick so she gives it to her setting off the very loose strand connecting the sex scenes here ... per the title (7.5 mins).
Arriving home Tammy gets on the elevator with a dude (T&A face Everett Rodd) and recounts how it broke down last week. No sooner than she's applied the lipstick does the thing lose power. Cue sexy times, clothes coming off. Tammy has a great body, but this doesn't show it off well going thru the fake motions (7.5 mins). Telling the tale to a female friend (Claudine Jennings) who admires her lipstick leads to them getting down. The 69 position is interesting, but not much real heat (4.5 mins).
Lydia at the club with another friend (Dyanna Lauren) spots her ex-bf with new lady (non-nude Crystal Knight). Bit of dialog, tries to make him jealous by dancing with another dude (adult star Steven St. Croix). Then Claudine shows up lends the coat check lady her lipstick and make out, get naked. Kissing, fake oral before more dialog to set up future scenes (10.5 mins).
Dyanna and St. Croix get sexual at the club after hours. If you've got a fondness for simulated sex this might do something for you. A select shot or two of Dyanna looking fine was all I could salvage (8.5 mins). When Lydia gets home she's shocked to find her ex waiting for her. You know where this is going. She's not over him, he's caught up in lust and says all the right things. Lydia looks fine and if you ever wanted her in a T&A quality sex scene this checks that box (12.5 mins).
'Lipstick Girls' feels low level. From the sets, insert shots & a story that would be more than adequate if hotter visuals were here. As a fan of Penthouse, I can say this doesn't come close to their best. However if you view this title as a simplistic T&A flick you'll be fine if those still make you happy. Otherwise chalk this up as a letdown.
Keys to Fantasy (1998)
Doesn't Cut It
When companies such as Playboy, Penthouse realized there was a market for softcore sex on video or cable tv they looked to cash in. Started pumping out these titles with minimal story, but lots of sex, nudity like a T&A flick. 'Keys to Fantasy' is one such video and honestly most of it is downright poor, a bore. PH's focus on the lower female half is here, but even this element barely salvages things.
An intro sees an attractive blonde pose, show off her shaved kitty in nice fashion (2 mins). "Distant Cousin" sets the stage as Pet Mason Marconi working at a library is met unexpectantly by a female attorney who tells her a distant relative has died and left her everything. The tone is meant to be ominous, but it's just silly. As is the follow-up scene of Mason undressing for bed at home and a quick shot from a dream of her and another lady (5.5 mins). "From Rags to Riches" follows with the meet-up at the lawyers office, then arrival at the mansion she's just gained and a look around. "The Key to Ascension" is her spying thru a keyhole as a blonde strips (same one from the intro) and gets into a shower (10.5 mins).
"The Guidelines" has more dialog (not recorded particularly well) with the lawyer and her secretary. Then Mason snooping around the mansion (3 mins). "The Key to a Promise" is more dialog between a man & women as Mason listens before the obvious boy/girl. Really looks like the dude is eating her box, but otherwise simulated sex (14.5 mins). "Working Overtime" cuts back to lawyer, secretary before the latter strips, pleasures herself (7.5 mins). "The Key to Your Heart" is more dialog as Mason goes thru old letters as two dark haired ladies strip, pose with each other (10.5 mins).
"Chauffeur-Driven" finds Mason so turned on by this she runs outdoors at night and has to sex the driver. Some of the positions show Mason off nicely - though mild - while others don't (9.5 mins). "The Key to Hidden Desires" is more dialog as the lawyer meets up at the estate and they get down to a pretty tame girl/girl that goes on way too long (15 mins).
'Keys to Fantasy' would have been right at home during the peak of 90's T&A vids. Slightly more spicy when it came out in 1998, but time has moved on. The story here with it's inheritance / ghost ideas is flat and the nudity doesn't swoop in to save the day sorry to say.
Timecop: The Berlin Decision (2003)
Lofty Ambitions
'Timecop 2: The Berlin Decision' was quickly forgotten, dismissed as a so-so dtv sequel back in it's day and maybe for good reason. However at least initially it shows lots of promise to measure up to the theme, ideas the original brought and maybe surpass them. A more serious tone, villain with more to his motivations other than greed, power and real emotions. Then it's all swept away by cliches, a dumb plot.
When power of time travel is deemed too risky to be guarded by the TEC alone the Society for Historical Authenticity is born. Up thru their ranks rises Brandon Miller (Thomas Ian Griffith) to become its head. In 1940's Berlin TEC Agent Ryan Chang (Jason Scott Lee) successfully stops him from killing Hitler, but Miller's crusade is far from over. To complete his vision of righting humanity's wrongs, he'll go into the past erasing all TEC agents including Ryan from ever existing.
For what I'm sure was a project with a modest budget they at least try. A trip to Germany (per the title), but also America's 1800's, 1900's with the right looking wardrobe, landscapes. The age old question still here if time travel was real and you could go back and undo tragedies, stop people from dying senselessly at what cost would it come and is it morally right. Plus casting Lee, Griffith - two martial artists - ultimately makes sense with a fight finale. That's about where the goodness ends.
Time travel movies are always susceptible to paradoxes, leaps of logic, but the tale on hand is not it's strong suit. Why did he do this? Why not this instead? Plenty of scenes you'll roll your eyes at. Plus the movie is playing with a very loose set of rules. Ryan (Lee) goes back & forth as the baddies kill people, alter history and he's the only one unaffected remembering stuff ... and the ending? Not especially satisfying.
If 'Timecop 2: The Berlin Decision' couldn't be a solid sequel / b-movie, I wish it had been complete cheese. Throw care, emotions straight out the window. More bleached blonde hair for cast members, fisticuffs, gunplay etc. False hopes aside the start is stronger than the finish, but to view it you're gonna need to shut your brain off.