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hunger9
Reviews
The King and I (1999)
Crayola Classics
It has been said that a thousand monkeys working on a thousand typewriters would eventually come up with the script for Hamlet. If that's so, then this was obviously one of their earlier attempts. Why else would a monkey take center stage in this remake of Rodgers and Hammerstein's listless musical of the same name? And while they were using their hands to write the stumbling and obvious plotline (including an evil wizard (?!) with the typical maniacal laugh and bumbling sidekick), the monkeys were busy creating poorly drawn images with their feet. The best I can say about the animation is that it was probably done as paint-by-numbers using crayons, although monkeys are commonly known for drawing with their... wastes.
How do movies like this get made? Do people in hollywood actually think that children are dumb enough to watch this drivel? Just thinking about this flick makes me want to stab my brain with a q-tip, hopefully causing blissful amnesia, or maybe even a coma. Either way, the thought of this film would no longer haunt my worst nightmares.
The Neverending Story II: The Next Chapter (1990)
Thank God it ended
I have to admit I was actually looking forward to seeing this film, especially since I had seen the first Neverending Story when I was a little kid. It was undoubtedly one of my favorites; it was filled with fantastic characters and a storyline that didn't talk down to me.
Then I saw this movie.
I have never been a big fan of sequels in the first place, especially if the first story didn't have an ending. This sequel was one of the worst I have seen by far. It is overly simplistic, and I felt no sympathy at all for this new and older Bastian, who seemed dumber than rocks before the evil witch/queen/woman-with-weird-eyes started stealing his memory away. It wasn't even the same Bastian. Come to think of it, not one of the characters was played by the same actor. I get the feeling that they, even if they were out of work, wanted absolutely nothing to do with this hack-job of a film.