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Reviews
Max Payne (2008)
More like a tribute
The story is very loosely based off of the game. I was hoping for an exact retelling of the game but that's not what this is.
The visuals are great and capture the feeling of the game Max Payne, Mona Sax, Nicole Horne and Jack Lupino all look like those characters, there are hints at the game, very small snippets of the original score, design, mood that come across very well and there are even hints of the plot but the new stuff that's been added comes together to make for a rather sub-par movie at best. If you're a big fan of the game you'll enjoy a few things but don't expect much and if you're not a fan of the game don't even bother.
Lil' Bush: Resident of the United States (2007)
Terrible
When anti-bush jokes get really easy to do, a show like this had better make sure it has something extra. When that something extra is kid versions of political figures making jokes about the future they don't have yet, it's just plain nonsense. Dick Cheney and George Bush are done well but Dick Cheney mutters mostly. There's also Condoleeza Rice who has a crush on Bush for some reason and Donald Rumsfeld who isn't really that similar to Donald Rumsfeld at all. The democratic characters rarely give their names so it's a mystery as to who could be who aside from Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton.
The episodes have coherent stories but that's not nearly enough to keep this from sinking.
The 11th Hour (2007)
In dire need of better editing
In this you see shots of various landscapes both littered and pristine, shots of Leonardo DiCaprio talking to the camera around Los Angeles and various opinions from all sorts of people which all get meshed together to announce many things. It's too much. Out of the whole movie, I saw 45 minutes that didn't feel like an overindulgence in excess or a waste of time. The rest of the time, people are just reiterating things that were said previously amongst many vague facts and a few things that are being developed to help the planet. I wish more time had been spent on the things being developed and less on things just happening for no reason. A waterfall, a littered beach, an environmentalist, how about a break? Yeesh. This could have easily been condensed into a TV special.
Street Thief (2006)
A great film which has a secret that brings it down a bit
Anyone who has seen this should know it's a hard movie to review without giving away the big secret associated with it.
As I was watching it, I was surprised it hadn't been picked up by a distributor but after it ended, I realized why. Unfortunately it's not a secret that appears at the end of the movie and if you do too much poking around before watching this, you'll be able to figure it out on your own which will ruin your experience. I highly suggest seeing this without doing too much research on it. Not wanting to go blind into it? The movie follows a thief who cases places and then robs them. He goes from one job to the next staying two steps ahead of the people filming him by being mysterious but very revealing at the same time.
This is a well-shot film that also does a fine job of holding your attention. It's really captivating from the first few minutes and the movie doesn't let up until the end. However, the secret associated with the movie brings it down a bit. Highly recommended otherwise.
The Ten (2007)
Starts off pretty funny and loses a fair amount of it
Never having seen The State, I cannot claim to know any inside jokes if there were any in this movie but I have seen Wet Hot American Summer and Drop Dead Gorgeous and I thought those were great movies.
These are ten vignettes outlining the ten commandments. Some scenes go on way too long but there's enough fun to keep the movie going.
The fact that there's the back story happening between the vignettes makes this easier to tolerate later on when things start getting mixed up and significantly less funny. The humor is still there but nothing really comes close to the first few. The same characters pop up all over the movie though and there are lots of different types of humor that keep it going though. At a few times it really feels like a parody movie but it's also got a fair amount of satire, apparent improvised bits and an ending which you should be glad to see by the time it gets there.
The Simpsons Movie (2007)
See it at least once
The Simpsons Movie breaks a lot of ground for the show by doing things that the show could never hope to do such as partial 3D animation for the majority of the time and various edit-worthy bits. Some things might be shark-jump worthy for certain characters by breaking their innocence but that's probably worrying too much.
There are certain characters who only get one line and some characters who speak much more than they should as well.
There are lots of good jokes that are in this movie but a problem that keeps more of them from working is how horrible the timing is in this. During the show, there are points where people will take too long to react to something someone has said and that really hurts the joke. That happens a lot in this.
It's not as funny as the best episodes of the show but it's far above the worst ones and worth mostly anyone's time. Worth owning? Debatable.
Oh and what's up with Rainer Wolfcastle being President Schwarzenegger? That's just dumb.
Manufactured Landscapes (2006)
A slide show is a not a movie
The movie opens up with a long single shot of aisles in factory crammed with workers. My, what we've done to the planet you might think. I hope we get to see other things like this.
That's very rare. When you're not looking at a horribly filmed angle of the narrator at a lecture hall, you're watching him set up his camera to take pictures in different locations. It'd be nice if chose areas that were more fitting with his topic but he doesn't. So, then you'll hear some more narration, watch a few pictures go by and watch him set up his camera. Why not use the filming camera to show more of the landscapes instead? It really kills any sense of pacing and paints the guy as more of vain jerk.
I could read tips on how someone set up their camera, fast forward through this whole movie and waste a lot less time.
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (2007)
Your acceptance to this will entirely depend on your stance on gay issues and dumb laughs
It's definitely not without it's faults because up against Kevin James, Adam Sandler seems to be not caring about doing a good job for the majority of the time. There's a lot of pandering down to the audience with jokes and of those jokes, a high number of them are obviously gay jokes. Depending on your perception of gay issues, they might be viewed as gross-out jokes. It's hard to tell what the movie is going for. I imagine it will do little for gay rights because the way it presents itself and that's a shame because this would have been a great opportunity to open people up to accepting gay lifestyles. The ending tries to push that message across but then the ending takes the Hollywood way out and becomes very unrealistic.
However, Kevin James and Adam Sandler mesh well and there are many cameos which help. It's a feel good movie. If you can see it for a heavily discounted rate or on cable, you should enjoy it.
Rush Hour 3 (2007)
Feels much more shoddy than the previous two
What seemed so tight in the other two movies wasn't even worth thinking about but there are numerous flaws here which makes this entry feel very loose.
First, the plot is very slow for the first half of the movie and then way too fast. They don't even get to Paris until an hour into the movie and when they do, the movie quickly starts to wrap up. However before they leave, there's time for a pointless fight in a dojo with a very tall man.
The action scenes aren't as spectacular as the first two and there's some strange rule for this movie that doesn't let up with humor in points. It seems as if the movie is afraid to go stop joking around and that leaves room for a lot of jokes that fall flat.
I was entertained enough not to get bored but I wouldn't watch it again or even recommend it.
Hostel: Part II (2007)
Eli Roth is capable of making better movies than this.
Hostel 2 has a basic plot of same thing, different gender but it elaborates on the business to keep it from being merely a rehash and it does that by going behind the scenes to follow two customers on their way to take part in the twisted experience. When the movie isn't following the behind the scenes crowd, it's just a lower quality rehash of the first movie. Except in this one you know the order people are going to die right when you meet them, you know who the enemies are right when they're introduced and the only surprises left are how everything is going to wrap up. There are a few surprises in here that can be missed if you're not looking closely enough but they're buried under lots of bad jokes that don't work and just the feeling that you're watching a great director phone it in.
For example, his fake trailer in Grindhouse was an effective parody of the slasher genre but while he wasn't looking he became a parody of himself with this movie. Don't expect anything going in because that's what you'll get.
P.S. - Whoever is saying there's more gore in this one is wrong. There's a very short, very squeamish scene but everything else is obviously fake and there's less of it.
Chalk (2006)
Kind of funny but not really. I wonder what Morgan Spurlock saw in this.
A pseudo-documentary about teaching produced by Morgan Spurlock.
Okay...why? The whole thing sounds like a funny premise. Unfortunately, it isn't really that funny. There are funny scenes but they're few and far between. What kills the movie is most scenes which end as if they're supposed to be ending on a laugh. It's a common thing for pseudo-documentaries to do. However, the jokes that end scenes here aren't really that funny if they're even funny at all. I laughed a few times but I definitely I let out audible heh's more than actual laughs.
Also, beware of the moments that are supposed to be touching which come out of nowhere.
Mummies: Secrets of the Pharaohs (2007)
This didn't need to be an IMAX movie.
This feels like a history channel special. There were a few neat IMAX camera shots but not really enough to take advantage of the overly large screen.
There's some basic information about who the mummies most likely were, a view in on an experiment where some scientists make a modern mummy in order to try and figure out where to withdraw DNA from old mummies and some stuff on tomb robbers.
That's basically it. I'd advise seeing it if you're obsessed with mummies but otherwise there isn't too much you can get out of this movie.
Hurricane on the Bayou (2006)
Not what I was expecting but it kept my attention
I was under the impression this would be more about Hurricane Katrina and the after effects of it but it's mainly about a prodigal flutist and her reactions to the wetlands before and after. Her friend who lives in the wetlands gives an idea of how the bayou has been in recession but he sounds a lot like the rooster from Disney's "Robin Hood" so it's hard to not focus on that similarity.
If the documentary had decided to focus more on the wetlands, that would have been fine. However, it starts to dramatize Hurricane Katrina and uses computer animation at some points to show havoc being wreaked. There are also a series of picture frames that show action happening in each of them. Usually, it's two off to the side with the same action and something else in the middle. It was not necessary.
The IMAX camera is best used here when it's showing sweeping overhead shots but unfortunately the movie needs more than just the shots and an attempt at one person's story and it doesn't deliver anything else.
Premonition (2007)
Scraps of a neat idea turn into a laughably bad movie
Well, there's a poster that has nothing to do with the movie.
Anyways, this movie is about a woman whose husband dies and then when the next day arrives, he is alive again. What's going on? You can find out but it'd be best to have someone else explain it to you so you don't have to deal with this. What happens is a neat beginning for an idea...until it realizes that it needs to wrap everything up and by doing so it chooses a horrible ending that never explains itself leaving you to believe the idea could have been better if it was utilized by another movie.
Sandra Bullock is not the right person for this movie. Through the whole movie, I couldn't believe anything she was doing but there is one caveat to her being in this, it makes the bad parts laughably funny. At one point, she's outside hanging up laundry to dry on what seems to be a cold fall day when she slips and her hand gushes up against a dead bird on the lawn. It's pretty funny to see. There's also really obvious virtual glass that appears twice in the movie when a door breaks.
If you're renting this for a serious mystery movie, you're going to be really let down. Try it on as a laughably bad movie and it'll at least make the movie a bit more tolerable.
Shrek the Third (2007)
If you must see it, see it only once.
The thing about the Shrek series is that it's great for families and adults too. It's sad to say the adults won't enjoy this one even though the kids will but then again, kids will eat up any computer animated film that comes their way. It's true that all of the characters are back but besides a few jokes that really hit, most of them are just bad jokes. Not good bad jokes either, just jokes that really miss and will make you wonder if what just happened is supposed to be funny. Also, Justin Timberlake's character is annoying (although I guess he's supposed to be a brat) and the minor characters aren't given nearly enough to say. This is entertaining enough to finish watching once but repeated viewings will not hold up. Considering that this is the Shrek series and how entertaining the first two were, that's very bad.
300 (2006)
So beautiful. So stylish. So why does it not feel complete?
First off, this movie looks cool. It's the way the lighting is, how slow motion is used in the movie and the shots that look like they're trying to emulate something in the comic book series. Bottom line: the visuals are the pay off.
Unfortunately, that's about it.
The rest of the movie isn't that great. The slow motion can get incredibly annoying. The plot is just limited to the Spartans fighting the Persians and nothing else really happens. The narration and witty one-liners are kind of worth it but they can't save the movie. A movie to put on in the background at best.
Maxed Out: Hard Times, Easy Credit and the Era of Predatory Lenders (2006)
A great movie reduced to sloppy editing
This is about how the government and credit card companies make it so easy for people to fall into credit card debt and never recover. The film attempts to show what's wrong with both of the aforementioned sections but it doesn't really succeed because it doesn't get a chance to finish explaining everything. It cuts back and forth with stories from people who are in over their heads. That's nice to hear but the film cuts from one scene to a third scene and then back to a second scene. As you can imagine, that gets very confusing and shows how more editing would have made this an extremely powerful movie. As the film stands, it's just above alright but at the same time it feels as if it could be remade and achieve a better result.
Fired! (2007)
Not a movie
This can declare it's a movie as much as it wants to and that doesn't change anything. This is nothing more than a special to air between movies on the Sundance channel. If that's true, it's more than an hour too long.
As for what this is about: The lead gets fired from a Woody Allen play and needs the support of her friends support to move on. That's understandable but it's also a great setup for a bad sitcom. However, those friends are minor celebrities which might be somewhat interesting but it just ends up being annoying. All of the friends (as well as the lead) are trying to play the "pay attention to me" game. To make matters even worse, they're just complaining about their first jobs in such a way that you might think they don't know a lower class exists.
The Butterfly Effect 2 (2006)
Sequels Don't Rip Off The Plot From The First Movie
The first movie set up a great sequel by noting that the father had pictures he drew that he could flashback with and we were left to guess he must have painted himself into a corner by flashing back to a time when he didn't have any pictures left. It'd be better if the sequel focused on that instead. It doesn't.
This pointless sequel doesn't even relate to the first movie except for the father's face in a newspaper article during an internet search. It seems just like a retelling of the exact same plot except it's as if nobody cared about how the movie would turn out. It does have lots of terrible acting, awful effects ranging from an obviously fake scar to editing effects that don't add to the movie, overly predictable writing which enables you to guess most things before they happen and so many dull moments that last for so long it's a wonder if anything made it to the cutting room floor. The movie starts off being slightly worse than a made for TV movie and then fails to maintain or rise from that level. Pretend it doesn't exist.
Saw III (2006)
Weakest One So Far
While there are more traps in this movie than the others and the fact that they're more gruesome can only carry the movie so far. This one is missing what the other two had in terms of pacing and it really shows.
While Jigsaw is being operated on, there's someone else trying to make their way through various tests. When we're watching the new person, the film grabs your attention. When that's not happening, the movie loses a lot of steam very quickly because there's not much to watch during the operation. In fact, there's so much pacing that's lost that there are numerous cuts back to the other films to fill in various parts of the story in an attempt to keep it up. I'm guessing they just used extended footage from filming before because they're all built around scenes from the previous two movies. In addition, there are lots of quick cuts. Sometimes that makes it harder to understand what's happening including one scene where a mysterious woman is in the park which is then never explained in any sense. I know the quick cuts are a staple of the Saw franchise but they went overboard here.
This one also isn't really scary. More often than not, it shows things with incredible graphic detail which might make you turn your head away more than they'd make you scream.
Great writing fuses the two parts together beyond the ending you'll probably see coming and does manage to tie everything up so the typical cop-out ending for other modern horror films doesn't apply here which has always been a strong point for the Saw series. Then there are WAY too many quick cuts to sum up everything that has happened in case you weren't paying attention to most of the movie.
In the end I can't recommend it as highly as the other two films.
Princess (2006)
Gets progressively better as the film goes on
I knew nothing about this going in and it's not easy to tell what's going on for a good while. The plot reveals itself in a different way than most movies do and until there's a general idea of what's happening, the movie seems like an adult swim knock-off wannabe.
However, once everything is set into place, it's very gripping and stays with you until the end with a great story plus wonderful character depth and development.
The film is part animation and part grainy digital video. The digital video is used to represent a character who is no longer alive shown through home movies at random insertions. The home movies style kinda detracts from the story but it's not all bad, there's an interesting scene where a car crash from the outside is animated and from inside is shown with the grainy video.
Although, for the most part there's animation which is spectacular. I'm not sure if it's a company located outside of the country the film comes from but it's not in the exaggerated anime style. That means the animation is there but you're able to actually focus on the story. The style of animation also makes the violence pretty graphic. Understand that this is an R rated movie for a reason and some parts even in animation are tough to take in.
With proper distribution, this could become a midnight movie cult classic.
Sakebi (2006)
A terrible mess of a movie that doesn't make a lick of sense.
I've seen about four other Japanese horror films and they weren't too impressive. However, I could sense that there was a sensible script guiding the way.
Not here, no way. This is about a detective who is trying to tie together similar murders that have been happening. When he finds a suspect to question, the suspect freaks out because they keep seeing a ghost. Then, the ghost starts to follow the detective around FOR A REASON THAT IS NEVER EXPLAINED AND TAKES UP MORE THAN HALF OF THE MOVIE.
Bad enough? Oh no. The film keeps switching perspectives to different characters who don't have much to do with the story. I've seen this before in other movies where it shows a different perspective. Not the case here.
Also, whatever is happening on screen that is actually tolerable quickly ends. For example, there a few scenes with a slight instrumental score that builds up and...then it just cuts to another scene. I'm aware that this can be a dramatic effect. That's definitely not the intention here. It's just bad editing.
Finally, there's the "ghost" who just screams in a way that's not scary or unintentionally funny. It's annoying and it happens a lot throughout the movie.
All of the scares have been done before in better ways so you can see them all coming. Then after one of them, the movie is over. At that point, a wave of confusion swept over the audience as I could sense we all felt that we had wasted our time. Someone did a mock clap and laughter ensued. It was better than the whole film. Simply put, AVOID.
With God on Our Side: George W. Bush and the Rise of the Religious Right in America (2004)
The worst documentary I've ever seen
I don't get what this documentary is trying to do. If this is supposed to be about how politics and religion have combined over the years, it isn't. It doesn't do a good job in the beginning and then quits on that subject about halfway through. If it's supposed to be a conversion tool it fails on that as well and it also fails on how Christianity saved President Bush.
Overall, it keeps distracting itself and doesn't even end with any sense of a point being made.
If I had to pick a scene that best illustrates my point, it's the interview with Jerry Falwell about how abortion caused the September 11th attacks which is followed closely by a wondrous fanfare over the premature MISSION ACCOMPLISHED banner for the war in Iraq. Then, the end credits. See? No sense of direction whatsoever. Avoid this.