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Fruit-Flix
Reviews
The Wolfman (2010)
The Wolfman – "Teen Wolf 3 – The howling"
I found The Wolfman disappointing, it boasted a great story with plenty of twists & turns, and an assortment of talented actors turning in great performances – Del Toro plays his usual dark disturbed loner with chiseled features, Hopkins gives his "instant credibility just add water", and Hugo Weaving does his best 'Agent Smith goes back in time' impression which is excellent with some great comedy moments (unintentional perhaps??).
The only thing that lets this movie down is the Wolfman itself - I guess the costume from Teen-Wolf just doesn't hold up anymore. This is a shame as the whole movie hinges on the Wolfman itself, and while there is some grissly violence and nice action set pieces, the lumpy, hobbling wolfdude is just hard to take seriously, especially his no-balls howling.
On the Fruit-Meter Kick Ass gets the Rambutan- tastes good but looks ridiculous
Kick-Ass (2010)
Kick Ass – "This sure isn't X-men 5"
This is a movie that flips the comic book genre on its head. It's very refreshing to see something completely different in this genre after 50 Batmans, four X-mens, 3 Spidermans, 2 Hulks, and 2 Iron Mans. Kick Ass has a great story, plenty of excitement & action, and some killer comedy. I can totally see why some people would be offended by some of the content of this movie, but its all contextual and easy to shrug off with a point of view that it's all just a bit of fun.
On the Fruit-Meter Kick Ass gets the 'Pineapple' - A big and bold movie. Plenty of zesty flavours, and has a spiky outer skin that may hurt viewers with delicate skin.
Robin Hood (2010)
Robin Hood - "Straight Shootin"
It's hard to fault Robin Hood, it's a solid movie with an interesting & complex storyline, entertaining action (with some excellent archery), and impeccable acting by stars. Even the much criticised Crowes accent wasn't a problem; I found it to be just standard Crowe-neutral with a hint of English spin on it.
The only problem is that there is nothing that really wow's or surprises the viewer, there's is a feeling that we've seen all this before and that's where it falls short of the other Ridley Scott epics like Gladiator or Alien, these movies showed the viewer something original, exciting, and different. Compounding this issues, it seems as though all the characters seem to be split into two sides - good & evil, with no room for development, this makes their actions predictable for much of the movie.
On the Fruit-Meter, Robin Hood gets the 'Apple' – Solid & crisp all the way through, but you know what each bite will taste like, and as a result not so exciting.
The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day (2009)
The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day – "Bigger, Louder, Desperate"
This whole movie feels forced, it is as though one of 'the saints' put a gun to the creators head and demanded a sequel.
The only people who are going to watch this are those who liked the original (which was a great niche action movie 8/10 stars). BSII fails to love up to the original in every way; interesting & entertaining characters are replaced with cheap & annoying ones; old gimmicks are simply rehashed; the leads look old & tired; recurring characters look lost & bewildered; and where the original BS story was simple, tight, & original, BS2's plot is overcomplicated and contrived.
There are some thrills and spills to be had in BSII, but it is difficult to watch something fall so far short from the quality of the original.
On the Fruit-Meter, BSII gets the "SULTANA (or RAISEN)' – The original grape was fresh and juicy, the sequel has lost all the original zesty flavours and has too many wrinkles.
Van Diemen's Land (2009)
Van Diemen's Land - "Hungry for more"
This feels like a 'Tourism Tasmania' commercial with a touch of cannibalism, truly a great combination.
The movie is based on the true account of Alexander Pearce, Australia's most notorious convict, and the events that took place in 1822, as Pearce and a group of convicts escape into the Tasmanian wilderness. The group is then left at the mercy of nature, themselves, and notably the human desire to eat.
This is truly a beautiful movie, the cinematography of sweeping landscapes and rugged bushland is worth watching the rental/ticket price alone. It strikes me as the type of DVD they play in appliance stores to show off the new HD-TVs (although they would have to skip the numerous bludgeoning scenes).
The story itself is a simple and tight narrative of the human condition pushed to its limits. While there is some grizzly violence and confronting concepts, the movie never descends into gratuitous visuals based purely on shock value.
While the story is compelling and rolls along nicely, I found myself just wanting a little more depth to all of the supporting characters. This is also one of the main strengths of this film, it makes you want more; I was always wondering what was going to happen next, what's that guy going to do, where are they going, what's around that corner, what does that taste like etc
Ultimately this factor leaves the viewer a tad unsatisfied yet appreciative of the movie as a whole.
On the Fruit-Meter, Van Demons Lands gets the "KIWI-FRUIT" - A bit grizzled and rough on the outside, but once you peel off the skin it's fresh and tasty, but it was a small fruit and I want some more.
MART-FLIX PUN-FUN – It's compelling to watch convicts battle their inner "demons"
..that sucked
Public Enemies (2009)
PUBLIC ENEMIES - "Locked & loaded but misses the target"
If you loved the preview for Public Enemies, then you won't be disappointed, as it fundamentally a two and a half hour preview.
The movie is essentially a brief biopic of John Dillinger, famous outlaw of the depression era, and the cop who pursued him, Melvin Purvis. This is the information you go into the theatre with and that's about all you leave with. The movie stumbles from scene to scene, with no coherent connection between events and characters, I was constantly left wondering who people were and why something had just happened.
Despite the above criticism, Public Enemies is not a bad movie/preview and it ticks all the boxes needed to make a great movie/preview ; A-List actors – CHECK, Big Budget – CHECK, Accomplished Director – CHECK, Famous Historical Figure – CHECK, Love Story – CHECK, Big Action Scenes – CHECK, Batman & Willy Wonka II – CHECK
. The list goes on and it is an entertaining, if unsatisfying viewing experience.
So why wasn't this movie awesome, well if you know nothing about any of the characters it is unlikely you will care what happens to them. Amidst all the jail breaks, bank robberies, and strangely edited love scenes it seems as though there is no time for character development, a few quips from Depp and screams from Bale is about all you get to flesh out the characters. Was the audience supposed to automatically relate to the characters based on the actors resume? I would liken Dillinger to a combination of Don Juan & Donnie Brasco, where Purvis was basically a deep southern version of Batman minus cape & Batmobile. I'd love to mention other characters but they were to unmemorable, pretty boy something?
On the Fruit-Meter, Public Enemies get the "WATERMELON" - Big, Bold, and Flashy, goes down smooth, but once you've finished eating you realise there wasn't much substance to it.
MART-FLIX PUN-FUN - Tommy-guns and big action can't "bale" out movie which suffers from lack of "deppth"...terrible