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Reviews
Smile 2 (2024)
Better
It was a little better than the first one. I tell you me. Started off with a Bang. Then just died in mental hell with the Drew berrymore nonsense. God she's unwatchable. Then the Dance scenes were horrible. Just wasted movie time. Then the jump scares in this movie were top notch. I never jump and they made me jump like a 10 or old girl.
I thought it was way better than the first one. I gave that one a sweet 5. Had to give this one six cause it is better. I would've gave this one an 8. But I just cant forgive that whole Barrymore garbage and the dance garbage. But me and my Mio really enjoyed this flick better.
Storm Warning (2007)
Alright
Nothing to write home to mama about, but their was some decent revenge scenes. Just the writer just did a horrible job gettin us there. Just so much stupidity that it wasn't a funny stupidity. You know what I'm sayinz? I Don't know a broken bottle between the legs. Lmao. Dog would never do that to an alive Alpha Male. Everything was just stupid but the old man. The alpha male.
He was the best part of the movie. He was funnier than a drunk Gary Busey. But anyway you could've shown the leading lady naked a few times..That would've been appreciated. But I loved here out of the blue Rambo stuff lol. Oh my God. Anyway better luck next time.
Skull Forest (2012)
JUST AWFUL
The Kabinski brothers should never be involved in a movie again. This was just awful. The reason i gave it a two was only because of Lisa Kneeld's Rhodesian RidgeBacks. They were beautiful.
Back to the Kabinski clowns. They need a heroine and they pick the large out of shape girl with only a face a mother could love.
Lisa Kneeld is your star you imbeciles. My God she has the nicest chi chi coo la las and wouldve been a wayyy smarter pick for the heroine.
The action fights lmao. Come on just shake the camera lmfao. Fighting choreography was horrible beyond all recognition. The ending was stupid too. Next.
Civil War (2024)
Just Bad
Just so bad. Boring. No plot. No storyline. I dont know who is fighting who. Anybody in the press would be shot dead in a civil war.
Journalists are nothing but actors. This was just nonsense. I feel sorry for anyway who paid to watch this. You need to go get your money back as.soon as possible. Any rating above a 7 is the production company and friends, cause this is sooooo bad.
Any rating above a 4 is just ridiculous. My friend said to watch this cause he thought the trailer looked good. So i popped it on and that dude owes me big time. Now he doesnt have to sit through this garbage. Lord have mercy .
Abigail (2024)
Wasnt bad at all
This was not bad at all. Abigail was pretty damn excellent. The ending sucked but other that it was entertaining and funny as hell. Couple problems though. Like when she turned the blonde chick. They couldve easily busted out the wall in that room. You could see outside lol. But for what it was ot was alot of fun. I think im gonna get stoned and watch it again. I wouldve actually paid to see this movie if i ever had to pay to watch a movie again. The ballerina stuff was funny as hell. Anyone giving this movie a 1 is a complete fool. Was good to see old Gus acting again. Too bad he only had a small part. Hopefully there will be an Abigail 2.
Selling the OC (2022)
SO FAKE
This show is so fake. Mark Webb is on. They're acting like hes a Charger with money lmao. That dude could not buy that house if his life depended on it. The dude has zero money. Oh did i mention hes nit even a Charger lol. Ya rarely ever see these clowns sell a house. Just sooo bad. But its nit the worst one of this genre. Thats for sure. Plus Pollys kinda sexy in a biche way. But anyway i cant believe this got a season 2 let alone 3. But good for them man. Good for them. They deserve it. Oh the ocean scenes are nice to look at. Oh and the sand. The sand rocks and the occasional wave. Surf city here we come.
If She Screams (2021)
Omg awful
This was just God Awful. Seriously, did a five year old write this? It was just just horrible. Just when you think Hollywood cant make a worse movie then the last, some clown writer and director say hold my beer. Plus the casting people should be banned from Hollyweird. Nowhere in the cast is there a Heather or was there any reference to a Yoga Girl lmao. This whole movie was just so bad with zero direction. You spend the whole movie wondering what in the heck was the party in the beginning about. Then they finally answer that nonsense in the end, but it's just so stupid. Cracks me up fools gave this a 10. One clown said the marissa stole the show. I dont think so. They should have shown Audrey neal and Lily naked and i wouldve gave this a two.
Goodnight, Light (2023)
Wow
Just nauseatingly bad. Nobody can write in Hollywood anymore. Its just garbage scripts or just stolen garbage from movies of yesteryear. They dont even explain who Rachel is or why the heck she is even there. Lmao. That is one gigantic hole in this stupid movie. Then whats with all the large women. Seriously i know there's a slew of fit sexy women in Hollywood. They couldve at least showed Emma/Rachel knockers in the shower or something. I mightve gave this Bomb a two score. Then two of the girls start thinking Rachel is Emma but they never explain who the heck Rachel is to begin with. The writer of this movie should be banned from making movies for life.
Born to Ride (2011)
JESUS
I'm sitting in my family room looking for a flick. I see this. I am like William Forsythe, and the Star troopers dudes. Hot looking babe on the cover. How come i never heard of this especially since im a Biker. Then it started. Omg this was so bad. The Star troopers dont make good bikers. When they went to the first Biker bar lol. I swear all the friends and extras looked more like they'd be at home on a MOPED lmao. The whole whole plot was nonsense. The only good part of the movie was the Naked chick that one of the Star troopers nailed. She had no breasts but her rear look okay. I was hoping to see the hot biker chick on the cover of this movie. I feel sorry for Willie Forsythe. I really do.
I Am Rage (2023)
Sad
This movie could've been great. Nudity would've helped this immensely. This is my favorite type of movie. The UK always makes garbage movies though. Dont get me wrong USA makes plenty of garbage too, but I rarely like a UK flick. This had a
chance. I mean sexy main character. Her little buddy was hot. The fighting choreography was just horrendous. Soo Bad lol. They ruined the whole movie by the blonde hag being a better fighter than Erin. And lol what the hell happened to the hag. She's unbeatable and then what?? Her heart blows up lol. God just ruined it all. Whoever wrote this movie was a dolt! I gave a 2 because, I love revenge movies. But the director and the writer shouldn't quit their day jobs. Wow. I changed my mind. I watched it again stoned and it's so bad that's its good. I changed my rating to an 8. It pretty damn funny.
The Call (2013)
Omg Dumb
Lord have mercy on the souls that brought us here. Omg what a stupid movie. Dumb. I know Lapd is basically an incompetent department. But even they aren't that stupid. Seriously you have a burglary in progress in Hancock Park. A child victim inside. A unit could not make it there in time. Lmao to save her. Then they have a dispatcher who is in the wrong line of work. But she's one of their best. Lmao dumb. Then you have a car spot the vehicle and you don't tell her to stay back and observe. Dumb. Noone calls Highway Patrol. You only have one Unit trying to find a kidnapped victim lmao. The rest of the movie is even dumber. It was nice seeing Michael Imperioli get the real death he deserved on the Sopranos. You got Halle Berry. Would a shower scene hurt? Hollywood just sucks.
Reptile (2023)
BAD
God this was so bad. So boring... just nothing ever happens. It's just nothing . Like if you died right now you'd be nothing. This movie was like watching nothing. Chicago pd episodes are wayyy wayyy better. I didn't care who the killer was anymore. I just did not. That's never happened before. This was so boring and long I just didn't care anymore. I swear watch chicago pd. So much better. Like how big a dolt Joe Biden is. That Big. I hope nobody to pay to see this because that would be a travesty beyond all recognition. Did I mention this movie was really boring lol. Yea I think I did. Holy hell was I punished. Oh my God I just saw another guy say this was a Gravitas film. I didn't know. That's why it was so bad lmao. I must've missed that at the intro. Holy hell that's funny.
By Light of Desert Night (2019)
Woah
Man you always know when it's a Gravitas film. Lol omg me and my wife always laugh. Gravitas films are so bad. But this one was really bad that I was laughing at them not with them. But it was still cracking me up. Just this story was sooo stupid lol I just love that. Things were flying in from left field man. Okay lol you try to get on track of nothing. That is a special delight. The shooting of the girl was hilarious. You guys scored on that one. But I tell you me where I come from you gotta get really high too watch this movie. I kid you not. I recommend getting stoned and watching this movie. It's so much better.
Her Name Was Christa (2020)
Wild man
I'm watching this and it's just boring as hell with awful acting. I sped up a little had a bowl of some sweet indica. Then out of nowhere.
This show made a left fricken turn. And became sick as hell. Man whoever the writer is, is one sick mother. Man but I like that. That was hilarious man. This borefest became excellent and funny. Plus her Rhodesian Ridgeback were much nicer than I thought. That was a nice treat. I was already gonna give this movie a 1 but I realized the acting was golden. So I rocked this up to a 6. Just couldn't get past the beginning part. Any way this is must see. Funny as hell. Well maybe. I'm on some good weed.
LA Fire and Rescue (2023)
FAKE
I had to tap out watching this nonsense. I was hoping for a true depictment of fire fighting. But no it was scripted garbage.
They had the Los Angeles County Sheriff's department on the scene in a residential area. They were all pointing their weapons systems at the so called lady at her residence. The lady was supposedly holding a knife to her throat with family members present. Some of the Deputys were deploying less than lethal shotguns and tasers. They had about 10 Deputies and Supervisors there. Next thing you know they decide to let the old Bald Fire Captain and his Female trainee walk up and begin acting as negotiators LMFAO. Of course they talk her down quicker than dog snot. The episode was running out of time lmao. Of course the Sheriffs laugh and say something to the effect good job heroes and they laugh. SMFH. The Captain walks off like hes too cool for his suit. No Law Enforcement department in America would let that happen. Now LASO is a broke down department. I mean have you seen them try to puruse a fleeing vehicle lately. Its comical. If they allowed this. They are dopes.
Too fake for this viewer.
All American Bikini Car Wash (2015)
IT IS WHAT IS
Holy esta po picho. I can't believe I missed this back in 2015. Now don't get me wrong. This is a really really bad and stupid movie. BUT. BUT. Finally a Director and an excellent Caster found some really hot chicks. Hollywood has just been putting out garbage flicks with ugly women for years and years. Or there might be a couple decent chicks or just one hot chick. Every girl in this movie was good looking and had above average bodies. Even the girls who were meant to be the goofy women were hot as hell. I haven't see babes like this since the 60's 70's and 80's chick flicks. God Bless the Director and Casting team. You are a Saint.
The Mother (2023)
Garbage
Oh my God this was Garbage. Just pure and utter nonsense. Jayrod was not made for this part. She chubby and out of shape thinking she's bad. Reminds me of all those female Los Angeles County Sheriff Deputies all over the place.
This movie will not end. I'm trying to finish but wow. It's tough. This movie is Cliffhanger. If Cliffhanger had a mentally inept little brother.
What a stupid movie. Man I swear I thought this movie was over when she got her daughter back. But nooo this thing just keeps on going. Just horrible acting and just the same nonsense I've seen since the 70s.
I want my money back. Oh yea it was free.
Deadly Crush (2018)
Garbage
This movie was just complete garbage. I felt really Sad for Sadler. He is a great Actor, but he was even horrible with this script he was given. It sad when these guys like That idiot Deniro will take any role. Is andrenochrome that expensive. Must be. The only reason I gave this garbage a three was for Aria London's Nudity. She's a freaking babe. Remind if I die to come back and knock the bottom out of her. She also did a decent job with this horrible script. I would've gave this a one rating. So thank Aria London. She has the breasts of an Angel. I hope her other movies are just as a sexy. Next.
Deadly Weekend (2014)
DISGRACEFUL
How in Gods name do you have Sara Jane Underwood in this movie and you do not get her naked. Disgraceful. This was right before she let her self go to food. The director and writer are idiots. The movie was just written so poorly. I got to ask. Did Joe Biden and Hunter Biden write this movie?? Seriously that's how reee ttardd did it was. I gave this a 2 because the murdering children were the best part of this rotten clothing fest. I was hoping the daddy would give Sara Jane Underwood a Bath or a shower to give this clown show some sense of belonging. Would've been nice if
During the axe scene Sara was nude. You blew it . Now nobody wants to see her nude.
John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)
Horrible
HORRIBLE movie. I love John Wick. I mean I wouldn't pay to see one, but I love the series none the less. Even liked the third one even though the ending blew baby chunks. All the 10s and 9s scores are so damn fake it's hilarious. IMDB is a joke. Someone needs to start a real movie database and weed out the fake high scores, it's as ridiculous as John Wick 4. He walks away from every major injury or collision or building fall. Then he passes away from flesh wounds. What nonsense. The whole plot is nonsense. The fights scene are so boring. I got up to make a sandwich twice. Just the typical 100 judo throws and same shots to head. Numerous coup de grace's. I feel sorry for anyone who paid for this nonsense.
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)
Just BAD
Lord have mercy on the souls that brought us here. This was just awful. Any rating over a three is either fake or the person voted for Biden. ( that would make you an idiot ) Now to be honest I hate UK movies. I love the accents but I just think they make crappy movies. Now Hott Fuzz was excellent. Anyway let's get back to this review. Sorry edible is kicking in. Just the movie being so dark all the time made this just unwatchable. Nothing is worse than a movie where it's so dark. Turn up the brightness for God Sakes. My 12 year old son said its not even scary, cause you can't see anything. I imagine it's dark cause you would see how crappy the pig and Winnie look. Oh well lesson learned.
The Helpers (2012)
Had Potential
Man oh man alive this movie had potential. I was really enjoying it.
The dark haired chick who got split in half had a sweet body. A little more nudity of her and I would've raised the score.
Also why didn't they have the other chicks nude. Ones in a bathtub and not nude seriously?
Okay I was gonna give this movie a 7 or 8 but right when they pulled the goofy trick on the killers, knocked him out and didn't crush his head, oh man the rating just plummeted like Joe Biden at one of his rally. Then they believe their buddy in truck lol. God how sad. The writer should be shot at that point. Then the rest of the movie just sucked the big shaboykin.
Naked Vengeance (1985)
Spit on your Grave thieves
Man Hollywood was stealing movies back then too. I love revenge movies. I spit on your grave was incredible. This was just a ripoff of that but done poorly. For a second I thought they were gonna rip off Walking Tall and she was gonna run for Sheriff. I was hoping she was going to kill the Sheriff too. I gave this a four and that's generous. I know you're thinking, you gave it a five. Yes the extra point was for the sweet little breasts of the Star. The fighting scenes of her and the Men were stupid. If they would've wrote a better revenge sequence this could've been a great movie. Lucky for her the Sheriff doesn't like to work lmfao.
Bizarre Murders (2018)
Cringe
God I gave this a two rating. I would rate it higher, but that host is an annoying Moron. God he just a dork from the planet Ork. He's like needles on a chalkboard. Heh idiot why don't you teach future killers how to be better killers you condescending dolt. Why would you guys get an FBI agent for this. Ypu should have got a Homicide sheriff Detective or Homicide Police Detective. These Fbi crooks don't handle cases. They leach off the backs of real detectives cases. None of these cases were handled by the Federal Bureau of Idiots. I hope nobody committed suicide watching this clown. I know if I was suicidal, this dolt would've pushed me over the top.
Serpico (1973)
Way overrated
This was way overrated. I've read and know all about the Serpico story. I also did 30 years in Law Enforcement. I saw this movie pop up and I couldn't believe I've never watched it. I think it was just my Angel taking care of me all these years. This was horrible. Slow tedious. Like the director just kept throwing boring scenes in just to make a movie. It was just bad. The acting was awful. The first girlfriend wasn't too bad. The second girl friend was a horrible actress. Serpico was a hero. This movie made him look like Joe Biden sucking on a child's ear. I've seen better documentaries on the corruption in the NYPD. Just a worthless corrupt dept. I mean the cop guys they call honest, only stole a little bit lol. Unbelievable.