Reviews
Babylon 5: Divided Loyalties (1995)
Awkward
I wanted to like this episode, but could not bring myself to. So the premise is that there is someone on staff that has a covert psych personality embedded that can only be released when a password is beamed into their brain by a telepath. When this happens, the original personality of the person will be destroyed and overwritten with the embedded one.
Normally, I would think we would first research to see if the covert program could be destroyed, to protect the infected person. Instead, we just start beaming the password into the senior staff, then into unsuspecting souls all over the station, unconcerned that the actual person will essentially be killed and replaced when they finally succeed.
This then actually happens to an important character (Talia), and no one seems to care or mourn her even a little bit. Not even Ivanova, who allegedly had feelings for her. *I* felt worse for Talia than any of the staff did, and I was never even that fond of her character. It was a soulless resolution to the problem at hand.
I know the actress chose to leave for another show, but this was an awful sendoff.
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: Subspace Rhapsody (2023)
Amusing...
But that doesn't mean that I liked it. I found it entertaining as a non-canon fan-film (which SNW clearly is...).
The singing numbers were actually pretty good for the most part; I was surprised how well *some* of them could sing. While the story provided a weak rationale as to how and why they were compelled to sing, it did not explain how others knew and could harmonize with the lead singer's lyrics, or where accompanying music came from.
Less so did it explain choreographed dance moves, in various styles. This leads me to the scene that caused me to drop my rating from 4 to 2. That would be the ridiculous bit where we see Klingons singing and dancing to a hip-hop number. That was just a bit over the top for me.
I don't like ST being played just for laughs, which really seems to be an emphasis on this show. I am watching on a free 30-day free trial of Paramount+, which I do not plan to continue. That said, it looks like I am in for one more episode to complete the 2nd season, and I'm out. I hope it redeems itself in S3, but I won't be here to find out.
Live long and prosper.
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: Those Old Scientists (2023)
This show is not to be taken seriously
At least this episode confirms that this is a fully alternate universe Trek, and in no way could be shoehorned into what we call ST canon. Even so, it also demonstrates that this current iteration is not for seriously thinking adults. Even if I did like Lower Decks - which I don't - the insertion of the animated characters into live action Trek introduces a level of outright fantasy that sinks the dignity this show ought to have. It is more "Spock's Brain" than "The Trouble With Tribbles".
There is nothing timeless or futuristic about this show; it is tailored to the short-attention spanned consumers of this age. Contemporary lingo and slang will date this show more than the stiff acting or cheesy effects of TOS could ever do.
Il pianeta errante (1966)
Dull and overlong
First off, let me just say, I love Italian sci-fi. Planet of the Vampires is one of my favorite films, and I love The Green Slime. I could go on. This film started reasonably strong, yet very heavy on the technogibberish (like technobabble but more nonsensical). There was the obligatory romance with the "hero", and love triangle that those Italians seem to love so much. Yet that went terribly undeveloped - I wanted to see more about the Janet character but she was barely there.
The space walk scenes were some of the worst ever filmed. Their awfulness was somewhat distracting, especially towards the end of the film where people just seemed to hover and swing back and forth over this allegedly high gravity asteroid thing. They should have explored the notion of it being alive; that could have been much more interesting. I really started losing interest in the last 30 minutes.
Still, very glad I watched it. Next up are The War of the Planets and The Wild, Wild Planet, which apparently are sister movies of sorts to this one.
Panorama Ephemera (2004)
Pretentious and silly
Parts of random shorts cobbled together piecemeal for some sort of artistic purpose. I found myself more interested in them individually than whatever the director was trying to accomplish.
Doctor Who: Flux: Chapter Three - Once, Upon Time (2021)
Harsh
This season of DW has been so bad that I just couldn't bring myself to watch it past the 2nd ep. I let my DVR continue to record the season, knowing that maybe I'd be brave enough to resume at some point. Well, it took me until February 2022 to build up the nerve, and I dived in. What a confusing hodgepodge of utter and complete nonsense this was. It was so frustrating to watch. Terrible dialogue, atrocious special effects, and what appears to be a deliberately confusing plot line. I think I'll skip the rest of the season, and maybe watch the New Year's episode (What happened to Christmas episodes?). Just maybe I'll like it as a standalone episode.
Nice work, DW producers - you've managed to cause me to not care a whit about what happens to any of the characters. Kill 'em all? I don't care. Lose the current Doc in the Time Stream or whatever it is forever? Don't care. If you can replace JW with a new, passable Doc, just maybe I can dismiss her era much as I do Star Trek V as non-canonical nonsense. I'm not optimistic.
Edit 2/11/2022: OK, so after revisiting the subject with the missus, we came to an easy consensus to delete current and cancel future recordings of DW until further notice. Now I won't even be tempted to watch this currently abysmal series. Maybe I'll check back in a couple years.
Green Acres: Hawaiian Honeymoon (1971)
Dreadful, unfunny
My title pretty much sums it up. It's not really as much a Green Acres episode (as has been pointed out) as a failed pilot for a proposed new series. The new characters had zero chemistry or likability, and it was agonizing to watch. It was a terrible way to waste one of the last episodes of the show, completely dishonoring to the established cast.
Eureka: You Don't Know Jack (2009)
I hate clip shows
I really enjoyed Eureka while is was on, and its sister shows to a somewhat lesser extent (Alphas and Warehouse 13). I've been going through the show on Prime Video in order for the first time since it was initially televised. It's been fun, but I'm finding that I like it a *little* less than my first exposure.
This particular episode suffers from being heavy on flashbacks at the expense of good storytelling. What's worse is that the flashbacks aren't really that interesting, and they're shoehorned in with a very forced premise. Additionally, they don't represent the best of the show, they don't really give the viewer much of an insight into the characters, and they don't further the story at all in terms of relevance. One noteworthy thing happened in the episode, and I'll not mention it as it could be considered a spoiler.
Andover (2017)
Not to be taken seriously
I wanted to like this movie more than I actually did. It's quirky, and I liked that. However, I found that I had very little sympathy with the main character, as he had so very little awareness of anything but his own selfish desires. On a similar note, the movie itself had very little respect for life in general, giving it a rather cruel vibe. In the end, I would say the main character ended up with a lot better outcome than he deserved.
Poseidon Rex (2013)
Confused
Sure, the movie is terrible, but I'm even more confounded by the description:
"Forced to pay off his debt to the murderous Caribbean crime lord, Tariq, instead, the American scuba-diver and treasure hunter, Jackson Slate, wakes up from its deep hibernation a massive, T-Rex-like sauroid off the coast of Belize."
I dare anyone to diagram that sentence.
Space Force (2020)
Not quite there
I wanted to like it, but it ended up being more miss than hit. The premise grabbed me, and I liked the frequently subtle humor. I'm as conservative as anyone, yet was amused by many of the POTUS and FLOTUS gags. However, it straddled between what could be an entertaining show for the family and just not. Each episode is rife with F-bombs and other vulgarities that just make it cringe to watch in mixed company. I was glad by the time I finished the 10th and last episode, knowing I was finally done.
Like many or perhaps most shows in the COVID-19 era, this one may never resume production, and I won't miss it.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Take Me out to the Holosuite (1998)
Has the writer ever seen an episode of DS9?
I ask this for the simple observation of this: Julian is a genetically modified human with enhanced hand-eye coordination and intellect. He should be a ringer in this game, but they play him as an uncoordinated oaf. *He* should have been the pitcher, and that should have guaranteed a 9-ers win. Plus, he should have been impossible to strike out, but you see him swing clumsily at balls that should have been homers for him. Really, I was looking forward to seeing him surprise the Vulcans a bit. Disappointed in the lack of continuity there.
Other than that, it is a sort of enjoyable one-off episode that does nothing to establish characters or further the general plot of DS9. It was nice to see Benjamin learn to let go of his longstanding feud and just have fun with his crew, but that really didn't make any sense. Worf has some great one-liners that are probably the highlight(s) of the show.
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
Overrated
I grew up in the 70s and 80s. I never watched this film, just because from what I could see I thought it would be sappy and stupid. I had the opportunity recently, and watched it with my wife at her suggestion. I have softened over the years.
It was absolutely everything I had feared it would be. Dumb, sappy, incongruous, and inconsistent. Would someone please explain to the the rationale behind the bizarre physical and psychic link between E.T. and Elliot? And why Elliot wasn't taken to ER after his odd behavior in class? This is a terribly overrated film; I generously give it 5/10.
Martians Take Belfast! (2019)
Amazingly Bad
I blame my xfinity remote for my viewing of this. I told it "Free science fiction movies", and this came up, linking to my Amazon Prime account. Being just 11 minutes long, I thought I'd give it a try. Random clips from old sci-fi movies w/ early VG effects interspersed, accompanied by exceedingly silly narration and peculiar "dialogue" made for a complete waste of time. It must have been funny in someone's head prior to production, but that head was stoned. I think this may have been a prank, and I fell for it. That's the only explanation.
WKRP in Cincinnati: Daydreams (1981)
Not the best
This one was all right, but less funny than typical episodes. The vignettes were so-so, and definitely less amusing than regular story-driven ones. And I'm not certain if MeTV clipped it or what, but there was no Bailey segment. There was a cut to her, then a commercial, and then a cut to Johnny. I suspect I'm missing something. I hate cuts for syndication.
Frenzy (2018)
Why...?
No one expects good shark movies this time of year on syfy channel in prep for the latest Sharknado event, so no one should be disappointed. But yet I am. This movie was neither consistently laughably awful, nor at all good. Sharks are apparently foiled (at least for a time) by rubber and wood rafts, but take out the folks on a good-sized boat within just a minute or two.
The girls take out a couple of sharks in the most ridiculous ways possible (pulling a large rock onto one's head, setting one on fire with about a quart of gasoline, etc.), which do contribute to the entertainment value. However, the movie takes it self seemingly seriously whilst this is all going on. It's like they had the resources to actually make a halfway decent film, but they chose to just ride the fence of camp and legitimate film and chose not to commit to either.
The one thing that could have barely saved it would have been a shark jumping out and eating the last survivor as she was recording her video log of the recent events. She had it coming at least as much as the rest of the characters. Embarrassingly bad for all participants - I hope they continue to find work despite this very forgettable film.
The Flash: We Are the Flash (2018)
An Underwhelming End To A Tedious Season
So much awfulness in this past season's The Flash. To sum up, DeVoe (The Thinker) creates a busload of metahumans to acquire their powers to a nefarious end. Essentially every episode found our heroes trying to save these people, but failing miserably w/ considerable collateral damage of human lives. It was an exercise in masochism to watch this ad nauseam.
In the finale, we see Marlize join our team to help them defeat her husband in an unlikely change of heart. She has been complicit in The Thinker's plans from the beginning. She has opposed the team, even stabbing Iris at one point. With her help, villain defeated in a very unsatisfying non-climax. Then, it's practically hugs and kisses as she moves on despite the fact that her motives have been evil since day one. No accountability for her actions at all.
I was actually pleased that Ralph was spared in the end. He's not a particularly likable character, but I felt bad for him that Barry had failed to keep him safe (as he had the other metahumans as well). He still shows potential, in that some of his ideas over the course of the season were helpful and successful. Harry's recovery without his intellect was unexpected. I have no other opinion about that. A time-travelling daughter from the future? I already don't care.
The Flash: Therefore She Is (2018)
"Barry Allen is a Complete Idiot"
...and THAT could be the title of every episode this season. I swear, Barry and Team Flash are the biggest morons among superheroes of all time.
Spoiler (but not really) for any show this season: DeVoe tries to acquire another meta human. Team Flash thinks they can one-up him, they go in TIME AND TIME AGAIN without a contingency plan, and they fail. A few innocent people die in the process, and then Barry tells someone "I'll protect you," which is absolute assurance that said person will be killed in an episode or two. I wanted to like this show, but it is dreadful. Was a huge fan of the '90-91 series with John Wesley Ship, but I don't know how this show can be saved with such an inept protagonist.
It Came from Another World! (2007)
Disappointing
This was my third Mihm film, having watched "The Monster of Phantom Lake" and "Cave Women on Mars" and having enjoyed them both. The story was weak, slow, and uninteresting, not enough to pin 1.5 hours on. And I have to agree that Dr. Jackson's pauses in this outing go beyond humorous to downright annoying and too predictable. I would go as far as saying that he has a neurological condition regarding this. On the plus side, he could easily be runner up in an Anthony Edwards look-alike contest.
The Orville: Old Wounds (2017)
Probably won't make it out of first season
I went into this with low expectations, and it exceeded them somewhat. Knowing who Seth MacFarlane is, I anticipated it being much worse. I kind of like some of the characters (even MacFarlane's), and the premise is overall acceptable.
However, the very low-brow humor does not particularly work well with sci-fi, at least not in the vein of a Star Trek parody. The gag of watching a dog continuously lick himself, and having the characters remark on it will not sit well with genuine fans of sci-fi who appreciate well-written, clever humor. The humor itself falls very flat in general, and seems immediately dated in its delivery. Here we have characters hundreds of years in the future using garden-variety slang of the early 21st century. Punctuating essentially fart jokes with moments of semi-serious plot lines makes for an unsuccessful blend that fails as either comedy or sci-fi.
The sets and ship designs are unoriginal and plain. They all look like they came out of the ST:TNG School of Design, but with less thought put into them. Same with the aliens. The special effects look unfinished and video-gamey, but that doesn't really bother me.
There are some great actors who have done other sci-fi shows, and while it's great to see them, they seem oddly out of place in this particular series.
If the show can put more effort into thoughtful humor instead of making it a garden-variety Seth MacFarlane vulgarity-fest, I'll stick around. However, I'm not terribly optimistic; the second episode did not offer any indication of that.
The Time Tunnel (2006)
Not really all that good.
Fun, but not particularly good. Even so, I would have enjoyed a few more episodes to see if it would pan out at all. A big nit is this: They allegedly needed Doug Phillips for his expertise of a WWII battle. Problem is, he remembers it not as it was supposed to happen, so how much of an asset is he? He doesn't know how it's supposed to go. And given that, he should have been aware of the effect of the plague, since he is part of the altered timeline. Not quite sure why he still has a wife and two kids, but perhaps that would have been explained later.
Best part was the laughs I got from the Hogan's Heroes references.
Sette uomini d'oro nello spazio (1979)
Incomprehensible nonsense
First, let me say: I love bad movies. It's my thing. There will never be enough time to watch all that have been made. In my quest to knock out as many as I reasonably can while alive, I run across a few that don't even make the cut. This is one of those movies.
I *think* that it is trying to be funny in parts, but those are the scenes that fail; the most egregious among these involve conversations about robot love. Horrible. Clearly edited with a chainsaw, sometimes characters are in two places at once, pursuing different ends. It spent a terribly long time assembling the team to defeat the aliens. Once I made it that far, I thought the movie would pick up. Sadly mistaken - I wish I had aborted the mission before that. At the end, the main woman's boyfriend dies. Let's just say she gets over it quickly.
Also note the Big Twist worthy of M. Night Shyamalan with key characters switching allegiances. I'm not being facetious; that guy has lost it. If only I cared. Sadly, no one will watch this movie, and hence no one will read my review. At least I got it out of my system.
The Tick (2016)
Well, at least it's a return of The Tick
I was very much looking forward to this, but rather disappointed of it being limited exposure on amazon. I have only a basic account, so will end up paying for future episodes if any. While not perfect, it shows promise. I did like the delivery of lines by Peter Serafinowicz as the title character, but he lacks the threatening presence of Patrick Warburton. I was OK with the Arthur backstory, but don't think it really added anything. Griffin Newman very nearly nailed Arthur, I think.
I did not like The Tick's costume. It looked cheap and cheesy. Was this intentional or were there budget constraints? Significant muscle padding may have been an improvement, since Serafinowicz's frame is not particularly imposing as I note previously. Another criticism I had was that the show is not over-the-top enough. It's like an awkward merging of life as we know it with the absurd, and they just don't "fit". I cannot imagine the plethora of ridiculous Tick characters in this universe, and I would miss that. I don't expect Chairface Chippendale or even The Human Ton & Handy to make appearances due to the apparent effort to make this series more "realistic."
That said, I think the program has considerable potential. I laughed many times, and that's what counts when you're watching a show called The Tick. If there were more episodes available at time of this review, I would have watched them. Perhaps they'll find their balance between playing it straight and embracing ludicrous.
Reclaim (2014)
Entertaining, but don't expect much
Reviewers who criticize the intelligence and common sense of our main characters are spot on. From the very beginning, there is a bad vibe from the woman who is arranging the adoption. The couple ignores that. Then John Cusack's character gives an on off the charts creepy disingenuousness that screams something is wrong from his very first appearance. He keeps showing up everywhere, and yet they still don't suspect anything.
The middle of the movie keeps the viewer on edge, just waiting for worse things to happen and they do. Then a series of very cliché events happen. I'm always tempted to highlight them all, but I know others have already done that dirty work for me. The biggest theme is that our protagonists choose not to fully incapacitate their captors, and it comes back to bite them repeatedly. I was also disappointed in the ambiguity of the ending. Still, it wasn't a complete waste of time. It was nice but also disconcerting to see John Cusack as a villain, and he generally pulls it off.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Argh.
This was a very frustrating movie. I had been looking forward to it, although was initially skeptical after hearing of Ben Affleck as Batman. Seeing the critics views at RottenTomatoes was very discouraging, but for some reason, IMDb showed favorable reviews by audiences. This gave me some hope.
That hope was in vain. This movie was all over the place. I'm quite familiar with the DC Universe, having been an on/off comics collector since the 70's. Even so, I found myself unable to keep up with the visions, dream sequences, time-travel visits(?), and just overall plot convolutions in this movie. Some IMDb reviewers have already done an excellent job highlighting the film's foibles, and I doubt I could do better. However, I gotta say something.
The casting of Jessie Eisenberg as Lex Luthor was horrible, to the extent that Affleck as Batman warmed my heart in comparison (and I didn't much care for that). Luthor as crazy, essentially a retread of what we've seen as Heath Ledger as Joker, would have alone ruined the movie if that were the only bad thing about it. LL is a brilliant, evil, power hungry genius, not... whatever he was supposed to be here.
I cannot get into Batman's motivation. He's a ruthless violent vigilante who's above the law, and he despises Superman for being... above the law. I get the initial distrust thing, but I didn't buy into the whole picture of just wanting to be judge, jury, and executioner without even interacting with Supes first. Not cool, Bats.
Lex lets himself into the Kryptonian vessel, with the shaved fingertips of Zod? Kryptonian tech has *terrible* security; maybe they should give Apple a call - no, wait; the FBI hacked that. And then the computer recognizes the carcass of Zod, and doesn't go, "Hey, who are you? I thought *you* were Zod!" - and then kill him.
I know I was supposed to laugh or cheer when Batman tells Ma Kent, "I'm a friend of your son's," but for me it was flat. 10 minutes ago, he wanted to kill him.
On the way home, my wife and I were discussing the movie, with these observations and more. She asked me, "Was there anything about the movie you liked?" I thought real hard, and said, "um... no. Sorry to have suggested it and make you watch it." And thus justifies my 1-Star review. I guess I kind of liked how Superman comported himself with dignity, and was reasonably well-acted by Cavill. But not enough to change my score.
Hey, wasn't there also something about Wonder Woman in the movie? That quickly faded from memory.