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jesse_beach
Reviews
Bad Moon (1996)
NOTHING GREAT...
I saw this film from the TV some time ago. I didnt wait anything but the film was pretty entertaining. The plot wasnt great (Man chancing in to a Werewolf... Have seen this before...??!!) but the movie had couple of really spooky scenes. Spooky enough to make me keep on watching anyway.
But "Bad Moon" still is nothing else but a normal horror film with little creeps. When I turned out the TV I had already forgotten what the movie was about! There just arent anything... that would amaze you or... something that would make it "unforgettable". Everything feels familiar and already seen. Nothing else but entertainment for rainy Saturday evenings. 4/10
Species II (1998)
OH BOY!! THIS WAS SO... SO... SO...
I really would like to know why they make crappy sequels to crappy original scifi films? "Species" was almost tolerable but goddam this sequel sucked big time. The story is absolutely ridiculous and the dialogue was so bad that it made me laugh my ass off!! Acting was... well Michael Madsen was OK... but those terrible lines he had!! GOD!! What did they pay for him to act in this piece of crap?!! Henstrigde was looking good but she really is not that much of an actor is she? "Species 2" is a bad film. It´s almost so bad that you can enjoy it. The terribly cliche ending made me laugh so loud that I broke my jaw. 2/10
The Mummy (1999)
GREAT ENTERTAINMENT!!
This was one of the "low-brain-but-so-damn-entertaining"- type of films. "The Mummy" was an action packed adventure flick with great humor and nice special effects (The Mummy itself could have been better though). I enjoyed every moment with this one. There was no boring parts and Brendan Fraser makes a great performance as the Indiana Jones wannabe (HEH! JOKE!!). Lot of big time effects nice action, very funny jokes and nice GROOVE!!
7/10
Memento (2000)
Simply one of the greatest movies ever made!!
Well... What can I say about this film... It simply was absolutely wonderful. Plot was brilliant, smart, thrilling, touching and simply... AMAZING!!! Go and see this film. Kill someone if you have to but go and see it!!!! Well, lets be serious. This film rocked, rolled and jammed big time!!!
Story filled with humor and thrilling turns is something that you simply cant miss. 10/10
Reindeer Games (2000)
Talking about bad endings...
Well let see... This film had a nice story... for a start. Ben Afflek was good... for a start. Gary Sinise was convincing... for a start. Charlize Theron was good looking... for a... Hey that doesent work!! She was good looking the whole way!! Anyway this was a disappointing film. If you really want to see something good from Frankenheimer you should check "Ronin". It isnt great but much much better than this one. Well now comes the most terrible thing in this one. It´s DA thing that can make any movie bad. A BAD ENDING!! OH YES BABY!! "Reindeer Games" had absolutely DUM ending. Last 20 minutes are like: "OH DEAR... That´s really bad... REALLY BAD!!" "Reindeer Games" might be nice entertainment for some rainy Sunday afternoon but nothing else. The story works nicely the first 30 minutes but then starts the downhill... 4/10
Stargate (1994)
JUST OK
"Stargate" started pretty nicely. The plot seemed fine and the actors were pretty good (I really havent ever liked Russel though). First 40 minutes were nice entertainment but the movies lets you down in the end. The story just isnt interesting when the real "kick butt"- scenes start.
This is one way to spend couple of hours but you will hardly want to see it again. ONLY OK. 5/10
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)
Nice, but something is missing...
When "Final Fantasy" was released, I heard two kind of critics about it. Some people said that it was a big piece of crap and others said it was a great "new kind of" scifi- movie. I bought this movie some time ago and I wasnt disappointed after watching it. Movie looked great. Computer animation is smooth and stylish from start to the end. But still there was something that I wanted more... something was missing. The story in "Final Fantasy" was just too shallow and that´s the problem with the characters also. In the relationships between headcharacters are too many cliches and that bothered me during whole movie. Still "Final Fantasy" was a good movie. With it problems it managed to bring something new for us. Maybe some of these days they will find a great script and make a breathtaking computer- film that also has a good story...
I hope so... 6/10
Mission to Mars (2000)
COME ON DE PALMA!! WHAT`S WRONG WITH YOU MAN?!!!!
"Mission to Mars" was a movie that I waited for some time and then I bought it right a way it came to stores. Well it sure was one of the biggest let downs in last three years!! This movie simply wasnt good enough. It was so serious and even the special effects didnt make this worth looking again. Gary Sinise was farely good but other members of the crew was like half a sleep the whole time. 3/10
Spaceballs (1987)
WAS THIS FUNNY??
I liked Mel Brooks´s "High Anxiety". That really was a funny piece of film... I thought that Brooks was a guy that can make great parodies without stupid and predictable jokes!! Well sometime ago I saw "Spaceballs" and it made me change my mind. This movie just wasnt funny!! If your making a comedy it should be funny and that´s something "Spaceballs" simply wasnt. Jokes were so predictable and... dum... and totally not funny. Well OK there was like three pretty good jokes, one or two OK ones and the rest... well... you know what I was going to say... "Spaceballs" was a huge let down for me. This might be nice for pupertetic kids that like jokes that are changed directly from movies lines. Like example joke like: "May the Schwartz be with you!" What´s so f***** funny in that????!!!! 3/10
M.D.C. - Maschera di cera (1997)
There was creepy parts too...
"Wax Mask" was OK horror film and some parts of it was pretty creepy. But unfortunately there was lot of scenes that made me giggle. There was lot of parts that was meant to be scary but they ended up just funny. In the good parts the feeling was thrilling though and the plot was actually pretty good and nicely written, still there was some major problems with it. Especially the characters was so... dum... and cliche. Special effects was... hmm... OK, I think, because I have seen worse. But still "Wax Mask" was not a bad movie. It had it great moments... but the there just was too many of not so great moments too.
Firestorm (1998)
Just OK
"Firestorm" was avarage action thriller. The fire-effects were pretty nice but in some parts they looked pretty "old". Action was nice but there really wasn´t much brains in it. William Forsythe made the best performance of he actors but none of them really convinced me.
"Firestorms" plot seemed to be a mix from "Cliffhanger" and Ron Howards "Backdraft". It´s just to bad that "Firestorm" doesen´t manage to be anything like either of this good films. Don´t gett me wrong, "Firestorm" was an OK film in some ways. But in those other ways it wasn´t that great. 5/10
Dao (1995)
Tsui Hark is almost as good as John Woo
"Dao" was a great entertainment from the first minute to the end credits. Xin Xin Xiong is amazing and the action scenes with swords are something you do not forget. Tsui Hark is a great director and action seemed to be his "thing". The best action scenes are almost as good as in John Woos best films. "Dao" was a good movie, even though the story gets maybe a little bit too boring in the middle of the film. Don´t worry there´s some amazing action coming right after the boring part!! 7/10
Event Horizon (1997)
Little bit underrated piece of scifi
"Event Horizon" was fairly good scifi/horror movie. Acting was good effects OK and the plot pretty nice, eventhough there was some holes in it.
"Event Horizon" was filled with nicely thrilling sequencys and the story allmost managed to avoid cliches, but in the last 20 minutes there pretty much of them. Some of the characters fellt also little bit like cliches. This was entertainment and surely underrated scifi film. 6/10
Godzilla (1998)
Not that great
I wasn´t too curious to see this film. I had this little feeling that it isn´t gonna be anything amazing. Well, again I was wright! "Godzilla" was entertaining, special effects were nice and the actors managed pretty nicely (No doubt, Jean Reno was best of them).
But still there was too much missing. "Godzilla" was somehow so... shallow experience. There was no spirit in it... or something. It´s just entertainment and nothing else. 5/10
Kiss of the Dragon (2001)
Jet Li back in action!
I didn´t expect "Kiss of the dragon" to be anything new or unusual. Well I was absolutely wright about this. "KOD" was another entertaining action flick. This time there is no "computer kung fu" like in "Romeo must die" but the "normal" Jackie Chan style kicking is also nicely made.
Jet Li is again very convinsing and Bridget Fonda makes a nice performance also (and she´s good looking). "KOD" was normal kung fu- action movie. Lot of great fight scenes and some nice acting too. Karyo was very good. 6/10
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)
Nice, nice, nice and even nicer
Well, everybody knows that Angelina Jolie is one sexy lady. She´s that kindow woman that can make allmost any film worth seeing. "Tomb Raider" is a nice movie eventhough it´s plot is pretty poor. Jolie is the BEST actress to play Lara Croft... krhm... I mean, not only because of her... krhm... big... well... because she´s pretty. She´s a good actress also... you know in acting... you know what I mean!!! "Tomb Raider" is little bit same as "Charlies Angels". Good looking babe kicking bad guys but. Nice and entertaining film but something happens in the last 20 minutes. The story starts to lose it´s feeling and the part where Lara talks with her father is SO cliche. "Tomb Raider" is entertainment from start to finnish. 6/10
Trucks (1997)
SO BAD THAT IT`S ALMOST GOOD!!!
First of all I must ask one thing: Can Stephen King really write something this bad? I mean the story is so AMAZINGLY STUPID!! Well... okay maybe this is a "tung in the cheek"- horror film but it still sucks big time!! From time to time movie starts to be so bad that it´s almost... hmm... something you can watch without breaking you VCR´s remotecontrol and hang yourself because you spent 3$ for renting this piece of crap. Just believe me and avoid this film anyway you can!!
End of Days (1999)
Entertaining but dum action flick
"End of days" wasn´t a smart film. Plot that goes: "Hey it aint 666 it´s 999!! Wou, and when you put number uno infront of it? WOULAAA!! It´s 1999!! Dum? Yes, but entertaining. Action scenes are absolutely great! Arnie hasn´t lost his touch... yet. There aint that much oneliners if I remember correctly but "End of days" still is a typical Arnie- film. Nice explotions and Arnie kicking Satans but big time!!! Nice way to spend few hours...
Supernova (2000)
IT SUCKED BIG TIME!!!!!!!
OK! The acting sucked! The plot sucked! Effects was average, and there is no script! It makes no sense. The only good thing is Robin Tunney and her t*ts.
Ok folks, do every one a favor and do NOT see this terrible piece of trash!
Anyway, this isn't even funny, it's disgusting. Lou diamond Whatever sucks more than any actor on the planet, or any other planet either. So please, watch "Battlefield earth" instead. It FUNNY!! HEH!!
Exit Wounds (2001)
Seagal is always Seagal
I thought that "Exit wounds" will be something new. Andrezj Bartkowiak directed "Romeo must die" very nicely and the gravity breaking action scenes were great. Well action scenes were good in "Exit wounds" too but not as good as in "Romeo must die". Plot was pretty much same kindow action stuff that you see in Seagal movies. There ain´t much brains in it but it´s nicely entertaining.
Double Team (1997)
NO BRAINS! BUT LOTS OF FUN!!!
This is another action movie with no brains. But the fighting scenes are absolutely great and Van Damme really can kick. If you don´t like no brain- solid action with Van Damme skip this one but for others this is a way to spend an evening!
Kickboxer (1989)
A normal Martial arts movie
Kickboxers plot is same as in every other Martial arts- movie that you´ve seen. But the fight scenes are great and absolutely entertaining. Van Damme can kick pretty nicely but he aint much of an actor. Kickboxer is better than avarage but not a movie that you want to watch ten times.