Reviews
The In-laws (2002)
Wonderful cast HORRIBLE SHOW!
I knew this was headed for disaster after looking at the clock within 7 minutes of air time. The story line: Two people get married. They move into the wife's parents home. And husband doesn't get along with father-in-law-and if you haven't seen this plot before you probably have not watched TV for the last 15 years or so.
Physical Evidence (1989)
Poor Burt in another dud
I got a kick out of Reynolds saying to his attorney, "look,I've done a lot of shi%ty thing in my life, but I never killed anyone." Obviously he forgot about his career which slid down hill after he started making stupid movies like 'Cannonball Run.' Physical Evidence was originally supposed to be a sequel to 'The Jagged Edge' that Glen Close sanely rejected. The verdict is in, avoid Physical Evidence.
Scary Movie 2 (2001)
I knew within 10 minutes this movie was doomed.
What a pile of garbage! Since the original grossed over $200 million worldwide it was no doubt there would be a sequel. But this is nothing but a money grubbing and lame attempt at comedy. Trust me folks. You would rather get a drill without novacane at the dentist office than waste 82 minutes of your life on this horrific movie.
3000 Miles to Graceland (2001)
This movie is a total HOUND DOG
POSSIBLE SPOILER>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Whats up Mr. Costner? Behind on your alimony payments? It's the only reason I could come up with after seeing an academy award winning director in such a shi*** movie. The "story" involves 5 Elvis inpersonators who rob a casino, kill virtually everybody, and then turn on each other. And if you haven't seen this plot before, you have not been to the movies in the last 10 years or so. And the dumbest part of all? The ending credits feature out-takes and bloopers. The big blooper was the movie itself.
The Good Son (1993)
A good case for birth control
One of the movies featured in Roger Eberts book 'I Hate This Movie'! was 'The Good Son'. Well, I hated it too. An in-effective thriller with demented little Culkin on the rampage to kill off his family. One of the major flaws is no real explanation is given as to why he wants to be so bad. It was easy to see why Culkin would never move on to anything big after the brief 'Home Alone' fame. Oh well.......thats show biz!
Day of the Woman (1978)
What the hell is this?
Day Of The Woman has to be the most pathetic movie I have ever seen. Never have I seen a more pointless film in all my time. The story involves 4 perverted men who rape and torture a woman (shown in the most disgusting and gruesome way for over 45 minutes) then leave her for dead. She lives and seeks revenge killing each one in ways you might find unimaginable. AND THATS IT! Avoid this like cancer.
Jekyll and Hyde... Together Again (1982)
I laughed until I almost fell out of my chair
What a surprise. A basic copycat of the comedy classic 'The Nutty Professor' only naughtier. Funny guy Tim Thomerson (who steals the show as Blinkin in Robin Hood-Men In Tights) is downright hilarious as the anal retentive Dr. Jekyll and the sex crazed Hyde.
The one scene that is really funny is when Dr. Lanyon (Mark Blankfield) catches Jekyll in bed with his daughter and says:
"how dare you take advantage of my innocent daughter."
Jekyll replies, "but sir, I'm going ahead with the operation."
Lanyon replies back, "oh. Well in that case fu** your brains out!!!"
Death Wish II (1982)
Bronson is back looking DUMBER THAN EVER
This had to be one of the worst pieces of sh** I have ever seen. Why nobody has realized that Charles B is one of the worst actors around is beyond me. The movie (if you want to call it that) has no meaning, no interesting characters, and one of the most brutal and disgusting rape scenes ever shown on film. If you see it, be sure to bring a barf bag.
American Pie (1999)
The typical "copycat" of Animal House
My God, haven't we seen this done 100 times before? After the HUGE success of Animal House (which is still brilliantly funny) Hollywood set out to recap on the success. So a few short years later, came the so-so 'Porky's (followed by terrible sequels) and now American Pie. When the opening scene had a kid orgasm into a beer-only to have his friend drink it I knew this movie was going no where fast. I suggest to avoid this and rent the 1980 adult classic "American Pie."
Death Be Not Proud (1975)
Robbie Benson gives the performance of a lifetime
SPOILER>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Back in 1975, I was 9 years old and my parents thought this movie would be to emotional and wouldn't let me see it. So I saw it as an adult and still cried. The incredible attitude that Benson's character has despite having terminal brain cancer is a true example of what every human being should act like. At the end, Robbie still graduates from College and if that scene doesn't leave you teary eyed nothing will. Great movie!
Breaking In (1989)
Good news for those who can't sleep
Many critics hailed this as Burt Reynold's comeback, but audiences (including myself) didn't. While the first 12 minutes were ok, the story drags on and on. In particular, the previews make you believe its a comedy. So how hard does the writer of this movie try in making us laugh? When are character Mike (Casey Siemaszko)is in bed with a hooker she recites a poem she wrote directed toward his balls! (HA HA) Bad humor and bad writing.
Action Jackson (1988)
The "brilliant" title says it all
After seeing Carl Weathers in only the Rocky movies it seemed he had nothing else better to do. Action Jackson proves that point. A mixture of Lethal Weapon, Airplane, and Beverly Hills Cop-all done BADLY! The previews showed a fairly impressive car chase scene-but you take that scene out of the movie and you don't have a movie. Even hot stuff Vanity's naked body couldn't save this.
Taboo (1980)
One of the best **** out of 4
Kay Parker has to be the most incredible woman to look at. While the story of incest may make some viewers uncomfortable, the love/sex scenes are done to exception. And the eye-popping Kay Parker even looks good with her clothes on. (And of course off too)
The Villain (1979)
Horribly unfunny!
Oh my God. Lord knows I've seen some bad movies in my time and this one makes me just as angry. Trying to make a live version of the Roadrunner cartoon into a western with real people is one of the dumbest ideas Hollywood ever thought of. Even the late great Paul Lynde couldn't save this.
SexWorld (1978)
Very well done!
One of the best adult films ever made. Some of the fun was taken out when I first saw the edited version on cable. (No offense, but I usually don't like my filth that clean) I rented the 'X' version and now see why many hail it as a classic adult film. A nice spoof of Westworld along with an exceptional story and acting. Out does 'Deep Throat'.
In the Company of Men (1997)
Brilliant all the way around
*****************Possible spoiler******************
Intense and sometimes shocking movie about two ignorant men who decide to rage their own private war on women. The sense of 'justice' our main characters employ taught me that two wrongs don't make a right. Be warned; the ending may leave a knot in your stomach, but a lesson on the way not to treat people who have done you no wrong. Brilliant film making.
Cocoon: The Return (1988)
We missed you Ron Howard
*********WARNING POSSIBLE SPOILERS***************
At the end of the original 'Cocoon' the old folks left for everlasting life, true peace and security. So why return? Because sequels are a big business of course. A waste of time, talent and money. Perhaps it could have survived with a talented director, (hint: Ron Howard). Ranks with one of the worst sequels ever made.
Takin' It Off (1985)
Our star Kitten is one nice pussy
The first 'naughty' movie I ever saw. The plot? There is none. But if you want to see a possible Dolly Parton look-a-like this movie is for you. Lots of T & A (and I don't mean talking & acting) and the acting is so bad it's laughable. Oh well, at least Sylvester Stallone wasn't in this one. (Hint - The Party at Kitty & Studs 1970)
Maniac (1980)
Ranks with 'I Spit On Your Grave'
How does garbage like this get made? While violence is real, this is just a series of brutal and dumb killings. I would hate to see someone get suckered into paying money to rent a movie that delights in showing graphic detail of innocent women being slaughtered. So why did I rent it? Blockbuster had a rent one get one free coupon. Guess which one was free.
The 6th Day (2000)
This was PG-13????????
You'll have to wonder about the rating systems these days. The 6th Day, (besides being a failed action movie) contains heavy profanity, nudity, strong violence (including a scene where a guy gets his leg shot off) but somehow got a PG-13 rating. Doesn't make sense. Either does this silly movie.
End of Days (1999)
This may mark the end of Arnold's career
Remember the comedy classic 'Airplane' that was a spoof on all the airport disaster movies? 'End Of Days' is like a spoof of the 'Exorcist'. So dumb and unbelievable my mind began wandering within 20 minutes.
Moreover,Arnie's character is so unlikable that I was starting to root for Satan. When the movie ended, most of the audience (including myself) left disappointed. My pick for the worst movie of 1999.
The Other Sister (1999)
Somebody give this movie a breath mint
With such a talented cast how could you go wrong? Well trust me, they did. This film gave me the feeling I would have if my Grandmother slipped me the tongue. While the sometimes talented director Gary Marshall tries to make us 'feel good' about the story of two mentally handicapped people trying to find true love, the result is BORING. The screen writer must have been mentally challenged themselves.
Running on Empty (1988)
This movie is running on a full tank of gas
One of the best movies of 1988. A fine film that deserved far better fare at the box office. A true lesson of what can happen when we take the laws of the land to far. Superbly acted and written. One question? Where was Oscar (the Academy Awards) looking? Thats one I will never understand.
A Shot in the Dark (1964)
Brilliant comedy at its best!
Simply one of the funniest movies ever made and the best of the Pink Panther series. One of the minor flaws of the other Panther films is the usual so-so plot. Not only is the script brilliant, most of the comedy is slapstick and every scene works to absolute hilarity. >
Hearts in Atlantis (2001)
Atlantis with a heart
WARNING>>>>>>>>>>>>SPOILER
Bestselling books by renowned writer Stephen King often make bad movies. This however, is one of those rare exceptions. Hopkins plays an ordinary guy with perhaps a dark past. What he really has is a special gift that bad people want to get there hands on. A simple story that works wonderfully. Even the sad ending makes you leave with a satisfied feeling of how precious friendship is.