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Reviews
Star Trek: How Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth (1974)
Kuklukan, Kukulkan, Mugato, Mugutu
Why didn't anyone tell William Shatner that he constantly mispronounced "Kukulkan" as "Kuklukan"? Every single time! You really have to wonder if the Animated Series was a one-man production show and there were no people who listened to what was recorded. Ridiculous.
In addition, this episode is basically the same story as "Who Mourns for Adonais" - once again an extraterrestrial being that once caused mischief on Earth and was worshipped there as a god.
And the fact that a new, never-before-seen ensign with indigenous Comanche roots suddenly appears on the bridge fits perfectly with the story. After all, he is the only one who recognizes the being as a Mayan god - and that despite the fact that Spock otherwise knows every tiny detail of the entire history of the Earth, from Brahms's handwriting to Shakespeare's complete works, which he can also recite perfectly. But he has apparently never heard of Kukulkan.
Star Trek (1973)
At that time, even cartoons from Soviet countries were better animated
The Animated Series is below average even for 1970s standards. It is loveless and poorly drawn, mostly still images with only the mouth and eyes animated. Images are also reused in all episodes, for example when Kirk is shown from behind in his chair with his hand on his chin. The film music consists of constantly repeating pieces that can be heard in every episode. They even skimped on the dubbing: Not only are the lines of Kirk, Scotty, Sulu and Uhura's recited in a bored manner, their voices are also constantly used for other characters. I.e., Chapel also voices the computer and several other female characters.
The stories are also more for children than science fiction stories for adults. Because the animated series doesn't need expensive sets and costumes, it could have told really interesting and different stories that would have been too expensive and complicated for TOS. But instead, most of the episodes are just ridiculous and silly. The only good thing about these episodes is that you don't see Kirk all the time flirting with beautiful women. Otherwise, you can safely ignore this series unless you want to have seen all of the Star Trek series at least once.
The Tomorrow War (2021)
The protagonist does not understand the concept of different timelines
While the first half of the film is still somewhat exciting and worth watching, the second half of the film loses itself in typical Hollywood nonsense.
But the premise of the film already has weaknesses and plot holes that are best not to think about as a viewer, because otherwise you might give up after 20 minutes. If in the future an overpowering enemy threatened to wipe out humanity and a war raged in that future, the last idea of governments and heads of state around the world would probably be to send their citizens into that war in the future and thus weaken their societies and economies in the here and now. And you certainly wouldn't send the average Joe into a hopeless battle without the appropriate training - unless you're the President of Russia. The most likely scenario in such a case would be to get as much information as possible from the future and then use the next few decades to build powerful armies in order to be ready for the start of this invasion.
When our protagonist meets his daughter in the future and desperately tries to save her in this future, I wanted to shake him and give him a slap. Has this guy never seen "Back to the Future" and has no idea about different timelines? If he changes the past and humanity is already prepared to fight these alien beasts, the future in which his daughter fights this hopeless war will probably never happen - at least not in this form. It probably didn't occur to him that he would save his daughter by changing the past or his own future instead of his daughter's already written future in the other timeline.
The second half of the film is, as I said, typical Hollywood hero rubbish. A handful of people fly into Russian territory in a transport plane and are able to land in the snowy wasteland without being shot down by any interceptors! And then they're in the middle of nowhere, snow everywhere you look, driving around with just a few snow speeders without any equipment, hoping to find the location of the alien spaceship by chance. Such an expedition would have taken months and required appropriate equipment for these environmental conditions. But our ragtag crew manages it all in a few hours and finds the spaceship by chance. They also seem to manage to plant a lot of explosives in a few minutes to uncover the spaceship. Where all the snow that was piled up on top of it has gone remains a mystery. And then they try to kill the alien monsters one by one with a toxin, instead of blowing up the entire spaceship or burning it out completely with napalm.
And then the final battle with the brood mother. The thing is five times the size of a human. Before that, we saw the smaller males knocking over Humvees or causing helicopters to crash. The beast has lots of arms and tentacles and sharp teeth. But our protagonist and his dad fight this monster in direct hand-to-hand combat and in the end barely have a scratch, let alone a flesh wound or broken arms or legs. Imagine fighting a grizzly that is twice the size of a real grizzly and coming out of such a fight unscathed. Ridiculous.
Star Trek: The Way to Eden (1969)
The way to the garbage dump
I'm not sure if this episode is the worst Star Trek episode of all time, even overshadowing the almost unbearable DIS episodes of the third, fourth and fifth seasons. It's always said that "Spock's Brain" is the worst of all TOS episodes, but compared to "The Way to Eden", "Spock's Brain" is a masterpiece in a class of its own that would have deserved five Emmy awards.
"The Way to Eden" fails on all fronts. Nothing fits together. Brainless hippie in space story, ridiculous costumes, oversized glued-on ears made of papier-mâché that a preschooler couldn't have made worse, annoying actors, even more annoying songs that are not only broadcast ship-wide but where half the crew is present, fake Russian accents, laughable sets with even more laughable painted fruit and a massive comb-over by Checkov that even tops his wig from the early days. The portrayal of the hippie troupe looks like they have been beamed straight out of a 1960s soft porn. And this Adam guy would probably be better off at a CSD than on the Enterprise.
When I see episodes like this, I am not surprised that TOS was canceled after the third season. Everything seems loveless, as if everyone involved had lost the desire to even try. The episodes have nothing to do with science fiction anymore, but are basically just a soap opera of the worst kind. An amateur acting troupe could hardly deliver a worse performance than what was presented here. I knew that TOS was bad, but now that I am watching the episodes for the first time, I am appalled and shocked by the amateurish episodes.
This episode should be deleted from the Star Trek canon and all original recordings, copies, DVD and Bluray boxes should be buried in a garbage dump in New Mexico.
Star Trek: Let That Be Your Last Battlefield (1969)
Two mimes perform their show on the Enterprise
The third season of TOS seems more like an amateur improv theatre than a sci-fi show. The sets are usually nothing more than a sparsely decorated studio room and in this episode in particular you get the feeling that two mime artists in their PJs are rehearsing their new children's birthday show.
The stories often start off promisingly, but they usually lack depth and a philosophical touch. Where other sci-fi shows make the viewer think, TOS deals with the issues superficially and stereotypically. A story about senseless racial madness? What if you colored one antagonist's face black/white and the other's white/black? That should make every viewer recognise the ridiculousness of racism and prejudice. Unfortunately, the whole thing doesn't seem very authentic because on the one hand this kind of colouring on the face is pretty unrealistic and on the other hand the costumes of the two are pretty cheap. This makes their whole conflict seem artificial and fake.
The fact that in the end the entire population of their planet was wiped out and the two warring parties apparently destroyed each other in their racial hatred is once again the typical TOS sledgehammer method of hammering morality into the viewers' brains.
Tenet (2020)
Should have been called "The Arms Dealer's Wife" - because that's basically what this film is about
Tenet could have been a good film if only the basic theme of time inversion had been woven into an intelligent plot. But even Nolan now seems to have to resort to platitudes and stereotypes in the style of James Bond or other third-rate villain films, as all his creativity has already been used up. The fact that someone wants to destroy the world again is boring enough. But the fact that his motivation is now a mix of "people deserve to die because they are destroying the environment" with "if I can't have the world, nobody should have it" is pretty weak. And completely implausible. A murderous arms dealer with an oversized private yacht, helicopters and God knows what else is actually talking about environmental destruction!
In addition, Tenet - despite the supposed threat to all of humanity - gets lost in a tired side plot about the arms dealer's wife. When billions of lives are at stake, a woman, especially one who also has enough dirt on her hands, is probably dispensable. I couldn't sympathize for a second with the alleged suffering of this woman. She married an arms dealer for the money and because he enabled her a carefree life of wealth. Despite knowing about his murderous business dealings, she looked the other way so that she could continue living her beautiful life. But when her husband then also becomes aggressive towards her and uses their son as leverage, she finally understands what she has let herself in for. Sorry, but no pity from me. If you sleep with the devil, you shouldn't be surprised to wake up in hell the next morning.
And I can't help it. Some of these time inversions just don't make sense. When the final pincer attack takes place and one group is time inversed, why do both groups attack at the same time? One group should have attacked ten minutes earlier than the other, since one group is moving back in time. Also: yes, it might help the film to distinguish what is going on and who is actually who at the end. But did the portrayal really have to be so foolproof? Red for normal time, blue for inverse time? Even the numbers on the clocks were different colors, as were the different time chambers or the cargo containers in which the squads were flown in. And because that apparently wasn't enough, some smart guy came up with the idea of giving the time-inverted people oxygen masks so that at the end everyone would know for sure who was marching forwards or backwards through time. By the way: They cannot breathe oxygen because then it would be time inversed for them. But they can apparently eat and drink...
And the scientist who created this device seems to have been a very intelligent one. If she wanted to destroy this technology forever, why did she hide the individual parts and, above all, why did she hide them in places where they could be recovered eventually? She would have been better off throwing them into the depths of the oceans or just blowing them up with all the records. What utter nonsense. And please - this ridiculous algorithm prop is a joke. Can it get any worse? There are videos on YouTube with better film props made of EVA foam than this monstrous THING that was made for a multi-million dollar film.
The film seems incomplete to me. The protagonist remains pale (also due to the below-average acting performance of the main lead). There is no background story. He is catapulted directly into the action. I didn't get any connection to him. It seems to me that the idea of this time inversion fascinated everyone involved in this film so much that they forgot to create a great film with a great story around this interesting idea.
And this absolutely miserable film score and sound design is an outrage.
Star Trek: Discovery: Life, Itself (2024)
10 stars for the memes and to celebrate the end of this misery
Finally the misery is over and this series has come to an end. A day to celebrate. One can only hope that there will be no more DIS prequels, sequels, spin-offs, origin stories or remakes. Although a new series with Michelle Yeoh, Section 31, is already in production and is a spin-off of DIS. And apparently a series about Starfleet Academy with Tilly is being worked on - you can imagine that this will be another low. It will probably be a playground for all the DIS characters that you actually wanted to banish from your mind forever. If Paramount had any balls, they would stop production after the devastating reviews and ratings for DIS and invest the money elsewhere. And while they're at it, they should also fire Alex Kurtzman and forbid him from ever touching anything to do with Star Trek again!
By the way, I'm giving this episode 10 stars just for the memes and to appreciate the moment that put a long overdue end to this seven-year chapter that should have been over after two seasons.
Now to this episode. Director to cameraman: "Once again nothing happens in this episode, but to make it look spectacular and action-packed, just shake the camera and move it from left to right and back again when we're in close-up, OK?" Seriously, the shaky camera in this episode is a joke! And at the end you ask yourself: what was the point? We already knew in the first episode that the Progenitor tech was dangerous. Did it take ten episodes to destroy the tech at the end? In the 1990s Star Trek series, all of this would have been told in a two-parter! The story about Moll and L'ak also had no deeper meaning. At the end, Burnham tells Moll that her lover cannot be saved and she is like "Well then," moves on and is never seen again. The Breen also had little to do in this episode. Instead, they are deceived by Saru with a cheap bluff or fly straight into a plasma cloud, only to be blown up. This fits with the fact that the Breen have been portrayed as complete idiots throughout the season.
Watching this episode made me feel like I did in the cinema during the last Lord of the Rings film. The ring was thrown into Mount Doom and I wanted to pack up and leave. But no, the film went on forever because then the big farewell tour started. Exactly the same in this episode. 25 extra minutes of boredom that nobody asked for and that nobody was waiting for! During the hugging scenes I had to fast forward a few times. And once again Michael Burnham is the focus of attention. What happened to the other crew members? This is not addressed in the Michael Burnham Show. Instead, we see Michael and Book living in a huge mansion and drinking coffee like two lovebirds. What about all the other extras whose names nobody knows, but who always looked scared on the bridge and cheered each other up? Or the main characters? Instead, we learn that the two have a son who seems to be in his early 30s, but is already a captain! It's a miracle that he doesn't have a woman's first name. There will probably be a series called "Star Trek: Burnham & Son" at some point.
And I'm so glad that this season only has ten episodes. Otherwise, Culber would probably still be grinning in episode 20 about the transcendental experience he had with Jinaal and how his life was turned completely upside down. Apparently one of the writers really thought that viewers would be so fascinated by the topic of the Zhian'tara that it had to be the focus again and again and again.
I still think that the three series from the 1990s have more charm than DIS. A lot of eye candy for nothing. At least back then, interesting and profound stories were told. One thing I know for sure: I will not watch any of the DIS episodes ever again. It was hard enough getting through five seasons, especially the absolute low points of seasons 3-5. I would advise any sci-fi fan who is not necessarily a die-hard Star Trek fan not to waste their time on this series.
Star Trek: The Omega Glory (1968)
USA! USA! USA! Even on foreign planets the American flag flies and of course the American Constitution is also there
I wonder where the science is in this fiction. Once again, a pointless episode criticizing the Vietnam War that also makes no sense at all. How did the American flag and the Constitution end up on a distant planet? And once again we see aliens with ridiculous wigs.
How Star Trek has become popular at all is still a mystery to me. Many episodes of TOS are pure puppet theater. If you want to criticize current events, the politics of the current era or problems of the here and now in a sci-fi episode, then you should do it cleverly, get people to think. And not hammer the message into the viewers' brains with "Yangs" and "Kohms", American flags and the Constitution!
Star Trek: By Any Other Name (1968)
Space invaders repelled with kisses
Another TOS episode where the story is pretty interesting but then turns into a boring romcom. We have an overpowering alien species from another galaxy that has taken on the form of humans and wants to conquer the Milky Way. And instead of solving this conflict cleverly, the aliens are convinced with whiskey and kisses that they would rather settle on a few planets in their human form and live there in peaceful coexistence, rather than subjugate the entire galaxy.
Typical cheesy 1960s sci-fi - including women in sexy clothes for no apparent reason. And the highly developed invaders then fall for the age-old prison trick of "Hey, our buddy is sick". Cringe.
Star Trek: A Private Little War (1968)
Mugato, Mogatu, Mugutu, Gumato, Tomato
Another TOS episode in which the wigs are so terrible that the plot no longer matters in the end because you can't take the whole story seriously anyway. I was wondering if the wigs from "The Apple" were reused for this episode. The depiction of foreign peoples in TOS is usually limited to giving them ridiculous wigs. Wigs are in TOS what nose ridges are in TNG, VOY and DS9 - the only distinguishing feature of aliens that otherwise look like humans. Or TOS goes completely over the top and puts actors in full-body costumes to portray a few monsters in the best Godzilla style. Like the Gorn or, in this episode, Mugatos. Fun Fact: Mugatos later play a central role in an episode in Lower Decks.
Apparently whoever was responsible for the bad wigs on set was also responsible for the costume design. How else does it regularly happen that aliens living on barren planets in a pre-industrial hunter-gatherer culture wear clothes like they're on their way to 1960s disco? Already in "Friday's Child" the costumes were an insult to every sci-fi fan. In this episode, Nona is actually wearing an orange feather top and skin-tight black leather pants. In addition, she is dressed up with make-up and hairstyle as if she had been beamed to this planet directly from Earth in 1968.
Unfortunately, the poor costume and set design of TOS usually overshadows the stories of the episodes, which would otherwise be okay. For example, this episode is about the balance of power between different peoples and the fact that peace can often only be secured with weapons as a deterrent. But why the Klingons equip one of the parties on the planet with old-fashioned firearms remains a mystery.
Star Trek: The Immunity Syndrome (1968)
The area of penetration will no doubt be sensitive
I think I witnessed Spock's most ridiculous statement in a Star Trek episode: "The area of penetration will no doubt be sensitive." I wonder if such words were also spoken in Spock and T'Pring's bedroom when Spock made romantic advances to his fiancée in a logically unromantic way?
Otherwise the episode is average. A huge space monster threatens the Enterprise and in good old TOS tradition it is atomized in the end. In Kirk's day, explorers and scientists were more like big game hunters and demolitionists. Shoot first, ask questions later. And Spock and Bones both try to convince Kirk that they are the best fit for the job. At the end, Spock is allowed to fire a shot. What a blast!
Star Trek: Discovery: Lagrange Point (2024)
The writers should spend less time in the oil bath and more time at their desks
Ignoring all the typical DIS heartbreak and the fact that Starfleet is portrayed as a bunch of amateurs just like the Breen, the remaining 15 minutes of this episode aren't as bad as usual. At least this time it's not just Burnham who's being sent on a mission. Although Burnham will certainly be the focus again in the final episode, as she jumps through the dimensional gate into the pod after Moll.
But of course this episode is again overshadowed by facepalm elements: In Starfleet you can now apparently decide for yourself whether you are sent on a critical away mission or not. While in other Star Trek series the words "That's an order" were regularly uttered by the captains, I don't recall Burnham ever using these words in her role as captain. Adira can decide for herself whether she wants to go or not. And of course her self-appointed foster fathers, Culber and Stamets, act like two worried parents sending their child to school alone on the bus for the first time. Incidentally, Culber apparently does not see it as his officer's duty to be in sickbay in the middle of a battle to tend to possible wounded. Instead, he supports Stamets emotionally in engineering, because no one on board Discovery can do their job without emotional support. See Burnham: Even in a time-critical infiltration mission surrounded by Breen soldiers, there's apparently still enough time to express her feelings to Book - but since the Breen in DIS are portrayed as incompetent idiots anyway, who are looking forward to some gay games in an oil bath after work, you can apparently just take a stroll on their battleships without looking suspicious.
And in good DIS tradition, even during the big showdown there is still enough time to talk about feelings or hug each other. Saru also seems to have all the time in the world. Speaking of showdown: How come Starfleet only sends ONE ship to the place where the Progenitor tech is hidden? And what about all the allies in the United Federation of Planets? Doesn't anyone want to stop the Breen from laying their hands on dangerous technology? You can't shake the feeling that Starfleet only has a handful of ships and that there are no allies left in this vast galaxy. Vulcans, Andorians, Tellarites... where are they when you need them?
By the way: The Progenitor tech is hidden in a unique binary black star system, which would have been measured, charted, analyzed and examined with probes by dozens of research ships over the last 800 years. But no one noticed this strange object? Sure. And can someone please remove Tilly from the bridge once and for all? She is completely unprofessional and a disgrace to Starfleet. She also complains to Rayner that it makes the crew nervous when he's constantly pacing back and forth. If this makes the bridge officers nervous, then they have chosen the wrong job. In the other Star Trek series, the bridge crew in particular was always portrayed as the elite on board and not as crybabies.
And why does this one person (whose name I don't know) want to buy this other person (whose name I don't know either) a drink when on the one hand everything is replicated anyway and on the other hand money no longer has any meaning (except for Latinum greedy Ferengi)?
Star Trek: Wolf in the Fold (1967)
Women are being killed and no one is upset
This episode is complete crap. A poor attempt to solve a murder mystery in space. And when the whole thing is linked to Jack the Ripper at the end, this episode loses its last shred of credibility.
The fact that in TOS nobody cares if a few red shirts die again is a good tradition and has become a running gag. And it is also known that Bones, as a doctor, doesn't lift a finger when someone dies in front of his eyes. No resuscitation measures, no detailed examination - he briefly reaches for the artery and then remarks emotionlessly "Jim, he/she is dead". In this episode, however, women are gradually being killed and everyone seems totally chilled. A dozen stabs, but no one really seems upset. Scotty can move around freely, Kirk can do his own investigation, no crowds, nothing. As if someone just hit their head and now has a big bump.
Three women are painfully stabbed to death by a mass murderer and in the end Kirk has nothing else in mind than to beam back to this pleasure planet and probably head towards a brothel because he knows a place where there are women who... And then they joke about how happy the crew will be for the next few hours because everyone is under the influence of a sedative.
What total nonsense.
Star Trek: Metamorphosis (1967)
Cochrane is a misogynistic dick
First of all: A human male appears on a strange alien planet out of nowhere who introduces himself as "Mr. Cochrane". And that doesn't seem strange to Kirk, Spock and McCoy. In the Star Trek world, Zefram Cochrane is a legend. Without him, Starfleet wouldn't exist. Each of the three should know that one day he just disappeared like that. Any normal person would have immediately asked whether this man is related to Zefram Cochrane and pointed out that it is a huge coincidence that he has the same name as the great Zefram. But no one notices this similarity of names. And every Starfleet officer should have learned about Cochrane in their training and should know photos, videos, etc. Of him.
On the other hand: I'm conflicted about this episode. The premise of the story is actually pretty good. An alien energy being keeps a castaway alive because it is attracted to him. Yes, even because it has developed a deep love for this person. However, when Cochrane learns that this being loves him, he suddenly reacts negatively. Full of contempt for this being. And this despite the fact that he has lived with it for 150 years, has repeatedly established a kind of spiritual connection with it and owes his life to this being. This is the typical 1960s misogyny in TOS again. When he learns that this creature is female, he despises it. But the misogyny doesn't end there. The Starfleet commissioner who traveled with them is also treated condescendingly. In the end, the being takes over her body and suddenly Cochrane isn't so averse to it anymore, because now the being has a pretty, feminine body. And although the being claims that part of the woman still exists, it seems more as if it has now possessed the body in order to enter into a physical relationship with Cochrane.
In the end, the only thing that remains in your memory from this episode: deep affection is only possible in TOS if the female counterpart has a sexy body and a beautiful face.
Star Trek: Catspaw (1967)
Not just cat paws on Chekov's head
The central element in this episode is definitely Chekov's ultra bad wig. Holy hell. The thing looks like this black cat jumped on Chekov's head and died there. Totally unrealistic. He looks like a bad joke. As if it were some kind of comedy and they deliberately wanted to exaggerate with this wig that looks like some kind of helmet. TOS is a paradise for wig and hairpiece lovers anyway. Most women have tower hairstyles that are made of fake hair or braided hair pieces. It was probably quite fashionable in the 1960s - but seems laughable today.
Sorry, but I couldn't take the whole episode seriously because of that talking wig with two legs.
Star Trek: Discovery: Labyrinths (2024)
This series is the real mindscape: you've been looking for the exit far too long
The short version: Burnham is playing a boring escape game and instead of solving puzzles to find a way out of a maze, she acts like a defiant child and melts into tearful self-pity - which ends up being exactly the solution to the puzzle! Know yourself and your weaknesses and admit your fears! Touchdown for Burnham.
The long version: Anyone who thinks that an episode called "Labyrinths" is about tricky puzzles, mind games and demanding tasks that require all sorts of technical gadgets is wrong again. And in good tradition, who if not Burnham is the center of everyone's attention in this episode? She alone has to face the challenges of this 800-year-old game of the mind, while the rest of the crew takes the position on the sidelines. Since the showrunners and writers of the series stopped giving a damn about this series a long time ago, the episode is once again a middle finger directly in the viewers' faces. There are no puzzles in the style of National Treasure, no action-packed treasure hunts like in Indiana Jones, no crazy dream worlds like in Alice in Wonderland and no nightmare horror like in The Cell. As always, it all boils down to the fact that the answer to all questions and the solution to all problems are long monologues about emotions, love, fear and self-doubt.
By the way, the topic of labyrinths and mindscapes is nothing new in Star Trek. Take the episodes "The Thaw" (VOY), "Extreme Measures" or "Move Along Home" (both DS9) as examples. In these episodes, the protagonists actually have to find a way out of their dream worlds. And the solution to the mystery in these episodes isn't just a tearful confession of being a workoholic who didn't care enough about the feelings of an ex-lover.
It's really sad. Even a complete amateur could have written an exciting story using the elements of this episode. But the writers of DIS just have a knack for turning gold into s***.
Star Trek: The Alternative Factor (1967)
Hey Lazarus, how about a shave?
Although you can't expect breathtaking graphic effects in TOS, the effects in this episode are so bad that they are an insult to all viewers. As if the effects specialists had tried to capture a bad LSD trip on film. And then this spaceship with the round glass dome! Like watching a 1950s sci-fi film!
The story of this episode is also total nonsense. The antimatter counterpart can just walk around in our universe and, despite medical analysis, Bones doesn't notice that there's anything wrong with this person (even though the beard always looks different). And what's actually wrong with Kirk? Is he just an idiot? He should know by now that they constantly encounter strange phenomena and inexplicable events. But after Bones tells him that Lazarus' scar has suddenly disappeared, Kirk once again just thinks that Bones is kidding him! Or when Spock initially detects no life on the planet and then suddenly a life form appears on his screen - Kirk reacts irritably and incredulously. How could Spock have missed this before?!? Hello? Maybe because there was no sign of life there before?
By the way, Spock says at the beginning that the planet is hostile to life and that there is no life there. Nevertheless, the crew can beam onto the planet without protective equipment or oxygen and bushes grow on every corner.
Star Trek: Discovery: Erigah (2024)
Knocking on Federation headquarters' doors
Once again, DIS presents us with a completely dysfunctional Federation and a Starfleet that seems more like a friendly neighborhood watch than an interplanetary, multi-species organization that stretches across thousands of planets with trillions of inhabitants. The scene when a Breen ship appears out of thin air and parks in front of the gates of the Federation headquarters somehow reminded me of the film "Red Dawn". Apparently the Federation has neither sensor grids that would detect such a spaceship days in advance, nor interceptors, orbital guns and mines. And there seems to be no need to place a few battle cruisers around the headquarters either - despite Burnham's vision of a possible future in which the Breen have destroyed the headquarters. The fact that the Breen can beam into the meeting room with their weapons and Starfleet security is once again overpowered by a single woman who can also hack into the station's systems is almost a footnote in comparison. With all the incompetence, it's a miracle that the Federation hasn't been overrun by Romulans, Cardassians, Breen, Klingons, Borg, the Dominion, or other factions from the Gamma and Delta quadrants in the last 800 years.
And the future doesn't seem to be looking bleak just because of this apparent breakdown of galactic order. Apparently there are no historians, scribes, or other intellectuals left in the 32nd century. There is NO ONE in all of Federation space who knows anything about "manuscripts" - except engineer Reno (what a coincidence). You'd think there would be thousands of scholars on Betazed who would know something about a Betazoid manuscript. There should be scholars a dime a dozen on Vulcan, too. But the best option is JETT RENO?!? So this is what our future looks like after everyone has been dumbed down by TikTok, Instagram and the internet in general: In the 32nd century, there will be no one left in the entire galaxy who knows anything about books and history. And even artificial intelligence will become useless.
By the way: Since when do memories attach to objects that an empath then can read? And what is the point of an archive space station changing its location every 50 years to protect its treasures when, on the one hand, someone already knew 800 years ago where it would be today and, on the other hand, Tilly was able to calculate and extrapolate the archive's path through the previous locations anyway? And I don't even want to start ranting about Tilly and Adira, who are once again verbally patting each other on the back and complimenting each other on how well the other is doing their job. If all of these "Good job" and "Well done" scenes were cut out of the episodes, the story would have been told by now.
Rayner is silenced once again in this episode because he does not agree with the optimistic evaluation of the situation like the others. In previous Star Trek series, it was good practice to sit down with the senior officers when making important decisions, put all the facts and opinions on the table and discuss them openly. Picard, Janeway and even Kirk encouraged their officers to speak openly and also to express concerns. The goal was always to evaluate different points of view before a decision was made. But not in the Michael Burnham Show. Opinions that do not coincide with Michael Burnham's are not welcome and first officers who violate this rule are reprimanded and thrown out of the room. After all, there's no "we" in Michael, just an "I".
I am still speechless at how extremely friendly Moll and L'ak are treated and how much Book in particular cares for Moll. Not only did the two of them kill a few Breen, in one of the last episodes they also poisoned a guy and watched him die. I don't even want to know how many more lives they wiped out while carrying out their shady courier services. They are serious criminals and murderers, but are portrayed in a romanticized way like two desperate lovers! Furthermore, there was no reason not to hand Moll and L'ak over to the Breen. It would have given the Federation a breather and a head start in the search for the next clue. After all, the Breen were primarily occupied with internal struggles for power in their Empire. In the end, this whole delaying tactic didn't work anyway.
And why is EVERYTHING on the Discovery always so dark? Sickbay should be lit like daylight so that treatments and operations can be carried out there. But Sickbay seems more like a nightclub than a medical facility. There are no nurses anywhere there either.
Star Trek: Arena (1967)
Lo and behold the powerful and deadly Gorn - who, however, look neither powerful nor deadly
Yay, the Federation's first encounter with the Gorn. Unfortunately, this Gorn looks more like an extra from a bad Godzilla movie. The costume designers could have put a little more effort into it. The mouth doesn't even move when this creature grunts and speaks. In addition, this Gorn moved so sluggishly and slowly that Kirk could have outmaneuvered it forever and then rammed a sharpened branch into its intestines from behind to finish it off.
In any case, a lot has changed since the Gorn were portrayed in TOS, to the only slightly better portrayal in ENT, to the CGI-animated portrayal in SNW. The Gorn now look more like the aliens from the movies of the same name. Although I don't think the new interpretation is successful either. After all, the Gorn are supposed to be a superior opponent with highly developed technology. And that doesn't fit with the fact that the creatures look like monsters, move around on all fours and have claws instead of hands. How is such a beast supposed to build and operate a spaceship? Somehow the makers of Star Trek haven't really found the right form for the Gorn yet that exudes brutality and cunning but also seems authentic in the sense of a highly developed species that builds and operates intergalactic spaceships.
The motivation of this other species, which pits Kirk and this Gorn against each other in a gladiator fight, is also rather vague. As if the conflict between the Federation and the Gorn would be resolved forever through this one fight. In addition, while they seem to be against violence on the one hand, they would destroy the loser's spaceship on the other. Even when Kirk shows mercy, this alien asks whether he should now destroy the Gorn's ship. That somehow doesn't really fit together.
Star Trek: The Galileo Seven (1967)
Logic dictates to leave this insubordinate crew on the planet to teach them a lesson
This episode is all about what makes a good leader and about decision making based on logic vs gut feeling. Spock has to prove himself as a commanding officer for the first time by taking command of an away mission that fails and results in the shuttle crashing on a planet inhabited by hostile creatures.
First of all, the lack of professionalism of the crew members and their openly displayed insubordination should have led to harsher consequences. The command structure is massively questioned, as is Spock's leadership style. His orders are constantly answered with cynical comments and even Bones, also a senior officer, joins in with this undignified behavior. Bones is not a good officer anyway and an even worse doctor. I consider him absolutely unsuitable to serve on the Federation flagship. If only his medical competence would justify his cynicism and grumpy manner - but his medical expertise leaves a lot to be desired. If you compare Bones with the holographic doctor on Voyager, who was also initially condescending and arrogant, then you have to at least acknowledge that he is an absolute expert in the field of medicine and has always given 100% for his patients - even for enemy species. That cannot be said of Bones. In any case, the junior officers should have been demoted at the very least. If not court-martialed.
The episode repeatedly plays with whether a decision is logical or whether it should have been made emotionally. With the well-being of the crew in mind. However, logic is often used completely incorrectly here. If Spock assumes that the alien creatures can be intimidated with phaser fire, then that is not logic. It is merely an assumption based on known behavior of other species. After all, one has to assume that they do not even know about energy weapons and their effects. Basically, it is just a decision with uncertainty. It would have been just as logical to assume that these creatures also react to aggression with aggression, as is known with many predators. So it was by no means "the most logical" conclusion. It is also not logical to decide to leave two crew members behind to save weight. First of all, there would have been enough unnecessary weight in the shuttle, from the chairs to the clothes they were wearing. Furthermore, it was not considered that it might be sufficient to take off with one or two crew members and make contact with Enterprise. As soon as they had been rescued, Kirk could have returned to the now known location of the crew members left behind to rescue them. They could easily have held out for several days, hunkered down somewhere with phasers at the ready.
The big problem with this episode is that Spock suggests his conclusions and decisions as the only "logical" solutions. Although he himself says that there are always alternatives. Logic is not a one-way street. In mathematics, there are often several correct ways to solve a problem. In addition, it is presumptuous to assume that one can only react to the threat of a rather underdeveloped and non-logical species with logic.
Star Trek: Balance of Terror (1966)
The point of this story: Even more pointy ears
The first good episode of the first TOS season. Finally, you get the feeling that there are professionals on board the Enterprise. And finally, as a viewer, you feel the tension and the thrill. No wonder that this exact moment was picked out in the SNW episode "A Quality of Mercy" to show Pike what catastrophic consequences it would have for the entire galaxy if he tried to cheat his fate. The events are played out there a second time - but this time with Pike as captain, who chooses a different path to solve the problem with the Romulans on the border of the neutral zone.
But you have to ask yourself how it is possible that, despite an endless war, no one has seen a Romulan yet. There must be photos and videos, descriptions of other species that may have already come into contact with the Romulans, or may be trading with them. There must also have been bodies in all these battles during the war that could have been recovered and examined. Stiles' condescending attitude towards Spock when it becomes clear that Romulans and Vulcans apparently share a common ancestor is quite childish. As if it's Spock's fault that a Romulan ship is attacking outposts with a destructive new weapon. However, Kirk reacts to these presumptuous taunts in a very leadership manner for a change, defending Spock and putting Stiles in his place.
In any case, an exciting episode that is an important cornerstone in the Star Trek canon: the first visual contact with Romulans.
Star Trek: Shore Leave (1966)
A crew full of explorers who make no attempt to investigate the truth behind strange events
Ridiculous and silly episode without a spark of sense or reason. There are also some crazy episodes in later episodes like YOY "The Thaw" or SNW "The Elysian Kingdom". But at least the crews tried to get to the bottom of what was going on in these episodes.
In this TOS episode, however, no one seems really worried or even curious about why people and things suddenly appear out of thin air. A ship full of explorers with the mission to discover new worlds and new life forms, but no one tries to investigate the events on the planet with scientific intuition. The fact that a medieval woman's dress suddenly hangs in the bushes doesn't bother Bones any more than the fact that a bully from Kirk's academy days 15 years ago suddenly appears and still seems as young as he did then. Instead of investigating, Kirk has nothing better to do than to resume his old feud with this guy and get into a fist fight. White rabbits, samurai, an old fighter plane, a tiger, a revolver... nobody really finds this strange. Instead, the crew seems to be having fun and Kirk, of course, immediately jumps on an old flame that appears out of nowhere. And since when has Bones been interested in a female colleague? The two seem to know each other pretty well...
And when it becomes clear at the end that this is a pleasure planet of an apparently highly developed species, the crew also makes no attempt to investigate this species and its technology more closely. A completely pointless episode that can be safely skipped.
Star Trek: Discovery: Whistlespeak (2024)
Whisperspeak, snoozewhistles and the BFF Directive
So, anyone who at this point in the series still cares about anything that happens in the episodes and doesn't just continue to watch to tick another box on the "I've seen all the Star Trek episodes" list is really beyond help. Although there are obviously still a handful of people who open this page immediately after a new episode has come out to give it 10 stars out of principle. Every time, shortly after the start of a new episode, there are 10-15 10-star ratings. But after a while, when the real Star Trek fans have seen and rated the episodes, the result settles somewhere between 5 and 6 stars. By the way, I recently looked at the average rating of all Star Trek seasons here just for fun. DIS is in second place with season 4 (after season 2 of the Animated Series, which is in first place) and DIS is also fifth place with season 3. Besides the Animated Series (which shouldn't be a benchmark for quality anyway), DIS is the only series with two seasons that appear in the Flop Five! And yet the showrunners and writers have learned nothing from the lousy seasons 3 and 4! It just keeps getting worse. One dud after another! Make it stop finally!
What was the point of this episode anyway? Burnham is once again carrying out an away mission - as always. This time she has Tilly in tow and anyone who had at least a spark of hope when watching the episode that Burnham would pull herself together and not break the Prime Directive and Tilly would finally be good for something - namely bringing rain as a human sacrifice - will of course be disappointed once again. Burnham doesn't give a damn about the Prime Directive, because friendship is ultimately much more important than anything else. Best friends forever! And then Burnham convinces an old man, who knows nothing other than life on this planet with sacrifices and worship, with a short whisperspeak, that there are aliens and technology and that he should no longer sacrifice virgins and the like in the future. Incidentally, DIS is once again rubbing gender ideology in our faces with a three-gender civilization - probably just to make us hear "they" instead of "he" and "she" even more often. Apparently it is not enough that the stuttering Adira is constantly addressed as "they".
And this whiny Culber is really getting on my nerves now. Yes, we know, you had a spiritual experience during the Zhian'tara. Write a book about it! Or go to a monastery and take a vow of silence and spare your fellow human beings this lamentation. What a difference to Star Trek 30 years ago! In the DS9 episode "Facets" several characters also perform the Zhian'tara (with Jadzia Dax) and did we hear any whining afterwards? NO! No whining, no tears, and no sobbing self-pity three episodes later!
Oh, and it's nice that this species communicates by whistling. Apparently they only do that when Burnham and Tilly aren't around... and Tilly wins the race?!? Fitness - what's that again? Just be body positive and you can achieve anything! And what does this Carl Fredricksen character actually want to tell us with his notepad from the 21st century? This series truly has the worst of the bad characters in Star Trek history!
Digman! (2023)
The humor is more like Dickman, but still hilarious (actually because of that)
This series is simply hilarious. It's not perfect and often drifts into silly comedy. But if you like (the old) Family Guy episodes and are generally a fan of animated adult humor, you should definitely give this series a closer look. The characters and their interactions with each other are just brilliant. Rip and Saltine are particularly noteworthy. Rip seems like Nicolas Cage and his outbursts of anger are awesome. And Saltine is a lovable, nerdy character on the one hand, but on the other hand she's also quick-witted and smart. Mitra Jouhari voices Saltine almost perfectly and her voice acting never seems forced or unbelievable. The setting of the series is also fresh and different (apart from the more than obvious references to Indiana Jones or National Treasure): archaeologists are the new pop stars who are celebrated in the news and on the red carpet, and museums are the must-have for billionaires to show off their wealth.
I can't understand the many 1 ratings. Sure, the humor is often crude, there are lots of jokes about sex or masturbation, and there's constant swearing. Some scenes are also pretty questionable if you don't see them for what they are: over the top comedy. For example, when Rip gives a baby a beating, although the baby isn't actually a baby, thus putting the scene in a different moral light (which Rip also philosophizes about in detail in this scene). As an educated adult, however, you should be able to put this kind of humor into a broader context and recognize it as subtle social criticism - or just as stupid humor.
The series definitely has potential and I'm already looking forward to a second season. Maybe the creators will then iron out some of the flaws from the first season. For example, I find some of the characters rather less appealing, such as Quail Eegan, who is something between Elon Musk and Taylor Swift: multi-billionaire and archaeology pop star (in the broad sense). For me he just doesn't look authentic. And the story with the puff people was a bit too childish. The same goes for the yetis. The series initially gave the impression that it could be a normal society that just happens to celebrate archaeologists. Yetis and gnomes just don't fit into that picture.
Star Trek: The Corbomite Maneuver (1966)
Yeoman Rand starts with a 2-7 in a children's game of poker
Yeoman Rand is once again the female punching bag that the testosterone-fueled machos of the Enterprise let off steam on. She is once again the target of the male crew's condescending remarks. Not only has she now been demoted to a cheap waitress and serves Kirk lunch and afternoon coffee. She also has to listen to Kirk say that he can't stand her presence and is angry that he has been assigned a female yeoman. After all, calling the ship "she" is enough female emancipation from his point of view. To be honest: I find it quite difficult to watch the TOS episodes these days. It feels like the series was produced by the Taliban.
The episode started out quite promisingly, but the twist made it completely ridiculous for me. The fact that Kirk's poker bluff is responded to with an equally similar bluff by the alien species is a clever move. But then a child??? And that ridiculous puppet? If this species is as technologically advanced as claimed, it would certainly be possible to send a suitably adapted image across the screen via the computer.