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All Disney Animated Feature Films Ranked
Reviews
Dune: Part Two (2024)
A scienfic fiction masterpiece that blows the first movie out of the water
Science Fiction is a notoriously difficult genre to do well, and like Horror, can often be divisive with audiences. The first Dune was a great film, but common criticisms were that is was slow, dry and somewhat shallow. Dune: Part Two is none of these things. It is a truly spectacular movie-going experience that treats the source material with a great deal of reverence while also not being afraid to do its own thing. But what is perhaps this movie's greatest strength is that it treats it audience with some level of respect. It doesn't shy away from its sci-fi roots, and doesn't attempt to pad itself with unnecessary humour or sarcasm in an attempt to make itself more palatable. Dune 2 believes in itself, and its audience, and the end result is a gripping, beautiful, haunting film that will surely become a classic.
The visuals, as usual, are spectacular. There are some sequences in this film that were so visually stunning that I am still thinking of them days after. The music, cinematography, set design, audio design and costuming are all on another level in this movie. Everything about it feels grandiose and sumptuous, and you can tell a great deal of care was taken to make this movie as beautiful as possible.
Story and acting wise, Dune also impresses. While the movie does stray from the book and alter some plot points, the spirit of Dune and its message are prescient throughout. The middle of the movie does sag somewhat, and pacing issues may be one of my few criticisms of Dune: Part Two, but it's a minor issue that doesn't really effect the quality of the overall product too much. Timothee Chalamet shines here, and I was pleasantly surprised at just how believable he was as a dangerous Messiah-like figure. He sold the transformation incredibly well. Rebecca Ferguson is also at her best here, and my only complaint is that she isn't in the movie more.
Other shining stars are Austin Butler, who is a magnificent choice for Fayd-Rautha, Javier Bardem as Stilgar, who provides some light brevity, and Charlotte Rampling who is fantastic as always. Florence Pugh, Lea Sideoux, Dave Bautista and Zendaya also give great performances. Christopher Walken is really showing his age in this movie, unfortunately, and I did feel that his portrayal of the Emperor lacked the gravitas that the role demanded.
I highly recommend Dune: Part Two. It's an amazing film made with a great deal of care, and you can tell that Dennis truly respects and loves the source material he is adapting. I would recommend that you watch this movie in theatres, it's an amazing experience. If you can find a theatre with either IMAX or Dolby Atmos, you will have an amazing time. Movies like this are why theatres exist. It is one of the most memorable movie-going experiences I've had since Mad Max: Fury Road. Bring on Dune: Messiah!
Titanic (1997)
In retrospect, we were all too hard on this film
If you're a Millennial like me, you probably experienced the phenomena known as 'Titanic-mania' during your childhood, where everyone was obsessed with this movie. It was in theatres for almost a year, and every girl between 8-20 was obsessed with Leonardo DiCaprio. Titanic was everywhere in the late 1990s, and because of its popularity and reputation as a gushy romance movie popular with teenage girls, it attracted a lot of hate. Despite winning numerous Oscars, Titanic, for the longest time, had a negative reputation, especially among men.
In hindsight, if you had your image of Titanic shaped by the negative media landscape surrounding it in the late 90s to the 2000s, I highly suggest you give it another go. It really is a wonderful film, and it's enjoyable and fun even if you're a guy. The special effects are second to none, the acting is great and James Horner's soundtrack is absolutely majestic. Even the love story itself, while a bit gushy in parts, is actually quite sweet and endearing. Both Rose and Jack are full realized, strong characters who you care about.
My advice, especially to 20-30 something year old men who were told all their life that 'Titanic sucks', is to give it a chance. You're sleeping on not only a great drama, but a great action movie as well.
Smile (2022)
A terrifying and fun horror experience
'Smile' does not attempt to reinvent the wheel when it comes to horror, and doesn't have any lofty goals of being profound or thought provoking. It's only goal is to scare you, and it does a fine job of doing so. Elevated by a believable and captivating performance from Sosie Bacon, Smile is a fun and terrifying rollercoaster that never feels boring or derivative. While it certainly has some weaker elements, such as some spotty CGI and a very underbaked supporting cast (seriously what was the point of the boyfriend?), Smile is probably one of the scariest horror movies I've seen in quite a few years.
Smile does not shy away from jump scares, and while they are plentiful they very rarely feel cheap or forced. The scares are earned, and there are quite a few scenes that are just deliciously terrifying and shocking. Smile is probably not going to win any Oscars, but it's a fun theater experience and a must see if you're a horror movie fan. At the end of the day, it succeeds at what it set out to do and takes what could have been a silly premise and turns it into a relatively captivating and terrifying story.
Game of Thrones: The Long Night (2019)
In retrospect, the worst episode of the show
Yes the episode was dark, yes there was plot armour, but this episode's true blemish lies in its ending. A pitiful, disgraceful end to the White Walker threat and writing so bad that it retroactively ruins the entire show. The Long Night is where Game of Thrones died, the last 3 episodes of Season 8 were just the desecration of its corpse. It wouldn't have mattered if Episode 6 wasn't trash because this episode singlehandedly nullified the entire point of Game of Thrones.
The White Walkers were the penultimate threat. The overarching theme of the show. Who got to sit on the Iron Throne was purely secondary. And the show decided that it could deal with that threat in a single episode where nobody important died.
I did not even watch the rest of Season 8 after the Long Night ended because it was so destructive and corrosive to the entire show that nothing else that came after mattered, whether it was good or bad. Game of Throne's ending sucked, but it wasn't what killed the show.
Orphan: First Kill (2022)
A below average thriller elevated by a fantastic plot teist
Orphan: First Kill begins as a rather generic slasher film and by the time Esther meets the family you are probably rolling your eyes because everything feels like a retread of the first film. However the plot twist halfway through the film where we discover that the family also has secrets of their own make the film much more interesting and turn it from a generic slasher film into more of a cat and mouse thriller. It's definitely one of the better twists I've seen, although it doesn't save the movie entirely. Ultimately it still has quite a few problems and is not as good as the first film, but it's certainly entertaining and worth a watch.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
A soulless, empty husk of a movie that feels like it was generated by an algorithim
Remember the scene with the Brachiosaurus in Jurassic Park? Remember the sense of wonder and excitement you felt? How about the horror and anxiety you felt when the Velociraptors were stalking the children in the kitchen? There is nothing like that in this corporate, bland piece of uninspired trash they call a movie. Somehow they managed to make dinosaurs uninteresting and boring, while completely squandering the talent of Jeff Goldblum, Sam Neill and Laura Dern. It really is a remarkable feat. The film feels like it was designed by an AI. It is a vacuous, empty, soulless experience that absolutely defecates all over the legacy of Jurassic Park and why people loved it in the first place.
The writing is abysmal. Locusts and genetically modified children take center stage while the dinosaurs are reduced to flashy CGI showpieces that occasionally pop out to eat somebody or menacingly stalk the main characters before they are tamed by Chris Pratt's magic hands. The entire Malta scene was basically a Mission Impossible knockoff complete with some snazzy British villainess and a car chase. It felt so utterly out of place. Unfortunately once all the main characters get to Apple HQ... I mean Biosyn, the film gets even worse. The entire film feels weightless and empty. There are no stakes, the audience doesn't care about any of the two dimensional characters that are introduced and nothing feels earned. There is no sense of urgency or danger because the movie is too cowardly to kill anyone or put anyone in actual peril. Trevorrow then desperately tries to cram mindless nostalgia down your throat in an effort to mask his horrible film making and complete lack of originality.
Some of the dinosaur scenes are cool, but this film just feels like a celebration of mediocrity. The original cast are reduced to parodies of themselves while all the interesting and thought provoking ideas from the first film are thrown out the window in exchange for some mindless plot about GMOs and giant insect swarms. Jurassic Park was good because it was intelligent. It was thought provoking. The dinosaurs were shown sparingly, and the scenes with the human characters were equally as important and interesting. In comparison, Dominion is stupid, bland and unoriginal, and makes Jurassic World look like a masterpiece. And what a waste. The Jurassic World Series had so much potential and it was utterly squandered.
I can't even recommend this film as a 'turn off your brain and enjoy the special effects' kind of movie like Transformers or Fast and Furious. This movie is utterly uninteresting, and no amount of CGI dinosaurs can save it from being a total waste of your time and money. It is a Frankenstein Jurassic Park drained of all the magic, warmth and charm of the original. Skip it, and watch the dinosaur scenes on YouTube.
Game of Thrones: The Bells (2019)
A good episode, in isolation, and quintissentially Game of Thrones
I have been an open critic of Season 8 and Season 7. Very few would argue that both 'The Long Night' and 'The Last of the Starks' were immensely disappointing. However, I do believe that because the last episode was terrible, the unruly internet mob has been unable to look at 'The Bells' objectively.
Episode 5 does suffer, because the writers have rushed the conclusion of the show. But in retrospect, I believe it is one of the best episodes of the later seasons. ASOIAF has always been a series that shunned fantasy tropes of heroism and virtue, and has instead opted to show the ugly, horrendous side of war. This has been evident by events such as the Red Wedding.
'The Bells' shows that ugly side of war. One of my biggest criticisms of both Season 7 and Season 8 are that there were no stakes. There was no sense of dread. It was just bland fantasy where the good guys win, the bad guys lose and everything is happy and nobody dies. What I loved about this episode was that it showcased the true brutality and destruction of the taking of King's Landing. And yes, Dany's 'mad queen' arc has been rushed, I will give you that, but I do think this episode did the best it could given the accelerated pace of the final seasons. The acting was fantastic, the music was great, and ultimately, I think people should look away from the rabid anti-D&D mob for just a few minutes, and take an honest, objective look at this episode's finer points.
I think this wave of pessimism has made us unable to enjoy the show anymore, even when it's good. 'The Bells' is a good, solid hour of television, and while there are valid criticisms to be had, lobbing around 1s and 2s while screaming about how you want to kill D&D is not constructive.
Game of Thrones: The Dragon and the Wolf (2017)
Excellent finale
It's not as good as Season 6's, but this episode was far better than the previous one, which was disappointing. I won't pretend that the writing was 100% better, but it was satisfying, provided closure, did not feel rushed, but also made you feel excited for the next seasons with a great cliffhanger.
One thing that I really enjoyed were the conversations, which I felt were lacking from other episodes. Tyrion and Cersei, Jon and Theon, Jaime and Cersei etc.... The acting was fantastic. Also, this episode did manage to salvage some of the horrid Winterfell plot by giving a satisfying and well deserved death to Littlefinger. The reveal that Jon is the heir to the iron throne was also very well done. Despite the romance being rushed, the love scene between Jon and Daenerys felt natural. Finally, the end scene with the wall coming down was terrifying and provided and excellent cliffhanger for the final season.
Overall a satisfying end to a season I'm sure many will find controversial, and one of the best episodes of Thrones, in my mind. Tons of great stuff happened here that really set the stage for the final conflicts to come.
Game of Thrones: Beyond the Wall (2017)
Plenty of spectacle, but not enough to overshadow poor writing
A lot of people are quick to bash the show as soon as it makes a minor deviation from GRRM's material, and I have always been careful to keep an open mind in regards to the show, because I realize that I cannot expect the same quality of writing from television producers in a few months, when GRRM hasn't even been able to come to an actual conclusion to A Dance With Dragons in 6 years... I have enjoyed Season 7 up until now, but this episode had some pretty glaring problems that made it hard to overlook.
I'll start the the good. The special effects, music, production values and CGI were all very well done. Viserion's death was absolutely heart breaking, and there was some pretty good tension as well. The acting was also not bad. I was a big fan of Kit and Emilia's chemistry, and despite their romance feeling rushed, it does actually feel somewhat natural. I also enjoyed the banter between the various characters beyond the wall. The episode definitely delivered when it came to action and tension, and I was certainly entertained.
However, there were some troubling aspects to this episode as well. First of all, the writing certainly showed weakness here. The writing has obviously taken a hit since the show creators ran out of source material, but it's usually been decent at least, but here it felt quite poor. Far too many last minute heroics, characters travelling at outrageous speeds with supersonic ravens that can travel thousands of miles in a few hours, and the whole "catch a wight" plot feels very contrived and strange overall. The Winterfell plot is even worse, with needless drama created between Arya and Sansa because the writers do not know what to do with their characters. It's a waste of screen time. Benjen Stark's death was a waste as well. We are starting to see the issues with Season 7's faster pace, with the plot being driven by convenience and fan service rather than character motivation. This season should have been 10 episodes, because everything feels rushed.
However, even with the negatives the episode managed to be quite entertaining and the acting was quite good. But it could have been better. This episode certainly does not reach the quality of Hardhome or the Spoils of War. The gaping plot holes and rushed nature of the episode felt unnatural and weird, and while I certainly do not think it's the "worst episode ever", it definitely wasn't as good as it could have been.
Overall:
+ Great special effects - Poor pacing, mediocre writing in areas, and far too many deus ex machinas
7/10
Game of Thrones: The Lion and the Rose (2014)
A strong episode, with an ending that will shock, and possibly delight, quite a few show watchers
Game of Thrones' Season 4 is starting off remarkably strong, since the second episodes are usually the weakest, relying more on build up for the climaxes that will come later on in the season. But "The Lion and the Rose" ends with one of the most shocking moments in the series to date, and Season 4 is just getting started. MAJOR SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT.
As you might guess by the title, the main focus of "The Lion and the Rose" is the wedding of Joffrey and Margaery. The show does a fantastic job of showing just how obscenely decadent the wedding reception is, and Joffrey succeeds at being just as hateable as ever, including destroying one of the most valuable books in existence for his own amusement.
Episode 2 also brings us up to speed with Bran, Stannis and Theon's arcs. Theon, now nothing but a slave for Ramsay Bolton, is shown hobbling after his master, who is hunting down a young woman for his own amusement. Iwan Rheon does a fantastic job of showing us just how mad and sadistic Ramsay truly is, and the scenes at the Dreadfort are very well acted. Michael McElhatton returns from the Red Wedding with a new, plump wife and the scenes between him, Ramsay and Theon (or should we say Reek) bring out some of the most solid acting of the season so far. I didn't think it was possible for there to be a more insane family than the Freys or the Lannisters, but the Boltons seem to be vying for that title as well.
Bran and Stannis' arcs are somewhat boring, but at this point we're just being brought up to speed with where they are at this point. Bran's visions prove interesting, but his scenes are where the episode lacks the most.
The rest of the Lion and the Rose focuses on the royal wedding, which consists of about half the episode. The production values are fantastic, and you could really tell that a lot of money was spent on the wedding ceremony. There is some excellent exposition with several characters, who we haven't really seen interact with one another much. Pedro Pascal continues to impress with during his rather hostile conversation with Tywin and Cersei and Diana Rigg amuses with her sarcastic one liners. Natalie Dormer and Peter Dinklage are also quite strong in this episode, especially Dinklage, who we're all still secretly rooting for.
But Lena Heady and Jack Gleeson are the true stars of the episode. Jack Gleeson has one last hoorah as the sadistic and petulant boy king Joffrey, who effectively manages to offend almost all of his wedding guests. But our distaste for Joffrey quickly turns to joy when we realize that his wine has been poisoned, and what follows is easily one of the more grotesque death scenes in the series. I must commend the makeup department for the spectacular job they did, because Joffrey's face looked truly horrifying as he died. It almost made me feel sorry for him, almost. And Lena Heady is spectacular, showing a fantastic combination of anger and sadness as her eldest son dies in her arms.
The episode closes with Cersei screaming at her guards in anger, ordering them to seize Tyrion, who she believes poisoned Joffrey. The final shot is of Joffrey's grey, lifeless face, with blood and vomit trickling down the sides, and a cold cut to black with Sigur Ros' cover of the "Rains of Castamere" playing. A great parallel to the Red Wedding, and one of Game of Thrones' most solid episodes. 10/10