Reviews
The Transformers: The Movie (1986)
The ULTIMATE movie
This is the greatest movie in the history of filmmaking. If you check my other reviews, most of them are negative. However I'm not some snotty critic (who would want to be that). It doesn't take a lot for me to be happy with a movie.As long as it is well built, has a structure, and keeps me excited and entertained the whole time. A series of explosions with no storyline can get boring, but when it is built around interesting characters and the ultimate soundtrack, you've got something.
I have heard many negative comments about this ULTIMATE movie. First people say you have to be a long time fan to enjoy it. FOOLISH! Such an ultimate movie can be enjoyed by anyone! Of course us older guys remember the great cartoon, but once some young kids came over for a family gathering and LOVED the movie. They had no idea who Optimus Prime was, but came out of their seats when he launched himself into the sky destroying all who dare to attack his people and stand in his path! They were shocked just as many of us were when Prowl was shot down. Transformers the movie is a movie of the ages. It shouldn't get an Oscar. An Oscar is not worthy to be placed with such greatness. Long before Julia Roberts was famous, and long after she leaves fame, Transformers will have ALWAYS be loved and cherished by it's millions of fans around the world. Can a movie like Erin Brockovich do that? NO.
Another foolish complaint, in my opinion, is the hard rock soundtrack. This is the GREATEST soundtrack of ALL TIME! Every single song on the disc is a masterpiece that brings tears to one's eye due to it's greatness. Outdated? What do you want, the music from the cartoon series? That's even more outdated! What did you want, the New Kids on the Block to sing the songs? They sound more like the "new material" from the kid bands that dominate the airwaves today. To complain about the greatest soundtrack of all time is to look at gold and say it's too shiny. Please think about what you are doing.
This movie is one for the ages. It can be appreciated by everyone, except maybe some snotty newspaper writers. Do you remember watching your parent's old favorite movies and saying "this looks so old"? They would then reply that it's a classic and perhaps name all the awards it has won. Did that increase your enjoyment of the grainy oldness? No. Transformers the movie came out in 1985/1986. Years from now people, especially younger people, won't give a darn about most of those old, out-of-date movies that won awards in 1985/1986. They might as well be Teen Wolf. But they WILL care for Transformers, because it is the ultimate movie. Show a 20 year old guy Transformers and he will cheer. Show a 10 year old kid the movie for the first time and he will cheer. Show an old man the film and he will fall asleep. But that's just because he is tired. He does that with every movie. And Transformers is the ULIMATE movie!
Chin wong ji wong 2000 (1999)
TERRIBLE!
I got this movie after watching the great Shaolin Soccer. I wanted more of the same kind of entertainment. This movie was very disappointing. It seems to happen a lot with me in terms of Hong Kong movies; I run into a great one, then when I look into the other movies the star and/or director made, 90% of them suck.
The movie starts off getting me excited, with Stephen Chow in a prison. Then it goes to this other guy for the next ten or so minutes straight and RUINS the entire experience. Its the kind of movie you start watching leaning forward, but soon have your hand on your chin in boredom. This is about 1% of the entertainment value of Shaolin Soccer. This other guy, Nick something, has no talent and has no ability to entertain. I think he's pretty popular over in Asia, but outside the area and all the hype, where we just see him as an actor, it is easy to tell how much he sucks.
What's the matter with the script. It just cuts back and forth from random scene to random scene, and all of it is boring! If you want to make a random style movie, it can be extremely funny if done correctly. This was not. IT IS BORING. Why do many Asian films think they can do the same joke over and over for decades? Like the man running on the beach in slo-mo, Baywatch style. It was funny a million years ago when it was still new.
Daai laap mat taam Ling Ling Fat (1996)
Starts out funny, but gets lame
This movie started out with so much potential, but like a lot of Stephen Chow movies, the second half goes crazy and becomes TOO MUCH of a cartoon.
**Possible minor spoilers**
The beginning of the movie is funny. We are introduced to Chow's character, Fat, who enjoys inventing things. Unfortunately his fellow Forbidden City Cops, and the emperor, value martial arts more, so it seems like he is not needed. We are then introduced to his wife, who is very likable. Following this is a fight scene where all the Forbidden City Cops, with the exception of Fat, are ambushed and destroyed in the woods. This is a great scene full of action and humor. Up until THIS POINT the movie is great! It strikes a good balance between believability and random humor.
Here's where the movie starts to SUCK. I'm not a professional movie critic so I probably cannot point out all the exact reasons why, but it's obvious that the movie becomes TOO far-fetched and random. The believability is thrown completely out the window and the whole show becomes too much like a bad cartoon. The emperor, who was taken when the Forbidden City Cops were ambushed, is dressed in an alien suit, and almost gets an autopsy by Fat. It may sound a little funny, but it's done in a very stupid and cheesy way, and doesn't match the level of realism in the first half (I know it's a comedy, but I would think you have to maintain a stable level of realism and not just change halfway through the movie).
Then Fat uses some of the inventions we were introduced to in the superior first half do defeat the enemies. All this is done in the most stupid and cheesy way possible. He uses staff shaped like a propeller to fly by spinning it around in his hands! Then he sticks a gun like object in his mouth to shoot down all the enemies! All this is done in that ugly blue light Hong Kong movies use so much. The scene is totally stupid, and what more, all the enemies seem destroyed! Shouldn't the movie finally be done?
Nope. Seems only 56 or so minutes have passed to they need to add more movie. What follows is an idiotic storyline about how the emporer gets Fat to go look for a good looking prostitute because all his concubines are fat (yes there is a scene with a lot of fat women running at the screen). It's just all totally stupid from here. I'm done with this review. The first half was so good, too.
San ying hung boon sik (1994)
Not worthy of Better Tomorrow name
I didn't expect it to have anything to do with the first three movies. I didn't expect the action or the stars to be as powerful. All I wanted was a solid, fun action movie. I didn't even get that! Instead I get another throwaway stupid movie that makes you turn off the DVD player about 20 min. into it.
The "cool" factor is gone. All you have are the typical blue lights symbolizing nighttime and a bunch of guys walking in slo-mo WITHOUT looking cool. Ugh, I usually write reviews longer than this but you get the idea. The typical blurry, fast-forward-punches, blue-lights as nighttime crap everyone ignores....except this has the "Better Tomorrow" name on it! John Woo should make another one in the series just so this cannot be the last one.