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Subspecies (1991)
Just okay
First off, I'm a big horror fan and always interested in a new twist on the classic monsters, so when I saw a lot of reviews praising how this handled vampires I was hooked. And while I'll say, yes this movie does add some components to the lore/tells its own story, it does not mean it is instantly a good movie.
IMO this movie is just okay. I will say the main villain Radu looks very creepy particularly with his grotesquely long fingers. And the bloodstone made from the blood of the saints being used to infinitely nourish vampires so they don't have to feed on Man was also a nice touch. But beyond this and a few other plot points, there really isn't anything special about this movie. The acting is subpar. The music is too loud where at times it's difficult to hear what people with thick accents are saying so I recommend having subtitles on. The movie is very slow with almost no action or scares. I really wouldn't call this a horror film but more of drama where the two main characters are brothers who are polar opposites but also happen to be vampires.
Don't get me wrong, I can certainty see why this movie has a cult following and spawned a series of other films for those invested in the story, but for most people I think they will frankly be bored by this film.
Hellarious (2019)
Pretty bad
I was expecting more laughs out of this, but unless really stupid ridiculous scenarios are your type of humor, you aren't gonna laugh much. Obviously none of the shorts are meant to be taken seriously. They just come up with a random premise like what if a shopping cart ate people then just see where that level of absurdity takes them. Occasionally they did get a single "Ha!" Out of me when something dumb happened or said, but for the most part is just rolled my eyes as the scenes played out. The only scenario that I full on laughed at and truthfully enjoyed was the satanic guitar. All the mayhem it caused was over the top ridiculous and then some but man was it funny. But after that, it pretty much went down hill. I will say the acting is surprisingly good for a project like this. Everyone seems to take their roles seriously despite how absurd the whole thing is. Even the dog gave a commendable performance.
Do Not Reply (2019)
Ripoff of a book
The plot of this movie is stolen from a book called the Cellar by Natasha Preston. While the intro is different, the rest of the movie follows the book almost identically except with some changes. Basic plot is the same: girl gets abducted and forced to play House for a creep. She is trapped with other girls who all wear matching outfits (in the movie's case, cheerleading outfits) and is forced to go by a new name. The first girl abducted acts as a mentor teaching the protagonist all rules she must follow such as keeping the house spotless and how to prepare meals, while constantly trying to get her to accept her fate as forever trapped and just go along with it less she make life hard for both herself and the other girls.
I read the Cellar over the summer so the book is fresh in my mind. On its own, I would've given this movie more stars, but the fact this is a blatant rip off and nobody is acknowledging it is downright criminal. And to be Frank, I wasn't a fan of the book, but this is not right.
Kidô senshi Gandamu: Fukushû no Requiem (2024)
Mixed Feelings
Honestly I don't know how I feel about this series. It's not bad, but it's definitely an interesting take. First off the animation: at times it looks really good. Personally I don't mind th video game like cutscenes with much more modern CG. The gore and explosions look amazing. But the faces is where we run into the uncanny valley problem. At times the characters look decent, particularly from side angle shots. But full on the characters suddenly look almost claymation like. It's hard to explain what exactly is going on but it is noticeable.
As for the story itself, we only get 6 episodes 20 minutes long so there really isn't much there. You may come to like the Captain aka the main character but beyond that, everyone else is more or less forgettable because they don't get much screen time. For casual fans who don't know much about Gundam, you may like this show for fast paced action done with decent animation/effects. But for those enough who know who the Principality of Zeon are... yeah this is definitely an "interesting" direction.
I'm not opposed to the idea of following their side of the story for a season or show specific to them if it is done well and acknowledges who they are. Frankly I thought it was very cool to see them retreating only to relentlessly get stalked by the titular Gundam. From their point of view it's got to be absolutely terrifying constantly hunted and bested by an unstoppable mobile suit who the audience knows is drenched in plot armor (because they are the main character of the franchise). In this regards, I really liked this idea. But where this falls apart is the show fails to really acknowledge the Zeon are the bad guys. They are quite literally spacenazis. They legit invade other territories, commit mass genocide, use biological weapons to wipe out civilian populations, when they run out of resources they then invade earth and wipe out half the population, yes literal billions of people, and yet this show wants us to then pretend they are good guys or at the very least the "victims" in a terrible war they started.
I'm sorry that part I can't just get behind. Does that mean every single individual soldier in Zeon or any army for that matter is pure evil? No. But let's not whitewash an army that commits constant war crimes and genocide. There's a line during one episode where the main character cries for the Gundam to stop attacking them because no one else has to die and just want to go home. Girl your army invaded Earth, wiped out half the population, stripped it of resources and made life so terrible for those who remain that literal children are conscripted into the army just so they can get food to survive. And you think you guys deserve mercy. So yall good decimating half of earth but when it's just your squad left, now you suddenly say there's been too much death smh.
This is why this trend of trying to humanize literal evil needs to stop. The people won't buy it and frankly it sends the wrong message. Had the show instead actually made a half way attempt at acknowledging Zeon are evil and kept the premise of a squad being relentlessly hunted down by the Gundam with an almost horror tone, it would've been great. But with the mixed messaging and other flaws this show safely sits at a 5. Neither good or bad, just different.
Girlhouse (2014)
Exceeded My Expectations
At first glance, the brief plot summary may be enough to put many off from seeing this Indy slasher, but don't skip it. It takes itself surprisingly seriously and also really does a great job creating a terrifying villain. Sure he's just an average guy in a mask, but man is he creepy. Despite speaking very few lines, Slaine does a great job both coming off as the creepy basement dwelling obsessed fan as well as a menacing monster.
The mask he wears really hits the uncanny valley hard adding to the creep factor, but what really did it for me is the way he runs. Our villain is both big/bulky but also fast, and you can tell the actor actually sprints. Usually in slashers the villains either walk or maybe jog, but this guy just sprints full speed and it's just unsettling seeing this giant lumbering man come at you that fast.
The movie is also very gory, and the gore is done very well which is rare to find in an Indy movie. It's enough to make it real but not so much you'll be turned off, like say the Terrifier. And this ties back to what I said earlier in that this movie takes itself very seriously. The plot and dialogue is believable enough with decent performances from all the actresses. Nothing feels phoned in, there's no corny dialogue, and they avoid a lot the dumb cliche tropes too many horror movies use. It also integrates the webcams well where they give different perspectives adding to both the tension and gore, but not so overdone that it loses the effect like in a found footage film.
If you're looking for a decent slasher or a surprisingly well done Indy horror, give this a watch.
The Last House on the Left (1972)
A Huge Letdown
I have always heard this movie is one of the "classics" especially in exploration horror so I finally gave it watch. Man what a disappointment. As far as nudity goes, there's barely any. As far as the rape scenes, there really aren't any as everything is off camera and implied, plus the girls just moan like regular sex.
But that aside, the movie is just super corny. The music especially is over loud and beyond silly. Meanwhile there are cutaway shots where the girls are "forced on" while the parents enjoy themselves and fool around. The dialogue and acting ranges from passable to awful. I am almost convinced this movie is a comedy just how wacky it is, especially given how dumb the cops are. Maybe this movie was "scary" back then but by today's standards it could almost pass for PG-13 bad comedy.
The Woman (2011)
Awesome Dad
Man this movie made me root for the dad. It's so nice to see a movie where there is a strong father who is clearly the head of the household and respected as such. Too many movies and shows these days love to portray soft bafoonish fathers, or just no fathers at all. The father here is an awesome authority figure and portrayed very well by the actor.
As for the rest of the movie...eh. It's very slow. It's not until an hour in when you finally realize what's really going on, and then it still takes it time until final 20ish minutes where it just goes full throttle to the end. And sadly the rest of the cast ranges from alright to mediocre. The daughter is supposed to be the "real victim" in all of this but she is so mopey and whiny I just couldn't stand her not cared about her story. I was just too focused on the Dad being an all around BA.
Oh and yes, the music is ATROCIOUS. To the point it's comically so, especially at the end. Was this movie scary? No. Was it twisted? Maybe for some. Was it ridiculous and at times hilarious, definitely. But dang did I love a movie having the guts to have a strong father in the household.
The Funhouse Massacre (2015)
Fun, Silly, Gory
I'm surprised this has so many negative reviews, I had an absolute blast with this movie. I'm not going to pretend it's Oscar worthy, but IMO it was a very enjoyable horror slasher. I love the concept of the insane asylum inmates escaping and setting up a haunted house to lure victims in. The serial killers themselves were all equally unique and terrifying, be it the charismatic cult leader or the insane dentist or the giant wrestler that breaks everyone's backs with wrestling moves. I also enjoyed a lot of the campy, almost self aware characters. I'll admit the cops did get pretty annoying at times. They were intentionally meant to be dumb which adds to the humor but it does get old after a bit.
If you like gory fun-bad movies with actually creative villains and kills and a dash of humor/absurdity thrown in, give this a watch. But if you're looking for your traditional very serious horror movie then look elsewhere.
Open 24 Hours (2018)
Alright Indy Horror
This movie is okay, not great. It has a unique story despite just being set in the same gas station the entire time. Unfortunately the movie takes a very long time to tell this story which may lose some of the audience, because to be Frank it is very boring for the first half hour or so. However once the revelation is revealed how the main character came into her current predicament (I won't spoil anything) as well as that she is mentally unstable/suffers from paranoid delusions, the movie takes an interesting turn. Again while slow, it does a decent job of telling its story and making the viewer wonder what is really going.
However the movie is far from perfect. The acting ranges from good to passable, and the characters act downright stupid at times. I ended up laughing at some scenes just because of how ridiculous the set ups were. In fact there were several times the main character could've flat out called for help or gotten out of her current situation but then abruptly decides not to for the sake of the story progressing. That being said, the movie does get kind of dark at times and there is a fair amount of violence/brutal killings.
Overall good for Indy horror but otherwise mid movie.
Killer Cakes (2024)
Great Concept, Okay execution
If you love baking shows/cake competitions on food network or TLC and love Halloween/scary movies give this a watch. Is it perfect or as good as the big name shows out there? No. But it is unique and the cakes they make really are pretty dang cool.
I'm a horror fan and I love these type of shows on food network so this show is right my ally, but I still had a hard time getting into it. For starters, there really isn't much chemistry between the crew, especially with the horror effects experts that help the teams make their cakes. You could also tell they were reading scripts/cue cards at times which made some of the delivery really cringe. Also the show just feels too long. It seems like this was originally made for cable for an hour slot with a lot of ad breaks, but on Amazon 47 minutes is just too long. It should've been a crisp half hour max.
Now for the pros. Matthew Lillard hosts and he is 100% his usual self. He carries the same 80s/90s dude vibe energy from his movies so if you're a fan of his, you'll enjoy him being in character. If you aren't a fan or never heard of him, you may find it odd a 50 year old man sounds like a stoner. Danielle Harris was also a nice welcome as a judge. I liked her portrayal in various horror flicks be it when she first started in Halloween 4 or as the lead in the Hatchet movies. She makes a few references to the various films she's worked on when judging the cakes that helps make the show feel like an homage to horror fans. The other judge was also decent, but I'm not familiar with him so I can't really comment beyond he had some good critiques.
As for the cakes themselves: wow. The special effects these people create with cakes is just mind blowing. And some of the cakes just look downright nasty haha. If you don't care for how they make the cakes or what the contestants various back stories are, just fast forward past the first ad break and watch the final 15-20 minutes where they show off the cakes. They are truly amazing. It really is a shame there are only 2 episodes because I would've loved to have seen more themes done beyond just slasher/gore and paranormal.
V/H/S Viral (2014)
Gets Worse The More It Drags On
I figured I'd give this a chance as I'm a fan of the previous VHS films. The reviews are right, this is a big departure from the previous installments. For starters, it's not all found footage shot from a single camera per story. There a lot of cuts throughout which ruins the fun of the unique cinematography found in the previous films. The stories are also very long. Instead of many 10ish minute stories we get 3 main stories each 20+ minutes in length, and you can really feel the added time as each one drags on. Finally the main story arc isn't tied to finding a bunch of random VHS's containing the short stories but instead involves a guy filming on his iPhone trying to go viral with the stories randomly interspersed for no reason. And the story itself is neither scary nor interesting. Instead it's painful boring to downright cringe at times.
That being said, I did not mind the first story of the illusionist with the magic cape. The story was cool and I liked the idea of a fake documentary, however I think this would've been more effective as its own stand alone horror movie not tied to VHS since its not found footage but again a fake documentary including random interviews and "experts" testimony. From there though, the stories get worse.
2nd story was mostly good until the end. The idea of exploring a parallel dimension via two doppelgängers swapping universes for 15 minutes and filming it on their respective camcorders is good and fits the VHS theme. However the story is very slow. This could've easily been told in less than 10 minutes instead of the very padded 20 minutes.
The final story is by far the worst in the franchise period. Bunch pot smoking annoying teens played by horrible actors go skateboarding with half the story being their GoPros closeups of their face at bad angles (you can see up one kids nose every time) while they talk smack to everyone and everything around them. And this story was the longest out of the 3. This story alone does the most damage to the overall movie. I would've been generous and given this a 6 until this skateboarding nightmare, now I'm convinced this deserves a 3.
Aquaslash (2019)
Missed Opportunity
The idea of a slasher taking place at a water park could've been a lot of fun for slasher fans. Sure there was no way this was ever going to be an Oscar winner, but that kind of premise sets up the hope for a lot unique kills and funny/cheesy moments with everyone in bikinis. The perfect recipe for a good slasher.
Sadly tho this film drops the ball big time. The movie is 1 hour 16 minutes long and yet zero kills happen until the final 20 minutes. Which means the audience are forced to slog through 55 minutes of drama between characters nobody cares about. And when the deaths do finally happen, it's only one specific slide and one specific trap. No crazy stalker, no rigging the whole park to be a nightmare. This was just an all around lazy movie.
The Maze (2010)
Awful Movie
I really wanted to give this movie a chance, but wow what a snooze fest. The acting ranges from passable to downright right bad. The dialogue is even worse. What is it with movies trying to make their final girl seem tough but only succeeding at having her come off as a stuck up witch? Perhaps the worst part is when you think the movies over, it drags on for another half hour. The movie honestly spends more time focusing on the cops in the police station than the killer hunting people in a maze. The only good thing going for the movie is a unique twist at the end, but it takes so long to get there and requires a lot of dumb decisions/plot conveniences in the final 10 minutes to make it happen that it does nothing to save this horrible movie.
Fear PHarm (2020)
Could've Been So Much Better
This movie is a mixed back. Right off the bat you'll realize its chief flaws are the horrible acting, anwful characters, and the even worse dialogue. However if you can get past that (and yes I know it isn't easy), there is actually the making of a semi-decent slasher.
For starters the basic premise is great: teens lost in a corn maze getting hunted down one by one. Honestly I'm surprised more horror movies haven't used this setting. The movie also does a decent enough job of eliminating cellphones without having to rely on the cliche of "no service" and it also comes up with a plausible pitch for why the group splits up. Yes they are still dumb for splitting up but at least there is some logic instead of splitting the group up for the sake of the trope. The villains in the various costumes look great, especially the guys dressed like a creepy scarecrow. And the big reveal for why the villains are doing what they are doing and why they specifically targeted these particular teens is at least unique (I won't spoil it). Is it silly? Of course. Does it raise a lot of questions to the viewer that really makes less and less sense the more you think about it? You bet. But at least it's original and the ridiculousness lends a bit of campiness that makes slashers charming.
If only the characters weren't so gawdawful with the most absolutely cringe lines. At times it can be a little cheeky/so bad it's good, at other times it's just a downright turn off. For some reason this movie really has to hammer home all men are dumb/sexist/toxic to the point one of the villains literally says something to this effect while having to remind the audience over and over that she's so smart and accomplished. Just why? She's already killing people, do we really need a random lecture that she hates men and went to college? And our heroine/final girl is just as bad, trying to come off as some loner tough girl who just always acts like she has a stick up her bum. I really can't tell if she's supposed to be sarcastic or "edgy"but she comes off very rude and acts like everything and everyone is a waste of her time, even tho it's her idea to go to the corn maze in the first place. Her and the villain chick are like two sides of the same horribly-written-characters coin, which makes it really hard to root for her survival. And don't take me the wrong way, the male characters are also written pretty terribly, but they at least have redeeming final moments. The annoying brother who starred in some video and now thinks he's a famous actor At least has a hilarious death in the so bad it's good kind of way. Meanwhile the jock starts off super annoying and can't act, but at least he proves to be loyal and gets an undeserved lecture before his very painful death. Buddy legit died of cringe. Let's poor one out fellas.
Zon 100: Zonbi ni naru made ni shitai 100 no koto (2023)
Great Live Action Adaptation
I really don't understand the hate this movie is getting. It's one thing you've never seen the anime or read the manga before, but it looks like a lot of the haters are fans of the original medium. Personally I think this does a really decent job of transitioning the anime (also on Netflix) into a live format. Obviously it has to cut out some stuff to fit the 2 hour run time, but the bulk and same message of make the most of your life not just your job is still here.
Some critiques I just don't get from the so called fans. They say it's too long, despite the anime being 12 half hour episodes, so they can handle binging 6 hours of anime but not 2 hours of a movie??? They also complain about the shark with legs, but that was in the anime and the manga so... why didn't y'all complain then?
Overall it's a decent adaptation. The zombies look suitably scary and gory, the nudity was a nice touch, I think the actors looked like their anime counterparts pretty well, the action scenes were well done, and the overall pacing was decent enough. Any fan of the anime will clearly recognize key scenes from the show, although they did sandwich together some of the later episodes into a specific scene probably to save on time. That I could understand people griping over, albeit it is minor. They also cut out content from the final 3 episodes where the main character returns to his home village. Personally I didn't mind this omission as I felt it was a weaker part of the show, but I can understand fans being upset this was cut.
One thing I did like was there a bigger emphasis on using sound to distract the zombies, with a few scenes really taking advantage of this weakness. One scene in particular involving two megaphones was great and I actually wish they had included this in the original anime. My only big criticism was that it was weird not seeing Beatrix in the movie, as she is a prominent character during the 2nd half of the show but is completely absent in this movie.
Terminator Zero (2024)
I wanted to like this
First and foremost, I am a big terminator fan. I loved the franchise ever since I saw the very first movie as a little kid. 2nd, I had high hopes for this because a Terminator Anime if done right could be very good. But sadly it's Netflix which is very hit or miss, and this project was clearly a miss.
On the plus side, the show is very gory. With anime one would hope they could get away with a lot more gruesome scenes and awesome action while delivering a dark tone. And at times this show does succeed in this area. But the rest of the show is just... mid. I don't hate it, but I don't like it either.
IMO none of the characters are likeable which is a big problem for any show. The main action girl is just neutral, the father is a jerk and the assistant is very weak, while the kids are annoying. No one really captures the energy that Sarah and John Connor had in the movies. If you don't like any of the characters, then why should we care about them? To make things worse, the action is very hit or miss. At times it can be very violent and gory which is perfect for the Terminator. However in the same scenes, a main character who is a human will easily kick or punch a Terminator and either knock it off of them or outright stun it. That makes zero sense. The thing can withstand bullets and falling off 10 stories, but a slap from a girl shoos it away? Smh just no.
Then there's the plot and it's a mess. Again I had very high hopes for this, and with it being set in the 90s I hoped this would be great. But alas it will confuse any long time fans with all its plotholes and shortcomings. For instance, we learn in the first episode that the dad is designing the AI for Skynet. The AI flat out says humanity needs to die because all they do is wage war (cliche and not subtle...) and instead of pulling the plug on the project, the dad just goes "nah it'll be fine I'm sure it doesn't mean it" and keeps working on the project because "this will save humanity from themselves" despite the AI literally telling him it wants to wipe us out. Furthermore the dad/lead scientist knows all about Judgement Day because of his dreams/visions of the future. Please someone make it make sense?
It would've been one thing if maybe he found a partial recording from Sarah Connor telling Dyson in T2 about Judgement Day and what would happen, so this scientist creates Skynet to ward off global mass destruction without realizing the rest of the recording said Skynet was the one responsible. But nope, dude has a bad dream and thus Skynet is born. And bear in mind, all of this is flat out stated in the first episode. Whatever happened to show don't tell?
But I guess this is what Terminator has become after so many flopped movies. The canon has been altered and rebooted so many times despite the T2 directors cut being the definitive edition, that I'm sure this is some new "multiverse" alternate timeline thing. If you've never seen the original movies then im sure you'll enjoy the action and gratuitous violence since you have no idea what the story's supposed to be. But if your fan, just skip it. Is it the worst thing out there? No. But it's not good either and I ended up trying to force myself to find the good in an otherwise mediocre show simply because I really wanted this to be good.
Batman: Caped Crusader (2024)
Skip the first episode
I'll be honest, I was turned off by the first episode. You walk right into it and see a lot of characters have been changed from their traditional comic appearances to appeal to "modern audiences." Penguin in particular is just bad as some angry convincing mother. BUT the next episode absolutely nailed ClayFace with plenty of homages to the early 30s and 40s Universal Horror movies who the character is based off of that I decided to stick with it. The show as a whole copies the artistic style of the 90s Batman: The Animated Series which is considered by many to be the best Batman show of all time. This show mimics its Noir elements while also ramping up the age rating, giving us more gore, more horror, more "adult" themes, and the occasional swearing. However the show isn't without its flaws, because it's beyond obvious the creators had to make it more diverse so it would appeal to "modern audiences".
When this show misses, it's a strike out. Penguin is hands down the worst change. Bullock is also bad as an accomplish to the corrupt Flash. In the original show, he didn't trust Batman, but at least he was a honest cop. However when the show hits a home run, it's absolutely out of the park. There are so many Easter eggs and call backs to the various comics and what influenced the various Batman characters/arcs I couldn't help but appreciate the show has a hard core fan. For instance, Catwoman's costume is very much a callback to her golden Age outfit while her iconic claw marks scar is a reference to her Year One trademark. Firefly likewise they nail his psychological disturbance with fire (who imo is a very utilized villain) where once he sees a flame, he HAS to make it grow. Harley Quin, yeah they "change" her appearance (cough cough) but they actually do her psychologist profile justice much like her original appearance in the Animated Series, and no she is nothing like the MAX show depiction.
Is the show perfect? No. Am I happy they "updated it for modern audiences?" Also no. However that does not mean you should instantly write it off as a bad show. Skip the 1st episode and you will see the creators at least tried to make it a love letter to the existing Batman Media from across the decades.
Batman: Caped Crusader: ...And Be a Villain (2024)
The Perfect Homage
I'll admit I did not like the first episode. But this episode perfectly nails ClayFace. Wow what a love letter to the character's origin and inspiration. For those who don't know, ClayFace aka Basil Karlo was based off the then famous horror actor Boris Karloff who played the original Frankenstein and Mummy. This episode very much captures the horror essence.
For starters, Basil looks very similar to what Boris Karloff looked like. He is also type cast as "just a horror actor because he didn't have the face for mainstream" which A) was a problem with Basil Karlo in the comics and B) was originally a hindrance for Karloff's career before he finally transitioned out of horror. Furthermore because it is age rated at TV-14 it ramps up the creepiness more of Clayface/the horror. And finally, it drops tons of original horror Easter eggs like calling Karlo the man with 1000 faces (since he's a horror actor in tons of makeup/prosthetics) which was the nickname of Lon Chaney, the most famous horror actor prior to Karloff. Furthermore, Basil wears a mask and appears deformed when in disguise much like original Phantom of the Opera and Mr. Hyde, both originally played by Lon Chaney. Meanwhile Karlo's makeup guy Jack is a spitting image of Jack Pierce, the famous horror makeup artist who worked with Boris Karloff to create the look and costume of the Mummy, Frankenstein, as well as the WolfMan and many other creatures from that era.
The episode plot is very much a true detective fashion that plays out like the silver age of ClayFace where the actor Basil Karlo fakes his death to twart suspicion of the murders he commits and Batman must uncover the truth that Basil is behind the murders.
I was ready to write off this show, but this episode has renewed my hope.
Lake Mungo (2008)
Strong start, weak finish
The horror film tries to pass itself off as a real documentary, and for the most part it succeeds.
The footage is convincing and the interviews, although a very neutral tone, don't feel forced. I will say I think the parents could've put in a little more emotion, but for the most part it does seem convincing enough. What also helps is all the real actors/practical effects. This is before the era of cheap cgi which also helps sell the realism, even if it is filmed on very grainy 2005 cameras. Something about seeing things recorded on dark, very grainy/outdated videography really adds to the creep factor in some scenes.
The movie starts off strong bringing viewers into what they think is a typical "haunting" movie, only to be taken through a roller coaster of twists that constantly make the audience reassess if the hauntings are real or some cruel prank. Again I think this also helps sell the film as a real documentary, much like true crime ones, where first you think this is the situation/suspect etc only for a wrench to get thrown in and debunk everything, forcing the investigators and audience back at square one.
Unfortunately during the final 3rd of the film, it takes a really sharp turn that just gets more and more bizarre which I felt weakened what was otherwise a good movie. I won't spoil the twist or ending, but it felt like the screenwriters gave up on the horror aspect and instead wanted to put in their own message of parents don't really know their kids as well as they think they do. I could see some people liking this, but to me it was just weird, especially with the final scenes/discovery that leads up to this. It goes from a mostly believable horror doc to just the absurd. And now I'm left with feeling disappointed as if I wasted my time.
A for effort
B- to C+ for the story
D for the ending.
How to Rob a Bank (2024)
Makes You Root For The Robbers
I really enjoyed this documentary. It's not often a documentary directly recruits the perpetrators to explain their side of the story, and it's even rarer where you end up routing for the bad guys. What's unique about this doc is that it really explains how these group of bank robbers were not hardened criminals but rather an eclectic group of educated misfits, and used their smarts to, well, outsmart the banks and the cops and eventually FBI for so long.
What's also nice is that this doc is very honest. The cops made mistakes. They aren't perfect and they aren't exactly Americas brightest (only need a high school degree and a few weeks of training to be a cop). They also got very trigger happy in the end. These robbers were yes, robbers. But they never hurt anyone. They never shot anyone. Never hit them, never took hostages etc. However the police and by extension the feds really wanted to scare the banks/public into thinking Hollywood was this violent unhinged monster just waiting to snap in the hopes they would get tips coming in as to who these guys were, when all evidence contradicted this notion. They end up having a shoot out against guys with jammed guns, lying that they shot first. You can't fire an unloaded or jammed weapon... so how could they "shoot first". Then the story changed to, "we saw them carrying a rifle in the van's rear window" despite them clearly stating numerous times the windows we blacked out and you could not look through any of the windows except the front windshield...
Then when one of the robbers offs themselves, the police then fire 76 freaking rounds into the corpse. Absolutely disgusting. What isn't stated in this documentary (but stated in other videos, look it up) is that a by standard got hit from the police reckless, excessive rounds.
Great documentary. Definitely very cool to learn how these guys planned their heists and strategized to evade the police for long.
Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park (2016)
Great 1st season, okay 2nd one
This spinoff takes the boys out of the park and into unfamiliar territory while they complete tasks for Swearnet in the hopes of winning cash. The first season sent them all across Europe as they struggled to just feed themselves. Personally I thought it was hilarious as the boys were clearly out of their element and the tasks were increasingly ridiculous. Even something as basic as the boys not speaking the native languages was funny because that meant anything was bound to happen. Ricky's humor by far shines here as he's in the territory of endless legal dope yet as no money to score some. Julian however imo dragged down the season. He didn't do any of the tasks and just wanted to sit and drink the whole time in the background. Usually he's the chief leader and optimistic, so it killed the fun with him taking the backseat and whining the whole time. Meanwhile I felt pretty bad for Bubbles. The other 2 kind of screwed him over while he did a lot of the work on the various tasks.
Contrast this with season 2 which made a lot of changes. It's obvious the shows creators heard the fans feedback and tweaked accordingly, and yet this season just comes off weaker. They removed the annoying swearnet host which is great, but the ironic downside is now you almost forget the boys are doing the tasks to compete for money since there's no one to guide them/egg them on. They gave Bubbles a bigger arc however now he comes off really selfish right from the start. And it is not a good luck on him. Whereas the audience could easily sympathize for him in season 1, in season 2 he's frankly a jerk that ruins it for Ricky and Julian. The show quickly becomes all about Bubbles and his dreams instead of doing swearnet tasks to make the boys money. He also drops the ball on a lot of task which turns the audience against him. Honestly it made me wonder why they even bothered doing the tasks if the whole focus quickly turned into Bubbles trying to go to outer space or become a country music singer. I'd Julian thankfully has more of a roll instead of just whining in the background.
While it was cool seeing the boys in the USA, it just didn't have the same humor as the first season. Again a bit of the humor was the boys being totally confused by the food, customs, and foreign languages of Europe. Here that's gone since everyone speaks English, eats the same food, knows the same celebs etc. This season is also oddly censored. Nudity is blurred which it's whatever but it just seemed weird that Netflix is in charge of both seasons and was fine with full frontal in your face nudity in season 1 but then blurs it in 2. The overall tone too also just felt more censored. Less sex stuff, less focus on drugs other than one specific scenario, even the tasks are not as racy or extreme. They're definitely more fun, but in a way that anyone would want to do them and not like season 1 where it was almost like fear factor with the raw shock value of omg I can't believe they actually did that?!?!. There's still plenty of swearing, but beyond that this season felt very PG13.
Overall tho, out of the park is definitely a funny twist for the boys with good humor and scenarios. I just wish they didn't tone down season 2 as much.
Sous la Seine (2024)
More Girl Boss Cringe
I sat down to watch this movie fully expecting it to be bad. Cheesy, maybe funny, hopefully wacky yet enjoyable premise, but bad nonetheless. However I did not expect it to be this ludicrous. From the get go, the movie lets us know men are dumb and women are the only competent ones.
The entire male diving team who are not bleeding/perfectly healthy get wiped out by a single shark in the span of 45 seconds... but the female captain jumps in the water with no diving gear, gets pulled down by the shark for hundreds of feet below the water again with no scuba mask/tank as she full on screams underwater, has her nasal cavity and ear dumbs burst from the deep pressure causing her to bleed profusely, yet she can swim right back up with zero air and a lot of bleeding with shark just leaving her alone because the plot demands it. And This is all just in the 1st 10 minutes. It only gets worse from here.
Unfrosted (2024)
Disappointing
I think everyone was expecting a lot more from this movie. It's poptarts, it's big names in comedy, and it's notwoke/pushing a message. But sadly it's just not funny either. The comedy is too many puns and too on the nose. And it's very much a Jerry Seinfeld routine: don't get me wrong, I enjoy his comedy and loved his show (which is also on Netflix). However this is just meant to be in a movie. I laughed (or rather said "Ha") the first few jokes and then like a open box of cereal, the comedy quickly got stale. After the first 5 minutes, you've seen pretty much what is to come, pun after pun mixed parodying Kellogg's/popular name brand cereals. It isn't worth the hour and a half your life.
Ocean's Twelve (2004)
A Mixed Bag
Ocean's 12 is a rather disappointing sequel. It's not a bad movie, but it is not a great one either, certainly nowhere as good as Ocean's 11. To be Frank, it is a mess. Whereas 11 had a great pacing, seemed very classy and made the heist fun, 12 has a plot that is very jumbled rushed while trying too hard to both serve as a sequel while also standing out uniquely on its own.
But worst of all, the movie is just tried to do too many things in one movie which makes the film confusing, lose its pacing, and downright silly at times. There's the basic premise of Dominic collecting, then there's their heist to get the funds, then there's also the Night Fox who's working against them, then there's also the mystery of LeMarc the so called most notorious thief, then there's Rusty's ex who's an Interpol agent trying to stop them while Rusty tries to win her back much like Danny did with Tess in the first movie, and then there's the various problems the team runs into, on top of various twists I won't list due to spoilers. As you can see, it quickly gets to be too much keep track of and fully engaged.
However the acting is still phenomenal all around. Everyone plays their parts well and you can once again see the great chemistry between the crew, even with the addition of Catherine Zeta Jones and Bruce Willis. That alone is the films saving grace. It's rare to see a cast still deliver 100% even if they know the script is lacking. And so I'm left torn with neither liking nor disliking the movie. I still think Ocean's 13 is far stronger follow up, but I also don't regret watching 12.
ReMastered: Devil at the Crossroads (2019)
More speculation than fact
Robert Leroy Johnson is a very impactful blues singer steeped in much mystery and myth. What little we know is that he became a master at the guitar and recorded 29 songs via 2 recording session over the span of 7 months, then promptly died at 27, starting the myth of the "27 club". Beyond that, much is speculation.
If you're hoping to get more info about Johnson, this is not the documentary for you. Calling it a documentary is really a misnomer given how much speculation and free liberty it takes. For instance, a music historian visits an old run down cabin in Mississippi and says "we can say that this is the house Robert Johnson grew up... probably." Come on. It's one thing to say he came from a very poor black family in the early 1900s and this most likely his living conditions, it's another to just flat out lie and say this is his house.
The "documentary" pulls this stunt again and again, from showing a random woman who claimed to have dated him after a reporter drove around offering people money to anyone who could tell him a story about Robert Johnson... to wildly implying he was poisoned when his death certificate does not list a cause of death. It's a popular myth, but one that has never been proven. Most likely he had a congenital disease given his abnormally large fingers and early death. It also didn't help that the man was notoriously known to regularly drink an entire bottle of whiskey a night, minimum.
Unfortunately little facts are revealed in this "documentary," which is a shame because Robert Leroy Johnson is considered one of the most influential musicians in modern history, with many considering him the true first "rock star". I think it would've been better if they took the time to analyze what made his sound so unique for the time, how he went about recording his music, and what impact he had on the industry decades later. The end of the documentary does a quick 2-3 minute summary of various musicians from the 50s-70s taking inspiration from Johnson, but this could've been easily flushed out to really convey Johnson's significance for those who may have never heard of him.