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One World. Two Lobsters. Many Cats
~*~
How I Rate Movies (Horror Edition)
10: Life Changing
The Shining (1980)
9: Solid And Stirring
Dark Water (2002)
8: Solid
Cemetery Man (1984)
7: Decent
The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue (1974)
6: Not bad
Q (1982)
5: Mediocre
Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)
4: Worst In All The Right Ways
Killer Klowns From Outer Space
3: Worst In All The Wrong Ways
Time Walker (1982)
2: This Isn't Theater This Is Genocide
Leprechaun 4: In Space (1996 Video)
1: Kill Me Now
House of the Dead (2003)
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Evil (2019)
In the end, I wanted to rate EVIL higher; missed potential
Maybe there was no way for me to like the ending of EVIL's final season because I didn't want it to end... and while some finalities in the show I was okay with, others felt a little too rushed, convenient, or downright absurd.
Some things weren't cleared up at all. It needed a fifth season. Heck, you could do a spin-off on Andrea alone!
Now, I've read from some reviewers that they hated the daughters, that they were annoying, etc., but I liked them personally. They were smart, but also just kids and curious like cats. Imagine the kids just as a bunch of kittens running around, getting into trouble. Yeah, I had no issue with them.
So, when I say I am a little disappointed with the season, that was perhaps unavoidable, and perhaps my expectations were too high. Still, it coasted into easy ports to wrap it up, probably to cut down production costs, and it shows because I think anyone watching this show deserved something better in the end.
Because look, the evil is in the world, Leland is alive, the antichrist is alive, and the 60 are alive... in conclusion, I believe they're fine ending the fourth season this way, but it doesn't work as a series finale.
This type of thing always leads me to a little uncertainty when it comes to giving a final IMDb rating because many things along the way start to fall flat if the ending does, because they were only held up on the promises of development and fulfillment, in which there was very little, in the end.
In the end, I wanted to rate EVIL higher; missed potential, perhaps, because it feels like the 4th season starts well, with some great points along the way, but in the end, they turned in work that was just good enough.
If you watched the series, do you agree?
Sous la Seine (2024)
A little pandering a little horror
A little pandering a little horror
The Netflix movie Under Paris tries to reel in interest with a message of ecocriticism, then switches gears quickly into a sort of Jaws rip-off where sharks somehow get into the Seine around Paris, France, acclimate to fresh water and start murdering everyone.
The ending was pretty fun, but I fast-forwarded through a lot to get there, so it could have been better. Based on how the film ends, I think we're likely to see a sequel to Under Paris.
All in all, I felt they didn't really know what they wanted to be so they tried a lot but didn't follow through anywhere.
The Luring (2019)
Nearly unwatchable
The Luring (Review)
The opening scene is pretty good, enough to keep my foot in the door anyway, but the next scenes show just how low budget it is. The dialog repetitious and needing some revision for starters.
Camera work used more to practice filmmaking than have a purpose. Scenes shown through window for no reason than to do something at all, but not as evidence of plot. Not a game breaker, but something to consider.
A lot of pointless scenes, girl starts shower, spends time looking in the mirror, adding nothing to the scene, but to show boyfriend isn't kind, then he wanders away, another pointless scene.
Started fast forwarding through the pointless scenes...
Nope, turned it off, just unwatchable.
Turned it off after 30 minutes, I'd give it a 2/10.
Atlas (2024)
Much better than people say
This was a good movie, a lot of good writing, and a great opening to what could lead to a promising sequel.
Most of what I see by people rating ATLAS low are those who seemed to not be listening or paying attention to the story at all. Maybe they have a kneejerk reaction to Jennifer Lopez, or both.
I felt the movie had so many great elements, from the story to the theme of distrusting AI, with a very good reason, unlike many others which use that foundation without ever having a reason why except to be kitschu and cool.
Jennifer Lopez did a great job, the relationship between her and Smith was really well developed, Simu Liu did a fantastic job, as did Sterling Brown whose role was minimal.
There were some paint by number elements but I forgive them because the deeper elements were there which made the movie enjoyable to me.
Mermaids (1990)
I like it but not quite love
I really liked it, the writing for Cher's character felt a bit disjointed in some ways in that she's very protective of her kids but also very neglectful of them at the same time yet thinks to give toothpaste out on Halloween felt a bit out of character, she's intensely independent but afraid of any conflict to the point of moving at the slightest conflict but gets with the first guy she meets a burly man like Bob Hoskins, she's a walking contradiction.
Then Winona's character is 15 who manages to seduce a 27-year-old and he never seems to act like that's inappropriate even when he just leaves her and no one bats an eye, but then he moves to California and stays in contact and still there's no real emotion about it.
She's young and rather flighty like her mom which makes sense as she jumps from one extreme interest to the next, but overall, they never have any real feelings for the men in their lives which can make an aspect of the film feel rather hollow and again, disjointed.
I think it taints my love for the film in a way, throwing it off kilter, but maybe if they had a cat I'd feel better 🙂
Overall I would say it had some beautiful elements but I'd rate it no higher than a 7 for these reasons.
Otherwise, it was on its way to getting a much higher score from me.
The Jester (2023)
Missed Potential
I feel the horror movie THE JESTER had a lot of missed potential. It's a lot like Terrifier. It didn't make a whole lot of sense the way the Jester chose some victims and not others, his motivations were ambiguous and somewhat confusing throughout the movie. His powers were also a bit boring and many kills lacked punch or appeal.
If they had kept up the development and story of the end from the beginning, it could have been amazing.
They could have done more with music, atmosphere, backstory to develop the Jester's motivations, and what he is.
They also could have spent a bit more time on the kills and characters.
Madame Web (2024)
Much Better Than the IMDB Score
Madam Web is Final Destination meets Spider-Man.
Everyone hates Madam Web, Dakota Johnson dropped her talent agency after the first trailer came out, she says she hasn't even seen the finished movie... how can everyone hate a movie they haven't even seen?
Madam Web has a 3.8 on IMDb, and I think it's largely by those who have not even seen the film, I think maybe there's a systemic misogynistic conspiracy against women-driven movies, because there's no way this movie was a 3.8, it's actually pretty good. I give the movie a 7.
I'm going to be the first to say it. I want a Madam Web sequel.
Don't listen to the haters.
Night Swim (2024)
Unexplored and Missing the Mark
Night Swim would have been better if the Asian woman's eyes exploded. So many good elements poorly executed. Here's a big piece of glass on the floor, get ready someone's gonna step on this. A horror for the timid. Lacked story development, music, pacing, execution. 5/10.
The way it should have ended: they fill in the pool, then it jumps to years later and a new family is moving in and finds the outline of the pool and start to dig, leading to a possible better sequel.
Sell the property to a better team to direct and compose a better film with solid music, acting, and origin story, since so much is left unexplored.
The Crazies (2010)
Much better movie today
I originally rated THE CRAZIES a 7/10 back in 2010, and watched it again for the first time since tonight. The movie has incredibly solid tension, storywriting, worldbuilding, character building and development... from beginning to end it has solid pacing, I really can't see anything wrong with the movie.
Olyphant is so good here, the music, the original Romero film from 1973 is heavily on my radar now as I don't think I've ever actually seen it.
There was also some fantastic camera work in this movie, whether it was the chases, or the threshing machine seen through the half-light of the barn at night, just beautiful camera work.
I really have nothing bad to say about this movie.
Resurrected (2023)
Underrated and Hidden Gem
I was really surprised to see how good this movie turned out to be, seeing as it is so lowly considered here on IMDB.
The movie deserves a much higher rating being that it has such an original story, solid writing, acting, pacing, and follow-through from beginning to end.
Joe Rechtman does a fantastic job, and it's enjoyable from beginning to end.
I found the immediate premise interesting and something significant to most people, which is what happens after death, and what could happen if we were able to resurrect, and all the complexities that go along with it.
The pitfalls, the power, the problems, and the promise of second chances.
Insidious: The Red Door (2023)
Keep Going Further...
Watched the new Insidious movie, the final installment I believe in the series... I can't say anything without spoiling it, but I will say this about the entire franchise. They should have made it a cable series instead of a film series. I think they could have done more with it, developed more, built on it more, but hey... a series called THE FURTHER could be interesting, right?
Keep Going Further...
A series could really do amazing things with the concepts explored here, from astral projection, out of body, psychic healing, past lives, remote viewing, crystals, spirits, the landscape is rich with content and possibilities.
Unearth (2020)
Great until the 3rd act disappearing story trick
The best I can say about this movie is that it's sooo close to being good, but the script's 3rd act goes absolutely nowhere. Up until then though I was on board to give Unearth a solid 7. It just kind of ends with no resolution or explanation, with a tacked on Cabin Fever ending, that oh no it's gonna get out to the public now BS...
I thinjk they really could have saved the movie by having them confront the company, maybe it turns out they're aliens or something, and they have to find a cure or they all die, I mean, something. Anything. But alas, the movie goes from a 7 to me to a 4 pretty fast, and now I understand why the rating is so low.
Channel Zero (2016)
BRING IT BACK!
Man, I forgot how good the first season of Channel Zero, Candle Cove is. Glad I decided to stream it in VR tonight. With how many great creepy pasta stories there are, I'm surprised they didn't keep the show going.
I think it was the show "Evil" that did a really good job of including the elevator game intro the series.
The writing, build-up, music, directing, horror... this series has it all.
Man, I forgot how good the first season of Channel Zero, Candle Cove is. Glad I decided to stream it in VR tonight. With how many great creepy pasta stories there are, I'm surprised they didn't keep the show going.
I think it was the show "Evil" that did a really good job of including the elevator game intro the series.
The writing, build-up, music, directing, horror... this series has it all.
Abandoned (2022)
Those who fail to see deeply will not see anything but the wind rustling over old leaves, failing to see what beauty lies beneath.
The horror movie Abandoned (2022) starring Emma Roberts (American Horror Story), Michael Shannon (Boardwalk Empire), and John Gallagher Jr. (Gaslight), star in this movie rated 3.7 on IMDb for being too slow and meaningless, but it's none of the above.
Emma stars as a new mother dealing with postpartum depression in their fresh-out-of-the-way farmhouse, where she is haunted by the ghosts of its past tenants who did unspeakable things which will not stay silent.
In many ways, the movie is about how women are gaslit by estranged husbands and doctors instead of listened to empathetically and understood.
Many unsettling elements seem like they could have more profound importance. Still, they show why the husband is having trouble engaging, i.e., overworked, the difficulty of his job as a veterinarian, though why he's gone 18 hours a day when he only seems to have two clients could have been better explored.
The historical horrors of the house must inevitably crash into the mother's presence in a way perhaps only a mother could understand.
I think there are many ways the story could have played out better. Still, I believe, in the end, it's a story about a mother recognizing past abuses and finding gratitude for what she has so that she does not become the next abuser created out of trauma and neglect.
Those who fail to see deeply will not see anything but the wind rustling over old leaves, failing to see what beauty lies beneath.
Single Drunk Female (2022)
Privilege taints an otherwise great show.
I enjoy the series "Single Drunk Female", but hate to say, I think Sofia Black-D'Elia is poorly cast in the lead. The ensemble cast is great with diversity, but they chose the little rich girl who had it all as the lead, makes no sense. Privilege taints an otherwise great show.
Season 1 was okay, but season 2 just gets flat and rather boring. The lead is just not interesting in any way or relatable.
I enjoy the series "Single Drunk Female", but hate to say, I think Sofia Black-D'Elia is poorly cast in the lead. The ensemble cast is great with diversity, but they chose the little rich girl who had it all as the lead, makes no sense. Privilege taints an otherwise great show.
Season 1 was okay, but season 2 just gets flat and rather boring. The lead is just not interesting in any way or relatable.
I enjoy the series "Single Drunk Female", but hate to say, I think Sofia Black-D'Elia is poorly cast in the lead. The ensemble cast is great with diversity, but they chose the little rich girl who had it all as the lead, makes no sense. Privilege taints an otherwise great show.
Season 1 was okay, but season 2 just gets flat and rather boring. The lead is just not interesting in any way or relatable.
Renovation Goldmine (2022)
Agree with other review, they are doing horrible things
Watching Renovation Goldmine on HGTV, and episode 3 they renovate a billiard table and a poker table in the most ugly yellow and tan and green I've ever seen... omg to me they just look hideous. The tan completely lacks depth too, which is not complimenting those tables at all.
Are they color-blind? This is absolutely madness. The clawed feet of the pool table should look commanding and cool, and looked so much better in plain wood than painting it an ugly yellow.
They find an old beautiful hidden mural by a local artist and get this, they painted over the whole thing a disgusting dark flat blue... what a disrespect to this beautiful original whimsical artwork that they found.
The Lucky One (2012)
A bit of a mess
The Lucky One 2012 would have been a better movie if they showed redeeming qualities to Keith, but he was awful throughout, unlikeable, until this moment where Logan says you're not a bad guy, then the movie rewrites Keith as not so bad, but it doesn't work. Script was a mess.
First he lies, then he withholds, then he finally comes clean in the end. It's one of those movies that feels so close to being good, but all of the characters just feel rather thin, unrealistic, paint by numbers and then inconsistent and unrelatable.
The music was pretty milktoast as well, no consistent tone, or characterization.
Terminal (2018)
More style than substance
Vaughn Stein, influenced by James Bond, McGhee's Alice, and Dark City, brings us "Terminal."
A great script leads you through a movie and avoids exhibition by monologues in the final chapter. A lousy film leads you to a senseless act, then explains why the action matters.
Apocalyptic (2014)
Not worth the time
The best thing about this movie is the poster... nothing in the poster happens in the movie... this was the most boring pointless movie I've ever seen and nothing happens worth watching or talking about. I cannot recommend it. It was awful.
Behind the Sightings (2021)
Potential Wasted
MY REVIEW OF BEHIND THE SIGHTINGS...
Everyone I've seen discussing the movie, Behind the Sightings, has hated it ever since it came out. But, being me, I like to make up my own mind, so I watched it today, and honestly, I think the movie is full of a lot of great elements. There's a lot of funny stuff, stupid character choices by Todd, specifically, but overall I find it pretty entertaining.
I went in not expecting much, which helps. So it starts out okay, but then it all turns to crap.
The clowns remind me a bit of the ones from Hell House, LLC... some cross-over would be kinda cool maybe for a future movie...
I think the problem I have is that you would think they'd go into this backwoods and dangerous place at night at least armed. Characters who have so little awareness and intelligence make for a pretty dumb movie, and I am sure this is a big part of why so many hated the movie. It feels like they didn't really spend time to write a good script.
One of the reasons ALIEN is such a classic is because Sigourney Weaver's character is so intelligent and supports a smart script where people do their best to figure things out and survive, which is entirely missing from most found footage films and I think it'd be nice to change that.
No sane person with a wife that hot would have brought her out into the middle of the woods to chase clowns, completely unarmed.
This goes so far beyond suspension of disbelief as to warrant the hate it gets.
So, from the humor and aesthetic, this movie clearly has A LOT of potential, but it wound up just absolutely sucking because the script is just so bad.
What a waste.
My score: 2/10.
Keullojet (2020)
Better than Rated
South Korean horror movie, The Closet reminds me of the story, Battle Royale. Where parents turn to desperate and inhuman solutions due to hardships of the economy in a sick society that has leeched all compassion and joy out of life... and the innocents who pay the price.
Fantasy Island (2021)
Relateable
Being that the show starts with one character whose fiance died suddenly, became a stone that sunk me to the bottom of this series, because my fiance died suddenly in 2018.
I have found every episode so far very good though, unlike some other reviews who call it boring. Maybe it's a show that requires one be a bit older, a bit more seasoned. Someone who has experienced loss and looking for something to connect to.
I think for those, this show will be perhaps a little light in ways, but mostly meaningful.
Saint Maud (2019)
thought-provoking
SAINT MAUD was a thought-provoking look into the human experience. A study on the dynamic balance between rationalization and reality. Mental illness and religious fervor. Faith and fear. Loneliness and seeking a true path.
Morfydd Clark was brilliant.
Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin (2021)
I really liked it
I'm watching Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin and honestly, even though some say it's a reboot or unrelated, it feels completely related to the series... the Amish family teaching the children in part 5 are a lot like perhaps who these people are before they came to the city.
It feels a bit like a partial origin story... but my worries were completely set aside as the farmhouse, secluded and natural environment works really well with the story, making me far more hypersensitive to the experience.
I have no idea how anyone else feels about it, but I really liked the new Paranormal Activity movie by Oren Peli,
Blumhouse, and Christopher Landon. Next of Kin reminded me of The Shrine gone horribly wrong... scary movie, solid story.
This movie reminds me a lot of THE SHRINE.
Damien (2021)
Heart was in the right place but nothing happens
I kept waiting for something to happen, anything... but there isn't much of a movie here, or plot, or anything that really happens... I was bored.