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Reviews
Man cheng jin dai huang jin jia (2006)
Breathtaking
Amazing, The colours! Spectacular, Just wallow in the atmosphere, Could not have been made anywhere else. Some may say that is slow, the plot thin, but I thought it was a film that drugged the senses. The costumes, sets, the females, and yes, the breasts, all contributed to an enjoyable, unique and wonderful experience.
Wonder Woman (2017)
I thought it was fine
I enjoyed this movie, beautiful leggy female doing impossible feats and beating up the bad guys, what's not to like? It seems to me when reading a lot of the reviews, many appear to be written by trolls taking pleasure from dissing others just because they have been given a platform to do so. Okay, we are all entitled to an opinion. If you go to see a movie that you know features a female superhero, probably seen stills and maybe a trailer, it shouldn't be a surprise to see ridiculous antics, a light plot, and a fun film aimed mainly at the male teenage market. Someone had a go at the acting, nothing wrong with it that I could see. Lighten up a little, if you don't like a movie, say so but do it in a way that doesn't insult in an unkind way.
Toast (2010)
Possible spoilers
I have a couple of Nigel Slater's books and like his simple un-fussy style of cooking so looked forward to learning a little of his kitchen training. I didn't get any of that, how can you have a film about a famous chef without some insight of his training? Nigel's mother can't cook, there is no such thing as can't! Anyone can learn, so is it laziness, stupidity or what? I found the woman tiresome, sure she became increasingly ill but at her age she surely could do more than sling a few tins in boiling water. Her son soon showed her how. Dad was on medication for his gut so no wonder he was bad tempered, toast isn't healthy. Along comes H.B. Carter, she's amazing, cleans, cooks like a chef, sexy and for some inexplicable reason sets her cap for Nigel's tubby, grumpy and very ordinary dad. Nigel hates the poor woman, leaving aside memories of his mother and his homosexuality the way he behaved toward her was cruel and I thought rather odd. After all he drools over and longs for food, she supplies dishes beyond measure yet he doesn't give her a chance? The first half hour or so were slow, lingering for too long on shots so by the time it got going when Mrs Potter comes along it didn't leave enough running time for more of when Nigel leaves home. Or was that a deliberate choice in case of a sequel? If it had been me when left with the hot Mrs Potter in the shape of the delectable Helena B. Carter I would have let her teach me more about cooking and maybe a lot more about life!
Jonah Hex (2010)
Well I enjoyed it.
I sometimes wonder what folk want, yes in spots it was rather over the top silly but quite original to this viewer. I hadn't heard of the character before so didn't judge it on anything other than entertainment value. The 'hero' was different, not being the usual handsome dude, the villain suitably nasty and creepy, the young lady was hot and feisty. Everything in place to grab a beer, sit back and watch a fun movie, which I did. Lighten up folks.
Down by Law (1986)
pretentious claptrap
This had a good start, atmospheric shots of Louisiana with decent music, then for me it went downhill fast. The actors delivery was in a staccato mannered way which made me wonder if they were reading it from hand held cards. A lot of long lingering shots of rubbish strewn streets with no one about. Okay I saw it on TV so it is possible it was edited but let's be honest, there was little plot, nothing explained, things just happened. It ended up going nowhere at all. Unsatisfactory pretentious tripe masquerading as art, how it got such high scores is beyond me.
This Beautiful Fantastic (2016)
More please
A thoroughly enjoyable feel good movie to uplift one's spirits. Unusual, quirky and full of interesting characters. Tom Wilkinson in particular stood out but the acting from all concerned was on point. Sure some may find it a little 'twee' for their taste but I couldn't fault it. So different from most of the stuff being churned out I very much hope to see more like this.
Beyond the Known World (2017)
A disappointment
Supposedly set in India, ( and was ) so I expected exotic locations with lots of local colour, but this was much more about the couples being estranged rather than getting on with the search for their missing daughter. Written by a woman so it had the usual female slant, (nothing wrong with that providing it is well done ) I think this would appeal more to a female audience.
Return to Paradise (1953)
storyline
This is not a review about the film, (which is amiable enough but we have all seen better) but a complaint. Yet look at the storyline regarding this movie written by Les Adams, completely ruins the film which we don't need to watch as he has told us the complete 'plot.' This happens far too often in my view, okay don't read the storyline, if so what is the point of putting it therea And as I finish this rant, there is a question, does this review contain spoilers
Connasse, princesse des coeurs (2015)
Typical
'A young woman, unsatisfied with her social class, decides to marry someone rich and powerful to be able to stop working and have whatever she wants for the rest of her days'. The 'blurb' says, I can't think of a better way to describe most women. This tripe was a waste of anyone's time, give it a miss.
Mystery!: Sherlock: The Abominable Bride (2016)
Boring
The Sherlock stories are about a clever chap who, through observations is able to deduce theories of how and why crimes are committed, and by whom. What I expect, is a tale with a sensible start, an exciting middle where we are treated to how the great man comes to the conclusions he does and a satisfactory finale where the perpetrator gets his or her just desserts. What I don't appreciate is ridiculous posturings, fairy story supernatural shenanigans and a story-line difficult to fathom just what is going on, how are we expected to take the ridiculous nonsense seriously and what everyone involved is thinking to put out such utter drivel. As the series has gone on, and yes it is successful but when will folk wake up to the fact it has lost it's way and is increasingly stupid? Read the books again and let's return to a coherent plot and an enjoyable watch...please!
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010)
mediocre at best
Come on, I'm all for a fun movie with a beautiful girl and a macho bloke doing amazing stunts, and I can suspend belief up to a point, but the trite dialogue, the impossible plot and too much makeup made it laughable. Gemma was miscast in my view, it needed someone who could play posh totty, not somebody who sounded as though they had just stepped off the bus from Essex. (and Gemma is fine in things such as 'Hansel and Gretel; witch hunters')but perhaps Keira Knightley would have been much better as the Royal Princess who could be tough when required. Where all the money was spent I don't know but much was wasted. Jake Gyllenhaal was great in the part but Ben Kingsley, Alfred Molina and others obviously decided they were in a pantomime and just had fun then collected the money.
Jack Reacher (2012)
Oh dear!
I have read and enjoyed most of Lee Childs 'Reacher' books. Like most people, I had a mental picture of Jack in my mind's eye, Tom Cruise is not it! As Tom produced it, I assume he can put whoever he likes in the part, was it just an ego trip that made him decide he was perfect for the part? the money? what? And we can only assume that Mr. Childs gave the go ahead, again, was it the money? Whatever the reasons a pretty boy actor, no matter how good, at 5' 7'' can't play a huge man of 6'5''. On top of that, the screenplay was a million miles away from the book, a cracker of a read, if you have not read it, forget the movie and read the book. If the movie had been made years ago, someone like Lee Marvin would have made a great Reacher, rugged, not too good looking and looks the part. Someone has suggested Ray Stevenson, an actor who also looks the part, good choice I think. The movie itself should be watched as an entertaining action movie, it's not at all bad, but it's not Jack Reacher. Will there be a franchise? I hope not!
The Disappearance of Alice Creed (2009)
grubby and distasteful
This seems to be a popular film with most who have written about it. I found it grubby and distasteful on various levels. The way Alice is stripped and treated was a little graphic I thought. Okay Gemma naked is ticking a lot of boxes but what's happened to allowing the viewer to use a little imagination? The urination scene was not needed. Why not choose a bolt hole with a bathroom or at least another room even if it only contained a bucket. I get the idea of showing how the victim is dehumanised and it's all part of the plan to demonstrate how easy it is to make someone fearful. Then the relationship between the blokes. Chaps sticking their tongues down each others throats is not something I want to see. Again we don't need to be shown every detail, we can imagine. Once Alice gets the gun, why didn't she just shoot the bloke in the kneecap, take the keys and get out of there? The phone has been mentioned by others, leave it turned on and it will be traced. Not a film I want to see again, once was enough.
The Keep (1983)
an oddity that's neither one thing or the other!
I tried to like this strange movie. Looking more like a pantomime set rather than a film set, plus the T.Dream music that for me did not help but was intrusive and at times grated. There was a better movie in there somewhere, Maybe M.Mann's original cut? Sir Ian's accent was anything but Eastern European, more American than anything. I notice on his own site he says the director asked him to drop the Rumanian accent for a Chicago one, if true it sounds strange to say the least. The only actor who seemed believable to me was Jurgen Prochnow, Gabriel Byrne doing pretty much as every other actor doing the sadistic Nazi act does with the exception of the brilliant Christoph Waltz in Tarantino's 'Inglourious Basterds' I thought the monster quite good until 'it' opened it's mouth, it spoke with a better accent than Ian Mckellen. In my view this 'mish mash' was a missed opportunity.
Broken Lance (1954)
It's a soap
Dear me this is a western in name only. With all the star names I expected a lot more. Hugh O'Brian totally wasted with hardly any lines. None of the sons would have put up with the bullying overbearing prick of a father! Maybe the movie was aimed at women as it had so many male stars but this bloke thought it a disappointing watch to say the least. Perhaps I am one of the few people who think Spencer Tracy, whilst an excellent actor in some of his films, perhaps westerns are not his forte. I don't even like 'Bad day at Black Rock' which I found rather silly. If 'Broken Lance' was remade today, we would have an entirely different movie with perhaps a more realistic storyline.
Deep End (1970)
Woeful
Dear God this was/is dreadful! It's difficult to find a single positive thing to say about it, Okay, Jane Asher is lovely to look at, I agree with the chap called Ionizing, it needs more than that. John M.Brown behaves less like a fifteen year old youth and more like a simpering twelve year old girl. The 'acting' reminded me of a bunch of school children having been told to improvise the dialogue, it was that stilted. Take a look at the scene where the youth is being interviewed for the job by the manager of the baths. The chap looked like seedy escapee from the local lock up, and acted as though he had found himself in the office by accident. The schoolteacher character, he'd have been arrested for his behaviour in no time. The baths themselves appeared to be run as a second class brothel for all the local weirdos. I was persuaded to purchase this mess because of glowing write-ups from people who I assume had a share in the profits. I'd like my money back please! Avoid this like the plague!
Sleeping Beauty (2011)
Not very good at all
Contains spoilers. Emily Browning has courage to allow herself to be so exposed and I applaud her for that, but- as someone else has pointed out, she has a very immature body, looks like a little girl. Eva Greene in The Dreamers is naked a great deal and she looks and behaves like a mature sexy woman. I am assuming that the old men are looking for a last 'thrill' with a girl. There is a no penetration rule, yet if you are going to die, would you not ignore that, if capable? Anything could happen to the girl if that scenario is the case, or have I got that wrong? (The brute with the cigarette for example) I hope that Ms. Browning's career doesn't take a nose dive after this movie and she doesn't just get offers of film parts where she has to strip as others have done after making films such as this. I was disappointed with the lack of character development, the cold impersonal mood of the whole thing, and couldn't generate much interest in the outcome.
Scoop (2006)
Enjoyable fun
Well! I am surprised at the amount of vitriol poured onto this in some comments. Fed up with all the 'boys with their toys' type movies and the 'Isn't it a shame for me?' programs that infest the TV these days, this movie pressed all the right buttons for me. It's a fun, frothy comedy which has the feel good factor. Scarlett looked terrific and cute in her glasses, Woody seemed to be having fun as a rather inept magician, and Jackman must be every females choice of hunk. Yes, there are occasions when it's a little cheesy, but lighten up everybody, and just enjoy it for what it is, a little light relief! (That's all I have to say, but as the site insists on ten lines....)
Twilight (2008)
Dreary
Oh dear was this dreary! Slow, ponderous and plodding, the minutes ticked away whilst we waited for SOMETHING TO HAPPEN! Okay, it made heaps of money, teenage girls may find it romantic and let's face it..it is a soap, a chick flick, call it what you will but don't tell me it's entertaining! Compare it to so many others of this ilk, even as far back as 'The Lost Boys' when there was nothing like the effects of today, they managed to inject some style and action. Look at 'True Blood' sex, gore, excitement, action, all the things this didn't have. I realise they didn't want a rating that meant young girls couldn't see it but give it some erotic content, isn't this what vamps are supposed to be about? Glamour! For me the actor playing Edward Cullen wasn't even particularly good looking for all the fuss made about him. (Okay, yes I'm a bloke.) A disappointing waste of time in my view.
Savage Grace (2007)
Interesting and different
Others have written some excellent reviews with which I agree so I don't feel the need to go on at length. When I started watching the movie, I was a little bored with it's meandering, talky style, but gradually got sucked into the story. Partly due to some excellent acting, (and may I mention young Barney Clark as the 12 year old Tony, perhaps slightly overshadowed by Eddie Redmayne, but who I thought brought a lot to the role.) As the tale unfolded, I enjoyed the scenery, the gentle pace and it struck me how unique it was and so refreshing after all the special effects, noise and mayhem of much from America. There was a lot missing from the plot, much left to one's imagination but despite that, I am glad I had the chance to see a flawed but enjoyable movie.
A Midsummer Night's Dream (1999)
An excellent effort with reservations
I enjoyed a great deal about this production. The music was a plus, it was colourful, and happily not to much in the way of special effects. All the actors did well although I thought Rupert Everett was miscast. Oberon should be an older more macho presence in my view, Mr. Everett seemed too young and as a gay man didn't bring enough to the part. (Although he may have chuckled to himself playing as he was, the king of the fairies.)Kevin Kline was terrific as bottom. Stanley Tucci good as Puck, and Calista Flockhart showed what she could do as Helena. Sophie Marceau, a luminous Hippolyta not given enough to do. I could have done without the bikes, too modern they seemed out of place. All told, a pleasant watch that could have been a lot better.
3:10 to Yuma (2007)
Ridiculous twaddle. Contains many spoilers!
Reading other people's reviews, I wonder if I saw the same movie. A fan of Mr. Crowe, I looked forward to seeing his performance compared to the original, which I am old enough to remember. Rancher Dan Evans and family, haven't got a pot to pee in, yet his Mrs. looks like a glamour model. Robbing the coach, the gang risk getting shot up by the well armed Pinkertons until Ben Wade drives a herd of cattle in front of the coach, why not do that in the first place? Byron McElroy gets gut shot, then is seemingly miraculously cured, able to go along riding his horse and seeking revenge. Amazing. Ben Wade proceeds to hang around town, drinking and having his wicked way with the local beauty, (who as usual has TB,) apparently just waiting for the posse to turn up and catch him at it. Ben Wade, the nemesis of the region, then seems to realise what a rotten person he is and appears to help Dan Evans get him onto the train, as if! Of course, rancher Evans has to die, his son now realising his father is a hero. By the time Mr Crowe decides to shoot all the remaining members of his loyal gang who are attempting to rescue him, I was fast losing the will to live. Talk about a cop-out, bang! bang! and everybody fell down dead, is no kind of an ending for me! A big disappointment.
L'educazione sentimentale di Eugénie (2005)
Not good
This wasn't an enjoyable watch. First of all my version was badly dubbed. I much prefer subtitles. Also, I believe the original version was 88 mins not the 83 as on IMDb and my version. There was early on an obvious 'jump'.As usual in movies of this type, the young girl is a little too old so looks a bit silly pretending to be so unworldly and she is supposed to be beautiful. I found her quite ordinary and a little plump, but that's a matter of taste. The acting was laughably bad and there was little 'plot.' OK, a lot of nudity and sex scenes but frankly that's not enough any more. Antonella Salvucci is a lovely female and was by far the best thing in it, but apart from her, I wouldn't waste your time.
Harem Suare (1999)
Lovely, but lacking.
I appreciated the photography, the textures, the colours and often, unlike one comment, the lighting. What was lacking for me was a coherent storyline.I found it often disjointed, badly edited and at times difficult to follow. My version was 110 minutes, IMDb shows one at 125m. Possibly the cuts and subtitles didn't help. I applaud any films that escape from the Hollywood mould but this left me disappointed. Miss Gillain was luminous and the performances were all fine, I just wanted a little more dialogue. If anyone would like to see another film that has some affinity with this one, try 'Hideous Kinky'with Kate Winslet.
Un été à Saint-Tropez (1983)
Pretty, but bad.
There is no more beautiful sight on God's green earth, than a nubile young female and I make no excuses for enjoying looking at them. David Hamilton has had a terrific life photographing girls. I have seen his other work and a lot of it is to be admired, this film though, isn't very good.(At least my copy of the DVD.)It is dated 1984 but appears to be shot in the seventies, grainy and faded with bad sound. Bright sunlight is difficult to 'shoot' in but half the time I found it hard to see anything clearly. (Bilitis is also shot in sunlight yet is fine, all is sharp.)So be warned, if you wish to spend sixty minutes hoping to see sharp clear images of young girls disporting themselves on beaches, this film isn't it!