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Reviews
Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget (2023)
Lame
Seriously, who was this for? Was ANYONE really asking for a part 2 to the original? Was this even necessary?! No, no it wasn't. Frankly, this movie was pure dribble and rubbish! Seriously, stick to the first one; it was alot better. This movie was very unimaginative and pathetic, overall. Just a cash grab production and nothing more. Sure it was interesting to see what the characters were up to after all this time, but that was about it. It was rather boring and pitiful to watch. Frankly, it's lacking some serious charm to keep the audience interested. I really see to point of the film or why it was even made. Do you self a favor and watch something that's actually WORTH watching.
Night Court (2023)
Crap!
Okay, so where to begin? Frankly, they should have done a revival of the series 30 years ago WHEN IT MATTERED! Now quite frankly it's too late. 1 Melissa Rauch plays the, "daughter" of the original judge that THINKS she's funny, well SHE'S NOT! She's far more ANNOYING than her character's father! Atleast HE was ENTERTAINING! But she has NON OF THAT! She LITERALLY brings NOTHING to the table of entertainment! People that THINK they're funny are NOT FUNNY! People try to use the writer strike as to a reason why this show is lacking; production started BEFORE the strike, so nice try! I care how much you try and polish a turd; it's still a turd! Flush it and MOVE ON already! Honestly, I can't see how this even got a green light for season 2! Consider it a blessing or a miracle because it WON'T happen again! The slapstick is badly done and the timing is god awful! The only thing I do like about the show is that it didn't completely go woke like so many other reboot/revivals OFTEN DO! I felt like they could have gotten someone BETTER than Melissa Rauch she's just so unlikeable in this! Hell the best actors on this show is the heavyset woman and Dan. The rest can simply disappear as far as I'm concerned!
Goosebumps (2023)
Crap
What the flying frick is this shi it?! I seriously don't know where to start on this series! A reboot? More like a re-DON'T! And WTF? Justin Long is in this?! Talk about a low point in his career! I don't have to tell you that the ORIGINAL is waaaaay better than this heap of RUBBISH! More importantly, why did they TRY to connect all the stories together as a single series?! That's just DUMB! They should have stood to the ORIGINAL formula and make it an ANTHOLOGY SERIES! A revival would have been BETTER than this CRAP! And that's what they gave us CRAP! How much does it cost to get bots to give you positive reviews and ratings? Seriously, if you were to watch this you would instantly say, "What the frick am I watching?! WHY did they RUIN a classic for this CRAP?!" stick to original and you'll thank me later for it.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)
Crap
Okay let's be blunt and stat the obvious; this movie is PURE RUNBISH! Why this movie sucked? An annoying teen that THINKS he's soo clever and a, "pilot" in training. A woman with an highly irritating voice and North London accent! The action was sub par at best and overall predictable. Seriously, why is she even in this? What's the matter? They couldn't find ANYONE else that was LESS annoying?! Is she supposed to be, "eye candy" for the audience? She's not even close to that. She's NOT enjoyable and NOT a refreshing sidekick. This COULD have been a good movie had they lost Teddy and that annoying prude. Didn't they learn their lesson with Temple of doom? No ANNOYING characters! I never want to see this movie again and quite frankly the crystal skull was FAR more ENJOYABLE than this heap of garbage!
Envy (2004)
Pretty average, truly.
Where to begin with this movie? Well, I guess you can say that it started off as an okay movie; it has its moments, sure. However, overall its a bit of a fairly boring movie. Quite frankly, I was expecting more out of this movie. Especially since Jack Black in basically the main Star of this movie. It just felt so empty inside, like they were just phoning it in most of the time. I mean seriously, was there even really a script? Who's bright idea was it to make this tripe? It's supposed to be a comedy as well as a drama; made me smirk, but didn't really make me laugh too much. The best line in this movie has to be, "Up his @ss with mustard gas". Other than that, pretty boring.
Triassic World (2018)
Okay, so it's a B movie
Okay look, we all know what it is and we all know what to expect; a B-movie. My only major problem with this movie is the plot itself; why use dinosaurs to clone human organs? I get that it's a knockoff and all but atleast put some more thought into your movie outline BEFORE you start making a movie. Other than that, let's talk about the pros and cons of this movie:
Pro: Good acting, BETTER CGI than the original film it rips off (Jurassic world), more likeable characters, entertaining, more action, and less annoying.
Cons: Bad plot/storyline, a little predictable, and a little long for my taste, but still enjoyable.
All and all not that bad of a movie. Far better than Jurassic world but NOT as good as Jurassic Park.
65 (2023)
Lame
Okay, normally I don't write reviews because the requirements have became super lame and stupid that writing one requires almost 3 or 4 paragraphs before IMDB will even accept the review. Okay, so where to begin? You would think with a movie with dinosaurs and other creatures that this movie would be more entertaining and interesting, right? But sadly, it was super lame and predictable throughout the entire run of this pure rubbish that they call a film. Seriously, it was a snooze fest! I couldn't hit the skip/fast forward button fast enough before I started to roll my eyes. I gave this movie my, "25 minute" rule (a film has within 25 minutes to entertain me before I stop watching) well, after about 30 minutes(I gave it an extra 5 minutes because I was feeling generous) I simply wandered away to another film that was WORTH watching! That movie was John Wick 4. Don't waste your time with this smelly rubbish and watch something else; you'll thank me later.
House of the Wolf Man (2009)
Average
So I watched the movie and now I'm choosing to write a proper review. But where to begin? I guess I'll stick to the pros and cons for this film.
Pros:
1) Black and white done right (not grey scale like usual B/W films.
2) stayed true to the orginal franchise
3) The makeup effects (probably done by the late Great Michael R. Thomas) were top notch esp. For modern day.
4) It was short.
5) Ron Chaney
6) fighting scenes
Not the cons:
1) acting was bad.
2) movie was too short
3) Ending was sloppy and unresolved.
So overall, a 5 star movie out of ten but because of the bad acting and terrible ending it loses 1 star; 4 out of 10, and that's my final vote.
Starman (1984)
4 stars for the mustang and special effects.
Crap, pure crap! It's movies like this that make me question humanity completely! When it becomes a, "cult classic", and it sucks out loud! Seriously, why is this movie highly rated? While GREAT movies like, "Baby's Day out", are low rated or forgotten/hidden gems? The only great thing about this movie is the Mustang in this movie and that's all. Was this movie supposed to be a comedy? Cause I seriously never laughed once during the whole film. Okay, I will admit that the special effects were fairly decent, all things considering. But other than that, this whole movie is a complete snooze fest!
Wire Room (2022)
Underrated.
Look, I don't care what the haters say about this movie; it's a decent movie! Okay, it's a B movie, so what? It's still WAAAY better than anything else that's been released in the past 20 years! I'm not going to lie, I wasn't going to give this movie 10 stars, but I felt like I had to to overthrow the BS trolling. It's actually not that bad and as far as Bruce Willis movies go this is probably one of his bests! If we're being honest, Bruce hasn't made any recently good movies in over what? 10 years or so? Well, let this film be one of the greatest films he's made in his RECENT career and sadly, his last, since he's retired now. I can legally say he left on a high note and Kevin Dillon really shined pretty in this movie.
Escape from Death Block 13 (2021)
Why the hate for this movie?
Okay, look, we all know what this movie is and honestly I don't understand why so many haters come out of the blue just to crap on decent movies. Is it because it's not woke? Is it because it's made in the traditional style? Or perhaps they thought it was a Charles Bronson film and got dooped and they're too embarrassed to admit it? Well either way Robert Bronzi is extremely underrated and deserves better to be frank. But hey, for what it is, a B MOVIE it was still pretty darn good. Yeah, okay SOME of the CGI was kinda average but it doesn't have to be great all the time! Because it's a B MOVIE! Be grateful it isn't as bad as the crappy CGI dinosaurs in Jurassic world! Now THAT CGI is EMBARRASSING!(because it's a main stream movie and there's no excuse to look that bad) This movie has that retro 80s vibe but made in the 90s style; makes it a BETTER modern day film than anything else I've seen in the past 20+ years! People can take a page from this movie on how MOVIES SHOULD be made; less chick-flick MORE action and MORE Bronson(Bronzi)!
Cry Havoc (2020)
5 stars and I'll explain why.
Okay let's cut to the chase and call this movie what it is, a B movie. Is it bad? Not completely. Is it good? As far as low budget slasher films go, it was good/decent. The dubbing for, "Charles Bronson's" lookalike was top notch. The nudity, although predictable was enjoyable. The action scenes were a mixture of great to average. Silly at times but overall the action was good enough for a movie like this. What I liked most of all about this movie? That it was made in the traditional way. The fight scenes are choreographed, decent practical effects, the stage blood looks decent. Sure the movie is a little cheesy, but overall not as bad as people have been saying. Frankly, I look forward in seeing more Bronson reincarnation Robert Bronzi films. I hope he does LESS slasher films and MORE traditional action films! I'm not a big fan of this genre(too predictable and pathetic regardless who makes them) so to recap 5 stars for the following: dubbing, Bronson action, nudity (a bonus), and for trying(A for effort).
People Like Us (1990)
Boring
Just want to start off by saying that this movie is far too long to be enjoyable. I felt like a movie in the caliber should have only been like around an hour and 40 minutes or something in that neighborhood. I felt like whomever made this didn't know when to cut or when to scrap certain scenes. Just overall poor judgement calls on the director and film editor. I'm not saying that a shorter version on this movie would help the plot in anyway, but it certainly would have helped some, when it comes to watching it. The plot is subparr and not at all worth your while. Frankly I only gave this movie a chance because a couple of actors I knew were in this including Dennis Farina, but not even he could save this boring film. I strongly suggest watching something else ANYTHING else than this rubbish.
Night at the Museum: Kahmunrah Rises Again (2022)
Average
I hate to give a great Animated movie like this a low score, but in the end it was the story that forced my hand. So let's give points where points are due. The Animation is GREAT! The acting was wonderful! But the plot was just awful. Look, I get that it's a movie directed at kids and what not, and no, I'm not being too picky, the story just kinda falls apart towards the end of the movie. I felt like the writers got lazy towards the end. It's their laziness that prevents me for giving this movie a much more higher star count. But in the same time I admire them for trying. Seriously, it's not every day you see a great Animated movie, and a 2D animated movie to boot! I reward this movie 5 stars for the spot on Animation but only 1 star for the lazy writing. 5 minus 1= 4 stars, that's my final ruling on this beautiful film; take it or leave it.
Dog Gone (2008)
Not that bad
Okay, I know that clearly this movie is aimed towards kids or whatever, but it's still a decent clean wholesome movie that's actually pretty funny, if you fast forward the annoying kid scenes; Kevin Farley and French Stewart shine in this movie. Clearly this movie wasn't meant to be taken seriously or watched in such a way. Frankly I wish they would have found a more likeable kid to play the main Star; make the movie almost unwatchable because of him, thus the reason why I give it 5 stars instead of the 10 stars that it clearly deserves. So, yes it has its moments and it's still a decent movie regardless. Just keep an open mind while watching it.
Paradise City (2022)
Disappointed
Okay, I'm not going to lie, I only gave this film a shot because of Bruce; great guy and actor. But sadly, this movie clearly misses its mark. The story is boring, the pacing is bad, and whom ever directed this, needs to turn in their Director's cars; this movie is just a mess of nothingness. Quite frankly my 5 year old could've done a better job directing this film; did they even try? It's as if they took a good idea and plot and just ignored the whole point of making a movie; to entertain and keep its viewers interested in the film, that's the point. It's no wonder this movie flopped big time; simply sad.
Cerdita (2022)
Could have been better
After watching this particular movie, I felt like it could have been a little better. Sure there's a good plot and even some brief nudity; should have been more, imo. I mean, okay, I get it. Fat shaming is bad and yaddy yadda yadda but then you watch the end and feel like it was simply pointless. I mean, what exactly did this pretty and yes, sexy big girl accomplish? Not a whole hell of alot. Yes some people died (it's a slasher film after all ) but what did she really accomplish? Freedom? Revenge? A fresh start?? Seriously, this movie falls apart towards the end, and quite frankly I wish that I had watched something else that was a little more interesting. I award this movie 3 stars out of 10. 1 for the good plot, 1 for the brief nudity, and 1 for wasting my time.
The Munsters (2022)
Pure crap
Okay, I'm just going to say what we're all thinking. What in God's name did I just f#king watch?! Seriously! This is pure rubbish! Talk about miscasting! What's the matter? Andy Dick was too busy to make this movie? Seriously, HE would have made a better Herman Munster than the jackass that ended up playing him! Then you got Lilly Munster. She's so robotic and artificial that an actual Robot would have been a better choice! Was she only casted because her last name is Zombie? Oh ha-ha real funny; Sarcasm is hard to write, but I think that I managed it rather well. Seriously find something else to watch ANYTHING is better than this movie! May I recommend killer tomatoes? Sure that film sucks too; better than this GARBAGE!
Celtic Pride (1996)
Wait... This was a flop?
This movie is so underrated that it should be a crime! I'm not a sports fan(or a sports movie fan, really) but this was still a great movie! Stern and Dan at their best! Seriously, why so many negative reviews? Did they even watch this movie? Or are they just not Celtic fans? Well I'm no Celtic fan, but I still like this movie! It's an awesome movie. It has drama. It has action. It has basketball. It's funny and a delightful to see. So why so much hate? Why was this a flop? Is this why Daniel hasn't been in a major leading role for years? Because of this movie? He's one of the greatest actors of all time! Seriously, if you haven't seen this movie, please watch it! What do you have to lose?
Wheely (2018)
Okay, it's a ripoff
For a rip off of cars; still just as good. The animation is actually very decent. The voice acting was okay, and the story was decent. I know there's alot of butt hurt disney fans out there marking this movie down simply because it's a ripoff of cars', without giving this movie a fair chance.
Down the Drain (1990)
Hidden gem!
Why hasn't this movie blossomed? It's such a good movie! A true comedy and WONDERFUL action movie! Frankly if ANY movie deserves the status of, "cult classic", it's this one! Truly a hidden gem that's been over looked over the years!
Paparazzi (2004)
Underrated
This movie is absolutely underrated.
It shows the audience the pains of being famous and how nasty the press can really be! It deserves more recognition than it gets. If this movie were to be released today? It would've been a hit!
Scream (2022)
Predictable
This movie is so lame and predictable that it's hard to watch all the way through without rolling your eyes! Just a pathetic attempt to recapture lightning in a bottle by pretending that it's a directed sequel of which it really isn't! Just a rehashed plot with a slight gender reversal. Nothing more, nothing less. F- minus.
Mr. Headmistress (1998)
Lost gem
Made for TV movie or not, this movie is top notch and deserves better, quite frankly. Harland is simply amazing in this film. The jokes are fresh and the acting is great! Plus Katey Segal is in it!
Sammy (2000)
Sad
Well, I was about 10 when I first watched this cartoon, and wasn't sad when it disappeared off TV after a couple of episodes. But then it popped up on Youtube, sure I'm older and I get the jokes, but still not impressed. Even today I feel like it could have been better. Sure I enjoy the T&A that's in the cartoon, but really that's the only thing to look forward to in this cartoon. I like to imagine that spade had this failure somewhere in the back of the closet in a shoe box or whatever and some airhead found it, and decided to release it on youtube(probably Andy Dick, because let's be honest, when was the last time he was noticed or mattered?) either way, that's probably where it belongs; in a shoe box or in the garbage.