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judegraysmith
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Never Say Never Again (1983)
More than the worst Bond. It's the pits
Awful. Only given it three stars mainly for the fact it's the last Bond hubby has now purchased AND it makes George Lazenby's attempt at Bond look like high art. From overacting shouty Edward Fox, to Mr Bean with a stupid affected accent, to Bomber from Auf Wiedersehen, this looks like it's been filmed using video film techniques used by those awful late 1790's early 1980's movies like Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Steptoe the film and Carry on Abroad etc (which are probably better movies). There is none of the gloss we have become accustomed to with the Cubby movies, or the glamously filmed locations. Plot is silly, cast are awfully overacting. Some of the music sounds like the theme tune from Tales of The Unexpected. Connery just turned up for the money here. It really IS the worst Bond movie.
I Am: Celine Dion (2024)
So alone with all the trapping of wealth
This is a real look at life and how all the money in the world cannot stop some illness. Mainly done because the world of nastiness or Unsocial media has been saying that since her husband died she's been anorexic/taking drugs/unreliable/seeing young men/lost her looks early and on and on pulling her down. She's very ill with no end in sight but a condition getting worse. A lifelong sentence. She's been through the loss of her husband, the loss of her life and career, the loss of her health and independence. She worries her younger children will be left with no parents alive. Brave brave woman showing just how severe her condition is and my heart bleeds for her. When she shows just how severe an attack is, it's heartbreaking to hear her whimpers and to know she has no one super close to her other than medical staff. Excellent documentary flipping between her show life and now life showing how fit and healthy she was before this. There's no artiface here as some reviewers have said just a sad lost woman who had all the fame in the world but is now ill, sad and lost. She needs a good friend.
Ghosts (2021)
Love it. - It's like 2 Ghosts siblings, both similar both different.
I put watching this off for a long time as I snobbishly thought that the UK one is so subtle and good, the US one wasn't up to par because I listened to others who poo pooed it. I was wrong. Very wrong. This is very very good but definitely more for an adult audience than the UK version. As well as similar cast figures there are ones who relate more to American history not British. The house is also not as shabby chic as the decrepit UK one but hey in real life the US property historically would be much much younger anyway. Don't ignore it or judge it against the UK version, enjoy it for what it is and think to yourself "Am I sniggering in each episode and am I or anyone else in the room smiling at any point watching an episode?" If so then it's done it's job. It's like 2 close siblings, similar but completely different.
Volkodav iz roda Serykh Psov (2006)
One for the fantasy buffs or dark age history buffs. The bat gets Best Supporting Actor Award. .
Scenery is ten out of 10. Attention to historical dark age costumes, buildings, metal/blacksmithing /swordmaking spot on and lifestyle another ten of of 10. Good cgi in general. Thoroughly enjoyed this as an epic of the type. Only bits I found odd were firstly the beginning really really reminded me of the beginning of Conan the Barbarian, then it was the odd Darth Vader voice on the main baddy and finalky the end scene firey mountain bit which just went on and on. As I said in the title the Bat should have had a Best Supporting Actor award. No gratuitous sexy scenes, thank goodness, just a good solid, if a little gory at times, fantasy story. Loads better than the IMDB score might highlight. Pleased I took a chance and watched it on youtube via MovieTime.
The Ghosts of Borley Rectory (2021)
Hmm. Wonder who wasted their money on the making of this.
Sometimes a movie is so bad it's good, but not in this case. It was within the first 15 mins I was hoping it would get better but no. Absolutely awful acting from the entire cast and even the delightful Julian Sands who was wonderfully wicked in Warlock, could not raise this turkey from the dead. In fact he looked and sounded as if he was mortally ashamed of being in this movie. The actor from The Bill was totally miscast and he knew it. Toyah has proven once again she is no actress. One of the 'assistants' had the most god awful accent, trying to sound like a public schoolboys from the 1930's but to be honest was still better than the girl assistant and the dark haired bloke. I know by my partner's 'nods off' how bad a movie is and within the first half an hour we had three sessions of sleep, which is at the top end of the scale. I watched for longer just to confirm if it got better. It didn't. I would have given zero stars if I could. Funniest part of the movie (and I'm sure it was supposed to scary not funny) was the spirit's Hand when the fingers were wiggling for ages in the direction of the sandwich. I've seen kids messing about making better movies than this. One to avoid.
Eternals (2021)
A jumbled mess
This is a mess of a movie. Over complicated plots some terrible acting and also some terrible accents, even though the accents are correct for the place (Irish, Scottish) they are too strong for general worldwide movie audiences. Jolie has the acting presence of a block of wood. I only gave stars for the special effects as the actors were seriously miscast.
A Castle for Christmas (2021)
Steaming pile of Rudolf's doodo
From the first 15 mins it was obvious this wasn't a good movie. By the time they had chucked in every tick boxed person, thrown in a rebel knitting club, then began to sing On the Bonny Bonney Banks of Loch Lomond and the odd gay bloke had done a weird jig dance near a fireplace I had had enough. I didn't want to watch it all but thought in fairness I would grit teeth and get to the end. Oh and in this terrible storyline, no one in their right mind would choose to be put into the worst room in the entire castle - with shades of the worst Dickensian slums - when they already had explored it and seen all the other spare wonderful normal rooms. And just to cap a perfectly terrible movie, Brooke Shield's acting is worse than awful.
The Manitou (1978)
Brilliant book. Peese poor movie with bad casting
Brilliant book. Poor movie with bad casting. Whoever cast Tony Curtis as Harry needs their head looking at! He's just terrible and is hamming it up all the time. Very very so-so. Buy the book to read and just don't bother watching this.
Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)
As silly as the real Eurovision and a tribute to the silliness
As silly as the real Eurovision and a treat for sore eyes in 2020 when the real Eurovision has been cancelled due to covid 19 restrictions. All of us Brits love to hate Eurovision and cringe at the acts. This movie perfectly captures just how bad the songs and gimmicks can be in what is supposed to be a contest to find the best song. Good performances from all the cast and even the baddies are so bad they are good.
Watch it with a tongue in cheek attitude and enjoy.
Corner Gas (2004)
Still laughing over the coffin episode
Just started to watch this in 2019 as just appeared here in the UK on digital media. So so funny. Starts off slow but then gets better and better.Not often I laugh out loud without prompts and yet every single episode I have at least once. The coffin episode had me choking with laughter as who hasn't had or got a family member who goes on and on like the dad - ranting at the world? Easy comedy, no need for over sexing anything and very well observed characterization. In this world of over committed 'woke'comedies and over
CGI -ing everything this series is like a good dose of fresh air. Canadian air at that.
All the Way Up (1970)
Would have given zero if I could.
I was curious about this movie at first as I have been a movie buff for decades and yet had never heard of it. Once watched I could see why. Lots of 'faces' from the 1970s but none of them portraying any talent. Richard Briers awful. Warren Mitchell is worse. Wish I could unwatch this non funny supposed comedy.
Carnival Row (2019)
Dark, full of angst and violence but visually stunning
Dark, full of angst and violence but visually stunning. Well done to the special effects team (apart from the bad cgi near the beginning of first episode where Vingette flies over the cliffs to the ship). It's like a dark, steampunk version of Hans Christian Anderson dark fae tales, (not the silly watered down disneyfied nursery versions).
The hunting down of the fairies at the start harks back to every ethnic cleaning programme in the last few centuries here on earth.
The racism towards the fae world mirrors our own and it is meant to make us feel uncomfortable.
The worse of nature and the best of it make you cringe at times but hey, as I said it's not disney.
I for one am really enjoying this although it takes a while to get into it. I say well done to the creators for trying something completely different from the usual tv fodder.
The Good Place (2016)
Makes me snigger
I have really enjoyed this series. Ted Danson is excellent playing a soppy "Heavenly"character very well. The rest of the cast are good except the two who play Tahini and Jianyu Li (Jason) who I think overact and are not that good. Most episodes I have a snigger and some make me laugh out loud. Sometimes in life you just need a series like this which is funny, harmless and makes you want to watch the next episode straight away..
Now You See Me (2013)
I enjoyed it
I read no reviews of this movie( so was not tainted by someone else's viewpoint)and watched it on Netflix the other night. I for one thoroughly enjoyed this movie for what it was, a romp through some of the things 'so called magicians' get up whilst setting up 3 cons which get bigger every time. Suspend belief, stop being hyper critical and just enjoy. Of course Michael Caine plays Michael Caine again but he's made a career of it anyway!
It (2017)
Clowns and more clowns
If you didn't like clowns before and if Tim Curry scared the beejesus out of you with his version of Pennywise, you are going to walk out of the cinema this time vowing never again to want to see any clown, including ones which seemed benign before.
Where do I start with this movie. Obviously a lot of the book is not here (as what movie maker ever wants to see kids getting it on with each other) but this movie at least shows better than the mini series, how Bill and Beverly have a sexual tension between them and Ben looks on with heartbreak. It also shows the other boys gawping at Beverly as teens will do. Very well done at least for showing just some of the reasons why the 'Loser Club' bonded so well. The scene where Beverly's dad tried to rape her is very close to what happens in the book, showing how the evil permeates all the actions of adults around Derry. Henry and his teen bully gang are seriously nasty in this movie, again more like the ones in the book. There are extra things added in like Stanley being scared of a picture of a woman which looks like a Munch painting 'The Scream'. There's also changes in how each child repels attacks.
Odd scenes have been added as well but I will leave it to you to see if you think they fit in with the flow of the movie.
My teen son went with me to the movie and was checking his watch all the time as he didn't understand the slow build up of the story and was waiting for more 'boom-shock-horror' than the movie really has. His loss not mine as I was engrossed.
Pennywise is more awful than the Tim Curry version as it is quite clear in this movie we are not dealing with a normal ghost/spectre/ghoul even at this stage of the first movie (of what will end up as 2 and obviously the second movie will show the kids as adults, just like part 2 of the mini-series did). Only thing I found false was that near the end, Pennywise halted for far too long to attack/eat some of the kids.
Overall, a very worthwhile experience, albeit with changes from the book and mini-series.
The child actors are very, very good and 'own' this movie. The landscapes are much better than in the Mini series and I thought I understood much better the layout of the Barrens. Bill Skasgard has a hard job of following Tim Curry but his version of the evil clown stands up with the old one. Very, very well made movie and I can't wait to see part 2!
I will also dust off my old paperback version of the story and re-read now after 20 years.
R.I.P.D. (2013)
Awful
I thought and hoped this movie would be better than I expected so as a lover of crap movies I sat down to watch with bated breath. I can happily watch a pile of poo if it has a sense of humour but hated this movie. No interaction between the 'stars' and Jeff Bridges was unintelligible for a good part of the airtime. I thought I was going deaf in some places where he mumbles and talks too damn fast - and I'm a bloody interpreter in real life with excellent hearing! He also appeared to be trying to 'out act' Ryan Reynolds as well and Reynolds face showed he knew it!.
Gave two stars for idea of the movie but nothing else for the acting.
Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)
Hot Tub rubbish but fun
I love kitsch and this movie is just that. I like the idea of a hot tub time machine and can only applaud any writer who came up with such a rubbishy idea for a movie. Liked the back to the 80's bits as I too was one of those people dressed liked that. I loved Poison and Skid Row and make no apologies for being a teen in the 80's. Fun movie, just don't expect high art. Think Weekend at Bernie's and you won't be far wrong as far as comedy goes. Well chosen cast. They are playing a bunch life's losers and we can all equate with that. Like I have said in other reviews, I'm a sucker for movies so bad they are good but this one is just a little better than that.
Rock of Ages (2012)
So bad it's good..
If you liked Hot Tub Time Machine as a movie about the 80's, this will appeal to you. I watched the first half with my gob open. It's been a while since I've seen acting this godawful. Lead young guy and young girl have the screen appeal of a lump of lard and are so squeaky clean I wanted to puke! Catherine Zeta Jones looks wooden and totally out of place. Russel Brand has a stranger accent than normal with an odd Brummie/east end of London twang. Steve Baldwin was trying to be cool but just looked a right wally. Funnily enough though I thought Tom Cruise was OK in the star role and looked very hot in those leather chaps (and I don't normally like him much!) I won't do spoilers but there's a bit with a journalist and the (Cruise) rock star which had me laughing out loud, it was so awful. Anyway suffice to say I loved it. I just wished I had been drunk with a gang of friends when I watched it and had a side splitting evening. I'm just a sucker for movies so bad they are good and this is one of them.